In traditional cultures, it was assumed safely that the girl was a virgin. A man wouldn't need to feel insecure about it.

If you are a man who really cares about it, then don't marry an american woman. Go to asia and marry a young woman, by first meeting her family and sizing her up that way.

If you can handle that your wife has possibly been with someone else, then just put it out of your mind.

Neither men nor women have a right to know about such things.

A woman who would insist that a man believe her word, in this day and age, that she hasn't...

Hey, if that's you Croix, just a reminder, I *can* see who posts in the anonymous subforum.

If you are so inclined to hire someone to spy on her then she should not marry YOU. I would never trust a man who had such little trust in me. Better not to marry at all. Or find another man.

Sounds like there's something in your past that you wouldn't want a suitor to know about. Hm.........

Whether a woman can can form a strong emotional bond should be clear from her behavior over a few dates.

So from that perspective, I don't think inquiring about virginity is needed.

Does a woman have a right to know that her fiance has same sex attraction but not acted on it?

Does a woman have a right to know that her fiance has had relationships with men in the past?  She could be exposed to AIDS or other disease by marrying him.  

Yes on both counts. Dishonesty -- INCLUDING HIDING OF IMPORTANT, RELEVANT FACTS with a bearing on the future -- even if it doesn't invalidate the marriage contract, certainly sets the marriage up for FAILURE nevertheless. You can have a failed marriage -- one or both spouses living alone, separated, no longer intimate, hating each other, etc. -- even if a marriage is "valid" which just means the contract was validly created (and thus can't be dissolved except by the death of one of the spouses).

The 2 priests quoted are only talking about the Letter of the Law. They aren't talking about what is PRUDENT, ADVISABLE, or what one SHOULD DO if they want a happy marriage.

Even pagans and non-Catholics understand the truth that A marriage must be built on trust.  Are Catholics to be worse than pagans? God forbid.

Don't think you can hide something like a Same Sex Attraction, loss of virginity, criminal record, pedophilia, etc. from your spouse without any consequences. Especially in this day and age of the Internet. What will your spouse do, say, and react when she finds out YOU LIED TO HER? Certain sins or events scar a person for life; they make a person "damaged goods". A spouse should be aware they are making a life-long contract with damaged goods. Anyone who denies this is IGNORANT, NAIVE, and/or A FOOL -- no exceptions.

Grace does not re-create or wipe out Nature. It builds on Nature. If Grace totally renovated and overwrote Nature, then there would be no effects of Original Sin seen among baptized persons in the world today!

If a spouse finds out that you hid something grave, a separation is NOT out of the question. In fact, I would advise it in all cases! If your spouse hid something serious like that from you -- something which affects your future family, marriage, marital relations, ability to provide for the family, etc. -- a wise spouse will not forgive them but insist on permanent separation of house and board (live separately, but not remarry).

We have been told by our priests that one use of porn can destroy a man's natural attraction for real women for life. 

This is just retarded. Here is an example of why the faithful shouldn't take every word of advice from priests as infallible. This is an example of priests who know not the real world and can't give good pragmatic advice.

By all means, yes, get a medical test to determine if your fiance has a venereal disease, have a PI look into whether they have an illegitimate child somewhere, ... but ... asking someone about what they confess in confession??! Seriously?? I couldn't imagine myself ever asking anyone such a thing, under any circuмstances. Is nothing sacred with you people?

I would never advocate spouses "going to confession" to each other. That makes a mockery of what I'm talking about.
I'll repeat --

Dishonesty -- INCLUDING HIDING OF IMPORTANT, RELEVANT FACTS with a bearing on the future -- even if it doesn't invalidate the marriage contract, certainly sets the marriage up for FAILURE nevertheless. You can have a failed marriage -- one or both spouses living alone, separated, no longer intimate, hating each other, etc. -- even if a marriage is "valid" which just means the contract was validly created (and thus can't be dissolved except by the death of one of the spouses).

The 2 priests quoted are only talking about the Letter of the Law. They aren't talking about what is PRUDENT, ADVISABLE, or what one SHOULD DO if they want a happy marriage.

Even pagans and non-Catholics understand the truth that A marriage must be built on trust.  Are Catholics to be worse than pagans? God forbid.

Don't think you can hide something like a Same Sex Attraction, loss of virginity, criminal record, pedophilia, etc. from your spouse without any consequences. Especially in this day and age of the Internet. What will your spouse do, say, and react when she finds out YOU LIED TO HER? Certain sins or events scar a person for life; they make a person "damaged goods". A spouse should be aware they are making a life-long contract with damaged goods. Anyone who denies this is IGNORANT, NAIVE, and/or A FOOL -- no exceptions.

Grace -- and yes, that includes the Sacrament of Penance -- does not re-create or wipe out Nature. It builds on Nature. If Grace totally renovated and overwrote Nature, then there would be no effects of Original Sin seen among baptized persons in the world today! Go re-read your Catechism, specifically on the doctrine of Original Sin, and the effects left on our soul by Actual Sin even after going to Confession. Vices and virtues don't disappear instantly. Some behaviors leave a mark, a scar, an inclination.

If a spouse finds out that you hid something grave, a separation is NOT out of the question. In fact, I would advise it in all cases! If your spouse hid something serious like that from you -- something which affects your future family, marriage, marital relations, ability to provide for the family, etc. -- a wise spouse will not forgive them but insist on permanent separation of house and board (live separately, but not remarry).