ATTENTION!
IF I WANT TO WALLOW IN FILTH OF THIS SORT, I'LL TUNE IN TO DAY TIME TV TRASH TALK SHOWS.
Frances, I think the OP is sincerely seeking advice.
I am not sure what to say except that it is obviously a bad choice. From what I have heard, besides the obvious moral problems, the women who do that for a living have incredibly low "self esteem" (probably an effect of being stared at lustfully all day, but then again it probably led them to their job in the first place) and so regularly attract the worst kind of men, most of whom are incredibly abusive, both physically and emotionally. These types of women, knowing they have no other options, put up with the abuse and, over time, provoke it as a twisted means of validation. In general, it seems to be a good environment for producing depression, self-hatred, and borderline insanity - not to mention dysfunctional relationships, especially (I imagine) with one's own children.
If she will not listen to your pleas for morality and the state of her soul, perhaps she can be scared away from pursuing something that will confuse her children, invite bad influences into her life, and most likely lead to her own misery. Let's try to imagine what the life of an "exotic dancer" is like as a means of illustrating the point. Besides what I've already mentioned, the people she would be working with are most likely all into drugs and many of them offer themselves as prostitutes on the side (when they're not performing their regular job). In the long run, she will probably not be able to bond with anybody honestly and openly without fearing their judgment, which will lead to a deep sense of loneliness and worthlessness that will be her companion until the day she dies.
Most respectable people she once knew will be embarrassed to be associated with her (including the majority of her own family), most of her social circle will be on the border of the criminal underclass or actually regularly involved in petty crimes, and she will, after aging prematurely and having to go into another line of work, have nobody she could converse with and learn from to expand her mind. She will probably pick up the habit of smoking too many cigarettes, which will make her look wrinkly and haggard and ruin her teeth and voice. She will have a decade of destroying her self-confidence under her belt, though, so she will lack the discipline and drive to quit. Most likely, she will have a drinking problem as well. She will be lucky if she is able to keep herself away from drugs. From drugs and alcohol abuse and self-hatred, she might also stoop to occasional prostitution.
In addition, she will have no credentials to get a better means of employment later in life (since her resume will be an embarrassment). Her brief moment of employability will be over and she will have no personal experiences that other workplaces find valuable. She will finish up her sad life in a far worse state than she could possibly be in now, won't be able to relate to her children, will have strained and weird relationships with her grandkids and nephews and nieces, and therefore would only be beginning a cycle of self-destruction that will ultimately result in her being little more than pitiful husk of what was once a young woman. If she becomes pregnant again, which is not unlikely, she will most likely be pressured into having an abortion by the father of her child. It's unlikely that she will have the moral capacity and confidence to resist the pressure put upon her, though, and she will most likely yield and regretfully murder her own son or daughter. This will be motivated, I imagine, less by a feeling of helplessness in the face of a burdensome situation and more by a general feeling of desperation and helplessness in the face of living every day.
Most people who know what she does won't scorn her for moral reasons (though they would be more than justified in doing so). On the contrary, they will be given deep feelings of sadness and pity whenever they see her. In addition, they will hardly be able to relate and will awkwardly try to distance themselves instead. They will try to sympathise as much as they can, but they will find her reasoning process of how she justified getting into her line of work to be so ridiculous that they can't make sense of it. Instead, they will assume that she is just a lost soul who was probably molested when she was a child and they will feel the most abject regret when they think of her.
That's the best scenario. What is also likely is that they will be entirely indifferent to her and have no respect for her whatsoever, looking at her as urban detritus, somebody who gave away all her dignity for unfathomable reasons (most likely too depressing to seriously consider), a human train-wreck akin to trash stuck in a storm drain grate. If she tries to stand up for herself, people will resent her and want her to shut up immediately. People will feel like they can ignore her phone calls and invitations, and she will be reduced to child-like begging or else cooperating with other girls like her just for the sake of survival. If she claims that she got into her job because she chose it and wanted it, then nobody will feel any sympathy and they will look down on her as the most loathsome and vile trash, like a pornographic actress or prostitute... which is basically what she will be.
Yeah, she could make some easy cash in the short run, but in the long run she will likely have less than ten people at her funeral, if she knows anybody who will pay for one.
I don't know your cousin, obviously, but it seems like she is not receptive to appeals to piety and virtue. So maybe you could bring all of this up by saying something like, "Hey, let's think about this some more. What would your life turn out like if you went down this road? It's not in your best interest. It's bad for you. It's a cutthroat environment, all the people you know will be embarrassed, your own children will be, those people all do drugs, they're notorious for getting into abusive relationships, they'll be your only friends, you will never be the same, etc."
If you are thoughtful and resourceful, maybe you could het her to listen to your case and she will have enough misgivings and anxiety about it that she will reconsider and look for some other way of making ends meet. I find thinking abut these matters to be really sad, as I am sure you do, too. I will keep you and your cousin in my prayers. I know you don't need a reminder, but of course pray to Our Lady in the Holy Rosary for help with your cousin. I will do the same, and surely the Blessed Mother will get the graces from the Sacred Heart of Our Lord such that your cousin is protected from this snare of the devil.
God bless you for having the humility to ask for advice in such a difficult matter!
Topic: exotic dancer (Read 3154 times)