I have a question regarding an adult child's level of communication with their parents.  It's something I'm really struggling with lately.  

After marriage, I moved 2,000 plus miles away, where my husband had a business and home.  I've only seen my parents intermittently through the years; they have a severely handicapped son and cannot travel with him, and do not feel comfortable leaving him at home with a caretaker at that distance--which is ok; I understand that.  The last time I was home was 5 years ago.  

In the last 15 years of our marriage, I think my mom has only called to chat maybe twice; my dad never.  They never call for birthdays, holidays, or our anniversary.  Their excuse is, "You're so busy, we don't want to bother you."  They don't email, or write.  I've done the bulk of maintaining communication.  

Last year I had some PPD after the birth of our son--to the point my midwife reccommended professional counseling, medication, and no children for a year.  I let my parents know via email, but they never ONCE called or made an effort to see how I've been doing.  Pretty much since then I've only called to speak to them on Holidays.  Now, I called and left a message on Mother's Day, asking them to call back (even though they've never returned calls before).  When they didn't, I sent an email, and told them I was expecting again.  No response....

I am so hurt by this; I just want to not call or email, just to see how long it'd be before they pick up the phone, or reach out.  I know that sounds juvenile...I suppose it's female emotions aided by pregnancy hormones.  I spoke to my husband about it, and he said, "Well, it's up to you, but I wouldn't worry about calling them anymore.  I know that sounds cold, but...." and that was it.  

I don't want to react out of anger, and be childish.  I would appreciate some sound, level-headed advice.  If I sound whiny and emotional, I apologize for that, too.  I just feel so hurt to be so far away and not have contact with any of my family...I have nieces and nephews I've never even seen--no pictures, nothing.  After so many years, I just feel DONE.  Of course I want to do what Our Lord would want, but I don't want to be hurt anymore, either.   Advice?

The parable of the Prodigal Son comes to mind, to some degree here.

I would say you have done your due diligence as a child to your parents. You have your own family and household to worry about now. So, if they choose not to maintain contact, in my book, that is on them. I'm sure there may come a point where they realize the comfort that came from a child that was so devoted to maintaining contact, but, they would have to come to terms with that on their own. It is not as though you have been maliciously trying to avoid them or have been refusing to talk to them, they simply are not holding up their end of the relationship.

OP here.

Thank you for the thoughts, and the prayers.  Always much appreciated!  

I've come to the conclusion, too, that I've done my part; but I didn't want to act maliciously or out of spite.  Thank you again.

As my oldest nephew said of his deadbeat father, “If he wants a relationship with me, he knows where to find me.”

In the last 15 years of our marriage, I think my mom has only called to chat maybe twice; my dad never.  They never call for birthdays, holidays, or our anniversary.  Their excuse is, "You're so busy, we don't want to bother you."

It sounds like they don't have any desire to be a part of your life. That's so sad.
I'm in a similar situation, and a good traditional priest suggested I keep the lines of communication open: respond if they reach out to you, but don't annoy them.

Were your parents unhappy when you married? 

I am author of the above post.  Forgot to hit the button.