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Author Topic: How to overcome being socially indifferent?  (Read 5123 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
« Reply #15 on: August 11, 2022, 08:24:20 AM »
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    • Quote from: DigitalLogos on August 11, 2022, 08:01:05 AM
    Nothing wrong with it at all. Charity is willing the good of another, not chatting with them because they can't be prudent about their speech. As long as you have an interest in the souls of others and pray for them, that doesn't make you uncharitable at all.

    For example, I like to post here, but that doesn't make me an outgoing, social person in my personal life. I find small talk useless and don't really engage in it unless its about a specific topic. Sure, I might lightheartedly goof around a bit with friends or coworkers, but I don't go out of my way to engage in conversation for its own sake because it usually deals with unimportant worldly topics.
    I see. That's really helpful. I do pray for people and when people ask me for reasonable help I am willing to help no matter who they are, even complete stranger or enemy, but it still doesn't make I want to talk with them or learn about them at all. But when they do want to talk to me I listen if I can and I remember most part of the conversation. Most people are the opposite as I observed, they will talk a lot with different people but they don't remember what other people told them, and don't actually go out of their way to help. To me that's not charity at all, but it is perceived as what a normal person would do.
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    Offline Philothea3

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #16 on: August 11, 2022, 09:50:47 AM »
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    • "Do you, my child, love every one with the pure love of charity, but have no friendship save with those whose intercourse is good and true, and the purer the bond which unites you so much higher will your friendship be...
    Do you form no other friendships. I say "form," because you have no right to cast aside or neglect the natural bonds which draw you to relations, connexions, benefactors or neighbours. My rules apply to those you deliberately choose to make."

    also:

    "There are some who will tell you that you should avoid all special affection or friendship, as likely to engross the heart, distract the mind, excite jealousy, and what not. But they are confusing things. They have read in the works of saintly and devout writers that individual friendships and special intimacies are a great hindrance in the religious life, and therefore they suppose it to be the same with all the world, which is not at all the case. Whereas in a well-regulated community every one's aim is true devotion, there is no need for individual intercourse, which might exceed due limits;--in the world those who aim at a devout life require to be united one with another by a holy friendship, which excites, stimulates and encourages them in well-doing. "

    (Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, Chapter 19 Real Friendship)


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    THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN, so that we may love you with all our heart, by always having you in mind; with all our soul, by always longing for you; with all our mind, by determining to seek your glory in everything; and with all our strength, of body and soul... 
    - St Francis de Assisi

    Offline 2Vermont

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #17 on: August 11, 2022, 05:24:58 PM »
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    • Quote from: Philothea3 on August 11, 2022, 09:50:47 AM
    "Do you, my child, love every one with the pure love of charity, but have no friendship save with those whose intercourse is good and true, and the purer the bond which unites you so much higher will your friendship be...
    Do you form no other friendships. I say "form," because you have no right to cast aside or neglect the natural bonds which draw you to relations, connexions, benefactors or neighbours. My rules apply to those you deliberately choose to make."

    also:

    "There are some who will tell you that you should avoid all special affection or friendship, as likely to engross the heart, distract the mind, excite jealousy, and what not. But they are confusing things. They have read in the works of saintly and devout writers that individual friendships and special intimacies are a great hindrance in the religious life, and therefore they suppose it to be the same with all the world, which is not at all the case. Whereas in a well-regulated community every one's aim is true devotion, there is no need for individual intercourse, which might exceed due limits;--in the world those who aim at a devout life require to be united one with another by a holy friendship, which excites, stimulates and encourages them in well-doing. "

    (Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, Chapter 19 Real Friendship)
    This chapter also says [sounds like St Frances is saying we should strive to have friendships that are good, holy and sacred...not to just have friendships.  

    I may be wrong in detaining you on so clear a topic.  St. Jerome, St. Augustine, St. Gregory, St. Bernard, and all the greatest servants of God, had very special friendships without prejudice to their perfection.  St. Paul reproaching the disorders of the gentiles accuses them of being people without affection (Rom. 1:31), that is to say, those who did not have any friendships.  St. Thomas like all the good philosophers declares that friendship is a virtue.  Then he speaks about particular friendship because, as he says, perfect friendship cannot be extended to many persons.  Thus, perfection does not consist in having no friendship at all but in having only that which is good, holy and sacred.
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    Offline DigitalLogos

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #18 on: August 11, 2022, 05:51:30 PM »
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    • Quote from: 2Vermont on August 11, 2022, 05:24:58 PM
    This chapter also says [sounds like St Frances is saying we should strive to have friendships that are good, holy and sacred...not to just have friendships. 

    I may be wrong in detaining you on so clear a topic.  St. Jerome, St. Augustine, St. Gregory, St. Bernard, and all the greatest servants of God, had very special friendships without prejudice to their perfection.  St. Paul reproaching the disorders of the gentiles accuses them of being people without affection (Rom. 1:31), that is to say, those who did not have any friendships.  St. Thomas like all the good philosophers declares that friendship is a virtue.  Then he speaks about particular friendship because, as he says, perfect friendship cannot be extended to many persons.  Thus, perfection does not consist in having no friendship at all but in having only that which is good, holy and sacred.
    Indeed. That makes more sense, and is completely necessary in this age given how wicked and vulgar people generally have become.
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    "Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof." [Matt. 6:34]

    "In all thy works remember thy last end, and thou shalt never sin." [Ecclus. 7:40]

    "A holy man continueth in wisdom as the sun: but a fool is changed as the moon." [Ecclus. 27:12]

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #19 on: August 11, 2022, 07:42:10 PM »
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    • What about not liking babies or children though? Isn't that unnatural? 
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    Online Viva Cristo Rey

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #20 on: August 11, 2022, 07:48:36 PM »
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    • We are meant to spread the gospel of Jesus to others.  If they don’t want to talk about Jesus,  just pray for that person. Me.  I love children; but selfish bad parents not so much.  But these bad parents need prayers and guidance.  Sometimes, you must dust off your sandals and move on.  It is great to be surrounded by like minded Christians. 

    There are times we need a break from people.  Sometimes , I need to distance myself from sin and drama.  You might a religious need a retreat for help and guidance. Our prayers to you.  

    God bless and guide you. 

      


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    May God bless you and keep you

    Offline Nadir

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #21 on: August 11, 2022, 07:53:41 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 07:42:10 PM
    What about not liking babies or children though? Isn't that unnatural?
    I think that is the clincher that alerts the reader to an emotional/spiritual disorder of some kind. As I said previously s/he needs to speak to a priest or an older wiser compassionate person
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    Offline 2Vermont

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #22 on: August 11, 2022, 08:04:49 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 04:50:15 PM
    I briefly remember when I was a child, I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people, mostly because I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today. I just don't care. I don't care about the things, the celebrity, the TV and all that they like unless I actually enjoy it. And at this point I already don't see any point in talking with people at all. And ever since I became a catholic, I forced myself to be social, warm and friendly to people, but to be honest a lot of time I don't even want to spare a second look at most of the people and I don't even see the meaning of having a social connection with them. Someone told me "you can't live with only catholic friends". I know it's probably true. And I know it's probably against charity for me to rather live in solitude. Worst of all, I don't even like some of the catholics that I befriend and I don't even like children or babies. What can I do?
    I wish you were my neighbor instead of the ones I got across the street who don't seem to know what the word boundaries mean. Uggh.   
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #23 on: August 11, 2022, 08:36:59 PM »
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    • Quote from: 2Vermont on August 11, 2022, 08:04:49 PM
    I wish you were my neighbor instead of the ones I got across the street who don't seem to know what the word boundaries mean. Uggh. 
    Haha, yet some people here think I have some serious disorder. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #24 on: August 11, 2022, 09:29:22 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 07:42:10 PM
    What about not liking babies or children though? Isn't that unnatural?
    Maybe you aspire towards perfection, and see them as far from the ideal since they are undeveloped and can be bothersome. Try to see the good in them. The innocence, the trust they place in superiors before they learn about lies and deceit, the fresh start they have on the path to becoming a saint.
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    Offline Nadir

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #25 on: August 12, 2022, 12:41:10 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2022, 08:36:59 PM
    Haha, yet some people here think I have some serious disorder.
    I didn't say you have a serious disorder; I said emotional or spiritual disorder. Such problems can be resolved with prayer, the sacraments, practicing the virtues,  possibly the help of a mature wise person and time. None of us is perfect. We all have our struggles.
    Quote
    How to overcome being socially indifferent?

    is the title you gave this thread. If you ask a question, be thankful that people here have the decency to answer you, whether or not they agree with each other.

    Your OP reads
    Quote
    Worst of all, I don't even like some of the catholics that I befriend and I don't even like children or babies.

    *You acknowledge ("worst of all"), that you perceive your situation as bad. (Worst is the superlative of bad.)
    *Even the Catholics you befriend you don't like, which shows you to be unnatural in your relationship with people, and possible insincere.
    *Some spoilt children can be obnoxious but disliking babies shows a disordered state of mind.

    And you end with
    Quote
    What can I do?
    Another question looking for solutions.

    Some here say you are just fine. My opinion is that you are a troubled person. As I said I will pray for you and hope you do the same for me. That's why we are here.


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    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.

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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #26 on: August 12, 2022, 12:52:20 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2022, 04:50:15 PM
    I briefly remember when I was a child, I was very outgoing, totally a leader among the children and enjoyed being the center of attention. As I grew up I just became more and more indifferent to people, mostly because I don't find things that interest me at all in most people today. I just don't care. I don't care about the things, the celebrity, the TV and all that they like unless I actually enjoy it. And at this point I already don't see any point in talking with people at all. And ever since I became a catholic, I forced myself to be social, warm and friendly to people, but to be honest a lot of time I don't even want to spare a second look at most of the people and I don't even see the meaning of having a social connection with them. Someone told me "you can't live with only catholic friends". I know it's probably true. And I know it's probably against charity for me to rather live in solitude. Worst of all, I don't even like some of the catholics that I befriend and I don't even like children or babies. What can I do?
    Patrick, is that you?(American Psycho reference)

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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #27 on: August 12, 2022, 07:05:13 AM »
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    • After reading some other people's comments above and especially the book chapter above I've decided there's a good reason for me to abandon my worries on this issue and actually not to actively befriend those Catholic that I've mentioned anymore, because they're either worldly or modernized, and there's nothing holy in forming friendship with them. I only worried about being socially indifferent because I thought it would be against charity, but looks like it's not. 
    Also I don't know how some people on this forum would talk with people in your daily life, I appreciate all of you responding, but I think some were being quite rude in this post. Even though I think I usually am quite frank, I don't think I would say things the way like "I think you have disorder" or "I think you're a troubled person" You really don't need to say those if all solution you offer is "go pray about it"
    And since we got this far, I'm curious, are all of you fond of babies? To me, a lot of time, they are just really irrational and unpredictable, that's why I'm afraid of them.
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    Offline sram

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #28 on: August 12, 2022, 10:19:52 AM »
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    • Yeah, man, forget people. Become an ascetic monk or hermit praying to, and serving, God. Even with your disposition, you can still know, serve and love God in your life. That's the most important law that will always stand.
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    Offline epiphany

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    Re: How to overcome being socially indifferent?
    « Reply #29 on: August 12, 2022, 10:30:36 AM »
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    • Quote from: sram on August 12, 2022, 10:19:52 AM
    Yeah, man, forget people. Become an ascetic monk or hermit praying to, and serving, God. Even with your disposition, you can still know, serve and love God in your life. That's the most important law that will always stand.

    Matthew 22:
    Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind.  This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to this: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments dependeth the whole law and the prophets.
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