Author Topic: Difficulty in Obeying Husband (Read 15333 times)

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #180 on:** August 02, 2013, 03:31:10 PM »

Quote from: Guest

OP:

I think consulting a priest if possible is usually the best course of action in most cases of this nature.

Would you mind sharing with us what he advised you to do?

He said that if a husband is contrite, no matter what he has done, it is our duty to forgive and that indiscretions on the part of the husband in no way causes him to lose his authority or headship of the family. Bad or abusive husbands are still the leader and the head of the wife. Marriage is for better or worse and many marriages are "worse". He stated that this is a great suffering for me to bear for the sake of my children and I will be judged by God if I put myself or my feelings first. Wives are to keep the marriage and family intact at all costs (except if safety is a concern). Placing our trust in God, all our needs will be met by Our Lord even those that a weak husband will fail to provide.

He also said that lack of love does not invalidate the marriage or form a basis for separation. Marriage is based on right action, not romantic feelings.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #181 on:** August 02, 2013, 03:57:09 PM »

Quote

women are not cattle to be beaten into submission.

No one here said a man should beat his wife.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #182 on:** August 02, 2013, 04:10:36 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
OP:

I think consulting a priest if possible is usually the best course of action in most cases of this nature.

Would you mind sharing with us what he advised you to do?

He said that if a husband is contrite, no matter what he has done, it is our duty to forgive and that indiscretions on the part of the husband in no way causes him to lose his authority or headship of the family. Bad or abusive husbands are still the leader and the head of the wife. Marriage is for better or worse and many marriages are "worse". He stated that this is a great suffering for me to bear for the sake of my children and I will be judged by God if I put myself or my feelings first. Wives are to keep the marriage and family intact at all costs (except if safety is a concern). Placing our trust in God, all our needs will be met by Our Lord even those that a weak husband will fail to provide.

He also said that lack of love does not invalidate the marriage or form a basis for separation. Marriage is based on right action, not romantic feelings.

Countless problems would be avoided, if men and women entered into the married state with proper dispositions, not influenced by passion or silly feelings, but by the right ideas of the DUTIES of the state of marriage and of its noble and HOLY purpose.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #183 on:** August 02, 2013, 04:15:10 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
Quote from: Guest
OP:

I think consulting a priest if possible is usually the best course of action in most cases of this nature.

Would you mind sharing with us what he advised you to do?

He said that if a husband is contrite, no matter what he has done, it is our duty to forgive and that indiscretions on the part of the husband in no way causes him to lose his authority or headship of the family. Bad or abusive husbands are still the leader and the head of the wife. Marriage is for better or worse and many marriages are "worse". He stated that this is a great suffering for me to bear for the sake of my children and I will be judged by God if I put myself or my feelings first. Wives are to keep the marriage and family intact at all costs (except if safety is a concern). Placing our trust in God, all our needs will be met by Our Lord even those that a weak husband will fail to provide.

He also said that lack of love does not invalidate the marriage or form a basis for separation. Marriage is based on right action, not romantic feelings.

Countless problems would be avoided, if men and women entered into the married state with proper dispositions, not influenced by passion or silly feelings, but by the right ideas of the DUTIES of the state of marriage and of its noble and HOLY purpose.

Good post!

:applause:

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #184 on:** August 02, 2013, 04:30:01 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
Quote from: Guest
OP:

I think consulting a priest if possible is usually the best course of action in most cases of this nature.

Would you mind sharing with us what he advised you to do?

He said that if a husband is contrite, no matter what he has done, it is our duty to forgive and that indiscretions on the part of the husband in no way causes him to lose his authority or headship of the family. Bad or abusive husbands are still the leader and the head of the wife. Marriage is for better or worse and many marriages are "worse". He stated that this is a great suffering for me to bear for the sake of my children and I will be judged by God if I put myself or my feelings first. Wives are to keep the marriage and family intact at all costs (except if safety is a concern). Placing our trust in God, all our needs will be met by Our Lord even those that a weak husband will fail to provide.

He also said that lack of love does not invalidate the marriage or form a basis for separation. Marriage is based on right action, not romantic feelings.

Countless problems would be avoided, if men and women entered into the married state with proper dispositions, not influenced by passion or silly feelings, but by the right ideas of the DUTIES of the state of marriage and of its noble and HOLY purpose.

OP here: YES!!!!!!!!

Jaynek · « **Reply #185 on:** August 14, 2013, 08:59:42 PM »

Quote from: Guest

I am the OP. It was not my intent to share tips on how to subvert husbands but rather learn how to grow in the virtue of meekness and become a true helpmeet.

I'm sorry the men of the forum have been offended by this thread. I really just wanted discussion on how to overcome aversion to submission. Do not attack me because I am struggling. Rather show compassion for my attempts to do what is right.

Something that helps me a lot is recognizing that obedience is a channel of grace and an opportunity for spiritual growth. It is a great blessing to be a wife and be in a position of being obliged to submit to one's husband.

I think that part of the aversion to submission comes from secular culture which portrays it as a very negative thing. So we need to train ourselves to understand how positive it is. Whenever I meditate on the fifth Joyful Mystery, I think about what Scripture says happened after Our Lady and St. Joseph found Our Lord in the Temple. Luke 2:51:

Quote

And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them.

Our Lord, Himself, was submissive within family roles of authority. So, when I obey my husband, it is a way for me to imitate Our Lord. It is a great blessing and privilege, not some sort of imposition or oppression. I thank God that I am a wife and therefore have opportunities to obey my husband.

Obviously I am talking about genuine submission and obedience, not manipulation or trickery to get my own way. The spiritual benefits of obedience come about precisely because it is a form of death to the self. It is an act of mortification in which I renounce "my own way".

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #186 on:** August 14, 2013, 10:20:25 PM »

Yes, it's all about virtue. We live in Christ when we live in truly virtuous deeds, the more of these we can do, the more our lives are ones with treasure in Heaven and on earth.

We can always be happy about doing something truly good. :smile:

Author Topic: Difficulty in Obeying Husband (Read 15333 times)

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