OP here, I wanted to give an update.
I found some very special probiotics formulated for really sensitive individuals that are actually helping me significantly, I am so grateful to God and to everyone here who has prayed for us. A lot of my symptoms have calmed down and I am able to fulfill my duties with greater ease than before. Ashwaghanda has also helped me feel supported in my adrenals, I can handle stress better.
I’ve been trying to eat good fats and protein more consistently and I’m feeling better, and my hormones are doing better too. I think whatever infertility I may have had is healing, since my hormones are improving (I assumed I was infertile since I have never been able to get pregnant). My husband on the other hand has an actual condition that requires surgery to fix.
Our air filter which gets rid of a lot of toxins, including mold spores has left me feeling way less agitated and I can fall asleep with ease! I can’t believe it. I feel so much calmer with the clean air.
I used to wake up at 3-4 am on a regular basis with these horrendous stomach pains that would make me tremble like crazy and keep me awake for awhile, leaving me exhausted the next day. The probiotics and the no-plant GAPS diet have been really soothing on my digestive system. I think my problems have been related to histamines, because eating lamb instead of beef has also given me relief. Chicken has given my husband and I more digestive issues, we have found ground beef is the best for him.
Unfortunately my husband’s migraines are becoming more frequent and worse, sometimes causing blurred vision in his peripheral which worries me a lot, since it happened on his way driving home from work. Then one week recently he had no migraines at all. It’s very up and down, just like his mood and how he treats me. I do not wish to judge him, but I cannot help but notice some things (see below).
I cannot pinpoint what the cause of his moodiness and migraines are. Salt water and magnesium seem to help, but sometimes they do not. I don’t know how to help him manage his stress, it seems like he can’t.
He goes from 0 to 100 so quickly, in terms of being calm to angry or snappy. There’s no inner struggle to be patient that I can observe, and I used to see it when we were courting. I know he can do it because he has done it in front of my family to please me, in the past, and this when he had worse health. But apparently it’s not enough if it’s done for God and me at home where no one is there to witness it. Afterwards he says how exhausting being charitable is. Well, virtue isn’t for the weak! His parents never tried to discipline his anger, they let him have his way, they’re very passive. Their efforts are too gentle and if he doesn’t hear a quiet entreaty they just quit and let him do what he wants. I fear he’s too far gone now. He’s even told me he may be too far gone. I know the grace of God can accomplish anything, and I pray for this every day.
He’s a very hard worker and always tells me he wants to work to provide for me, so I don’t understand why he can’t find it in himself to be kind. Sometimes he can, but other times he can be quite cruel. I do not feel safe with him, I do not trust him. I love and forgive him, but there is no trust.
I feel like I live in a constant fog where I don’t know what’s going on or what to do, his behaviour leaves me in the state of shock most of the time, by the time I begin to think of what to say or do to console him, he’s onto something else that’s angering him, or gets distracted because for example, I placed a picture frame an inch out of place on an end table that I dusted, and things like that.
He has explained to me that he is so particular about our furniture and interior design because it is the only place he can control and find beauty, since the world is so ugly. But to me this indicates a weak interior life (despite all the prayers he says and spiritual reading he does) because as we all know, happiness does not consist in our external surroundings. A lot of the saints had really bare rooms and weren’t depressed. I have as well and it never bothered me, I know other people who were not bothered by that either, who were devout. When one has Jesus, one has everything. I understand the need for a lovely home to come to, but his obsession is quite extreme.
Almost every time I sit down he’s like “be careful!” for fear I’m going to break the chair. I move slightly and it makes a little creek because it’s old, and he gets disquieted because of that. There are many other examples I could give of things like this, but I do not want to make this too long (I may have already reached that point, pardon me!).
How does on deal with such a person?
His birthday is coming up as well, how do I make it special for him since we are limited with our diet and what we can do? I have thought of writing him a poem in a nice card, but I feel like it’s not good enough.
Topic: Husband troubles (Read 25420 times)