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Problem with confession
« on: December 21, 2021, 07:31:47 AM »
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  • Having reached an age that could see me pass away at any time, I have resolved never to sin again, never to tell a lie or steal a newspaper or damage another's property etc. My problem now are the conditions of confession. AS a sinner I always found confession difficult, telling the priest the details of the sins one committed since one's last confession. Accordingly, I would only go maybe every 6 months. I once told a priest outside of the confessional of this problem and he said it was a sin of pride. I never thought of it as such, more a case of severe embarrassment.

    Anyway, every week I see the other persons my age going to weekly confession and they seem to love it. I keep wondering what sins they are confessing because in a confession you have to tell the sin you are in confession for. Telling the priest you are not aware of any deliberate sin, but that you may have committed a sin of ommission, or thought, doesn't seem to me to be a proper confession.

    Having explained my problem, could anyone tell me what to say now in confession now that I am trying not to sin again. I do worry about sins of the mind. God made women to attract men. He knew what He was doing and did so to perfgection. Is it a deliberate sin of the mind then when one sees a beautiful woman to admire her simply as as a woman created by God to be attractive to God. The mind does so, immediately. Such occassions last seconds and there is nothing you can do to stop having these moments. But are they sins? They are not deliberate, they are built into the human makeup.

    I do want to go to confession more often, especially to fulfill the First Saturday devotion. So, wheras I always ask for forgiveness of the sins of the past, I have to name a sin not confessed since my last confession. So, what do others of my late age confess?


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #1 on: December 21, 2021, 07:33:26 AM »
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  • Having reached an age that could see me pass away at any time, I have resolved never to sin again, never to tell a lie or steal a newspaper or damage another's property etc. My problem now are the conditions of confession. AS a sinner I always found confession difficult, telling the priest the details of the sins one committed since one's last confession. Accordingly, I would only go maybe every 6 months. I once told a priest outside of the confessional of this problem and he said it was a sin of pride. I never thought of it as such, more a case of severe embarrassment.

    Anyway, every week I see the other persons my age going to weekly confession and they seem to love it. I keep wondering what sins they are confessing because in a confession you have to tell the sin you are in confession for. Telling the priest you are not aware of any deliberate sin, but that you may have committed a sin of ommission, or thought, doesn't seem to me to be a proper confession.

    Having explained my problem, could anyone tell me what to say now in confession now that I am trying not to sin again. I do worry about sins of the mind. God made women to attract men. He knew what He was doing and did so to perfection. Is it a deliberate sin of the mind then when one sees a beautiful woman to admire her simply as as a woman created by God to be attractive to God. The mind does so, immediately. Such occassions last seconds and there is nothing you can do to stop having these moments. But are they sins? They are not deliberate, they are built into the human makeup.

    I do want to go to confession more often, especially to fulfill the First Saturday devotion. So, wheras I always ask for forgiveness of the sins of the past, I have to name a sin not confessed since my last confession. So, what do others of my late age confess?


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #2 on: December 21, 2021, 08:38:33 AM »
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  • I confess weekly. I haven't had mortal sins (grave matter, full knowledge, consciously willed) in years. But I do have habits that lead me to sin, venially, often. For example, getting angry with someone over something stupid, gossiping about someone, looking at or thinking about a woman in an impure way, buying and selling unnecessarily on Holy Days. When I realized I was doing these things, I stopped doing them immediately and usually said a prayer. But nonetheless, objectively, I did something sinful. But they were venial sins because they were not fully intentional or not of a grave matter or I did not understand the degree of sinfulness. 

    By examining my conscience weekly and confessing those venial sins, I have developed a heightened awareness of sin so that I recognize them earlier and hopefully, with time, will be able to prevent them altogether. 

    If you are finding that you can't think of any sins to confess, I suggest you read St. Alphonsus's Moral Theology:


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #3 on: December 21, 2021, 10:37:44 AM »
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  • "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, my last confession was one week ago.

    In that time I have not committed any mortal sins father, but I need the graces so for all the sins of my past life, especially for the sin(s) of "X" (example: here you say whatever the mortal sin - of stealing, or lying, or impurity, missing Mass, pride, etc. etc.) I am heartily sorry, please forgive me father."

    Combine frequent confession with praying 15 decades of the rosary daily - this is a must.


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    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #4 on: December 21, 2021, 07:06:25 PM »
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  • An Examination of Conscience
    The First Commandment
        Have you doubted in matters of faith? Consulted fortune-tellers? Believed in dreams? Made use of superstitious practices? Gone to places of false worship and taken an active part in the religious services of a false church? Belonged to Masons, Communists, of some other forbidden society? Read anti-Catholic books or papers? Neglected religious instruction? Omitted religious duties through fear or ridicule? Murmured against God, or despaired of His mercy? Have you rashly presumed on His goodness in committing sin? Did you pray in time of temptation? For your family? Have you neglected your daily prayers? Have you recited them carelessly, without devotion, thoughtlessly? Have you missed spending a reasonable amount of time in thanksgiving after Holy Communion? Have you been irreverent toward God, sacred persons, places or things? Have you associated with people who might have a bad influence upon your life? Have you refused to place signs of faith in your home, such as a crucifix, picture of the Blessed Mother or the saints?
    The Second Commandment
        Have you taken the name of God in vain? Laughed at the profane use of the name of God or irreverent speech by others? Given bad example to children by such speech in their presence, or by neglecting to correct a child when irreverent or profane language was used? Spoken disrespectfully of the saints or holy things? Allowed others in your household to do the same? Sworn falsely, that is, called upon God to witness the truth of what you were saying, when you were in reality telling a lie? Sworn rashly, or in slight and trivial matters? Have you cursed persons, animals, or things? Have you blasphemed, that is, used insulting language expressing contempt for God, His saints or sacred things? Have you caused others to do so? Have you criticized God's mercy or justice, or murmured against His providence?
    The Third Commandment
        Have you assisted at Mass on Sundays and Holydays? Have you been late for Mass? Behaved properly in Church? Have you performed or commanded unnecessary servile work, bought or sold without necessity, or in any other way - gambling, drinking - profaned these holy days?
    The Fourth Commandment
        Have you shown due honor, love, gratitude and obedience to your parents? Have you shown due honor and obedience to your pastors and other lawful superiors? Have you asked their pardon when you hurt them? Have you been disrespectful to your parents by speaking angrily to them, saying unkind, harsh words to them and about them, or by being ashamed of them? If you are a parent, have you shown this lack of honor, love and gratitude to your parents in the presence of your children? Have you criticized them and rejected some of their orders? Have you corrected and punished your children for serious transgressions, or forbidden them to enter serious occasions of sin? Have you cooperated with teachers in the education of your children? Have you refused to send your children to Catholic school when you could have done so and had no permission from bishop or pastor to do otherwise? If there is no Catholic school in your vicinity, have you sent your children to catechism faithfully? Have you taken an interest in their catechism lessons? Have you cooperated with the Pastor and the Sisters in the projects sponsored by them to stimulate the children's interest in the faith? Have you trained and corrected your children in regard to chastity? Have you been disrespectful to aged persons? Have you had proper care for children and those dependent on you - both in physical and religious matters? Above all, have you given them a good example? If you are a child, have you refused to speak to your father or mother? Have you resented them? Have you disobeyed your parents when they gave you orders to avoid bad companions or dangerous occasions to sin? Have you obeyed the rules they made concerning persons to be brought into the house, the hours to be kept at night, or the conduct within the home? When earning money, while living at home or while still subject to your parents, have you refused them part of your earnings when they needed it or demanded it? As a citizen, have you obeyed laws of the city and country made for the safety and well-being of all?
    The Fifth Commandment
        The fifth commandment forbids: Murder, ѕυιcιdє, criminal neglect that might cause serious injury or death to another, serious anger and hatred, abortion, mercy killing, the use of narcotics, sterilization, drunkenness, help extended to another to commit a mortal sin, fighting, anger, hatred and revenge. 
        Have you procured, desired, or hastened the death of any one? Have you been guilty of anger, hatred, quarreling, revenge? Used provoking language, insulting words, ridicule? Refused to speak to others? Caused enmities? Given scandal? Did you eat or drink too much? Have you been unkind, irritable, impatient? Have you provoked others to anger offended them, hurt them by anger or impatience? Have you entertained thoughts of jealousy, revenge, aversion, resentment or contempt of others? Have you kept company with those who drink to excess? Have you encouraged them to drink? Have you jested about their drunkenness? Have you neglected your health or endangered your life? Have you neglected to take care of the health of your children or those subject to you? Have you endangered the life of others by driving an automobile while intoxicated or caused real danger to the safety of others in any other way?

    The Sixth and Ninth Commandments
        These two commandments demand purity and modesty in our life: in our thoughts, words, and actions, whether alone or with others.
        In general, these commandments forbid: adultery, fornication, self-abuse, indecent dressing, necking, impure kisses, impure dancing, impure talk, sins against nature, birth control, impure touches, petting, looking at impure pictures, dances, floor shows, movies, or reading impure books or magazines.
        Have you been guilty of impure or immodest thoughts, words or actions - alone or with others? Have you spoken words or phrases of double meaning? Have you told suggestive stories? Have you encouraged others to do so? Have you taught others to do this? Have you avoided occasions of sin in this matter? Have you guarded your sight, or allowed your eyes to wander in curiosity over obviously dangerous objects? Have you put yourself in an occasion of sin by reading bad books, looking at indecent pictures, keeping bad company, attending immoral performances, watching indecent movies or television programs, singing lewd songs, and the like? Have you distributed obscene books or magazines? Have you informed others of places of distribution? Have you encouraged others to read them? Have you desired to do impure things? Have you been an occasion of sin to others, by your conversation, dress, appearance, or actions? Have you touched yourself impurely? If you are married, have you committed sins of impurity with another married or single person? Taken part in prolonged kisses and embraces with others beside your partner in marriage? Have you used contraceptive means in performing marriage duties? Have you, without good reason, refused or neglected to render the marriage obligation when seriously asked?

    The Seventh and Tenth Commandments
        These commandments forbid: robbery and burglary, graft, bribes, stealing and damaging the property of others. These commandments forbid not merely stealing but every type of dishonest dealing, such as, cheating, unjust keeping of what belongs to others, unjust damage to property of others, graft on the part of public officials. These commandments are also violated by merchants who use false weights, measures, who make exorbitant profits or lie about the essential qualities of their goods; by those who obtain money from others by persuading them to make unsound investments with the assurance of gain; by those who knowingly pass counterfeit money, or take undue advantage of the ignorance or necessity of another; by employers who defraud laborers; by employees who waste time during working hours, perform careless work or neglect to take reasonable care of the property of their employers; by employers who charge customers exorbitant prices; by those who do not return what they borrowed; by running up a charge account and not paying it; not returning found articles; selling articles with hidden defects for the usual price; not paying one's bills; by depriving one's family of necessities by gambling, drinking or foolish spending. 
        Have you stolen or retained ill-gotten goods? Damaged or wasted the property of others? Accepted bribes? Neglected to make restitution, or to help the poor? Have you desired the goods of others? Squandered their goods? As a parent, have you taught your children a strict sense of honesty and justice, punishing any slight theft or deceit? Have you sinned in any way mentioned above?

    The Eighth Commandment
        This commandment forbids: lies, calumny, detraction, perjury, unjust and unnecessary criticism, fault-finding, gossip, backbiting, insults, rash judgment, the telling of secrets one is bound to keep, cheating, tale-bearing.
        Have you borne false witness for or against another? Been guilty of detraction, flattery, hypocrisy, lying, rash judgment?
        Have you entertained unkind thoughts of others? Have you harbored suspicions, nursed resentments, refused to forgive others when they expressed their contrition? Have you spread unkind remarks others make to you? Do you discuss the faults of your parents, wife, husband, children with others who have no business knowing anything about them? At home are you given to nagging, complaining, arguing, refusing to talk, calling names, petty quarreling?
        Have you brought any harm to your neighbor and have you tried to repair it, as far as you were able? Have you tried to destroy the good work performed by another, or to hinder it seriously? Have you been sensitive, hurt, cool, thoughtless with others?

        I. Have you observed all Sundays and Holydays as commanded by the Church?
        II. Have you kept the fast? Eaten meat on prohibited days? Encouraged others to violate the precepts of the Church? Scandalized others by your failure to obey the Church in this matter? Have you nibbled between meals?
        III. Have you gone to confession at least once a year? Received Holy Communion during Easter Time?
        IV. Are you a member of any forbidden society? Are you a Communist?
        V. Have you contributed to the support of the Church, school, pastor? Have you prevented others from fulfilling this obligation? Have you fomented rebellion against proper Church authority? Have you given bad example to your children by refusing to support the Church? Have you tried to teach your children to give their share for the support of the Church? Have you ridiculed those who are doing their share and often times more than their share for the support of the Church?
        VI. Have you married contrary to the laws of the Catholic Church, or aided others in doing so? Are you keeping such company that may some day prove dangerous for you and lead you to a violation of this precept of the Church? Are you encouraging others to keep such company?

    Duties of Children
        Have you disobeyed your parents? Have you caused them to be angry? Have you grieved them? Used insulting language to them? Kept or wasted your wages you should have given them for their support? Incited your brothers and sisters or others against them? Neglected to write them or send them help? Neglected them in sickness and death?
    Duties of Husbands
        Have you grieved, abused, struck your wife, or accused her wrongfully? Have you neglected to provide for your family? Given your children bad example? Failed to correct their faults? Have you interfered with their religious vocation?
    Duties of Wives
        Have you disobeyed your husband? Caused your children to disobey and dishonor him? Spoken of his faults to your children or neighbors? Neglected to correct your children? Have you given them bad example? Have you instructed them in their religion? Have you interfered with their religious vocation?


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #5 on: December 21, 2021, 07:13:21 PM »
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  • Examination of Conscience
    Author: Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
    Examination of Conscience
    by Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
    If there is one part of the spiritual life that St. Ignatius stressed, it was the daily--and even twice daily--examination of conscience. 
    As we read the , we may be overwhelmed by the minute detail of St. Ignatius' treatment of what he calls the particular examination of conscience. At the same time, he is careful to provide, "Some Notes on Scruples." 
    It is very important, therefore, that we form a clear and correct conscience. This means that we cultivate a sensitive judgment which is alert to the least offense against the Divine will and, at the same time, protect ourselves against the wiles of the evil spirit. "The enemy," says St. Ignatius, "considers carefully whether one has a lax or a delicate conscience. If one has a delicate conscience, the evil one seeks to make it excessively sensitive in order to disturb and upset it more easily. Thus, if he sees that one will not consent to mortal sin or venial sin, or even to the appearance of deliberate sin, since he cannot cause him to fall in a matter that appears sinful, he strives to make the soul judge that there is a sin, for example in a word or passing thought, where there is no sin" (, 349). 
    It is valuable to reflect on this tactic of the evil spirit before we offer some practical norms for making our daily examination of conscience. Why? Because otherwise, we are liable to overlook the importance of a daily inventory of our moral conduct for fear of becoming scrupulous. 
    There is such a thing as growing in prudent sensitivity of conscience, without becoming a victim of the "enemy" as St. Ignatius calls him. 
    We may set this down as a general principle, for those who are sincerely striving to do the will of God: 
    It is characteristic of God and His angels, when they act upon the soul, to give true happiness and spiritual joy and to banish all the sadness and disturbances which are caused by the enemy. 
    It is characteristic of the evil one to fight against such happiness and consolation by proposing fallacious reasonings, subtleties, and continual deceptions (Rules for Discernment of Spirits, II, 1). 
    What are we to conclude from this? That the more zealous we are in trying to please God, the more He will give us a deep interior peace of soul. We should suspect as a temptation from the evil one, when we find ourselves worried or anxious or disturbed, no matter how pious the source of the worry or anxiety may be. 
    The key to applying this principle is that, before God, I honestly want to do His will even though through weakness, I may fail to live up to my resolutions. 
    One basic virtue on which we should daily examine ourselves is peace of soul. We should ask ourselves, "Have I given in to worry or anxiety?" "Have I allowed myself to get discouraged?" A good practice is to pronounce the name, "Jesus," when we find ourselves getting despondent, or say some short aspiration like, "My Jesus, I trust in you," whenever we become dejected over something. 
    Before applying the particular examen to my own spiritual life, it is well to first ask myself, "What are the virtues that I know from experience I most need to develop?" 
    The reason why this question should first be answered is that no two of us are equally prone to commit the same kind of sins. Nor are we personally always tempted in the same direction. There is wisdom in first knowing enough about myself, to be able to get to the root of my own moral weakness. Otherwise, I may be ignoring what really needs attention in my spiritual life and concentrating on what is not so necessary for me at this time in my service of God. 
    Moreover, it would be a mistake to suppose that by attending to my moral failings, I am being "negative" in my pursuit of holiness. 
    On the contrary. In God's providence, He allows us to fail in those areas in which He especially wants us to grow in virtue. 
    We can fail in the practice of these virtues either by commission, omission, or by tepidity, in not acting as generously as we might in responding to the grace we have received from God. 
    1 Do I make an honest effort to grow in the virtue of faith by daily mental prayer on the mysteries of the faith as revealed in the life of Jesus Christ? 
    2. Do I make at least a short act of faith every day? 
    3 Do I pray daily for an increase of faith? 
    4 Do I ever tempt God by relying on my own strength to cope with the trials in my life? 
    5 Do I unnecessarily read or listen to those who oppose or belittle what I know are truths of my Catholic faith? 
    6 What have I done today to externally profess my faith? 
    7 Have I allowed human respect to keep me from giving expression to my faith? 
    8. Do I make a serious effort to resolve difficulties that may arise about my faith? 
    9 Do I ever defend my faith, prudently and charitably, when someone says something contrary to what I know is to be believed? 
    10. Have I helped someone overcome a difficulty against the faith? 
    1 Do I immediately say a short prayer when I find myself getting discouraged?
    2 Do I daily say a short act of hope? 
    3 Do I dwell on my worries instead of dismissing them from my mind? 
    4 Do I fail in the virtue of hope by my attachment to the things of this world? 
    5 Do I try to see God's providence in everything that "happens" in my life? 
    6 Do I try to see everything from the viewpoint of eternity? 
    7 Am I confident that, with God's grace, I will be saved? 
    8 Do I allow myself to worry about my past life and thus weaken my hope in God's mercy? 
    9. Do I try to combine every fully deliberate action with at least a momentary prayer for divine help? 
    10. How often today have I complained, even internally? 
    1 Have I told God today that I love Him? 
    2 Do I tell Jesus that I love Him with my whole heart? 
    3 Do I take the occasion to tell God that I love Him whenever I experience something I naturally dislike? 
    4 Have I capitalized on the difficulties today to tell God that I love Him just because He sent me the trial or misunderstanding? 
    5 Do I see God's love for me in allowing me to prove my love for Him in the crosses He sent me today? 
    6 Have I seen God's grace to prove my love for Him in every person whom I met today? 
    7. Have I failed in charity by speaking unkindly about others? 
    8 Have I dwelt on what I considered someone's unkindness toward me today? 
    9. Is there someone that I consciously avoid because I dislike the person? 
    10. Did I try to carry on a conversation today with someone who is difficult to talk to? 
    11. Have I been stubborn in asserting my own will? 
    12. How thoughtful have I been today in doing some small favor for someone? 
    13. Have I allowed my mood to prevent me from being thoughtful of others today? 
    14. Am I given to dwelling on other people's weaknesses or faults? 
    15. Have I been cheerful today in my dealings with others? 
    16. Do I control my uncharitable thoughts as soon as they arise in my mind? 
    17. Did I pray for others today? 
    18. Have I written any letters today? 
    19. Have I controlled my emotions when someone irritated me? 
    20. Have I performed any sacrifice today for someone?


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #6 on: December 21, 2021, 07:15:48 PM »
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  • Examination of Conscience by St. Ignatius of Loyola
    I relax in my favorite prayer space and posture. I become aware that God is Looking at me with love, and I ask for the Holy Spirit’s aid in this time of prayer. Gratitude
    I give thanks to God for his gifts today. What was my favorite moment? How did God reveal himself to me?
    I recall my emotions, thoughts, and urges during the day.
    What stirrings in my heart were of God? Did I resist his grace today? Forgiveness
    I acknowledge the times when I acted sinfully and selfishly.
    I ask for God’s forgiveness and healing, and rest in his mercy.
    I resolve to trust in God’s loving guidance. I plan, with the Holy Spirit, How I will live more in accord with his love tomorrow.


    • Guest
    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #7 on: December 21, 2021, 07:19:06 PM »
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  • Pride (ST II-II q162)
    Pride is the mother of all sin (St. Gregory the Great, c.f. St. Thomas Aquinas Summa Theologica II-II q162 a8). It is a craving for excellence beyond what is reasonable, an inordinate desire for one’s own superiority (ST II-II q162 a2). Reason requires that a man reach up for what is proportionate to him, and proportionate to his abilities. In pride a man seeks to be more than he should be. It makes a man hate being equal to men, and hate being less than God.

    Have I refused to admit my own weaknesses?
    Have I humbly admitted them to my spiritual director?
    Have I sought things beyond me?
    Have I dwelt on the failings of others?
    Have I judged others? Ranked myself better than others?  Judging: In thought, word, or deed?
    Have I borne hated for another?
    Have I refused to learn from others?
    Have I been stubborn? Refused to admit I was wrong? Refused to accept that another person had a better idea?
    Have I abused my power by imposing my will/preferences/opinions
    on others, others I havce pastroal care for, or on friends?
    Have I been insensitive in how I have proclaimed Christ’s truths?
    Have I been arrogant? Have I held others in contempt?
    Have I failed to show respect and obedience to those in authority?
    To my rector, staff, bishop, spiritual director, professors?
    In my inner judgements, and external words, or gossip?
    Am I willing to go wherever the Bishop sends me? Cheerfully?
    In my daily activity: Do I seek God’s will or my own will?

    Have I failed to do my duties to my family/parents? E.g. return phone calls, texts, visit, stay in touch? Have I been self-seeking in my time with family at home? Do I consider what I owe them? Have I spent time with them? How have I manifested my concern for them? Have I been forgiving and tolerant of them? Have I scandalized them by bad example?

    Pusillanimity –the opposite of pride. False-humility fails to use our gifts.Have I neglected to use the talents that God has given me?
    Have I avoided my duty to deal with difficult people and situations?
    Have I failed to preach the harder teachings of Christ? In morals?

    Vanity (ST II-II q132)
    Concerns external glory. ‘Glory’ –the good of a person manifested to others. The proper end of glory is: God’s glory, and, our neighbour’s salvation -these two criteria can test whether our desire for glory is virtuous. Vanity flows from pride and looks like pride. Glory can be vain/empty in three ways (a1): The honour/thing sought is itself unworthy; The person from whom you seek it is unworthy; The glory sought is not referred to God.
    The 7 daughters of vainglory: Boasting, Deceit (when we do not deserve the praise), A passion for innovation (so that something ‘new’ makes us look good), Stubbornness of opinion, Quarrelling, Contention, Disobedience.

    Have I acted/joked/given talks more to impress others than to do God’s will or to help others?
    Has my humour and conversation been self-seeking?
    Have my jokes been unkind?
    Have I listened to others, or have I done all the talking?
    Have I lied or exaggerated to make myself look good?
    Have I wasted undue time and money on clothes and appearance?
    Is my physical exercise motivated by vanity or by health?
    Ambition –have I sought recognition and advancement for my own glory, rather than to do God’s will?
    Have I been content with my lowly position, or have I resented the role that Christ is asking me to fulfil?

    Lust (ST II-II q.153; CCC 2351)
    “Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sɛҳuąƖ pleasure. sɛҳuąƖ pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.”(CCC 2351). It is a sin of excess.
    “Lust is about the greatest of pleasures, and these absorb the mind more than others” (St. Thomas), so when this goes wrong much goes wrong! But Lust is not the most serious sin –pride is.
    The 8 daughters of lust (II-II q.153 a5): Blindness of the mind (because the passions cloud thinking), Rashness, Thoughtlessness, Inconstancy, Self-love, Hatred of God for forbidding lust, Love of the pleasures of this world, Despair of the future world.

    Custody of the Eyes: “Whoever looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28)
    Have I looked at others impurely? With what frequency? Has this led to impure thoughts? What frequency and duration? Have I viewed other people as mere sɛҳuąƖ objects rather than as persons to be loved?
    Pornography: Have I used the internet, or TV?
    Have I flirted/danced/toyed with the feelings of another?
    Have I guarded my heart and thoughts against developing affections for particular women? Have I behaved in a way that might tempt romantic affections from women? Have I imprudently spent time alone with a woman? Have I paid excessive attention to more attractive women?
    Impure Thoughts: Have I entertained impure thoughts? Briefly, or at length?
    With what frequency? On what occasions? (e.g. at night when half-asleep and less culpable, or when fully awake?)
    Impure acts: Alone, or with another? What frequency and on what occasions?
    Impure touches? Impurity in hugs with others?
    Words: Have my jokes, conversation, and flattery been pure?
    Have I listened to or told impure jokes, tolerated foul conversation?
    Have I encouraged/approved/aided the unchaste acts of others?
    Have I failed to preach about Christ’s teachings on holy purity?
    Have I received Holy Communion while in a state of serious sin?
    Have I neglected to seek Confession before celebrating Mass?
    Modesty –has my dress been an occasion of sin for others?
    Have I sought to flatter myself by drawing improper attention to my body?

    Have I been guilty of an excess or deficiency in resting myself in ‘play’ or relaxation?
    The soul’s rest is in pleasure (ST II-II q168 a2).
    Have I refused to express mirth at another’s humour? (A man who has no humour is an unreasonable burden to his fellow man. ST II-II q168 a4)

    Have I thoughtfully considered and planned my actions?
    Have I applied the standards of Christ to my actions?
    Have I sought to avoid situations of sin?
    Intemperance: Have I driven recklessly, broken the speed limit (excessively)?
    Have I respected the traffic laws enacted by the legitimate authority? (‘Fear God and honour the emperor’ 1 Pet 2:17)
    Have I driven while under the influence of alcohol?

    Anger/Wrath (ST II-II q158)
    Anger is undue desire for vengeance –undue in cause or in amount. Anger can be just or unjust: punishment can be too much or too little, it can even not be deserved at all; it can be measured out by someone who does not have the authority to give it. Anger through zeal can be dangerous, and cloud later judgments. Lack of due anger: “unreasonable patience is the hotbed of many vices, it fosters negligence, and incites not only the wicked but even the good to do wrong” (II-II q158 a8). 
    Note the just anger of Christ cleansing the Temple: 'Zeal for thy house will consume me.' (Ps. 68:10): “How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!" (John 2:15-16)
    The 6 daughters of wrath: Indignation (we deem the one we are angry with to be unworthy), Swelling of the mind (as it fills with plots of revenge), Injurious words against our neighbour, Excessive manner of words against someone, Blasphemy, Quarrelling.

    Have I tolerated abuses against others or against God? (lack of righteous anger)
    Have I harboured resentment, grudges, and hatred in my thoughts?
    Have I imagined bad conversations to nurture my anger?
    Have I judged rashly?
    Have I plotted revenge?
    Have I sought to be a peace-maker? Have I been physically violent?
    Have I refused or been slow or ungracious in forgiving?
    Have I insulted people? Quarrelled with people?
    Lost my temper?
    Have I been disagreeable, rude, or abrupt to parishioners?
    Impatience: How have I carried my cross?
    Have I been impatient with people, events, sufferings, sicknesses?
    Do I accept the inconvenience of others interrupting my plans?
    Have I been angry with God rather than accepting of His will?

    Covetousness/Avarice (ST II-II q118)
    Avarice is the excessive love of possessing things (a1). It is contrary to reason and due measure. Material goods are only useful in helping us towards an end; to desire them in themselves in an evil. ‘The love of money is the root of all evil’ (1 Tim 6:10) –i.e. it is a capital sin.
    The 7 daughters of avarice: Hard-heartedness to the poor, Insensitivity to mercy, Dissatisfaction in thoughts, Restlessness in deeds, Violence (to acquire things), Falsehood (in words, including perjury), Fraud (in transactions), Treachery (as in the case of Judas).
    Diocesan priestly living demands ‘simplicity of life’, the avoidance of ‘anything which could have an air of vanity’(Directory on the Ministry and Life of Priests, n.67), and a particular configuration to ‘imitate the mystery you celebrate: model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s Cross’(Ordination Rite). 

    Have I sought to be poor, as Christ became poor for us (2 Cor 8:9)?
    Have I been overly concerned about my own comfort and well-being?
    Have I sought to have the Lord as my priestly inheritance (Num18:20)
    or have I looked for earthly satisfactions?
    Have I lived inner detachment from the world and its fading glories?
    Have I been resentful of my lack of money?
    Have I been generous in giving, even out of my own poverty,
    especially to the poor? Have I given with a cheerful heart?
    Have I sought to deny myself those worldly activities that are
    unbecoming of a future priest? Have I considered what these are?
    Has my dining out, living quarters, transportation, car, vacations etc
    eliminated ‘any kind of affectation and luxury’?
    Have I bought myself an excessive amount of gadgets, ‘toys’, etc?
    Have I unreasonably got the parish to buy these for me?
    Have I cheated, stolen, or failed to pay my bills on time?
    Have I found little ways to cheat the parish of money?
    Have I borrowed without permission?
    Have I been honest in my dealings with others?
    Have I used people for my own ends and advantage?
    Have I paid excessive attention to people because they were rich
    or because they might give me money?
    Have I been guilty of favouritism in other ways?
    Have I wasted money on unnecessary expenses or gambling?

    Various other sins against justice:
    Have I failed to keep secrets?
    Murder, Theft, Cheating, Contempt for others, Backbiting, Tale-bearing, Derision, Cursing, Boasting, Flattery, Quarrelling.

    Envy (ST II-II q36)
    Envy/Jealousy –is sadness at the happiness or good of another
    The 5 Daughters of envy: Hatred (love desires the good of another), Tale-bearing (to lower a man’s reputation), Detraction, Joy at our neighbour’s misfortunes, Grief at our neighbour’s prosperity.

    Have I envied or been jealous of the abilities, talents, ideas, plans, good-looks, intelligence, clothes, car, possessions, friends etc of another person?
    Have I taken pleasure in the failure or misfortune of a brother seminarian?
    Have I rejoiced in the talents and good fortune of my brother seminarian?
    Have I resented the promotion or recognition given to others?

    Gossip and Sins of Speech:
    Every man has a right to a good name. A man’s good name is his most precious social possession. Without it he cannot function in society: people will not trust him, will not talk to him, will despise him etc. Every man thus has a right to a good name and we do not have a right to take this away from someone. Even when we are accurately describing someone’s bad characteristics we are still depriving him of the good name that he has a right to.
    Slander/Calumny –telling an untruth about someone
    Detraction –telling a truth about someone that lessens his reputation/good name.
    Detraction: Have I damaged the reputation of another?
    By deeds/looks/words have I caused others to have a lower opinion of someone else?
    Slander: Have I exaggerated/lied about the faults of others?
    Have I repeated accusations that might not be true?
    Gossip: Have I led others to gossip?
    Have I neglected to change the conversation/avoid conversation with others who are gossiping? Have I failed to defend the reputation of others?
    Thoughts: Have I mentally judged others?
    i.e. internal detraction/slander/gossip of the mind.
    Do I despise others of different race, class or culture?
    Have I borne hatred to another?
    Have I been guilty of deception?
    Lies: Have I told lies out of envy (to damage another’s reputation), laziness (to avoid work), or vanity (to make me look good)?

    Sloth/Apathy (ST II-II q35)
    Sloth is spiritual sorrow in the face of spiritual good, it is an oppressive sorrow that weighs on a man’s mind and makes him want to do nothing (a1). To not take joy in a good is a bad thing!
    It is laziness in the things of God.
    The 6 Daughter of sloth: Despair (by avoiding our ultimate end of God), Faint-heartedness (in the quest for sanctity), Sluggishness about the commandments, Spite (as in indignation –against other men who do seek sanctity), Malice (as a consequence of spite), Wandering after unlawful things (“Those who find no joy in spiritual pleasures have recourse to pleasures of the body” (a4)). Isidore adds: Idleness, drowsiness, uneasiness of mind, restlessness of body, instability, loquaciousness (talking too much), curiosity.

    Have I sought God above all else, or have I put other priorities (e.g. friendships, clerical ambition, comfort and ease) ahead of him?
    Have I got so caught up in the things of this world that I’ve forgotten God?
    Have I risked losing my faith/piety by bad company, bad reading, cowardice, or pride?
    Have I trusted God, especially in times of difficulty?
    Have I kept the Lord’s Day holy?
    Have I worked needlessly on Sunday?
    Have I omitted some part of my plan of life: daily Mass, Breviary, daily Holy Hour, mental prayer, daily Rosary, spiritual reading etc?
    Have I entertained distractions in prayer, or failed to give God due concentration in prayer, or rushed my Rosary, Office, or Holy Mass?
    (Note: Not giving God the effort he deserves in prayer is a sin, but it is not the same thing as involuntary weakness in mental distractions.)
    Have I fallen asleep in prayer due to lack of effort and discipline in getting to sleep on time?
    Have I gone to sleep on time?
    Have I, due to lack of effort and discipline, lacked the sleep I need to study, engage in apostolate, and live charity to my neighbour?
    Have I made priestly intercession for others, or only prayed for self?
    Have I been faithful and observant of the rubrics at Mass?
    Have I received Holy Communion reverently?
    Have I made a due preparation before Mass begins?
    Have I made an appropriate thanksgiving after Mass?
    Have I neglected the duties of my apostolate?
    Have I returned phone calls?
    Have I visited the sick and housebound?
    Have I been negligent/sloppy/half-hearted in my apostolate?
    Have I procrastinated (e.g. with email), avoiding more serious priorities? Have I wasted time watching useless TV, or social media, or the internet?
    Have I given serious time to study, knowing is necessary for a priest?
    Has my conversation been focussed on my own pleasure, or on others?
    Has my humour been insensitive/offensive to others?
    Have I sinned against God by taking his name in vain?
    Have I caused scandal to others by using foul language?
    Example: Have I given scandal by setting a bad example to others by my sloth?
    Has my behaviour or words led others to sin?
    Have I set the good example Christ expects of a seminarian?
    Have I sinned against my neighbour by being late for meetings?
    Have I wasted other people’s time by being late or unprepared?
    Have I sinned against God by being late for Mass or prayers?
    Have I sought to help my fellow priests? Have I been attentive to their needs?

    Gluttony (ST II-II q148)
    Gluttony is the inordinate desire for food, unregulated by reason, knowingly exceeding need, for the sake of pleasure.
    Gluttony tempts us in 5 ways: To seek food that is too much, too fancy, too expensive, to eat at improper/excessive times, or in hasty manner, or in a manner lacking manners & social consideration.
    The 5 daughters of gluttony: Dullness of mind (whereas abstinence sharpens wits), Unseemly joy (the appetites get disordered), Idle talk, Scurrilous behaviour (because reason is dulled and bad behaviour follows), Bodily uncleanness.

    Have I eaten more than I need? To how serious an extent?
    Have I sought food with undue concentration?
    Have I eaten with undue haste and lack of consideration of others?
    Have I neglected the food needs of others at the table? (e.g. do I always take the last portion of food?)
    Have I spent undue amounts of money of food?
    Have I practiced fasting and self-denial, especially on Fridays and other fast days?
    Have I fasted before receiving Holy Communion at Mass?
    Is my heart set on pleasure and amusement?
    Drunkenness impairs our use of reason. Reason is a gift of God, and is thus rejected in drunkenness. Drunkenness lowers us to the level of the animals, it makes us incapable of virtuous acts, incapable of charity to others, it makes us incapable of knowing right from wrong. Have I drunk alcohol to excess? Repeatedly? Scandalously?
    Have I used prudence to plan the quantity of my drinking?

    The Ten Commandments:
    I, the Lord, am your God. You shall not have other gods besides me. You shall not take the name of the Lord God in vain. Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day. Honour your father and your mother. You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness. You shall not covet your neighbour's wife. You shall not covet your neighbour's goods.

    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Problem with confession
    « Reply #8 on: December 21, 2021, 09:16:46 PM »
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  • Take nothing for granted. Be thankful and make the best of having a priest and the opportunity to confess. You could lose it at any time.
    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.