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Author Topic: How to make up for scandalizing family members  (Read 2019 times)

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Änσnymσus

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How to make up for scandalizing family members
« on: January 14, 2024, 07:49:06 AM »
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    • I attempted to convert 2 family members but I was full of bitter zeal, said things I shouldn’t have, insulted them, and of course it did NOT result in them getting any nearer to the truth. They were probably scandalized by my stupid and horrible behavior.

    I wish I could take it all back and done things differently but of course that’s impossible. 

    At this point I’m just wondering what I can do to make up for my nonsense.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #1 on: January 14, 2024, 08:03:05 AM »
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    • The best way to convert people is through the example of your holy life. Especially if you have repented of sins.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #2 on: January 14, 2024, 08:24:50 AM »
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    • I would apologize.  Then give it a rest/time.
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    Offline Emile

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #3 on: January 14, 2024, 09:12:48 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on January 14, 2024, 07:49:06 AM
    I attempted to convert 2 family members but I was full of bitter zeal, said things I shouldn’t have, insulted them, and of course it did NOT result in them getting any nearer to the truth. They were probably scandalized by my stupid and horrible behavior.

    I wish I could take it all back and done things differently but of course that’s impossible.

    At this point I’m just wondering what I can do to make up for my nonsense.
    Just apologize. If you can't do it in person, write them a note.
    Candid humility like you've shown here might do more to bring them towards the Truth than debating/arguing anyway.
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    If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?

    ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #4 on: January 14, 2024, 12:31:13 PM »
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    • You are not alone.  Best to apologize.  

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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #5 on: January 14, 2024, 12:37:00 PM »
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    • I mailed a anonymous letter to my niece correcting her on the dangers of witchcraft.  I included a booklet that included holy scripture too.  Poor young people today try to fit in and aren’t prepared to stand for their faith.  

    And regards to my parents, I limit my contact but my husband and I are there for them in case of emergencies.    

    When you do try to evangelize do it in a gentle manner.   Be patient.    And pray and fast.   This is for me too. 

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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #6 on: January 14, 2024, 01:43:34 PM »
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    • I think it depends on what was actually said and what you apologize for.  I don't think anyone should ever apologize for saying the truth but instead on how it was said or how you came across.  If you told them "If you don't convert to the One True Faith you will go to Hell."  Then you should not apologize or retract.  If you said the same thing but with a lot of extra insulting words then you should apologize for HOW you said it but not for WHAT you said.  So more context needed for more accurate answer.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #7 on: January 14, 2024, 01:59:21 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on January 14, 2024, 01:43:34 PM
    I think it depends on what was actually said and what you apologize for.  I don't think anyone should ever apologize for saying the truth but instead on how it was said or how you came across.  If you told them "If you don't convert to the One True Faith you will go to Hell."  Then you should not apologize or retract.  If you said the same thing but with a lot of extra insulting words then you should apologize for HOW you said it but not for WHAT you said.  So more context needed for more accurate answer.
    It's true that one shouldn't apologize for speaking the Truth, but the OP expressed, sufficiently in my opinion, that they failed somewhat in Charity by stating, "I was full of bitter zeal, said things I shouldn’t have, insulted them".

     4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up  5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: How to make up for scandalizing family members
    « Reply #8 on: January 17, 2024, 05:43:01 AM »
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    • Swallow your pride.  Pick up the phone; calls to everyone you scandalized.  Tell them you realized you came across as the rear view of a horse.  Apologize, ask forgiveness.  Whether it’s granted or not, get on with it.  Oh, and if was mortally sinful or a frequent venial sin, go to Confession.  
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