Author Topic: Husband doesnt wish wife a Happy Mothers Day (Read 3083 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** May 08, 2016, 03:31:24 PM »

Kids are grown and husband thinks the grown kids are the only ones that need to participate in Mother's Day now. Should the wife be having hurt feelings about
this?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #1 on:** May 08, 2016, 03:52:13 PM »

She's his wife, not his mother.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #2 on:** May 08, 2016, 06:16:05 PM »

She should not have hurt feelings about this.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** May 08, 2016, 06:45:25 PM »

So here's what you do: Ignore Father's Day. If he's not upset then you know he really thinks only kids should acknowledge. If he gets upset that you didn't do anything for him then you know he ignored Mother's Day to hurt your feelings.

Sometimes wives are more upset because husband don't reciprocate our efforts for the relationship. Husbands usually like you better when you ignore them. I don't know why that is.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #4 on:** May 09, 2016, 12:53:10 PM »

Many men are just not into the trivial holidays. Mother day while good for appreciation is still just a mad dash for a cheesy gift and card and online bragging.

Unless it's out of character, don't waste emotions on it. If the husband believes the children themselves should do something, that's sound reasoning.

JPM · « **Reply #5 on:** May 09, 2016, 01:33:27 PM »

Quote from: Guest

So here's what you do: Ignore Father's Day. If he's not upset then you know he really thinks only kids should acknowledge. If he gets upset that you didn't do anything for him then you know he ignored Mother's Day to hurt your feelings.

Sometimes wives are more upset because husband don't reciprocate our efforts for the relationship. Husbands usually like you better when you ignore them. I don't know why that is.

I hope this puts an end to the stereotype that women can be manipulative and play games.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** May 09, 2016, 03:41:42 PM »

Quote from: JPM

Quote from: Guest
So here's what you do: Ignore Father's Day. If he's not upset then you know he really thinks only kids should acknowledge. If he gets upset that you didn't do anything for him then you know he ignored Mother's Day to hurt your feelings.

Sometimes wives are more upset because husband don't reciprocate our efforts for the relationship. Husbands usually like you better when you ignore them. I don't know why that is.

I hope this puts an end to the stereotype that women can be manipulative and play games.

That's not manipulation. It's just testing the spirit.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** May 09, 2016, 04:10:55 PM »

My H believes the same. He calls his mother (I always send a card), and he will usually tell me, "Happy Mom's Day." But nothing else. Our kids took us out to breakfast and gave me a card and a little gift basket.

It ebbs and flows with regard to anniversary or birthdays. Some years something, other years nothing. He wanted to do something for our 25th anniversary, last year, but we couldn't get away. But it's ok. I'm learning to be at peace no matter what happens. He does a lot for me throughout the year and I try to count my blessings.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** May 10, 2016, 05:31:17 AM »

Quote from: Guest

Kids are grown and husband thinks the grown kids are the only ones that need to participate in Mother's Day now. Should the wife be having hurt feelings about
this?

Before we answer, one background question needs to be answered:

Is the wife current in her "marriage debt" ?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #9 on:** May 10, 2016, 08:14:47 AM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: JPM
Quote from: Guest
So here's what you do: Ignore Father's Day. If he's not upset then you know he really thinks only kids should acknowledge. If he gets upset that you didn't do anything for him then you know he ignored Mother's Day to hurt your feelings.

Sometimes wives are more upset because husband don't reciprocate our efforts for the relationship. Husbands usually like you better when you ignore them. I don't know why that is.

I hope this puts an end to the stereotype that women can be manipulative and play games.

...It's just testing the spirit.

Is that what manipulation is called these days?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #10 on:** May 10, 2016, 02:01:52 PM »

OP here.

My husband tends to not bother much with my birthday and our anniversary is a lot of times just another day. (I don't look for gifts from him, but what I want is that I am special to him, and that I am an important part of his life )

I am not a manipulative person and I am normally affectionate, but my husband can withhold love and emotional support towards me. He can be quite cold (as in giving me the silent treatment) and razor sharp. He says he loves me, but it is hard to talk to him about how I feel or some other issues without him getting angry or just blowing it off. It is very frustrating for me and depressing.

One of the things that attracted me to him in the first place was that he was a good listener and was warm hearted, kind and patient!! I do not see that side of him as much anymore...at least towards me.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #11 on:** May 10, 2016, 02:27:47 PM »

It sounds like either 1) he's grumpy because of outside influences or 2) he's grumpy because of you.

Instead of you "talking about how you feel" (which usually women convey in a complaining way, which just adds stress) I would ask what's bothering him and why he's stressed out. Tell him you're sorry if you've caused it and, if he doesn't respond, leave it at that and tell him your open to listening when he's ready to talk. Then, wait. Could take a couple of days. In the meantime, don't talk about any problems or issues, if you can help it.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #12 on:** May 10, 2016, 04:51:27 PM »

Wow, I'm really sorry. That must hurt a lot. I'd tell him it hurt your feelings and see what he tells you. Think before you respond to whatever it is he has to say. If what he says hurts even more, pray before you reply. Maybe even talk to your priest for advice.

Mark 79 · « **Reply #13 on:** May 10, 2016, 07:46:06 PM »

Quote from: Guest

OP here.

My husband tends to not bother much with my birthday and our anniversary is a lot of times just another day. (I don't look for gifts from him, but what I want is that I am special to him, and that I am an important part of his life )

I am not a manipulative person and I am normally affectionate, but my husband can withhold love and emotional support towards me. He can be quite cold (as in giving me the silent treatment) and razor sharp. He says he loves me, but it is hard to talk to him about how I feel or some other issues without him getting angry or just blowing it off. It is very frustrating for me and depressing.

One of the things that attracted me to him in the first place was that he was a good listener and was warm hearted, kind and patient!! I do not see that side of him as much anymore...at least towards me.

Then be special, not an accountant. Stop yammering online and spend that wasted time doing something special for him.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #14 on:** May 11, 2016, 04:05:04 AM »

I have had similar experiences. Sometimes we have to adjust, over time, to the different way of behaving. My husband never acknowleges commercial "feasts". Has never wished me Happy Mothrs Day in over 30 years, neither will he celebrate Christmas in the conventional way. It was strange and hard at first.

How long are you married?

Author Topic: Husband doesnt wish wife a Happy Mothers Day (Read 3083 times)

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