Yes, people with pasts can change and be good people. However, people who aren’t “damaged goods” may not want other damaged goods because that’s a liability. It’s the same reason why someone who’s a virgin wants another virgin to marry. It’s what it is when you have a past. And you aren’t immune to your past or how you grew up.

To answer OP’s question, if you are a child of divorce, that’s not your fault. But you are responsible for your own actions. It could go a few ways, the divorce disgusts the child and they vow never to get a divorce and work on the marriage. This might be rare for many people. But most people who have divorced parents will eventually divorce themselves or seek broken people as their spouse. The last way is that they never marry and stay single. So it can depend on the individual themselves.

But a bad marriage can also negatively affect children and that could lead to a divorce. If their family is dysfunctional and that’s all they know.

Divorce does damage the children.

But what about if the father of the children is abusive?  What if the mother leaves the home with her children because she's being abused and doesn't want to abandon her children?  Because knowing if she leaves, she'll never be allowed to see them again...What if DCS/CPS is involved?  The mother has the children, and the father refuses to cooperate with the state, to the point of not going to visits?  Nor is he even attempting to support the children. 

This is happening to me.  I felt compelled to file for divorce in order to be able to stay with my children, and to be able to get the CPS people back out of our lives.

In my state, to file for a legal seperation requires the signature of both parties, and agreement for the custody of the children.  That's not ever going to happen.  I spoke with 3 priests, one of whom is a resistance priest, and checked with 2 other resistance priests (all associated with Bishop Zendejas in some way) and they all stated that in this situation it was allowable. 

NOT acceptable.  ALLOWABLE. 

Yes.  It does damage the children.  Yes.  People make fun of them.  I have to be extremely vigilant about my behavior in order not to cause scandal.  In my case, I tell the children that we ARE still married.  Absolutely.  I look at it as the state is dissolving the legal paperwork on it's end, it's not dissolving or breaking any vows made before God.  Those still stand. 

Does that make it right?  No.  Is it still an inherent evil destroying society?  Yes.  Am I partaking in that evil?  Yes.  But what is the alternative?  This way I will have full care of my children, some means of guaranteeing he will provide for his children, and protection for them.

If anyone has any better suggestions, please feel free to state them here.  I would love to get out of this mess without finalizing anything.

Regarding the children:
1.  They saw their father abuse their mother verbally, mentally, emotionally.  Name calling, isolation, yelling, denying medical care, telling me I'm the devil...they heard and saw all this.
2.  They saw their paternal grandparents use religion as a weapon to further enable their son's behavior.  They heard their grandparents attempt to cast devils out of me, blaspheme the Catholic Church
3.  They were told they would go to Hell if they followed and listened to me. 

My children displayed the following effects of witnessing this trauma, all within a 4 month time period:

-depression, nightmares, bedwetting, bowel and bladder incontinence, regression on potty-training, anxiety, sleeplessness, selective mutism, lying, increased physical aggression, menstrual spotting in my 9 year old, loss of appetite, etc.

They told me they didn't feel safe, they wanted to leave, they were going to leave as soon as they were 18, they wanted to run away, they hated it there, they don't trust anyone, they never want to get married.

Yes.  My children are "damaged goods" as Matthew so bluntly put it. 

A legal divorce adds a level of protection that mere seperation doesn't provide.  I tried it first, and it didn't work. 

I guess my point in this post is, YES divorce is always an evil.  YES it does affect the children.  But sometimes the children are affected already, anyway. 

Divorce does damage the children.

But what about if the father of the children is abusive?  What if the mother leaves the home with her children because she's being abused and doesn't want to abandon her children?  Because knowing if she leaves, she'll never be allowed to see them again...What if DCS/CPS is involved?  The mother has the children, and the father refuses to cooperate with the state, to the point of not going to visits?  Nor is he even attempting to support the children. 

This is happening to me.  I felt compelled to file for divorce in order to be able to stay with my children, and to be able to get the CPS people back out of our lives.

In my state, to file for a legal seperation requires the signature of both parties, and agreement for the custody of the children.  That's not ever going to happen.  I spoke with 3 priests, one of whom is a resistance priest, and checked with 2 other resistance priests (all associated with Bishop Zendejas in some way) and they all stated that in this situation it was allowable. 

NOT acceptable.  ALLOWABLE. 

Yes.  It does damage the children.  Yes.  People make fun of them.  I have to be extremely vigilant about my behavior in order not to cause scandal.  In my case, I tell the children that we ARE still married.  Absolutely.  I look at it as the state is dissolving the legal paperwork on it's end, it's not dissolving or breaking any vows made before God.  Those still stand. 

Does that make it right?  No.  Is it still an inherent evil destroying society?  Yes.  Am I partaking in that evil?  Yes.  But what is the alternative?  This way I will have full care of my children, some means of guaranteeing he will provide for his children, and protection for them.

If anyone has any better suggestions, please feel free to state them here.  I would love to get out of this mess without finalizing anything.

Regarding the children:
1.  They saw their father abuse their mother verbally, mentally, emotionally.  Name calling, isolation, yelling, denying medical care, telling me I'm the devil...they heard and saw all this.
2.  They saw their paternal grandparents use religion as a weapon to further enable their son's behavior.  They heard their grandparents attempt to cast devils out of me, blaspheme the Catholic Church
3.  They were told they would go to Hell if they followed and listened to me. 

My children displayed the following effects of witnessing this trauma, all within a 4 month time period:

-depression, nightmares, bedwetting, bowel and bladder incontinence, regression on potty-training, anxiety, sleeplessness, selective mutism, lying, increased physical aggression, menstrual spotting in my 9 year old, loss of appetite, etc.

They told me they didn't feel safe, they wanted to leave, they were going to leave as soon as they were 18, they wanted to run away, they hated it there, they don't trust anyone, they never want to get married.

Yes.  My children are "damaged goods" as Matthew so bluntly put it. 

A legal divorce adds a level of protection that mere seperation doesn't provide.  I tried it first, and it didn't work. 

I guess my point in this post is, YES divorce is always an evil.  YES it does affect the children.  But sometimes the children are affected already, anyway. 

In my case, I had dated a traditional girl recently from family whose parents divorced when they she was still a child. She crashed/flaked out of the whole thing over nothing and it was really puzzling to me. She is a traditional Catholic.

Lol no.
She's a virgin.

MAYBE they just weren't compatible.

Sheesh.