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Some alternate responses:


Do you have hemorrhoids?
When was your last colonoscopy?
When was your last prostate exam?
Have you gotten your Pap Smear lately?
Have you had a vasectomy?
Have you had Botox?


p.s. to the OP:  I like the one about depression meds.  

I agree. If they're going to be invasive about private medical information, hit em back hard!
You have to be consistent. 
I tell you what: a lot more people die of cancer than COVID. Especially when you filter out the fake COVID deaths (motorcycle accidents, Fentanyl overdoses, etc.)
And if they come back with "that's totally different; my getting cancer wouldn't affect you or society at large" -- then ask about their reproductive habits, plans for more children, etc. since that DOES affect society. Any culture with less than 2.1 children reproduction rate will not survive as a culture. 
And considering that the family is the building-block of society, go ahead and ask how many sɛҳuąƖ partners they've had. Body-count DOES have a bearing on the stability of their current marriage and their childrens' psychological well-being.

Who wants to know?

The cashier in 7-Eleven?  “Oooh! What’s that sore?  (Point to their face or something really on their hand or arm.)  Have you been tested?  You really ought to get checked out.  No offense intended, bro!”

Your employer?  That’s dicey.  Unless you’ve been intending to go out with a bang, don’t give a sarcastic response.  Depending upon where you work, who you work for, policy, or law, you can give a simple, “No.” -or- “Not yet.” to buy yourself time.  Or, if you’ve had the vaccine, say, “I’m glad you asked. Yes, I have, so may I be so bold as to suggest you start now looking for my replacement.”  
Perhaps you’re blessed with an employer with common sense, in which case, “Just Say No.”  (If you were about age 10 and up during the Reagan administration, you’ll recognize the quote.)  

I saw in some article online, don’t recall where, the suggestion to reply, “Yes, I have,” if the employer fails to specify which vaccine, and you’ve had some other.  When they ask “Which one?” name Pfizer as they are commonly the makers of influenza, shingles, pneumonia shots in the US.  To me, this is morally shaky ground.  But then again, your if employer hasn’t the right to know, it’s like the Saint who, when pursued by the soldiers, said, “Yes, I saw him back there!  If you go now, you might be able to find him!”  The problem is when they ask for your card or passport app. you’ll have to show a counterfeit or lie that you lost it, you left it at home, it hasn’t come in the mail…

Joking aside, the real problem with this is the abortion connection. IF a vaccine is properly tested and found to be truly “safe and effective,” AND there is no use of abortive or any other immorally obtained substances, AND the disease it prevents IS a public or personal threat, then I will take it.  I’m not totally opposed to all vaccines, but the large majority of them are unnecessary, even harmful.