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Author Topic: Does a potential spouse have a right to know sɛҳuąƖ history before marriage?  (Read 54982 times)

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Online Gray2023

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  • I don't have any hobbies as I don't find anything enjoyable. What is a hobby anyway?
    I still do my daily routine but exercise is not making progress as I have no motivation to push my self, and while I exercise I just want it to be over.
    Did you find anything enjoyable when you were younger?  Did you like playing a sport?  Did you like learning interesting things?  Did you like building things with legos?  Did you like fishing?  

    I know your motivation is really low.  I know it is hard.  Sometimes as we get closer to God there is no satisfaction with this world.  You need to be meeting all your needs, physical (food and exercise), psychological (learning about self), and spiritual (learning about God).  The hardest to do is the psychological and spiritual, because the demons know your weaknesses and will use them against you.  Please make sure you can get to confession from a valid priest, communion from a valid priest, and then say Hail Mary's for all other attacks.  The more Graces you bring down, the more you will be able to fight the demons.

    You might also have to take something natural for the depression, just to help through the tough parts.  Ashwaganda is a good supplement.  Are there others who have some supplement suggestions to help with depression?

    Continued prayers.  I know this struggle is very hard, but God never leaves you.
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

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  • Did you find anything enjoyable when you were younger? 
    Video games, and just doing stuff, children enjoy most things. I no longer enjoy video games and most things.
    Did you like playing a sport?
    I don't play sports and have zero desire to play a sport, plus that costs money. I did not play sports when younger as my parents could not take me.
    Did you like learning interesting things? 
    Vain curiosity, most stuff doesn't have any real use. 
    Did you like building things with legos?
    Maybe for an hour.... legos are expensive and I am no longer a child.
    Did you like fishing? 
     I was never taught how to fish.

    I know your motivation is really low.  I know it is hard.  Sometimes as we get closer to God there is no satisfaction with this world. 
    I don't feel satisfaction from most things, seeing the disagreements between Catholics on defined doctrine also makes things worse.

     You need to be meeting all your needs, physical (food and exercise), psychological (learning about self), and spiritual (learning about God).  The hardest to do is the psychological and spiritual, because the demons know your weaknesses and will use them against you. 
    I don't think it's possible to have my needs met without a wife and children.

    Please make sure you can get to confession from a valid priest, communion from a valid priest, and then say Hail Mary's for all other attacks.  The more Graces you bring down, the more you will be able to fight the demons.
    I do. Another thing that bothers me is that I go to an SSPX, so I worry that if I were to meet a women and open my heart to her, only to find that she believes the new rites of ordination to be valid that would very painful. Because if my priests were to be replaced by NO ministers then I would have to move locations, so I would need my wife to be on the same page.

    Some people seem to think that the process of courtship is enjoyable and if it doesn't work out, but if you are rejected or find that people are incompatible, that really sounds horrible to me and not enjoyable at all. Why would you want to get to know someone only to find you are not compatible, some people no have issues putting themselves out there and going through this (necessary) process, but people like myself hate stuff like that and that emotional pain that comes with it.


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  • Boy, and here I thought I could be depressing! :laugh1:

    God gave us life so we could live it, guys. Yes, you're going to get frustrated, disappointed, and hurt, sometimes very badly, but that just makes the joys all the more precious. And no, I'm not married, I'm still searching and know what you're experiencing.

    Yeah, yeah, I know it's cheesy and trite, but there's also some truth in these lyrics:





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  • Boy, and here I thought I could be depressing! :laugh1:

    God gave us life so we could live it, guys. Yes, you're going to get frustrated, disappointed, and hurt, sometimes very badly, but that just makes the joys all the more precious. And no, I'm not married, I'm still searching and know what you're experiencing.

    Yeah, yeah, I know it's cheesy and trite, but there's also some truth in these lyrics:



    It's ok, I've been feeling much better the last few days.

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    Yes, both spouses should ask about these things before deciding if they are with the right person for marriage.

    sɛҳuąƖ history affects both the male and female's ability to pairbond and can lead to adverse relationship outcomes. More so for the women with experience than the man.

    There is also a power dynamic which makes it worse for women who have played that field compared with men.





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    The power dynamic, intimacy reduced to a teacher-pupil relationship, everything she learned, learned from other men, other men that probably didn't had to commit as much as hubby to get access to the same intimacy he is experiencing, and sometimes he gets even less than said gentlemen, people like this usually marry the first girl that gave them attention (because of low self-esteem, and never have been noticed before, they fear loneliness so they grab onto the first glimpse of attention and never let go), and the girl in question is usually settling, and I'd say there could be much more to add
    There is also the cases of STDs, both men and woman can have these but women are more are risk then men.
    There is also has to do with the value each partner brings to the table, if a woman expects a man to provide don't be surprised if the man wants a woman who brings herself to the table (aka no past).

    Men get jealous and quite disgusted knowing the woman they love urm 'played with' other man, and women also get jealous though in a different manner, men tend to get more disgusted with a woman's past, while woman tend to worry more about being abandoned for other girls (or past girls who might suddenly reappear and steal their husbands).


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    Yes, I’d definitely need to know a potential spouse’s sɛҳuąƖ history before getting married. In cases of a person with a possibly contagious disease, is it a risk both are willing to take?  Is there agreement concerning vaxxed, unvaxxed? Are there possible fertility or genetic issues?  Are they virgins?  Or does either or both have a past?  Has either been a victim of abuse?  Has either any issue with same sex attraction?  These are matters that should be discussed with a wise priest before the wedding date is set!  If one or the other can’t live with certain issues, the sooner it comes to light, the better, and the easier it will be to break it off. 

    Offline moneil

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    Oh bullshit. I've been hearing that crap about women "riding horses or playing sports" for decades. Almost no women riding horses and very few women play sports. Also, what kind of sports would break a hymen?
    Obviously, this poster has never been in ranch country, nor knows much about where beef comes from, nor has ever watched barrel racing.  If one has ever been to a horse show (check out your county fair sometime) you would find that the vast majority of participants in equestrian events (with the possible exception of polo) are women.

    Offline jen51

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     If one has ever been to a horse show (check out your county fair sometime) you would find that the vast majority of participants in equestrian events (with the possible exception of polo) are women.
    Verifiable facts :cowboy: ^^^

    I’d also like to add that horse women are some of the most snooty on this planet not including the barrel racers. :laugh1:  

    I grew up helping my dad with his hay farm and horse people were so hard to deal with. Also grew up showing horses in 4-H and the serious competitors were the ultimate mean girls. 

    Sorry, off topic. Carry on! 
    Religion clean and undefiled before God and the Father, is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation: and to keep one's self unspotted from this world.
    ~James 1:27


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    Men should demand a physical exam to verify virginity and ladies should demand a lie detector to see if he's looked at pornography.

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    Men should demand a physical exam to verify virginity and ladies should demand a lie detector to see if he's looked at pornography.

    A man with past porn use is as bad as a woman with a "history". Prove me wrong, and explain why.
    Both are damaged goods, which will affect their current sɛҳuąƖ relationship (marriage).
    Both will compare their spouse, have unrealistic ideals, have difficulties with their expectations/performance, etc.

    Offline Everlast22

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    A man with past porn use is as bad as a woman with a "history". Prove me wrong, and explain why.
    Both are damaged goods, which will affect their current sɛҳuąƖ relationship (marriage).
    Both will compare their spouse, have unrealistic ideals, have difficulties with their expectations/performance, etc.
    They are both bad/mortal sin. However, porn use is not as bad a woman with a sɛҳuąƖ history. Not even close. 

    The earthly/temporal consequences affect a woman 100x more than a man who looked at porn in the past. having a lot of sɛҳuąƖ partners, is not the same as a man who has watched porn with 100 different women.

    Now you could argue a man and woman with both having 100 sɛҳuąƖ partners being on the same level, but... it's still worse for a woman.. This is not debatable. Women maintain their value, men earn it. 


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    A man with past porn use is as bad as a woman with a "history". Prove me wrong, and explain why.
    Both are damaged goods, which will affect their current sɛҳuąƖ relationship (marriage).
    Both will compare their spouse, have unrealistic ideals, have difficulties with their expectations/performance, etc.
    Those 2 things are not even close... A woman with 1 partner is far more damaged than a man who has self abused from porn hundreds of times.

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    I think you're biased because you're a man.

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    Both men and women should get a physical exam that includes sɛҳuąƖ health before marriage. As for horse riding resulting in torn hymen, there are many other events that can tear the hymen. Ever been in a car accident? Had a bad fall of any sort?  It needn’t be sports related. If the couple don’t trust each other enough to be truthful about the past and demand an internal exam and a lie detector test, that’s a sign they should not get married. Taking a physical should be for ensuring good health going into the married life, not to test whether the person is a liar. Who wants to marry a person who suspects you of having secrets?  

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    I think you're biased because you're a man.
    I am a man, but it's really not the same. Just the difference in intimacy alone is massive, let alone the physical damage. There is a reason a woman has a hyman but a man does not.