I do not know if this helps. I am reading St. Francis de Sales "The Art of Loving God".
Basically, it is that God made you for Himself. Just being conscience of that fact is very peaceful. No words, no prayers...just the simple fact that He made you is enough. If you can muster that sense at various times of the day you will get into the habit of contentment. If you keep TRYING to muster it...that is not what I mean.
You are alive because God loved you and made you full stop.
Another part is...that of course we want to feel that god loves us...but in actual fact that feeling can tempt us to stay there. It is self-love. We ALL have it, and it is good to recognise it, not to judge ourselves with, but to move on. If we judge ourselves and suffer because we have failed ..then that is prideful and self-love.
He gives this simple advice:
"And even if you do not FEEL such confidence, you must still not fail to make acts of confidence, saying to our Lord, "Although, dear Lord, I have no feeling of confidence in Thee, I know all the same that Thou art my God, that I am wholly Thine, and that I have no hope but in Thy goodness; therefore I abandon myself entirely into Thy hands. (This is an act of the will...do not expect to feel anything..Donkath)
"It is always in our power to make these acts;; although there may be difficulty, there is never impossibility. It is on these occasions and amid these difficulties that we ought to show fidelity to our Lord. For although we may make these acts without fervor and without satisfaction to ourselves, we must not distress ourselves about that; our Lord loves them better thus.
"And do not say that you repeat them indeed but only with your lips for if the heart did not will it, the lips would not utter a word. Having done this, be at peace, and without dwelling at all upon your trouble, speak to our Lord of other things."
You have expressed yourself very well, and humbly in the OP. You have expressed what we all go through. You are not alone. And no doubt those reading through your OP will include you in the prayers we continually offer for one another.
That is the Mystical Body of Christ at work, so you can offer your thoughts as prayers if you unite them with the rest of us, at the same time visualising that they are being offered to the Father through the Son at Masses being said throughout the world.