Confused and worried,
Hebrews 5,6 speaks about if you repent and then turn away from God, there will be no more sacrifice left for you from heaven and it would have been better for you to have not know the truth.
I have repented and come back many times. I am back. For good.
I am worred, I've messed up.
This is why Jesus instituted the sacrament of confession. He knew best what we need. When you mess up again then get up and go to confession.
I will pray for you.