Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on June 23, 2025, 01:16:52 AM
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Firstly, sugar is bad for you.
What do you consider an age gap?
How much is too much?
Are you male or female?
Roughly how old are you?
Personally I think mainly older women get upset with age gaps because their 'clock' is ticking. While some younger men get upset because they can't compete.
I consider an age gap to be 5+ years
No age gap is too much as the purpose of married is to have children. So it's not about the age gap but fertility.
I am me.
In my 20s.
I keep seeing age gaps demonised online yet the same people have no issue with Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu having a 10 yr gap (14 and 24) because Elvis 'respected' her and she didn't want sex before marriage so he wasn't a 'groomer'. Yet some members of this forum have vilified men for wanting something similar (or rather something more Holy). So are these secular people more rational than some trad Catholics? Or are they just making an exception because of their personal like of Elvis since he was rich, tall, handsome and famous?
Also on the wedding day they are called the Bride and Brides-GROOM, so why is the term 'groomer' used as an attack? Seems like a hidden attack on marriage if you ask me.
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No one should be diminishing it because it's Elvis. He was a lot of things and "moral" is not one of them. That relationship was problematic and so was he for never being there for his wife and child; either because he was a) touring b) on drugs, c) unfaithful or d) all of the above.
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It doesn't matter what other people think about age gaps, even if it's a forty year age gap. You shouldn't be concerned what other people think. It only matters between you, the woman and God. If both of you are attracted to each other and you care for each other, pay no mind to what other people think.
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Firstly, sugar is bad for you.
What do you consider an age gap?
How much is too much?
Are you male or female?
Roughly how old are you?
Seems like fodder for a poll. Why not create one?
Personally I think mainly older women get upset with age gaps because their 'clock' is ticking. While some younger men get upset because they can't compete.
I consider an age gap to be 5+ years
No age gap is too much as the purpose of married is to have children. So it's not about the age gap but fertility.
I am me.
In my 20s.
I keep seeing age gaps demonised online yet the same people have no issue with Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu having a 10 yr gap (14 and 24) because Elvis 'respected' her and she didn't want sex before marriage so he wasn't a 'groomer'. Yet some members of this forum have vilified men for wanting something similar (or rather something more Holy). So are these secular people more rational than some trad Catholics? Or are they just making an exception because of their personal like of Elvis since he was rich, tall, handsome and famous?
Also on the wedding day they are called the Bride and Brides-GROOM, so why is the term 'groomer' used as an attack? Seems like a hidden attack on marriage if you ask me.
Not a criticism, by the way, but I've lost count of the number of threads created touching this subject. I'm genuinely curious as to why this topic is such an obsession for you?
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My great-great grandfather was widowed at age 53 in 1886. He had 11 children and was a farmer. He married a spinster less than a year later and they had 3 children. She raised all 14 kids and they remained married til her death in 1922. The age difference was 20 years exactly. Someone explain using Catholic moral theology why this is wrong?
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Let's not. ::)
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Presilla is docuмented as saying Elvis quickly lost interest in her sɛҳuąƖly after she became pregnant with Lisa Marie.
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My great-great grandfather was widowed at age 53 in 1886. He had 11 children and was a farmer. He married a spinster less than a year later and they had 3 children. She raised all 14 kids and they remained married til her death in 1922. The age difference was 20 years exactly. Someone explain using Catholic moral theology why this is wrong?
It is not wrong. Who told you it is wrong?
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There's nothing wrong, in itself, with even a large age gap between spouses. In living memory of my own ancestry there is a couple with a 27 year gap. But I think one of the key reasons that you will not find a lot of support for something like that to become the norm is, ironically enough in our less-than-godly-West, because of the lingering effect of the ideal of Christian marriage on society. While the primary end of Marriage is the begetting and raising of children, the fact that one is limited to one spouse creates, and even requires, a certain moral expectation of parity betwixt the two.
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people have no issue with Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu having a 10 yr gap (14 and 24) because Elvis 'respected' her and she didn't want sex before marriage so he wasn't a 'groomer'.
Presilla is docuмented as saying Elvis quickly lost interest in her sɛҳuąƖly after she became pregnant with Lisa Marie.
The OP obviously hasn't read the book written by Priscilla. He wasn't grooming her... he sɛҳuąƖly teased her mercilessly. Neither were innocent or moral (by her own admission: this was not a judgement.)
Sorry for derailing.
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There’s lots of wiggle room here. Some couples are okay with age gaps, others are not. My mother was six years older than my father. In the 1940’s, it was considered too much, especially when the woman was older. Mom had more or decided maybe marriage wasn’t for her. She was thinking of making the Navy her career as she wasn’t suitable for a nun and hadn’t met anyone she wanted to marry. Until she got transferred to Lakehurst Naval Airbase and met Dad. They courted quite some time because had signed on to serve after the war. Lots of children were not in the offing due to a health issue, but they tried and two of us lived. We took in my cousins, seven of them, for 10 years, so the house was full, anyhow!
My parents were faithfully married 66 years. They lived until ages 98 and 96.
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The OP obviously hasn't read the book written by Priscilla. He wasn't grooming her... he sɛҳuąƖly teased her mercilessly. Neither were innocent or moral (by her own admission: this was not a judgement.)
Sorry for derailing.
OP is clearly ignorant and got his OPINION from ignorant people on the internet.
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Not a criticism, by the way, but I've lost count of the number of threads created touching this subject. I'm genuinely curious as to why this topic is such an obsession for you?
I wager that OP is just coping/ventig. So he comes to CopeINFO/CathTherapy to rant. Most likely the Jєωιѕн propaganda is getting to him so he feels the need to reinforce his beliefs by posting about it.
As for why OP is obsessed with woman (in particular young ladies) the book of genesis gives us the answer.
And the Lord God said: It is not good for man to be alone: let us make him a help like unto himself.
Frankly there a probably more men and even woman who are struggling with temptations and really should be getting married but for whatever reason are unable to get married (thanks jews) but won't voice it on here. Since OP is posting anonymously I guess he has no one to talk to about this in person or fears his local community orchestrating him (whether his concerns are valid or not is another thing but many trads did take the covid shot so I guess it is somewhat reasonable to expect some trads to be against an age gap).
So yeah, if you've seen those articles on male loneliness and read genesis you will quickly realise that men do not care about the company of other men for the most part, a guy having male friends or a community isn't going to 'fix' his loneliness, only a companion will fix this issue. Clearly though OP wants a teenage companion based off his comments.
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I wager that OP is just coping/ventig. So he comes to CopeINFO/CathTherapy to rant. Most likely the Jєωιѕн propaganda is getting to him so he feels the need to reinforce his beliefs by posting about it.
As for why OP is obsessed with woman (in particular young ladies) the book of genesis gives us the answer.Frankly there a probably more men and even woman who are struggling with temptations and really should be getting married but for whatever reason are unable to get married (thanks jews) but won't voice it on here. Since OP is posting anonymously I guess he has no one to talk to about this in person or fears his local community orchestrating him (whether his concerns are valid or not is another thing but many trads did take the covid shot so I guess it is somewhat reasonable to expect some trads to be against an age gap).
So yeah, if you've seen those articles on male loneliness and read genesis you will quickly realise that men do not care about the company of other men for the most part, a guy having male friends or a community isn't going to 'fix' his loneliness, only a companion will fix this issue. Clearly though OP wants a teenage companion based off his comments.
Love the "CopeINFO/CathTherapy"!
As far as it goes, I wouldn't mind finding a nice lady companion myself, but definitely not of the teen variety. I can't remember the last teenage girl that I met that I didn't find intolerably annoying. :laugh1:
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Not the op here.
WHO IS THE BOOMER THAT IS CLAIMING AGE GAPS IS A Jєωιѕн CONSPIRACY!!!
Get off this forum !
Good grief. The Holy family the example of families had an almost 20 year age gap, at a minimum, and people have the audiacity to come on here and criticize it.
This is typical micro controlling boomer/liberal thinking.
and who says the op is a man eh!!! to be honest I think it might be a woman....
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I wager that OP is just coping/ventig. So he comes to CopeINFO/CathTherapy to rant. Most likely the Jєωιѕн propaganda is getting to him so he feels the need to reinforce his beliefs by posting about it.
As for why OP is obsessed with woman (in particular young ladies) the book of genesis gives us the answer.Frankly there a probably more men and even woman who are struggling with temptations and really should be getting married but for whatever reason are unable to get married (thanks jews) but won't voice it on here. Since OP is posting anonymously I guess he has no one to talk to about this in person or fears his local community orchestrating him (whether his concerns are valid or not is another thing but many trads did take the covid shot so I guess it is somewhat reasonable to expect some trads to be against an age gap).
So yeah, if you've seen those articles on male loneliness and read genesis you will quickly realise that men do not care about the company of other men for the most part, a guy having male friends or a community isn't going to 'fix' his loneliness, only a companion will fix this issue. Clearly though OP wants a teenage companion based off his comments.
You missed the opportunity to say CRIOXinfo lol
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It seems to me many men are looking for a woman with the mentality and wisdom of a 60 year old in a 16 year body. Unfortunately, there is no such creature.
Song is for 18+, but it sure makes the point!
https://youtu.be/OOgd9hitEAE?si=wORtH8L19OhSiFph
reported for immodesty
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reported for immodesty
I gave a warning. Sorry if you’re offended.
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Not the op here.
WHO IS THE BOOMER THAT IS CLAIMING AGE GAPS IS A Jєωιѕн CONSPIRACY!!!
Get off this forum !
Good grief. The Holy family the example of families had an almost 20 year age gap, at a minimum, and people have the audiacity to come on here and criticize it.
This is typical micro controlling boomer/liberal thinking.
and who says the op is a man eh!!! to be honest I think it might be a woman....
:confused: I think you might have misread some post(s) in the thread. No big deal, pretty much everyone here has done it some time or other. :cowboy:
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It seems to me many men are looking for a woman with the mentality and wisdom of a 60 year old in a 16 year body. Unfortunately, there is no such creature.
Song is for 18+, but it sure makes the point!
https://youtu.be/OOgd9hitEAE?si=wORtH8L19OhSiFph
reported for immodesty
FWIW, I thought it was humorous. It is inappropriate but, honestly, with some of the crap that gets posted on CI, I have a hard time getting excited over seeing stuff in a video that's less immodest than what I see in an average trip to Wal-Mart.
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FWIW, I thought it was humorous. It is inappropriate but, honestly, with some of the crap that gets posted on CI, I have a hard time getting excited over seeing stuff in a video that's less immodest than what I see in an average trip to Wal-Mart.
I second the comment about Walmart. I was there on Saturday and saw a young couple who may as well have been naked. They’d have been thrown out of the redneck barbecue for indecency. Think, string bikini top, Daisy Dukes, Speedo, cut-off mesh muscle shirt, and flip flops. But maybe it was okay because of the tattoos. Do they count for clothes, now?
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Not the op here.
WHO IS THE BOOMER THAT IS CLAIMING AGE GAPS IS A Jєωιѕн CONSPIRACY!!!
Get off this forum !
Good grief. The Holy family the example of families had an almost 20 year age gap, at a minimum, and people have the audiacity to come on here and criticize it.
This is typical micro controlling boomer/liberal thinking.
and who says the op is a man eh!!! to be honest I think it might be a woman....
Secular people have never been more against age gap than ever before... This is due to Jєωιѕн propaganda.
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FWIW, I thought it was humorous. It is inappropriate but, honestly, with some of the crap that gets posted on CI, I have a hard time getting excited over seeing stuff in a video that's less immodest than what I see in an average trip to Wal-Mart.
Nah you still shouldn't post it.
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Nah you still shouldn't post it.
Not sure in what way you are using the term "you". If you are addressing me individually as being the one who posted the video, I am not the one who did. If by "you", you are making a general admonishment that no one should have posted that video, I do not disagree.
-author of posts 3, 8, 13, 18 & 19.
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reported for immodesty
you missed the memo: don't quote the post you're reporting
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you missed the memo: don't quote the post you're reporting
sorry i’ll try to remember
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you will quickly realise that men do not care about the company of other men for the most part, a guy having male friends or a community isn't going to 'fix' his loneliness, only a companion will fix this issue.
Well-adjusted men have male friends. Those who are incapable of doing so will also be incapable of attracting a woman. Women are social and part of married life is getting together with other couples and, when babies come along, the familes get together. This is normal human life.
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Well-adjusted men have male friends. Those who are incapable of doing so will also be incapable of attracting a woman. Women are social and part of married life is getting together with other couples and, when babies come along, the familes get together. This is normal human life.
If you don't have a family then you don't have that reason to get together. Men tend to be less social in general than woman, so it's not surprising that so e men are not super close or interested in being close with other men unless they have a reason to.
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If you don't have a family then you don't have that reason to get together. Men tend to be less social in general than woman, so it's not surprising that so e men are not super close or interested in being close with other men unless they have a reason to.
It’s true in much of the higher species of the animal kingdom. The females hang together with the young and males go solo until it’s mating season. Some animals travel as mixed groups with a male leader, the remaining males being still under their mother’s care. In a few cases where the group is matriarchal, for example, elephants, the fully grown males go solo until mating season. In creatures that mate for life, it is couples that flock together with other couples.
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I noticed a few presidents of Brazil were 20+ to around 30 years age difference with their wives, whether or not valid. I wonder if it is something of a thing over there that is not frowned upon. Nevertheless, it all depends on the situation.
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It’s true in much of the higher species of the animal kingdom. The females hang together with the young and males go solo until it’s mating season. Some animals travel as mixed groups with a male leader, the remaining males being still under their mother’s care. In a few cases where the group is matriarchal, for example, elephants, the fully grown males go solo until mating season. In creatures that mate for life, it is couples that flock together with other couples.
Humans are not animals. We are not materialist atheists. They say we are animals. We alone have intellect and Free Will, created in the image and likeness of God. No other "animal" shares that distinction. We are not (mere) animals.
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I noticed a few presidents of Brazil were 20+ to around 30 years age difference with their wives, whether or not valid. I wonder if it is something of a thing over there that is not frowned upon. Nevertheless, it all depends on the situation.
Western nations are brainwashed on age gaps due to jews, freemasons and protestants and feminism. Asian countries this is not an issue.
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Firstly, sugar is bad for you.
What do you consider an age gap?
How much is too much?
Are you male or female?
Roughly how old are you?
Personally I think mainly older women get upset with age gaps because their 'clock' is ticking. While some younger men get upset because they can't compete.
I consider an age gap to be 5+ years
No age gap is too much as the purpose of married is to have children. So it's not about the age gap but fertility.
I am me.
In my 20s.
I keep seeing age gaps demonised online yet the same people have no issue with Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu having a 10 yr gap (14 and 24) because Elvis 'respected' her and she didn't want sex before marriage so he wasn't a 'groomer'. Yet some members of this forum have vilified men for wanting something similar (or rather something more Holy). So are these secular people more rational than some trad Catholics? Or are they just making an exception because of their personal like of Elvis since he was rich, tall, handsome and famous?
Also on the wedding day they are called the Bride and Brides-GROOM, so why is the term 'groomer' used as an attack? Seems like a hidden attack on marriage if you ask me.
I think you are desperately attempting to justify some imperfections in your nature. I suggest you speak with a priest about this topic.
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I think you are desperately attempting to justify some imperfections in your nature. I suggest you speak with a priest about this topic.
Indeed. This topic was discussed ad nauseam in the other thread the OP created about whether men really prefer teenage girls. It’s time for him to talk to a traditional priest rather than try to get support for his point of view on a forum.
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Indeed. This topic was discussed ad nauseam in the other thread the OP created about whether men really prefer teenage girls. It’s time for him to talk to a traditional priest rather than try to get support for his point of view on a forum.
And what is a priest going to tell him?
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We don’t know, so why not encourage him to ask? Are you afraid of what the priest will tell him?
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We don’t know, so why not encourage him to ask? Are you afraid of what the priest will tell him?
I think you need to mind your own business. Not the OP.
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And what is a priest going to tell him?
Yes that's a good question. If the priest thinks women should get married in their 20s he's not going to like what the priest has to say. For reference my parents and grandparents wives all got married around ~18 to men 6-9 yrs older than them, so if OP wants an ~18 yr old I see no problem.
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You can be sure the priest won’t say a 12 year old is a-ok. ;)
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You can be sure the priest won’t say a 12 year old is a-ok. ;)
Obviously as the law of the Church is 14 youngest... I don't think OP is interested in 12 yr olds. ~17 is usually what most guys like.
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Okay, on the other thread there was discussion about 12 years old being the limit historically. A few thought that was reasonable for this day and age.
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Okay, on the other thread there was discussion about 12 years old being the limit historically. A few thought that was reasonable for this day and age.
I'm guessing you are a woman? Discussing the limit is not the same as saying you are attracted to 12 yr olds. Plus admiring a young girls beauty and wanting to provide and support them is not the same as sɛҳuąƖ attraction. Most 12 yr olds are cute but not sexy if that makes sense
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I'm guessing you are a woman? Discussing the limit is not the same as saying you are attracted to 12 yr olds. Plus admiring a young girls beauty and wanting to provide and support them is not the same as sɛҳuąƖ attraction. Most 12 yr olds are cute but not sexy if that makes sense
I will add 'reasonable' as some girls start developing around 6-8 while most start about 12. It's not like human biology has changed in the last 4000 years, just Jєωιѕн tricks.
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I think you are desperately attempting to justify some imperfections in your nature. I suggest you speak with a priest about this topic.
Yes.
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Indeed. This topic was discussed ad nauseam in the other thread the OP created about whether men really prefer teenage girls. It’s time for him to talk to a traditional priest rather than try to get support for his point of view on a forum.
Yes.
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Obviously as the law of the Church is 14 youngest... I don't think OP is interested in 12 yr olds. ~17 is usually what most guys like.
"What most guys like" as in sɛҳuąƖ attraction or as in a life-long partner who will be the mature Traditional Catholic mother of his children?
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"What most guys like" as in sɛҳuąƖ attraction or as in a life-long partner who will be the mature Traditional Catholic mother of his children?
Both.
Uncorrupted virgins are the most likely to be good Catholic mothers, everything else being equal. Just stating a fact.
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"What most guys like" as in sɛҳuąƖ attraction or as in a life-long partner who will be the mature Traditional Catholic mother of his children?
Both. Younger women have more energy for their children and husband, have less expections and experiences and entitlement, are more fertile, less jaded/bitter, cuter and less brainwashed. Economy pushes back marriage for men, education is what pushed back marriage for women.
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I recall now that Aristotle said the idea ages to marry were 37 for the man and 18 for the woman.
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Seriously, how are there any people who want to put limits on this when the Holy Family had a 20 year age gap AT THE VERY LEAST.
Some Fathers even thought he was an old man.
You people who try to promote this closeness in age as being the ideal are either boomers, Jews or just plain stupid.
The IDEAL is a large age gap. For what marriage is and what its meant to do. Namely : SERVE THE CHURCH AND SOCIETY.
If you think otherwise in good faith, you have been brainwashed by the inversion of the marriage ends that has taken place over the last 200 years, and in the Church since Vatican II.
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Seriously, how are there any people who want to put limits on this when the Holy Family had a 20 year age gap AT THE VERY LEAST.
Some Fathers even thought he was an old man.
You people who try to promote this closeness in age as being the ideal are either boomers, Jews or just plain stupid.
The IDEAL is a large age gap. For what marriage is and what its meant to do. Namely : SERVE THE CHURCH AND SOCIETY.
If you think otherwise in good faith, you have been brainwashed by the inversion of the marriage ends that has taken place over the last 200 years, and in the Church since Vatican II.
I don’t understand why people keep bringing up the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary did not have a sɛҳuąƖ relationship. Also, on the flip side, a 37 year old man will be 67 when his 14 year old bride is no longer fertile. The baby they could have at age 10 will have a father that is 77. Do you think that’s ideal? If an energetic mother is important, isn’t the same true for a father?
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So you're taking an average middle aged man, worrying about conceiving a child with a younger wife at the end of HER fertility, and then fast-forwarding how old he'll be at different stages of the child's life?
I guess the only conclusion is "sometimes you have old parents". This is true for many "Gen Z approved" equal-age marriages as well.
What if you conceive at 42 or something? You'll be 60 when your child is graduating High School. Such is life.
But more realistically -- your wife will be AT LEAST a couple years younger than you. What if you have a child at the very end of her fertility? You'd add a few more years then. The dad is going to be older.
And how healthy/active is a man at 60? It HIGHLY VARIES. Some men are in "scooter ville", with a handicap sticker on their car, no longer able to walk around the big box store on their own power. Others are still playing sports. It all depends on genetics, lifestyle, career, and how they took care of themselves.
So no, it's not required or even "average" to be the energetic, youthful 20-year old dad who is as active/healthy as a child himself.
Yes, if you happen to be the youngest child, and your parents conceived you in the late autumn of their fertility -- then yes, you are going to have older parents.
Some people have to bury their first parent before they turn 20; others have their parents with them for almost their whole life. In fact, some parents have to bury their children! It's just the inequality of life.
Even if you have parents 45+ years older than you, some people have *additional* crosses to bear. For example, I know one woman who is in her late 40's but she doesn't look a day under 70. No exaggeration, either. Did she use meth? I know she's a smoker. She had all her teeth removed and looks like she doesn't bother with false teeth. She had a daughter when she was in her low 40's. Imagine that daughter's situation.
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I don’t understand why people keep bringing up the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary did not have a sɛҳuąƖ relationship. Also, on the flip side, a 37 year old man will be 67 when his 14 year old bride is no longer fertile. The baby they could have at age 10 will have a father that is 77. Do you think that’s ideal? If an energetic mother is important, isn’t the same true for a father?
That was me, The Mrs
Matthew, I see your point, but aren’t we talking about ideal situations here? I just had a baby at age 45. I am pretty healthy and we have a large family, even though I got married later. My husband is 8 years older than me. I was 27 when we got married. He’s 53, with a baby. So when baby is 18, he will be 71.
It seems to me that some are placing such incredible importance of marrying a young teenager. Said teen wife will not always be beautiful. Just want to make sure that’s a reality that the OP understands as sɛҳuąƖ attraction seems of very high importance to him. By the way, I think 18 is okay.
Just in case one wonders, I’m not coping, I live in the world of reality. I know I am way past my peak and recognize that’s the way it is. I have been told I look like I’m in my early 30s. I eat healthy. Also not in the least bit bothered when my husband comments on the beauty of prospective girls at our chapel for our older boy. I too appreciate the beauty of teenage girls as they are at the peak of their attractiveness, it’s God’s creation. I happily trade in my looks for my life experience and richness of having a good Catholic husband and many children. I’m very secure in my relationship with my husband, so no cope here.
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My husband is also 8-9 years older and I couldn’t fathom marrying someone 10+ years older. My parents are 10 years apart (dad is older). Maybe my max is 15. I wouldn’t want to marry someone who could be my dad/same age as my parents. If the economy is far worse than it is now, maybe women would be marrying older men.
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I can give similar reasons (to avoiding older women) to why I wouldn't recommend older men (like 10+ years) as a first choice. Less likely to be a virgin, they'll have more sɛҳuąƖ experience, more jaded/bitter with women (if they've been looking for long), they'd die earlier and i'd be alone for a longer time. And men closer to my age are more physically attractive than a much older man. And they have more energy and motivation compared to an older man.
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I can give similar reasons (to avoiding older women) to why I wouldn't recommend older men (like 10+ years) as a first choice. Less likely to be a virgin, they'll have more sɛҳuąƖ experience, more jaded/bitter with women (if they've been looking for long), they'd die earlier and i'd be alone for a longer time. And men closer to my age are more physically attractive than a much older man. And they have more energy and motivation compared to an older man.
That was me.
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It seems to me that some are placing such incredible importance of marrying a young teenager. Said teen wife will not always be beautiful. Just want to make sure that’s a reality that the OP understands as sɛҳuąƖ attraction seems of very high importance to him. By the way, I think 18 is okay.
Beauty is only a secondary reason to marrying young. The primary would be two things - health/fertility and less corruption by the world. The less dating experience a woman has, the better the marriage.
And before you argue against this, no, dating experience isn't a necessity. Some is necessary, but not a lot. Prayer and Divine Providence take care of one's vocation.
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I don’t understand why people keep bringing up the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary did not have a sɛҳuąƖ relationship. Also, on the flip side, a 37 year old man will be 67 when his 14 year old bride is no longer fertile. The baby they could have at age 10 will have a father that is 77. Do you think that’s ideal? If an energetic mother is important, isn’t the same true for a father?
And I dont know why people keep denying the example of the Holy Family!!!!
Its crazy!
Why would GOD ALMIGHTY give us the EXAMPLE OF EXAMPLES for the family! And then want us to go the opposite way!
And no the same is not true for a Father. You clearly dont know anyone who is in a an age gap marriage. I do. And it works better than other marriages.
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That was me, The Mrs
Matthew, I see your point, but aren’t we talking about ideal situations here? I just had a baby at age 45. I am pretty healthy and we have a large family, even though I got married later. My husband is 8 years older than me. I was 27 when we got married. He’s 53, with a baby. So when baby is 18, he will be 71.
It seems to me that some are placing such incredible importance of marrying a young teenager. Said teen wife will not always be beautiful. Just want to make sure that’s a reality that the OP understands as sɛҳuąƖ attraction seems of very high importance to him. By the way, I think 18 is okay.
Just in case one wonders, I’m not coping, I live in the world of reality. I know I am way past my peak and recognize that’s the way it is. I have been told I look like I’m in my early 30s. I eat healthy. Also not in the least bit bothered when my husband comments on the beauty of prospective girls at our chapel for our older boy. I too appreciate the beauty of teenage girls as they are at the peak of their attractiveness, it’s God’s creation. I happily trade in my looks for my life experience and richness of having a good Catholic husband and many children. I’m very secure in my relationship with my husband, so no cope here.
Yes we are talking about ideals! Is being energetic the sum of marriage? Honestly, when you hear people talk like this it makes me wonder what they think life is about at all.
Well so much for wisdom of year, guiding the wife in her natural female weakness. Being a steady hand... etc. etc. But no! So long as you can run around a baseball field, then that is what makes you a good dad!
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My husband is also 8-9 years older and I couldn’t fathom marrying someone 10+ years older. My parents are 10 years apart (dad is older). Maybe my max is 15. I wouldn’t want to marry someone who could be my dad/same age as my parents. If the economy is far worse than it is now, maybe women would be marrying older men.
Thats because you as a woman look around you, rather than think with principles.
All women do that. Its impossible to get out of you.
Thats why you need to be lead. You see a society now where age gaps are held in disdain. But in 50 years that will have changed, and the women then will be saying something different.
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I can give similar reasons (to avoiding older women) to why I wouldn't recommend older men (like 10+ years) as a first choice. Less likely to be a virgin, they'll have more sɛҳuąƖ experience, more jaded/bitter with women (if they've been looking for long), they'd die earlier and i'd be alone for a longer time. And men closer to my age are more physically attractive than a much older man. And they have more energy and motivation compared to an older man.
Marriage is about physical energy argument again.
You people are NUTS
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And I dont know why people keep denying the example of the Holy Family!!!!
Its crazy!
Why would GOD ALMIGHTY give us the EXAMPLE OF EXAMPLES for the family! And then want us to go the opposite way!
And no the same is not true for a Father. You clearly dont know anyone who is in a an age gap marriage. I do. And it works better than other marriages.
These people are way too worldly and material minded.
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Both. Younger women have more energy for their children and husband, have less expections and experiences and entitlement, are more fertile, less jaded/bitter, cuter and less brainwashed. Economy pushes back marriage for men, education is what pushed back marriage for women.
Were you the person bringing “energy” into this for the woman then later arguing that it doesn’t matter for the man? My husband works harder now that we have 9 kids than he did when we had 1. He needs his health and energy to provide for our family well and the obligations only increase with each addition to the family.
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Thats because you as a woman look around you, rather than think with principles.
All women do that. Its impossible to get out of you.
Thats why you need to be lead. You see a society now where age gaps are held in disdain. But in 50 years that will have changed, and the women then will be saying something different.
I don't see age gaps having more benefits than a marriage where both spouses are similar in age. It's just something that happens when the economy is so bad. Or the woman is married off to escape poverty.
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I don’t understand why people keep bringing up the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary did not have a sɛҳuąƖ relationship. Also, on the flip side, a 37 year old man will be 67 when his 14 year old bride is no longer fertile. The baby they could have at age 10 will have a father that is 77. Do you think that’s ideal? If an energetic mother is important, isn’t the same true for a father?
My dad is 70 and he is very active. Sure he has problems like arthritis but he is always keeping busy doing something like gardening etc.
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Yes we are talking about ideals! Is being energetic the sum of marriage? Honestly, when you hear people talk like this it makes me wonder what they think life is about at all.
Well so much for wisdom of year, guiding the wife in her natural female weakness. Being a steady hand... etc. etc. But no! So long as you can run around a baseball field, then that is what makes you a good dad!
Is a father supposed to act in such a manner? I understand he should have an active participation in the children's life but should he also has a air of authority and graveness rather than putting himself on the level of his children? How should a man play with his offspring? Should he even be playing at all?
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I don't see age gaps having more benefits than a marriage where both spouses are similar in age. It's just something that happens when the economy is so bad. Or the woman is married off to escape poverty.
Actually historically it was always the norm for the male to be older. An age gap hells the woman understand her place better, being a similar age is dangerous due to modern brainwashing of "equality".
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I don't see age gaps having more benefits than a marriage where both spouses are similar in age. It's just something that happens when the economy is so bad. Or the woman is married off to escape poverty.
You keep bringing things back to what suits YOU!
To what suits the woman.
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Were you the person bringing “energy” into this for the woman then later arguing that it doesn’t matter for the man? My husband works harder now that we have 9 kids than he did when we had 1. He needs his health and energy to provide for our family well and the obligations only increase with each addition to the family.
If they are all under 18 then yes thats the hardest part. After that, they start earning and can bring money into the house.
Children should be doing chores anyway from a young age. Especially the girls inside the house.
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You keep bringing things back to what suits YOU!
To what suits the woman.
By putting this topic in the main forum, it seems the OP wants the opinions of women but doesn’t like them.
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Marriage is about physical energy argument again.
You people are NUTS
Come now, let’s discuss honestly shall we? Stop gaslighting. She is discussing it as a factor, not as the one and ONLY defining factor.
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You keep bringing things back to what suits YOU!
To what suits the woman.
Yes. Most women have no idea (nor care) what works best for men.
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I don't see age gaps having more benefits than a marriage where both spouses are similar in age. It's just something that happens when the economy is so bad. Or the woman is married off to escape poverty.
Do age gaps have substantially less benefits? I’ve yet to see any major issues. The main argument has been personal preference.
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The reality is God helps two people find each other. The age gap is only an issue if the parents of the girl teach her that it matters and is something to be avoided.
There are so many other things to consider in finding someone to marry, why does the age gap continue to be some sort of litmus test?
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Actually historically it was always the norm for the male to be older. An age gap hells the woman understand her place better, being a similar age is dangerous due to modern brainwashing of "equality".
This makes no sense. The younger the woman, the worse the brainwashing.
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Yes. Most women have no idea (nor care) what works best for men.
Traditional Catholic women understand that we are helpmates to our husbands. We care deeply for our husbands and of course we care about their well-being and their salvation. Since you are presumably seeking a Traditional Catholic woman as a spouse, why do you even care about "most women"?
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Traditional Catholic women understand that we are helpmates to our husbands. We care deeply for our husbands and of course we care about their well-being and their salvation. Since you are presumably seeking a Traditional Catholic woman as a spouse, why do you even care about "most women"?
Because I care about society and all catholic families. I don’t have the luxury of the female mindset, which is focused on their personal situation alone. Females are designed to be self-focused. Males are designed to be general-focused, because it’s their calling to govern, which requires them to make decisions for personal benefit AND ALSO balanced for societal benefit.
Women generally make decisions based on family/friends’ opinions. So if “most Trad women” are liberal, then even if you find one that is not, they will become liberal by osmosis. Time has proven that women are corrupted by society far more than men, who are usually corrupted due to laziness and perversion.
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This whole question of “other women” goes far beyond dating and age gaps. It affects politics, child rearing, voting, etc.
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By putting this topic in the main forum, it seems the OP wants the opinions of women but doesn’t like them.
lol. I'm not the OP. But you deliberately have got it wrong... again.Its not about not wanting the opinions of women. But not wanting opinions that simply encourage our worldly revolutionary culture.
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Come now, let’s discuss honestly shall we? Stop gaslighting. She is discussing it as a factor, not as the one and ONLY defining factor.
Whats NUTS is the PRIORITIZING of the thing.
You're tone policing here, and its not helpful
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Do age gaps have substantially less benefits? I’ve yet to see any major issues. The main argument has been personal preference.
BINGO. The women arguing for this are women who are in marriages or from marriages where there was no age differences. I would be willing to wager that if they even did see age gap marriages in action, they were not very good ones.
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The reality is God helps two people find each other. The age gap is only an issue if the parents of the girl teach her that it matters and is something to be avoided.
There are so many other things to consider in finding someone to marry, why does the age gap continue to be some sort of litmus test?
EXACTLY. Well said. Those of us in the remnant Catholic faithful of the resistance, need to banish this worldliness from our thinking. Especially when it comes to helping our daughters find husbands.
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Traditional Catholic women understand that we are helpmates to our husbands. We care deeply for our husbands and of course we care about their well-being and their salvation. Since you are presumably seeking a Traditional Catholic woman as a spouse, why do you even care about "most women"?
I am not the person you are quoting. But presuming it is a man, he is just making a generalization. Saying the quiet part out loud. That all good men know, but never say to the face of ladies.
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The single guy pushing forty who brags about having a non-commital five-year relationship with a much younger woman tossed a grenade and you all are pushing each other out of the way to see who can jump on it first.
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lol. I'm not the OP. But you deliberately have got it wrong... again.Its not about not wanting the opinions of women. But not wanting opinions that simply encourage our worldly revolutionary culture.
That’s your opinion, that my opinion encourages a revolutionary culture.
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The single guy pushing forty who brags about having a non-commital five-year relationship with a much younger woman tossed a grenade and you all are pushing each other out of the way to see who can jump on it first.
I'm not the person you are talking about here. But that was a pretty effeminate thing to say bro. Maybe go examine your conscience.
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That’s your opinion, that my opinion encourages a revolutionary culture.
My opinion. Which conforms to the truth.
And your stubbornness just confirms in my mind why, generally speaking, women should not be online speaking publicly.
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Yes. Most women have no idea (nor care) what works best for men.
What works best for catholic men, works best for families, which works best for society.
Women hardly even know what they want in a guy, past the very basics. There are countless stories of women who were happy outside of their <type>.
Which is why this whole age gap discussion is stupid. Modern women have been brainwashed into putting so many filters on their marriage choices, that they will never find anyone. Which is what the brainwashers want, less families. But modern women won't figure out they've been duped until it's too late.
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Because I care about society and all catholic families. I don’t have the luxury of the female mindset, which is focused on their personal situation alone. Females are designed to be self-focused. Males are designed to be general-focused, because it’s their calling to govern, which requires them to make decisions for personal benefit AND ALSO balanced for societal benefit.
Women generally make decisions based on family/friends’ opinions. So if “most Trad women” are liberal, then even if you find one that is not, they will become liberal by osmosis. Time has proven that women are corrupted by society far more than men, who are usually corrupted due to laziness and perversion.
I don't disagree what you are trying to say. I just hope for a little more clarification.
What do you mean when you say women are designed to be self-focused? Women are designed to raise children, how is that self-focused?
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My opinion. Which conforms to the truth.
And your stubbornness just confirms in my mind why, generally speaking, women should not be online speaking publicly.
I pity the poor woman who agrees to marry you. If that ever happens.
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I don't disagree what you are trying to say. I just hope for a little more clarification.
What do you mean when you say women are designed to be self-focused? Women are designed to raise children, how is that self-focused?
Self includes their children/family.
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The single guy pushing forty who brags about having a non-commital five-year relationship with a much younger woman tossed a grenade and you all are pushing each other out of the way to see who can jump on it first.
??? Wasn't that Criox/WWCSG?
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Self includes their children/family.
Thanks. I would add friends.
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I pity the poor woman who agrees to marry you. If that ever happens.
Or maybe I just have a wife who isnt a witch.
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Imagine how the world would be reacting if she was 17 and him 37. Same age gap, but she would just be a lot more attractive, her face isn't very good without makeup (she looks VERY old at 27) but she has large breasts (she claims to be natural but who knows if they are fake).
(https://i.imgur.com/ZAiXJ6b.png)
I found this posts elsewhere on Biblical and Catholic age gaps.
Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), and after the death of Sarah at the age of 127, Abraham married Keturah and fathered six children with her (Genesis 21:5,23:1-2,25:1-2)
Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah, and 60 when Rebekah bore Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:19-26)
Esau was 40 when he married two Hittite women (Genesis 26:34-35) - although it should be noted that Esau is not held up as a Biblical role model
Jacob was about 80 when he married Leah (various passages)
Moses was over 40 when he fathered two sons (Acts 7:22-29)
David was 30 when he began his reign as king of Israel, afterwards taking many wives (2 Samuel 5:4)
Zechariah and Elizabeth were "getting on in years" when John the Baptist was born (Luke 1:5-7)
And from some other, extra-Biblical sources, a similar story:
According to Jєωιѕн midrash, Ruth was 40 and Boaz was 80 when they married
According to apocryphal sources, Joseph was 40 when he took his first wife, who died when he was about 89 - after which point, he took as his second wife the Virgin Mary
Honorable mention: even in modern times, a couple of Popes were born to fathers of advanced age:
Pope St. Pius X was born in 1835 to Giovanni Battista Sarto, ~43, and Margherita Sanson, ~22 (source)
Pope Benedict XVI was born in 1927 to Joseph Ratzinger, Sr.,50, and his wife Maria, 43
Now personally I don't believe that Jєωιѕн source claiming Joseph was married once before but that is a completely different topic.
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Imagine how the world would be reacting if she was 17 and him 37. Same age gap, but she would just be a lot more attractive, her face isn't very good without makeup (she looks VERY old at 27) but she has large breasts (she claims to be natural but who knows if they are fake).
(https://i.imgur.com/ZAiXJ6b.png)
I found this posts elsewhere on Biblical and Catholic age gaps.
Now personally I don't believe that Jєωιѕн source claiming Joseph was married once before but that is a completely different topic.
Another source
Giovanni Battista was 41 years old when he married, the 13th February 1833, Margherita Sanson (1813-1894): the bride was only 20, and their marriage was consecrated by the chaplain Father Pier Paolo Pellizzari (S.Vito d’Asolo, 1807-Vallà, 1875).
20 is still a few years younger than 22. If woman want a large family, and fathers want someone reliable for their daughters, older men are the best option. That's simply how it was always done when society didn't have "safety nets" (many of which are bad like encouraging fornication and fathering of bastards) as the man needed to be a stable member of society.
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Another source
Giovanni Battista was 41 years old when he married, the 13th February 1833, Margherita Sanson (1813-1894): the bride was only 20, and their marriage was consecrated by the chaplain Father Pier Paolo Pellizzari (S.Vito d’Asolo, 1807-Vallà, 1875).
20 is still a few years younger than 22. If woman want a large family, and fathers want someone reliable for their daughters, older men are the best option. That's simply how it was always done when society didn't have "safety nets" (many of which are bad like encouraging fornication and fathering of bastards) as the man needed to be a stable member of society.
Then why don't you get off the internet and get your home/finances ready for your future bride and family?
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Then why don't you get off the internet and get your home/finances ready for your future bride and family?
:facepalm: More feminism/male-hating in action.
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:facepalm: More feminism/male-hating in action.
Not the author of "Then why don't you get off the internet and get your home/finances ready for your future bride and family?", but running low on patience with hyperfixation does not (=/=) equal "feminism/male-hating".
Just food for thought: often, a particular criticism is not comprehensively valid or fair but it is relatively rare that it has absolutely zero merit.
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:fryingpan: :facepalm: Kind of tired of this thread. Every couple is different. Age gap/no age gap, it doesn’t really matter. We can all think of people for it was a problem and others for whom it wasn’t.
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Not the author of "Then why don't you get off the internet and get your home/finances ready for your future bride and family?", but running low on patience with hyperfixation does not (=/=) equal "feminism/male-hating".
Just food for thought: often, a particular criticism is not comprehensively valid or fair but it is relatively rare that it has absolutely zero merit.
I guess OP is just bored/struggling with temptation while he "prepares" himself. Between work, eating and sleep there isn't too much for someone to do until they have their own house.
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Not the author of "Then why don't you get off the internet and get your home/finances ready for your future bride and family?", but running low on patience with hyperfixation does not (=/=) equal "feminism/male-hating".
Just food for thought: often, a particular criticism is not comprehensively valid or fair but it is relatively rare that it has absolutely zero merit.
The comment was an ad hominem and had nothing to do with the poster.
A criticism in real life may have merit, but one aimed at an anonymous poster? :laugh1:
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I guess OP is just bored/struggling with temptation while he "prepares" himself. Between work, eating and sleep there isn't too much for someone to do until they have their own house.
One would hope that all of us fill any open slots with spiritual and corporal works of mercy -eh?
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As you can see per the graph, education is the main reason that woman delay marriage, this is not natural and due to (((propaganda))). Per biology a woman should get married around 18.
(https://i.imgur.com/sbCdXJp.png)
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Is he right? Are men the prize when it comes to marriage?
(https://i.imgur.com/BCvzTFx.png)
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Is he right? Are men the prize when it comes to marriage?
(https://i.imgur.com/BCvzTFx.png)
So secular men think they are the prize, and secular women think they are the prize? The problem is that when you come at coupling as who is the prize, then no one wins. It is just a superficial measurement that are competitive, Godless society thinks is important. It is not. Love of God is the most important measurement in finding a spouse.
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So secular men think they are the prize, and secular women think they are the prize? The problem is that when you come at coupling as who is the prize, then no one wins. It is just a superficial measurement that are competitive, Godless society thinks is important. It is not. Love of God is the most important measurement in finding a spouse.
Men are the prize because they initiate courting, the proposal, the marriage, mating and children. Men are responsible for taking care of the family - protection, security, and religious instruction. Women are helpmates. It’s how God designed it. Modern women have inverted God’s hierarchy.
What you describe above ignores God’s authority and the special graces He gives to the husband/father alone.
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Men are the prize because they initiate courting, the proposal, the marriage, mating and children. Men are responsible for taking care of the family - protection, security, and religious instruction. Women are helpmates. It’s how God designed it. Modern women have inverted God’s hierarchy.
What you describe above ignores God’s authority and the special graces He gives to the husband/father alone.
If men are doing all the work, shouldn't they win a prize? The prize analogy makes no sense.
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So secular men think they are the prize, and secular women think they are the prize? The problem is that when you come at coupling as who is the prize, then no one wins. It is just a superficial measurement that are competitive, Godless society thinks is important. It is not. Love of God is the most important measurement in finding a spouse.
Men have resources, more so when they hit their 30s. When women hit their 30s, their attractiveness goes down because of lower fertility, etc. If those 30-year old women were rejecting men in their 20s, the tables have turned for them when those same men are rejecting them for younger women. When women these days can make out like a bandit during the divorce, men have to be extra careful when choosing a wife.
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If men are doing all the work, shouldn't they win a prize? The prize analogy makes no sense.
Sure it does. You just want to accept the truth.
Men are perfectly happy being alone. Women are not. As God told Eve in the garden — Your desire shall be for your husband —. Men do not have the same desire for family that women do. Because men can take care of themselves, while women cannot.
The modern world has to brainwash women to be alone — you’re independent, you’re strong, you don’t need a man — meanwhile the opposite is true. Women need men way, way, way more than men need women. Modern women will be reminded of this when it’s too late.
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Sure it does. You just want to accept the truth.
Men are perfectly happy being alone. Women are not. As God told Eve in the garden — Your desire shall be for your husband —. Men do not have the same desire for family that women do. Because men can take care of themselves, while women cannot.
The modern world has to brainwash women to be alone — you’re independent, you’re strong, you don’t need a man — meanwhile the opposite is true. Women need men way, way, way more than men need women. Modern women will be reminded of this when it’s too late.
The truth? What truth are you talking about? What truth am I not accepting? I think any person who is single has it tough right now. Different people need different things. If a woman needs a man like you say, then why are nuns happy? If you are talking about secular women, then that is a whole different minefield. Is it possible to find a women who is not Catholic and convert her? Yes. I have seen many marriages start that way. Why do you care so much about secular society? Are you able to change it?
My guess is that you are just continuing this conversation because you enjoy saying how wrong I am.
I don't think most men are perfectly happy being alone. Nobody really wants to be alone.
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The truth? What truth are you talking about? What truth am I not accepting? I think any person who is single has it tough right now. Different people need different things. If a woman needs a man like you say, then why are nuns happy? If you are talking about secular women, then that is a whole different minefield. Is it possible to find a women who is not Catholic and convert her? Yes. I have seen many marriages start that way. Why do you care so much about secular society? Are you able to change it?
My guess is that you are just continuing this conversation because you enjoy saying how wrong I am.
I don't think most men are perfectly happy being alone. Nobody really wants to be alone.
Oops.
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The truth? What truth are you talking about? What truth am I not accepting? I think any person who is single has it tough right now. Different people need different things. If a woman needs a man like you say, then why are nuns happy? If you are talking about secular women, then that is a whole different minefield. Is it possible to find a women who is not Catholic and convert her? Yes. I have seen many marriages start that way. Why do you care so much about secular society? Are you able to change it?
My guess is that you are just continuing this conversation because you enjoy saying how wrong I am.
I don't think most men are perfectly happy being alone. Nobody really wants to be alone.
Not related to what I said.
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The truth? What truth are you talking about? What truth am I not accepting?
That women need men more, therefore men are the prize.
Modern women (Trad and non) won’t accept reality, which is why they are so puffed up with pride.
A true woman (Trad or even pagan) who accepts her role as less than a man, both in the natural order and in the spiritual order, is acting like Our Lady, in showing her femininity.
And femininity is what makes a man want to die for his woman. But most women (even Trads) have fallen victim to the demonic deceptions of — happy wife, happy life — that most marriages are doomed, even Trads ones. Trad marriages may endure but they won’t be happy.
Because modern women constantly strive and yearn to act like men, not accepting their place in God’s order. You continue to ignore these truths.
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The truth? What truth are you talking about? What truth am I not accepting? I think any person who is single has it tough right now. Different people need different things. If a woman needs a man like you say, then why are nuns happy? If you are talking about secular women, then that is a whole different minefield. Is it possible to find a women who is not Catholic and convert her? Yes. I have seen many marriages start that way. Why do you care so much about secular society? Are you able to change it?
My guess is that you are just continuing this conversation because you enjoy saying how wrong I am.
I don't think most men are perfectly happy being alone. Nobody really wants to be alone.
The cope is strong in this one
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That women need men more, therefore men are the prize.
Modern women (Trad and non) won’t accept reality, which is why they are so puffed up with pride.
A true woman (Trad or even pagan) who accepts her role as less than a man, both in the natural order and in the spiritual order, is acting like Our Lady, in showing her femininity.
And femininity is what makes a man want to die for his woman. But most women (even Trads) have fallen victim to the demonic deceptions of — happy wife, happy life — that most marriages are doomed, even Trads ones. Trad marriages may endure but they won’t be happy.
Because modern women constantly strive and yearn to act like men, not accepting their place in God’s order. You continue to ignore these truths.
Very well put my brother. The spell of boomerism is starting to break finally.
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The cope is strong in this one
I do not even know what this means.
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That women need men more, therefore men are the prize.
Modern women (Trad and non) won’t accept reality, which is why they are so puffed up with pride.
A true woman (Trad or even pagan) who accepts her role as less than a man, both in the natural order and in the spiritual order, is acting like Our Lady, in showing her femininity.
And femininity is what makes a man want to die for his woman. But most women (even Trads) have fallen victim to the demonic deceptions of — happy wife, happy life — that most marriages are doomed, even Trads ones. Trad marriages may endure but they won’t be happy.
Because modern women constantly strive and yearn to act like men, not accepting their place in God’s order. You continue to ignore these truths.
But do women look at men as if they are a prize? I am not sure you can answer that question, because you are not a woman.
I do not even have to broach this topic because I have my prize (just using your terminology, even though I don't agree with it)
True a women who accepts her place is a treasure.
I think your picture of marriage is a sad one. I do know that many trad marriages are not happy, (I think the married women here on CI probably have better marriages than most). Why is this?
I do not ignore these truths, but keep telling yourself that. I just don't have to worry about them as much because I am not raising daughters and I am not looking for a husband.
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Your response is complete gibberish.
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That women need men more
Yes this truth is found in Scripture because women are saved through childbirth. She absolutely can't do that without a man. And those who become spiritual mothers can't do that without men either because they require the Church.
Men on the other hand don't need women, but they do prefer to have one.
Women never choose. It's the man who chooses. She can only say yes or no. Even in a bad marriage the man is the one who chooses. She's along for the ride.
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Sure it does. You just want to accept the truth.
Men are perfectly happy being alone. Women are not. As God told Eve in the garden — Your desire shall be for your husband —. Men do not have the same desire for family that women do. Because men can take care of themselves, while women cannot.
The modern world has to brainwash women to be alone — you’re independent, you’re strong, you don’t need a man — meanwhile the opposite is true. Women need men way, way, way more than men need women. Modern women will be reminded of this when it’s too late.
Scripture literally says Adam was sad because he had no companion like the other animals and God said it is not good for man to be alone. As a young man I do not want to be alone, but I won't marry the wrong person either.
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Yes this truth is found in Scripture because women are saved through childbirth. She absolutely can't do that without a man. And those who become spiritual mothers can't do that without men either because they require the Church.
Men on the other hand don't need women, but they do prefer to have one.
Women never choose. It's the man who chooses. She can only say yes or no. Even in a bad marriage the man is the one who chooses. She's along for the ride.
This isn't true. Its the woman who also chooses. That's why secular woman choose the top % of men while ignoring the men who choose them.
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This isn't true. It’s the woman who also chooses. That's why secular woman choose the top % of men while ignoring the men who choose them.
No even in modern dating, women chase after the top % of men, but these men aren’t marrying them.
Women choose who they date but men choose who they marry.
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Yes this truth is found in Scripture because women are saved through childbirth. She absolutely can't do that without a man. And those who become spiritual mothers can't do that without men either because they require the Church.
Men on the other hand don't need women, but they do prefer to have one.
Women never choose. It's the man who chooses. She can only say yes or no. Even in a bad marriage the man is the one who chooses. She's along for the ride.
Try being a man and put yourself out there, they get rejected FAR MORE than women do. In a bad marriage, the woman can file for divorce in our society. For men, it's "cheaper to keep her".
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Try being a man and put yourself out there, they get rejected FAR MORE than women do. In a bad marriage, the woman can file for divorce in our society. For men, it's "cheaper to keep her".
Girls always used to get married in their teens, without (((education))) they are far less likely to divorce and become a brainwashed feminist. A slim teenage girl is very cute, just don't be fat ladies, and have long hair. A slim 20s woman is attractive but lacks the appeal of a young lady.
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Girls always used to get married in their teens, without (((education))) they are far less likely to divorce and become a brainwashed feminist. A slim teenage girl is very cute, just don't be fat ladies, and have long hair. A slim 20s woman is attractive but lacks the appeal of a young lady.
Also the younger lady is the more likely she is to be feminine. I've seen trad girls in their 20s with short hair, colored hair, clothes that don't cover the calves/forearms. Younger girls tend to be more humble, meek and quiet, unfortunately many lose this femininity as they grow if the parents don't educate them properly and allow Jєωιѕн indoctrination to get a hold of their minds.
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Girls always used to get married in their teens, without (((education))) they are far less likely to divorce and become a brainwashed feminist. A slim teenage girl is very cute, just don't be fat ladies, and have long hair. A slim 20s woman is attractive but lacks the appeal of a young lady.
As if a 20s woman isn't a young lady? People need to resume life in the real world.
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As if a 20s woman isn't a young lady? People need to resume life in the real world.
So true. It's sad to see young men so focused on looks which are ephemeral. Any person with sense knows that the person's character and a deep spiritual life are the only things that last. Looks fade quickly.
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As if a 20s woman isn't a young lady? People need to resume life in the real world.
By fertility once a woman is 23 she has started her decline, so indeed she isn't young.
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So true. It's sad to see young men so focused on looks which are ephemeral. Any person with sense knows that the person's character and a deep spiritual life are the only things that last. Looks fade quickly.
Younger girls are both more cute and more fertile, and this is the biology that God has created. Having offspring is the primary function of marriage, it's no surprise that woman at their most fertile are also the most appealing to men.
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Younger girls are both more cute and more fertile, and this is the biology that God has created. Having offspring is the primary function of marriage, it's no surprise that woman at their most fertile are also the most appealing to men.
Looks don't last. Males unable to accept that biological fact are the ones most likely to stray.
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As if a 20s woman isn't a young lady? People need to resume life in the real world.
Thank you for this post.
Based on what I have read, I have gathered the following regarding the OP (or a few of these males):
- Want to marry a 17-18 year old female to ensure "peak fertility"
- Will need 1-2 years of courting, so she will be 15-16 when he begins courtship
- Cannot be educated
- Currently mid-20's and will need time to make money (see cost of living/job posts)
- Ideal marriage age difference 37 male to 18 female
This will mean that he needs to start "sourcing" his bride for ten years from now. The bride will have to be 4-6 years old right now.
I have not seen a discussion of how she will be able to have children, and run the household with little to no education. Granted, he will probably state there is some education, but one does not know what since there is no elaboration. There is never ever any mention of her faith and catechism understanding either...
Who will handle the grocery shopping? Bills? Dealing with various repairs/utility situations? Hiring folks for possible work on vehicles/house jobs? What happens if the husband dies?
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As if a 20s woman isn't a young lady? People need to resume life in the real world.
Not by the standards of all of human history. A woman of 23 in most was considered an old maid.
But hey, if you want to make your standards according to a society that kills one third of its infants, allows sodomy, divorce and fornication to run rampant, then be my guest.
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So true. It's sad to see young men so focused on looks which are ephemeral. Any person with sense knows that the person's character and a deep spiritual life are the only things that last. Looks fade quickly.
Thats also true. Men should search for what a woman keeps after her looks fade. however 23 is starting to push it.
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Thank you for this post.
Based on what I have read, I have gathered the following regarding the OP (or a few of these males):
- Want to marry a 17-18 year old female to ensure "peak fertility"
- Will need 1-2 years of courting, so she will be 15-16 when he begins courtship
- Cannot be educated
- Currently mid-20's and will need time to make money (see cost of living/job posts)
- Ideal marriage age difference 37 male to 18 female
This will mean that he needs to start "sourcing" his bride for ten years from now. The bride will have to be 4-6 years old right now.
I have not seen a discussion of how she will be able to have children, and run the household with little to no education. Granted, he will probably state there is some education, but one does not know what since there is no elaboration. There is never ever any mention of her faith and catechism understanding either...
Who will handle the grocery shopping? Bills? Dealing with various repairs/utility situations? Hiring folks for possible work on vehicles/house jobs? What happens if the husband dies?
I know sir you feel very confident in your various assertions. They are all based in a boomer, naive way of looking at the world. A wordlview which is now bearing the true fruits we were warned it would. Catasrophic decline in marriage rates. Divorce through the roof.
-No one said no education. Just not over and unnecessary education.
- 18 in most societies everywhere before the 50s was pretty normal.
As for your lack of discussion on the other topics, all of those are up to their fathers. Boomer fathers have done a pretty poor job so far. Making their daughters as unnattractive as possible to future husbands.
I am not the OP. Just another man with sanity.
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I know sir you feel very confident in your various assertions. They are all based in a boomer, naive way of looking at the world. A wordlview which is now bearing the true fruits we were warned it would. Catasrophic decline in marriage rates. Divorce through the roof.
-No one said no education. Just not over and unnecessary education.
- 18 in most societies everywhere before the 50s was pretty normal.
As for your lack of discussion on the other topics, all of those are up to their fathers. Boomer fathers have done a pretty poor job so far. Making their daughters as unnattractive as possible to future husbands.
I am not the OP. Just another man with sanity.
I don't think you are using the word "assertion" properly. I stated I gathered information. I surmised and then stated I had not seen certain discussions.
Please note,
"Girls always used to get married in their teens, without (((education)))"
As for any comments about me personally- have fun with that.
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I don't think you are using the word "assertion" properly. I stated I gathered information. I surmised and then stated I had not seen certain discussions.
Please note,
"Girls always used to get married in their teens, without (((education)))"
As for any comments about me personally- have fun with that.
Education here obviously refers to Jєωιѕн brainwashing :facepalm: After highschool any more education makes a woman delay marriage and risks feminist brainwashing. It's not something you can deny, someone even posted a graph here earlier showing that education delays marriage in woman.
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I know sir you feel very confident in your various assertions. They are all based in a boomer, naive way of looking at the world. A wordlview which is now bearing the true fruits we were warned it would. Catasrophic decline in marriage rates. Divorce through the roof.
-No one said no education. Just not over and unnecessary education.
- 18 in most societies everywhere before the 50s was pretty normal.
As for your lack of discussion on the other topics, all of those are up to their fathers. Boomer fathers have done a pretty poor job so far. Making their daughters as unnattractive as possible to future husbands.
I am not the OP. Just another man with sanity.
It's true, nothing like seething a woman either in the teens or 20s that is overweight, has short hair, and dresses like a man :clown: what are the parents doing? These are 'trad' families :confused:
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Thank you for this post.
Based on what I have read, I have gathered the following regarding the OP (or a few of these males):
- Want to marry a 17-18 year old female to ensure "peak fertility"
- Always been normal throughout history
- Will need 1-2 years of courting, so she will be 15-16 when he begins courtship
- Courtship should be 1 year MAX, so 16-18 is fine.
- Cannot be educated
This refers to Jєωιѕн brainwashing not basic education, uni and other post highschool stuff is a meme- Currently mid-20's and will need time to make money (see cost of living/job posts)
half true, some guys manage to provide by their mid 20s others by 30s.- Ideal marriage age difference 37 male to 18 female
According to Aristotle, but others have said yes in regards to the womans age but no in regards to the mans age. Personally mid 20s-early 30s for the man is my ideal age for a man (i am a man)[/list]
This will mean that he needs to start "sourcing" his bride for ten years from now. The bride will have to be 4-6 years old right now.
:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
I have not seen a discussion of how she will be able to have children, and run the household with little to no education.
You assumed that (((education))) meant not learning anything
Granted, he will probably state there is some education,
Yes
but one does not know what since there is no elaboration.
:facepalm:
There is never ever any mention of her faith and catechism understanding either...
These things are assumed, of course the husband can always teach her if required
Who will handle the grocery shopping? Bills?
Easy to learn and the girls should have learnt from their parents
Dealing with various repairs/utility situations?
That's the man's responsibility
Hiring folks for possible work on vehicles/house jobs?
Not difficult
What happens if the husband dies?
They have a funeral obviously
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I know sir you feel very confident in your various assertions. They are all based in a boomer, naive way of looking at the world. A wordlview which is now bearing the true fruits we were warned it would. Catasrophic decline in marriage rates. Divorce through the roof.
-No one said no education. Just not over and unnecessary education.
- 18 in most societies everywhere before the 50s was pretty normal.
As for your lack of discussion on the other topics, all of those are up to their fathers. Boomer fathers have done a pretty poor job so far. Making their daughters as unnattractive as possible to future husbands.
I am not the OP. Just another man with sanity.
Peter's response is very boomerish, taking extremes and exaggerated examples plus assuming the worst.
Age is only one thing, I have no baldness in my family which means I would prioritise and older woman (22+) over a younger (teens) if she doesn't have baldness in her family, or at least her fathers side lest my sons become bald.
It was mentioned on CI many times, you bring many things to the table, age is just one of them and have more value to some than others.
Now if we talk about ideals then yes a beautiful slim white teen girl with no family baldness is my ideal.
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Baldness? seriously? In this valley of tears, all the possible weaknesses, congenital defects and hereditary health disorders or flaws a person could have, you're going to make a big deal about baldness of all things?
That is about as superficial as it gets.
As far as I can tell, just about everyone becomes "old" after 60 or 65. Whether it's wrinkly skin, bald, bad memory, bad eyes (if not blind), bad hearing (if not deaf), bad knees, bad back, bad heart, obesity -- something's going to "get you" when you get to late middle age, let alone retirement age.
You're going to die of some illness, if an accident doesn't take you first. Whether it's alzheimers, heart attack, cancer, stroke. Which of those would you prefer? Of course we'd all choose none-of-the-above. But that's not a choice. Welcome to this vale of tears. Form a close relationship with Jesus Christ and His Sorrowful Mother, and death will lose much of its sting.
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I have not seen a discussion of how she will be able to have children, and run the household with little to no education.
Parents should be discussing their children's vocation with them, long before age 18. Also, mothers USED TO teach their girls how to cook, clean, and run a household. Young ladies USED TO know all this stuff by age 18, whether they were going to be married or not.
Even now, I don't see a lot of emphasis in Trad circles on preparing teens for a marriage vocation. The discussion is either -- religious vocation or go to college.
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Baldness? seriously? In this valley of tears, all the possible weaknesses, congenital defects and hereditary health disorders or flaws a person could have, you're going to make a big deal about baldness of all things?
That is about as superficial as it gets.
As far as I can tell, just about everyone becomes "old" after 60 or 65. Whether it's wrinkly skin, bald, bad memory, bad eyes (if not blind), bad hearing (if not deaf), bad knees, bad back, bad heart, obesity -- something's going to "get you" when you get to late middle age, let alone retirement age.
You're going to die of some illness, if an accident doesn't take you first. Whether it's alzheimers, heart attack, cancer, stroke. Which of those would you prefer? Of course we'd all choose none-of-the-above. But that's not a choice. Welcome to this vale of tears. Form a close relationship with Jesus Christ and His Sorrowful Mother, and death will lose much of its sting.
No without baldness may get some recession on their hair line or have some thinness/patches but they don't really go bald. It might sound vain but it's not that far from selecting by race, ultimately it's DNA that can't be lost, both race and baldness are things I have to consider, i have seen how bald men get treated unless they have the right face/skull. I know a few guys balding in their teens/20s, it's rough.
The romans considered baldness a disability btw
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Only terminally online people care about age gaps people in reality don't care. I saw people online arguing about a 18 yr old man with a 17yr old woman being a bad thing because she's too young :facepalm:. These people are delusional. The real issue is there relationship is improper and the man is too young to lead and provide. Instead they complain about teenage being children.
How do people get this brainwashed? Seriously
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Two or three of you sound like inexperienced young males not living in reality…..
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Two or three of you sound like inexperienced young males not living in reality…..
Expand on your take, otherwise it's hot air.
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Not by the standards of all of human history. A woman of 23 in most was considered an old maid.
But hey, if you want to make your standards according to a society that kills one third of its infants, allows sodomy, divorce and fornication to run rampant, then be my guest.
This is time of great apostasy and near the end of the world.
Even more so to look less to looks and more to the soul of the woman. The goodness of her soul is the only quality that matters. It is immature and inexperienced men who say such things. A man that calls a woman old at 23 will not cherish her the way Our Lord commands us to. We all age. Will men cherish a good woman? Thank God if you found one. They are rare creatures. This obsession with extreme youth is poison and points to a short sighted blindness. Are men all now so base that the only value they will perceive in women is the quality that satisfies their lust? “O judgement thou art fled to brutish beasts and men have lost their reason” The west completely deserves the coming chastisement.
“Grace being the soul of thy complexion shall keep the body of it ever fair”
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This is time of great apostasy and near the end of the world.
Even more so to look less to looks and more to the soul of the woman. The goodness of her soul is the only quality that matters. It is immature and inexperienced men who say such things. A man that calls a woman old at 23 will not cherish her the way Our Lord commands us to. We all age. Will men cherish a good woman? Thank God if you found one. They are rare creatures. This obsession with extreme youth is poison and points to a short sighted blindness. Are men all now so base that the only value they will perceive in women is the quality that satisfies their lust? “O judgement thou art fled to brutish beasts and men have lost their reason” The west completely deserves the coming chastisement.
“Grace being the soul of thy complexion shall keep the body of it ever fair”
Youth is a good... Also every woman was young at one point. It makes no sense for a woman not to look for a husband when young.
So yes youth does matter, as each woman had it at some point, same with virginity. So if I am a man who has life experience, is mature and knows how to lead a family, and is financially capable to provide for a stay at home wife and mother, why wouldn't I try to get a woman according to my desires?
Men see working hard and not getting a woman they like as an injustice. Why work hard if you don't get what you want? That's illogical and pointless, you have wasted your time and effort.
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This is time of great apostasy and near the end of the world.
Even more so to look less to looks and more to the soul of the woman. The goodness of her soul is the only quality that matters. It is immature and inexperienced men who say such things. A man that calls a woman old at 23 will not cherish her the way Our Lord commands us to. We all age. Will men cherish a good woman? Thank God if you found one. They are rare creatures. This obsession with extreme youth is poison and points to a short sighted blindness. Are men all now so base that the only value they will perceive in women is the quality that satisfies their lust? “O judgement thou art fled to brutish beasts and men have lost their reason” The west completely deserves the coming chastisement.
“Grace being the soul of thy complexion shall keep the body of it ever fair”
A younger wife is better for the children and the husband. Beauty is not the main factor; youth is. And yes, a woman's piousness is very important.
The rest of your quote about immature men and lust is just off-topic.
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graph here earlier showing that education delays marriage in woman.
Statistical correlation does not equal causation.
For example, women who marry young are less likely to go to college.
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Statistical correlation does not equal causation.
For example, women who marry young are less likely to go to college.
:facepalm::facepalm::jester::jester:
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Someone says:
Education delays marriage in women
You argue:
Statistical correlation does not equal causation.
For example, women who marry young [marriage not delayed] are less likely to go to college [less education].
Are you even hearing yourself? :laugh1:
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Statistical correlation does not equal causation.
For example, women who marry young are less likely to go to college.
Literal reddit comment :fryingpan:
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Saw this comment online
“A man’s 30s aren’t the end of youth — they’re the beginning of real power.”
In your 20s, you're testing, failing, starting over.
You’re often broke, impulsive, and lost in distractions.
Your confidence is still shaky — because your value hasn’t been built yet.
But in your 30s?
You’ve taken enough punches to move smarter.
You’ve sharpened your mind through pain.
You’ve probably been rejected, humbled, broken, and rebuilt.
And now…
You finally have:
A clearer sense of identity
Financial stability (or you're close)
A stronger, more masculine frame
The ability to say no without guilt
Experience that makes you dangerous in the right rooms
This is why women suddenly "notice" you.
This is why opportunities come easier.
This is why you feel more grounded, less reactive, more in control.
Because now you're not a boy trying to be a man.
You're a man who earned himself.
Your 30s aren't the decline — they're the throne.
Sit like a king.
I think it's true provided a man take care of his health and finances. Women on the other hand at 30...
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Then why are women taking over everything and men in their 30’s living in Mama’s basement, rounding up shopping carts in the Walmart parking lot? In their spare time they play video games, watch porn, and eat Takis?
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Then why are women taking over everything and men in their 30’s living in Mama’s basement, rounding up shopping carts in the Walmart parking lot? In their spare time they play video games, watch porn, and eat Takis?
:confused: What is a "Takis"?
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Then why are women taking over everything and men in their 30’s living in Mama’s basement, rounding up shopping carts in the Walmart parking lot? In their spare time they play video games, watch porn, and eat Takis?
Women have always been a privileged class in Christian Europe. Always in general women have always gotten special privileges, like not having to go to war. But the modern world has tricked the ladies into thinking they are oppressed when they are really privileged. Now they have been given even more privileges than before all while still believing they are oppressed.
Modern education is based off the prussian system which designed on obedience, and woman not not natural the head (man is) so this system favors them. Work forces also favor women. We have extreme anti-male and anti-whitemale discrimination in the west. We literally live in a Jєωιѕн matriarchy and everything is falling apart.
A lot of men can see this and have given up, what's the point? Work to become a debt slave for a overpriced home? Work to marry a whore since most women aren't virgins by 18? You can barely get work these days if you don't have Jєωιѕн credentials, even then it's still hard. The basics things that motivate men have been taken away, all while they are demonised as evil patriachs. It's no wonder why men no longer care.
Men built society and now men will allow it to collapse.
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, rounding up shopping carts in the Walmart parking lot?
See you are also part of the problem. It does not matter what job a man has, a job is a job.
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Amazingly in the past the woman's family had to pay the man a dowry if she wanted to get married lol
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Then why are women taking over everything and men in their 30’s living in Mama’s basement, rounding up shopping carts in the Walmart parking lot? In their spare time they play video games, watch porn, and eat Takis?
Why are women making money off OnlyFans, using men on dates to get free stuff and food, and going on welfare as single moms? Oh also getting alimony and child support from her exes? Looks like they even have to work a real job and can just suck men dry. There's a reason why prostitution is the oldest profession.
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Amazingly in the past the woman's family had to pay the man a dowry if she wanted to get married lol
Isn't that mostly a South Asian practice?
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Young people need to get better educated about God’s marriage and purity before God’s marriage.
Purity should be discussed during sermons.
Children don’t need cartoons, video games etc because there are hidden brainwashing.
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Isn't that mostly a South Asian practice?
Ever heard of Saint Nicholas?
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This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it.
It seems that age gaps are fairly situational. A man isn’t wrong to want a wife who is fit for childbearing and who is largely untainted by the world. Such a woman will have the energy to be an excellent mother and the inclination to be a doting wife.
It’s no secret that many women are often attracted to men older than they are and that is natural as well. It’s not wrong for a young woman to look at a man and observe his mature and confident bearing, evaluate his financial situation, and to understand his willingness to work hard with reliability, for if she is to fulfill her natural calling wife/motherhood she will need someone that is ready and willing to provide for her and care for her and the children right out of the gate. Often times a man older than is the one who checks those boxes.
Having said that, it is possible for young men in their very early 20’s to do the same and given a choice the woman will probably pick the young man.
I live in a very rural part of the USA. As in, the nearest Walmart is about 1.5 hours away. We are a farming community and so are all of the other towns around here. It is very common for “highschool sweethearts” to marry. In fact, most all of the moms in our homeschool co-op are that. They dated a guy 2 or 3 years older than them, he graduated, worked his tail off for a year then married her. And if the guy was the son of a farmer, he’d go ahead and marry her when he was 18 because he was already set with a steady job and a house and a piece of land given to him by his father. Most of them have 3 or 4 kids and counting and they aren’t even Catholic.
Also coming from a rural community it’s not uncommon to see young men of 16 years old who were homeschooled out there working their own business, saving for their own house, and putting money away. They were raised well, taught skills and work ethic from their fathers and are very goal oriented. I think there’s a lot that people can learn from farmers and what a lot of the world calls “rednecks”.
Trad dads need to be teaching their sons masculine skills, instilling in them work ethic and practical life planning skills with the purpose of having their sons ready to marry and provide for a wife. That is so hard to do when dad is at work 50 hours a week and wants to relax when he comes home. Farmers and tradesmen can have their sons working with them and learning from them age 4 and up. With that said, why not encourage young trad boys in these vocational fields. I think it’s great for the upbringing of children.
At the same time, women need to be teaching their daughters all the skills. She needs to learn how to love and respect her future husband by watching mom. Cooking, canning, gardening, frugality, sewing, mending, fiber arts, and how to be wise in spending the family $$.
While men mature by action, independence, challenges, goals and achieving, young ladies only need a good home environment to bloom into a lovely young woman who can’t wait to nurture a family of her own. She doesn’t need higher education to fulfill her hearts desire, which is to be loved and cared for, and to bear children to her husband and nurture them. How beautiful it is! How wonderful God’s design!
We can talk about whose fault feminism is, we can rail against and argue with each other but the real work needs to happen one day, 1 moment at a time in the bosom of the home, the domestic church. Parents have a grave duty to raise our children well, to prepare them to be great husbands and wives because souls depend on it.
I got off track. I guess I’m saying that age gaps aren’t just ideal or not ideal for all situations, rather, they are used practically. A man wants a woman who is for to bearing and raising children while being docile, and a woman wants a man to love her and provide for her.
Given the modern atmosphere, a man in his 30’s looking for a teenage wife will run into a multitude of problems. In very few cases I think that kind of age gap would go well these days. Girls of 16,17,18 are not nearly as mature as girls of that age back then. Even trad girls often lack what is needed to marry young because they haven’t been raised with that in mind. They’ve been raised to get their education. For this reason I really do feel for the men looking for a wife in their 30’s and 40’s. These are hard times we live in. On the same token, there are some excellent trad women in their late 20’s that would make wonderful wives and are lamenting their circuмstances as well. Some prayerful consideration of looking outside of your ideals on age might bring you to a wonderful god fearing spouse!
This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it.
It seems that age gaps are fairly situational. A man isn’t wrong to want a wife who is fit for childbearing and who is largely untainted by the world. Such a woman will have the energy to be an excellent mother and the inclination to be a doting wife.
It’s no secret that many women are often attracted to men older than they are and that is natural as well. It’s not wrong for a young woman to look at a man and observe his mature and confident bearing, evaluate his financial situation, and to understand his willingness to work hard with reliability, for if she is to fulfill her natural calling wife/motherhood she will need someone that is ready and willing to provide for her and care for her and the children right out of the gate. Often times a man older than is the one who checks those boxes.
Having said that, it is possible for young men in their very early 20’s to do the same and given a choice the woman will probably pick the young man.
I live in a very rural part of the USA. As in, the nearest Walmart is about 1.5 hours away. We are a farming community and so are all of the other towns around here. It is very common for “highschool sweethearts” to marry. In fact, most all of the moms in our homeschool co-op are that. They dated a guy 2 or 3 years older than them, he graduated, worked his tail off for a year then married her. And if the guy was the son of a farmer, he’d go ahead and marry her when he was 18 because he was already set with a steady job and a house and a piece of land given to him by his father. Most of them have 3 or 4 kids and counting and they aren’t even Catholic.
Also coming from a rural community it’s not uncommon to see young men of 16 years old who were homeschooled out there working their own business, saving for their own house, and putting money away. They were raised well, taught skills and work ethic from their fathers and are very goal oriented. I think there’s a lot that people can learn from farmers and what a lot of the world calls “rednecks”.
Trad dads need to be teaching their sons masculine skills, instilling in them work ethic and practical life planning skills with the purpose of having their sons ready to marry and provide for a wife. That is so hard to do when dad is at work 50 hours a week and wants to relax when he comes home. Farmers and tradesmen can have their sons working with them and learning from them age 4 and up. With that said, why not encourage young trad boys in these vocational fields. I think it’s great for the upbringing of children.
At the same time, women need to be teaching their daughters all the skills. She needs to learn how to love and respect her future husband by watching mom. Cooking, canning, gardening, frugality, sewing, mending, fiber arts, and how to be wise in spending the family $$.
While men mature by action, independence, challenges, goals and achieving, young ladies only need a good home environment to bloom into a lovely young woman who can’t wait to nurture a family of her own. She doesn’t need higher education to fulfill her hearts desire, which is to be loved and cared for, and to bear children to her husband and nurture them. How beautiful it is! How wonderful God’s design!
We can talk about whose fault feminism is, we can rail against and argue with each other but the real work needs to happen one day, 1 moment at a time in the bosom of the home, the domestic church. Parents have a grave duty to raise our children well, to prepare them to be great husbands and wives because souls depend on it.
I got off track. I guess I’m saying that age gaps aren’t ideal or not ideal, they are used practically. A man wants a woman who is fit for bearing and raising children while being docile, and a woman wants a man to love her and provide for her.
Given the modern atmosphere, a man in his 30’s looking for a teenage wife will run into a multitude of problems. In very few cases I think that kind of age gap would go well these days. Girls of 16,17,18 are not nearly as mature as girls of that age back then. Even trad girls often lack what is needed to marry young because they haven’t been raised with that in mind. They’ve been raised to get their education. For this reason I really do feel for the men looking for a wife in their 30’s and 40’s. These are hard times we live in. On the same token, there are some excellent trad women in their late 20’s that would make wonderful wives and are lamenting their circuмstances as well. Some prayerful consideration of looking outside of your ideals on age might bring you to a wonderful god fearing spouse!
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This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it.
It seems that age gaps are fairly situational. A man isn’t wrong to want a wife who is fit for childbearing and who is largely untainted by the world. Such a woman will have the energy to be an excellent mother and the inclination to be a doting wife.
It’s no secret that many women are often attracted to men older than they are and that is natural as well. It’s not wrong for a young woman to look at a man and observe his mature and confident bearing, evaluate his financial situation, and to understand his willingness to work hard with reliability, for if she is to fulfill her natural calling wife/motherhood she will need someone that is ready and willing to provide for her and care for her and the children right out of the gate. Often times a man older than is the one who checks those boxes.
Having said that, it is possible for young men in their very early 20’s to do the same and given a choice the woman will probably pick the young man.
I live in a very rural part of the USA. As in, the nearest Walmart is about 1.5 hours away. We are a farming community and so are all of the other towns around here. It is very common for “highschool sweethearts” to marry. In fact, most all of the moms in our homeschool co-op are that. They dated a guy 2 or 3 years older than them, he graduated, worked his tail off for a year then married her. And if the guy was the son of a farmer, he’d go ahead and marry her when he was 18 because he was already set with a steady job and a house and a piece of land given to him by his father. Most of them have 3 or 4 kids and counting and they aren’t even Catholic.
Also coming from a rural community it’s not uncommon to see young men of 16 years old who were homeschooled out there working their own business, saving for their own house, and putting money away. They were raised well, taught skills and work ethic from their fathers and are very goal oriented. I think there’s a lot that people can learn from farmers and what a lot of the world calls “rednecks”.
Trad dads need to be teaching their sons masculine skills, instilling in them work ethic and practical life planning skills with the purpose of having their sons ready to marry and provide for a wife. That is so hard to do when dad is at work 50 hours a week and wants to relax when he comes home. Farmers and tradesmen can have their sons working with them and learning from them age 4 and up. With that said, why not encourage young trad boys in these vocational fields. I think it’s great for the upbringing of children.
At the same time, women need to be teaching their daughters all the skills. She needs to learn how to love and respect her future husband by watching mom. Cooking, canning, gardening, frugality, sewing, mending, fiber arts, and how to be wise in spending the family $$.
While men mature by action, independence, challenges, goals and achieving, young ladies only need a good home environment to bloom into a lovely young woman who can’t wait to nurture a family of her own. She doesn’t need higher education to fulfill her hearts desire, which is to be loved and cared for, and to bear children to her husband and nurture them. How beautiful it is! How wonderful God’s design!
We can talk about whose fault feminism is, we can rail against and argue with each other but the real work needs to happen one day, 1 moment at a time in the bosom of the home, the domestic church. Parents have a grave duty to raise our children well, to prepare them to be great husbands and wives because souls depend on it.
I got off track. I guess I’m saying that age gaps aren’t ideal or not ideal, they are used practically. A man wants a woman who is for to bearing and raising children while being docile, and a woman wants a man to love her and provide for her.
Given the modern atmosphere, a man in his 30’s looking for a teenage wife will run into a multitude of problems. In very few cases I think that kind of age gap would go well these days. Girls of 16,17,18 are not nearly as mature as girls of that age back then. Even trad girls often lack what is needed to marry young because they haven’t been raised with that in mind. They’ve been raised to get their education. For this reason I really do feel for the men looking for a wife in their 30’s and 40’s. These are hard times we live in. On the same token, there are some excellent trad women in their late 20’s that would make wonderful wives and are lamenting their circuмstances as well. Some prayerful consideration of looking outside of your ideals on age might bring you to a wonderful god fearing spouse!
Well said!
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I’m sorry, I’m not sure what happened, but for some reason my post showed up twice in the same post and I can’t edit it. :facepalm:
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This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it...
One of the best Cathinfo posts in recent times! So true! Thank you! :cowboy: :pray:
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Wow I can't believe reddit was based for once. If he can do it, so can I.
(https://i.imgur.com/SiPKrBI.png)
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"Women should marry when they are about eighteen years of age, and men at seven and thirty (37); then they are in the prime of life, and the decline in the powers of both will coincide."
-Aristotle - Politics, Book 7, paragraph 2. ( https://history.hanover.edu/courses/excerpts/165aristotle2.html )