Author Topic: How should a wife respond to discipline? (Read 1314 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** May 13, 2020, 03:35:54 PM »

I originally posted this in the "Disciplining your wife", but really think it deserves its own topic.

Should this discipline take place in front of the children?

What should be a wife's response to either verbal or physical discipline?

And what if said discipline is given in anger, as a means of hurting the other person, rather than being done out of charity, for the true good of their soul? What recourse does the wife have then?

I only ask because my husband verbally corrects me--out of anger, very often with a raised voice and hurtful words (ie: stupid) in front of my children. Now that my sons are turning older, they too yell, criticize, or blame me when things go wrong.

I'm especially interested in the thoughts of those who advocate for wifely discipline. If done incorrectly, it can and does affect your wife's thoughts and care for you and the attitudes of the children towards their mother.

Don't get me wrong--I am not a saint and in the instances where I truly require correction, I will accept it. But should the manner in which it is given be so harsh that it leaves your wife in tears because she has been humiliated in front of your children, again? What about innocent mistakes or simple forgetfulness due to the vast number of demands made on her from a large family? Attempting to give an explanation is often viewed as "talking back" when one is merely trying to explain why something did or didn't happen.

I have been so hurt by things my husband has said and done to correct me that I have come to the conclusion that I have disappointed him in his choice of spouse.

I ask again, what should a woman do in cases like these?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #1 on:** May 13, 2020, 03:51:22 PM »

If you can bear it, accept the correction calmly as punishment you deserve for your sins. Unless it is a danger to your safety and that of your children. If it is too much to bear then you can complain to your husband.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #2 on:** May 13, 2020, 03:51:55 PM »

Only three "domestic abuse" / "wife discipline" threads this month?

Come on people, pick up the pace. Let's see at least five more of these before Memorial Day.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** May 13, 2020, 03:57:28 PM »

Are you guys serious?

Your husband doesn’t have a right to talk to you that way. Just like you don’t have the right to talk to him this way. Your husband and you are a scandal to the children.

I love how when people start searching for the faith, and maybe even tradition, they can happen upon this lot and see wife beaters, and fake theologians.

I try and use public forums to help women come out do feminism, to become the women God calls them to be, and to be their husbands helper. But they see stuff like this, which isn’t even based in the Bible, or any concrete teachings, they go running back to feminism. How much scandal do you think you’ve all caused her by allowing such things to continue?

Ladislaus · « **Reply #4 on:** May 13, 2020, 05:38:23 PM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 13, 2020, 03:57:28 PM

But they see stuff like this, which isn’t even based in the Bible, or any concrete teachings, they go running back to feminism.

I marvel about how so many people base their principles on emotional rather than rational considerations. Just because someone commits a sin, it doesn't mean that what he believes in or stands for is necessarily invalidated. It's like those people who leave the Church because some priests became pederasts. Just because some priests became pederasts, what does that have to do with the rational/theological claims of the Church? Just because some husband has issues with his temper or sometimes acts like a jerk, how does that now justify the embracing of feminism?

There was a story, I can't remember the details of time or place, where during the age of the corrupt Popes and curia, a simple new convert wanted to visit Rome. But his mentor tried to persuade him, believing that the corruption in Rome would shake his faith. After having seen it, however, he stated that his faith was even stronger. His mentor marveled at this and asked how it could be. He replied that if the Church could last and be so strong despite such corruption, then it must be of God.

I believe it was Evelyn Waugh who was known for an ill temper. Someone criticized him, questioning how he could act like he did being a Catholic who went to daily Mass. His response was along the lines of, "Imagine what I'd be like if I wasn't a Catholic and didn't go to Mass every day."

People sin, but personal sin has nothing to do with what's right and wrong, and what's good and bad.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #5 on:** May 13, 2020, 07:52:58 PM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 13, 2020, 03:35:54 PM

I originally posted this in the "Disciplining your wife", but really think it deserves its own topic.

Should this discipline take place in front of the children?

What should be a wife's response to either verbal or physical discipline?

And what if said discipline is given in anger, as a means of hurting the other person, rather than being done out of charity, for the true good of their soul? What recourse does the wife have then?

I only ask because my husband verbally corrects me--out of anger, very often with a raised voice and hurtful words (ie: stupid) in front of my children. Now that my sons are turning older, they too yell, criticize, or blame me when things go wrong.

I'm especially interested in the thoughts of those who advocate for wifely discipline. If done incorrectly, it can and does affect your wife's thoughts and care for you and the attitudes of the children towards their mother.

Don't get me wrong--I am not a saint and in the instances where I truly require correction, I will accept it. But should the manner in which it is given be so harsh that it leaves your wife in tears because she has been humiliated in front of your children, again? What about innocent mistakes or simple forgetfulness due to the vast number of demands made on her from a large family? Attempting to give an explanation is often viewed as "talking back" when one is merely trying to explain why something did or didn't happen.

I have been so hurt by things my husband has said and done to correct me that I have come to the conclusion that I have disappointed him in his choice of spouse.

I ask again, what should a woman do in cases like these?

Based on the little information provided, I'd suggest you ask yoyr husband to discipline in private. It's obvious that your sons did not get the message correctly. And, if they are disrespectful to you, you must discipline them. It's your right and duty as a mother to correct them.

Geremia · « **Reply #6 on:** May 19, 2020, 07:14:30 PM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 13, 2020, 03:35:54 PM

Should this discipline take place in front of the children?

If her sin adversely affects the children, for example: if the wife tells a blatant untruth (like: "God doesn't exist!"), that should be immediately corrected since that harms the children.
If her sin isn't known to the children, she should be corrected privately. To reveal her secret sin to her children would be the sin of detraction.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** May 19, 2020, 07:59:23 PM »

From what you said, your husband sounds like a total jerk.
My father would never have done that to my mother, because
she would have responded.
.
It sounds like this has been going on for a long time. I would
buy a container of Mace and spray him the next time it happens.
If he does not like it, he can deal with it in court, where the
woman usually wins.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** May 20, 2020, 11:31:26 AM »

Hi there,

In the other thread, I wrote a very long response to your question.

Did you read it? Would you like me to repost it here? Or do you want to respond to it?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #9 on:** May 20, 2020, 11:32:33 AM »

Quote from: Geremia on May 19, 2020, 07:14:30 PM

If her sin adversely affects the children, for example: if the wife tells a blatant untruth (like: "God doesn't exist!"), that should be immediately corrected since that harms the children.
If her sin isn't known to the children, she should be corrected privately. To reveal her secret sin to her children would be the sin of detraction.

Very well put Geremia. For once.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #10 on:** May 20, 2020, 11:34:26 AM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 13, 2020, 03:57:28 PM

I try and use public forums to help women come out do feminism, to become the women God calls them to be, and to be their husbands helper. But they see stuff like this, which isn’t even based in the Bible, or any concrete teachings, they go running back to feminism. How much scandal do you think you’ve all caused her by allowing such things to continue?

The moral theology books and the theologians have established that this is legit. We have bee through this. Where have you been?
If you don't agree that discipline is allowed, you are NOT A TRADITIONAL CATHOLIC.

Please go back to the Novus Ordo where you belong.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #11 on:** May 20, 2020, 11:37:16 AM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 13, 2020, 03:51:55 PM

Only three "domestic abuse" / "wife discipline" threads this month?

Come on people, pick up the pace. Let's see at least five more of these before Memorial Day.

You make a joke, and it is funny. But there is a good reason why this is topical. People are locked up in their homes with this scamdemic, and there are a lot of this going on, whether true discipline or not.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #12 on:** May 20, 2020, 11:58:16 AM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 20, 2020, 11:31:26 AM

Hi there,

In the other thread, I wrote a very long response to your question.

Did you read it? Would you like me to repost it here? Or do you want to respond to it?

Yes, I did read it, and wanted to respond, but it got lost in all the pages.

Anyway, after giving it some thought, I think you're right. It does seem to stem--at least in part--from an over-zealousness on his part. He's a very particular individual, and holds himself up to very high standards.

Thank you for your insights and suggestions. They've been helpful!

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** May 20, 2020, 01:24:59 PM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 20, 2020, 11:37:16 AM

You make a joke, and it is funny. But there is a good reason why this is topical. People are locked up in their homes with this scamdemic, and there are a lot of this going on, whether true discipline or not.

Speaking of the scamdemic, a truly Catholic home at this time will likely have an increase in Rosaries, Bible study and catechism classes which are not likely to create an atmosphere in which and kind of correction from the head of the family would be needed.
On the other hand, immature males who fail to understand the responsibility before God of being the head of the family may be inclined to take out their frustrations about the loss of their job, the loss of income, a noisy home filled with noisy children, etc. on his wife (for whom he is supposed to be willing to lay down his life).
The adversary, after pumping him up with rage, may whisper into his ear that his wife "needs" to be "disciplined."
Will he confess his sin of anger?
Or will he believe the enemy's lie that his wife deserved it?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #14 on:** May 21, 2020, 02:51:12 AM »

Quote from: Anonymous on May 20, 2020, 01:24:59 PM

Speaking of the scamdemic, a truly Catholic home at this time will likely have an increase in Rosaries, Bible study and catechism classes which are not likely to create an atmosphere in which and kind of correction from the head of the family would be needed.
On the other hand, immature males who fail to understand the responsibility before God of being the head of the family may be inclined to take out their frustrations about the loss of their job, the loss of income, a noisy home filled with noisy children, etc. on his wife (for whom he is supposed to be willing to lay down his life).
The adversary, after pumping him up with rage, may whisper into his ear that his wife "needs" to be "disciplined."
Will he confess his sin of anger?
Or will he believe the enemy's lie that his wife deserved it?

ok I understand.
Men are going to be the only ones sinning while locked up at home, but women are not.
And people think trads are not affected by our matriarchical society!

Author Topic: How should a wife respond to discipline? (Read 1314 times)

Änσnymσus

How should a wife respond to discipline?

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