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Author Topic: Let's talk about age gaps  (Read 37946 times)

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Re: Let's talk about age gaps
« Reply #360 on: Today at 07:37:02 AM »
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  • The question was how would I feel about a man in his 20’s courting a teenage daughter of mine.  Answer:  if my daughter was 14-15, definitely no.  If she was 16 and I knew the man and his family, ok, but only with supervision would I allow him to court her.  She could start making wedding plan her last year of high school.  That’s just my personal opinion and I certainly wouldn’t judge another for a more conservative perspective.
    Ok your answer is quite 'normal', I guess you think there is a big difference between 20s vs 30s, even though I think a 30s man is better equipped to be a father and husband. Also I think there should be supervision in courtship regardless of age because a man and woman who are not married should never be left alone together.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #361 on: Today at 07:41:22 AM »
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  • Ok your answer is quite 'normal', I guess you think there is a big difference between 20s vs 30s, even though I think a 30s man is better equipped to be a father and husband. Also I think there should be supervision in courtship regardless of age because a man and woman who are not married should never be left alone together.
    I think you sound like a well intentioned man and I would venture to say that I would approve of someone like you.  In real world situations there are always exceptions but I still wouldn’t be comfortable for my daughter dating any man, including young ones, before age 17.


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #362 on: Today at 07:53:43 AM »
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  • I think you sound like a well intentioned man and I would venture to say that I would approve of someone like you.  In real world situations there are always exceptions but I still wouldn’t be comfortable for my daughter dating any man, including young ones, before age 17.
    Yes I understand where you are coming from, since the Church does indeed clearly teach, that for under 18s parental consent is REQUIRED for marriage. There are certainly girls who are um 'well developed' by even 14 (to the point you would assume they were older based on their looks), but in other cases like a family member of mine, she did not reach menarche until 13.

    If you don't mind, what ages do you think is ideal for marriage for both man and woman? I personally agree with Aristotle for about 18 for most women, with exceptions being case by case, but for men I do not agree with him on 37 for the man (but I do understand the big advantage 37 has for a man in terms of finance, life exp and maturity) but around 25-27 because I think most girls do not find older guys (too much older or rather old looking) attractive. There are certainly some men who look much younger than their age say early 20s while being late 20s and this may give him more appeal with the younger ladies but most men do not age like this (especially if they do not take care of themselves). I am not a parent so I don't have personal bias e.g "Daddy's princess" for not letting my daughter marry, but some parents are like this, they can't accept they have a young woman and not a little girl even if she will always be their little girl, and this can lead to disastrous consequences if they rebel due to not being treated seriously.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #363 on: Today at 08:04:54 AM »
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  • Yes I understand where you are coming from, since the Church does indeed clearly teach, that for under 18s parental consent is REQUIRED for marriage. There are certainly girls who are um 'well developed' by even 14 (to the point you would assume they were older based on their looks), but in other cases like a family member of mine, she did not reach menarche until 13.

    If you don't mind, what ages do you think is ideal for marriage for both man and woman? I personally agree with Aristotle for about 18 for most women, with exceptions being case by case, but for men I do not agree with him on 37 for the man (but I do understand the big advantage 37 has for a man in terms of finance, life exp and maturity) but around 25-27 because I think most girls do not find older guys (too much older or rather old looking) attractive. There are certainly some men who look much younger than their age say early 20s while being late 20s and this may give him more appeal with the younger ladies but most men do not age like this (especially if they do not take care of themselves). I am not a parent so I don't have personal bias e.g "Daddy's princess" for not letting my daughter marry, but some parents are like this, they can't accept they have a young woman and not a little girl even if she will always be their little girl, and this can lead to disastrous consequences if they rebel due to not being treated seriously.
    Since we are talking generalizations, I would agree with you about age 18 being ideal for a woman.  For men, maybe mid 20’s because of the way men are built but 30’s would be ok if I knew the man (even if he was poor but a good worker and could hold down a job). The big thing is, willing to work hard to provide for his family.  And like I said earlier, my husband and I would always be willing to financially help our financially struggling children with no strings attached.  My grandparents did this for my parents who were very, very poor when they first married at ages 19 and 18.  By the time they passed away they handed down a sizable estate for each of their 5 children.  So God does help those who love Him.  Money is not what it’s all about in this life and parents need to teach their daughters to be frugal and giving.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #364 on: Today at 01:17:27 PM »
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  • Since we are talking generalizations, I would agree with you about age 18 being ideal for a woman.  For men, maybe mid 20’s because of the way men are built but 30’s would be ok if I knew the man (even if he was poor but a good worker and could hold down a job). The big thing is, willing to work hard to provide for his family.  And like I said earlier, my husband and I would always be willing to financially help our financially struggling children with no strings attached.  My grandparents did this for my parents who were very, very poor when they first married at ages 19 and 18.  By the time they passed away they handed down a sizable estate for each of their 5 children.  So God does help those who love Him.  Money is not what it’s all about in this life and parents need to teach their daughters to be frugal and giving.


    So you disagree with Aristotle.

    lol, the naivety of women.


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #365 on: Today at 01:55:08 PM »
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  • So you disagree with Aristotle.
    Aristotle is not God; of course people can disagree with him.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #366 on: Today at 03:23:19 PM »
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  • Aristotle is not God; of course people can disagree with him.
    Not to mention he was speaking of the times he was living in. 

    I wonder what age gap he would recommend these days.