Author Topic: Have any other converts struggled with this? (Read 741 times)

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **on:** April 20, 2012, 09:26:37 PM »

Hi, anonymous poster.

I've never had many friends, but I understand how you must feel. Having said that, you should call to mind that the number of friends we have on earth really does not matter. Friends come and go; they will often either let you down or abandon you. God, however, will never let you down. So do not become discouraged or depressed over the small amount of friends you have. Turn to God and you will never be lonely.

I should add that a Catholic should not seek to have Protestant friends anyway. You should seek Catholic friends, and not worry about what heretics think of you and your Catholic Faith.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #1 on:** April 21, 2012, 07:17:09 AM »

The world hates Catholics, but what's worse is the way worldly Catholics despise other Catholics for being despised by the world.

Indeed, I've come to the conclusion that Catholics are often more worldly than non-Catholics, and more prone to rejecting fellow Catholics for being Catholic than non-Catholics are.

s2srea · « **Reply #2 on:** April 21, 2012, 09:02:30 AM »

Quote from: Guest

Dear anonymous, my conversion was much like yours - nearly all from books - and it still is.

The Christian life is a call to perfection which in fact requires you to become supernatural (above nature or the default path), since the rejection of sin is very much against the trend. This is incomprehensible to most people, even many Catholics who often lack humility and therefore are not open to the necessary graces required. By their lack of understanding you appear strange to them and so they reject you, but know that by this you are on the right path, because it is part your transformation - your eyes are being opened. So as you grow in the Faith you will be tried and tested, again and again, and at each turn where you choose Christ you will find, often painfully, that you are going it alone, just as He did.

However do not worry about this, because it is actually a well trodden path! Through my own conversion, I lost the friendship of many family members, most friends, and have been oftentimes persecuted by work colleagues because I am a Traditional Catholic (which is in fact nothing more or less than a True Believer, a follower of Jesus), yet we are taught to joyfully accept such persecution and offer it up as a way to share in Christ's suffering.

I do not know if my sufferings will end up being for nothing, because I have not yet tasted the reward of heaven, but I can confidently say that each trial is always some how cleverly set up so as to cast doubt and test one's bravery to the limit, but by standing fast by the Faith through prayer and the sacraments (if you can get them!), the trial passes and it all becomes clear once again. Savour those moments where you come to grasp elements of what must be the Beatific Vision, and be strengthened by the memory of faithful departed, especially those you may have known yourself. Some of them will have been along a very similar path to yours, and have prevailed.

Trust that God will take care of your material needs, and that He will provide you with the companionship and friendship that you need, at the right times. Whatever trials you undergo, God will have the solution already prepared for you and is always there, walking beside you. But for a strong faith, times of loneliness are somehow necessary, as they allow you to see for yourself the internal consistency of your beliefs and will lead you to understand anew, and ever better, the real meaning of Christ's Passion.

Bravo !

jen51 · « **Reply #3 on:** April 21, 2012, 08:46:57 PM »

I suspect that what you are experiencing is very common. I'm a recent convert and am experiencing what you described full force at the moment, so you are not alone! Converting, or becoming more serious about your faith (which is a conversion as well, I suppose), has been the beginning of what I call "the great purgation" in my life. Losing friends seems to be one of the many things that has accompanied my conversion that has caused much pain.

I was very involved in my Protestant circle. I was quite the social butterfly. Hardly a day went by without me hanging out with a group of friends or spending one on one time with friends. My recently received and dialed list on my phone had, on any given day, at least 8 or 9 calls from different people. Now, I'm lucky if I get one phone call a day... and its usually my mom. Lol. I have only one good, solid, catholic friend; he happens to be the one who converted me. And we don't speak that often anymore, since he's a guy and I'm a gal. The transition has been really hard, and lonliness is definately something that creeps up on me. I've had a hard time meeting people at my parish, especially young single folks that I can be friends with.

The few Protestant friends that made it through my conversion with me are wonderful and I love them dearly, but there is still much strain on our relationships due to doctrinal differences. Because of this, communication becomes less, and the friendship tie continues to weaken.

If you are anything like me, becoming more serious about your faith has included a big lifestyle overhaul. My conversion completely switched my way of living life. The way I talk with God, the way I worship, the activities that I participate in, the kind of stuff that entertains me... these have all changed based upon my discovery of good Catholic teaching and culture. Its not that I suddenly started disliking my friends, its that we suddenly had very little in common anymore.

Spending less time with friends left a great opportunity for intimacy with God. I now spend a great deal of time in prayer, doing spiritual reading, listening to sermons, etc. I do things like writing letters now. I didn't have time before. I think this friend depletion in a way was God getting my attention and letting me know I had been neglecting him. My advice is to use this time to develop a strong friendship with Our Lord.

Being a largely sanguine personality, I need friendship though. That is why I started cruising traditional Catholic forums. I started posting more and reading others posts. Eventually I got brave and private messaged a couple people whom I either respected, found hilarious or entertaining, felt a connection to or all of the above, and got to know them better. Suddenly those names on a screen became real life friends, and that has been absolutely wonderful. I hope to meet them in person at some point in the future. If you don't have a screenname already, maybe you should get one and begin building some relationships with some people here or on another forum.

An ave for you.

Blessings to you, anonymous. :)

TradCatholic39452 · « **Reply #4 on:** April 21, 2012, 11:20:38 PM »

I had pretty much the same experience. Most of the people I spoke with before converting I do not speak with any more. I run into them from time to time and some are more favorable to me than others. I was mostly hanging out with Protestants and people in 12 step programs and they did not like me criticizing all of their errors.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 01, 2012, 07:42:39 AM »

I converted to Novus Ordo from Protestantism in 1996. Within 3 years, most of my friends had slowly and quietly drifted away. I was living in the Deep South then, so I just attributed it to lack of understanding. But when my family, all Southern Baptists and United Methodists, began to criticize me for my conversion, I was really hurt. It got really lonely.

Occasionally, someone would come for one of our children's Baptisms or First Communion, but they didn't really understand it anyway, so eventually I just quit contemplating on it.

When we left the Novus Ordo two years ago for SSPX, we were shunned almost entirely. Our best friends, Godparents to 2 of our children, haven't spoken to us in over a year. When I saw one of them recently, she smiled and raced off the other way. Sad.

But...Our Lord warned us that this would happen so we could be prepared. He has also seen fit to send us new friends and opportunities.

Yes, being a traditional Catholic can be a lonely life. And I understand the motivation people have for moving to places like St. Mary's.

Eventually, I quit worrying so much about it and I have found some inner peace. I read a lot of spiritual books and I try to call my new friends on occasion and get together with them. I have much confidence that Our Lord knows what He is doing and understands my heart.

I also believe that He works things in His own time. This weekend my sister, (we have different mothers) came for a visit. We have not been close and we are very different people, but....

She went to Mass with us and the sermon was actually about a subject with which we had been discussing the day before.

While the door to my mother's side of the family is closed tight as a drum, Our Lord has opened up another in an unexpected place. That is what I think He does.

Personally, I believe it is all for our good and His glory. Do we really need the influences of worldly people? Shouldn't we just rely on the Lord and the people He places in our lives to give us encouragement, hope, and love?

That is how I look at it anyway.

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #6 on:** May 01, 2012, 10:48:24 PM »

Quote from: CathMomof7

When we left the Novus Ordo two years ago for SSPX, we were shunned almost entirely. Our best friends, Godparents to 2 of our children, haven't spoken to us in over a year. When I saw one of them recently, she smiled and raced off the other way. Sad.

The response from Catholics is what has always had me perplexed. All those years I sat in a Novus Ordo Mass shaking my head and saying, mostly to myself, something is wrong here. I flew willingly and lovingly to the TLM - it answered all my questions and I realized then that the N.O. is a completely fabricated fake mass. Wouldn't people who claim to love the Catholic Church fly to the Truth? Do these Catholics say they love the New Church because it fixed itself from the bad old church? That doesn't make any sense, not from the perspective of one who tries to love God more and more every day.