Author Topic: How to overcome being socially indifferent? (Read 3997 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** August 10, 2022, 04:50:15 PM »

I briefly remember when I was a child, I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people, mostly because I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today. I just don't care. I don't care about the things, the celebrity, the TV and all that they like unless I actually enjoy it. And at this point I already don't see any point in talking with people at all. And ever since I became a catholic, I forced myself to be social, warm and friendly to people, but to be honest a lot of time I don't even want to spare a second look at most of the people and I don't even see the meaning of having a social connection with them. Someone told me "you can't live with only catholic friends". I know it's probably true. And I know it's probably against charity for me to rather live in solitude. Worst of all, I don't even like some of the catholics that I befriend and I don't even like children or babies. What can I do?

DigitalLogos · « **Reply #1 on:** August 10, 2022, 04:58:42 PM »

I don't see anything wrong with this. I feel the same way a lot of the time around other people: disinterested in talking to them, carrying conversation, etc. because of their worldliness. And when the subject of religion comes up, they simply dismiss what is said or become aggressively combative. To me, it sounds like you just have a disposition for holy indifference and solitude. Giving in to human respect is a sin, and many, including myself at times, will keel to it; it's probably one of the most difficult things to overcome and you appear to have a leg-up on it.

My two cents, though.

Nadir · « **Reply #2 on:** August 10, 2022, 05:16:38 PM »

You say nothing about your situation in life, your marital status, your age, your sex, your work, your works of charity (which are essential to salvation). So I couldn't even dare to hazard a guess in answer to your question.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** August 10, 2022, 05:25:26 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 04:50:15 PM

I briefly remember when I was a child, I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people, mostly because I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today. I just don't care. I don't care about the things, the celebrity, the TV and all that they like unless I actually enjoy it. And at this point I already don't see any point in talking with people at all. And ever since I became a catholic, I forced myself to be social, warm and friendly to people, but to be honest a lot of time I don't even want to spare a second look at most of the people and I don't even see the meaning of having a social connection with them. Someone told me "you can't live with only catholic friends". I know it's probably true. And I know it's probably against charity for me to rather live in solitude. Worst of all, I don't even like some of the Catholics that I befriend and I don't even like children or babies. What can I do?

You claim that you are indifferent to people....but then you reach out to people to justify yourself. It's called self-deception. Most of us are very good at it.

Quote

I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people, mostly because I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today.

You didn't grow up, you're still looking to please yourself, not God.

We're here to learn to actually love God. When we do we are indifferent as to what he calls us to, seeking only to please him.

My club still has plenty of life left if you need another beating, just ask.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #4 on:** August 10, 2022, 10:27:37 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 05:25:26 PM

You claim that you are indifferent to people....but then you reach out to people to justify yourself. It's called self-deception. Most of us are very good at it.
You didn't grow up, you're still looking to please yourself, not God.

We're here to learn to actually love God. When we do we are indifferent as to what he calls us to, seeking only to please him.

My club still has plenty of life left if you need another beating, just ask.

I don't mean to be rude, but I asked "how" not "what makes me terrible" and I'm not sure what you're trying to say? Are you trying to say pleasing God is to please people? What's your suggestion even?

Nadir · « **Reply #5 on:** August 11, 2022, 12:48:38 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 10:27:37 PM

I don't mean to be rude, but I asked "how" not "what makes me terrible" and I'm not sure what you're trying to say? Are you trying to say pleasing God is to please people? What's your suggestion even?

May I suggest that you re read your post, taking note of the bolded bits. That should open your eyes if you are gifted with any insight at all

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 04:50:15 PM

I briefly remember when I was a child, I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and

I enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people,

mostly because

I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today.

I just don't care. I don't care about the things, the celebrity, the TV and all that they like unless I actually enjoy it.

And at this point I already don't see any point in talking with people at all.

And ever since I became a catholic, I forced myself to be social, warm and friendly to people,

but to be honest a lot of time I don't even want to spare a second look at most of the people and

I don't even see the meaning of having a social connection with them.

Someone told me "you can't live with only catholic friends". I know it's probably true. And

I know it's probably against charity for me to rather live in solitude.

Worst of all, I don't even like some of the catholics that I befriend and

I don't even like children or babies. What can I do?

You show in your writing that you are not happy with the situation It's sounds like you have suffered rejection, perceived or real. You need friends whoever you are. So find a trusted person you can talk to about it. A priest or an older woman depending on your sex. Friendship takes effort and selflessness. Pray about it and I will pray for you. Message me if you wish.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** August 11, 2022, 02:37:37 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 10:27:37 PM

I don't mean to be rude, but I asked "how" not "what makes me terrible" and I'm not sure what you're trying to say? Are you trying to say pleasing God is to please people? What's your suggestion even?

I think Nadir has said it quite well, and kindly, but I'll add a couple of points.

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Are you trying to say pleasing God is to please people?

No. I'm saying that if you were actually focused on God, and actually motivated by love for Him, you would be indifferent as to if/when He called you to be sociable and if/when he called you to solitude. And you wouldn't even think about the approval of others. In your OP you claim to be drawn to solitude but then immediately bring up people and your dislike for them. Look at it from the outside, as if someone else wrote your post. Doesn't it seem a little telling? I think Nadir is right to suspect that it's a self defense mechanism.

Quote

What's your suggestion even?

Do what we all have to do: seek God and His will. Seek to truly love Him. Seek to be undeceived, especially by self. Quit looking to be special.

It's not really that profound.
It's not easy, but it is simple: take up your cross and follow Him.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** August 11, 2022, 03:07:06 AM »

Being socially indifferent is a blessing.

It will save you from many potential sins of gossip, backbiting, etc.

Such sins can't arise if you don't place yourself in the occasion of them.

You only need to be socialize in so far as charity requires it, but no more.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:28:25 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 02:37:37 AM

No. I'm saying that if you were actually focused on God, and actually motivated by love for Him, you would be indifferent as to if/when He called you to be sociable and if/when he called you to solitude. And you wouldn't even think about the approval of others. In your OP you claim to be drawn to solitude but then immediately bring up people and your dislike for them. Look at it from the outside, as if someone else wrote your post. Doesn't it seem a little telling? I think Nadir is right to suspect that it's a self defense mechanism.

Do what we all have to do: seek God and His will. Seek to truly love Him. Seek to be undeceived, especially by self. Quit looking to be special.

It's not really that profound.
It's not easy, but it is simple: take up your cross and follow Him.

Yeah, I must be clueless too, because your post doesn't make sense to me either. I saw nothing wrong with the OP. We all question our/reflect on our behavior. It doesn't necessarily mean we aren't focused on God. I think your original post to the OP was quite rude.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #9 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:33:04 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 03:07:06 AM

Being socially indifferent is a blessing.

It will save you from many potential sins of gossip, backbiting, etc.

Such sins can't arise if you don't place yourself in the occasion of them.

You only need to be socialize in so far as charity requires it, but no more.

Then my question will be how much socialization does charity really require?

Ladislaus · « **Reply #10 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:35:26 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 07:33:04 AM

Then my question will be how much socialization does charity really require?

None ... per se. Depending on a particular situation, charity might require engaging with someone, but charity does not require you to be a chatterbox and to be able to make smalltalk about the weather, etc.

Ladislaus · « **Reply #11 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:36:38 AM »

BTW, I am the same way. I do not care for being social just for the sake of being social, especially with people I have little in common with.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #12 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:42:35 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 07:28:25 AM

Yeah, I must be clueless too, because your post doesn't make sense to me either. I saw nothing wrong with the OP. We all question our/reflect on our behavior. It doesn't necessarily mean we aren't focused on God. I think your original post to the OP was quite rude.

Thank you, you're absolutely right, I read their posts a couple times and I'm still clueless what they're trying to say. Perhaps they meant"just pray and love God and don't even think about it?" Or "hey here's my psychoanalysis of this poor OP and go see a psychiatrist?"

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** August 11, 2022, 07:54:14 AM »

Quote from: Ladislaus on August 11, 2022, 07:36:38 AM

BTW, I am the same way. I do not care for being social just for the sake of being social, especially with people I have little in common with.

Thanks. So would you say there's really nothing against charity to not actively socialize with people that you're not interested in?
I think perhaps it's because our society is difficult to introverts in general, and I've been receiving so much criticism for not having more social connections, to a point that I start to think there's something wrong with me that I have very little interest in people.

DigitalLogos · « **Reply #14 on:** August 11, 2022, 08:01:05 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 07:54:14 AM

Thanks. So would you say there's really nothing against charity to not actively socialize with people that you're not interested in?
I think perhaps it's because our society is difficult to introverts in general, and I've been receiving so much criticism for not having more social connections, to a point that I start to think there's something wrong with me that I have very little interest in people.

Nothing wrong with it at all. Charity is willing the good of another, not chatting with them because they can't be prudent about their speech. As long as you have an interest in the souls of others and pray for them, that doesn't make you uncharitable at all.

For example, I like to post here, but that doesn't make me an outgoing, social person in my personal life. I find small talk useless and don't really engage in it unless its about a specific topic. Sure, I might lightheartedly goof around a bit with friends or coworkers, but I don't go out of my way to engage in conversation for its own sake because it usually deals with unimportant worldly topics.

Author Topic: How to overcome being socially indifferent? (Read 3997 times)

Änσnymσus

How to overcome being socially indifferent?

DigitalLogos

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Nadir

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Nadir

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Ladislaus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Ladislaus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

Änσnymσus

Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?

DigitalLogos

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