If the child is able to act in a manner to show direct defiance, two swift smacks on the bottom are in order. If the bottom is too padded with clothing and diapers for it to feel bad, then smack each palm and firmly, but not furiously say “No!” Or, “Bad!” Never strike in a manner so as to appear out of control or in a rage.
The smacks must be given immediately so the child connects the negative result to the wrong action.
If the child does NOT yet show deliberate defiance, IOW, can not control his actions, simply remove him from the place if in public, distract him, comfort him. If his defiance results in a true injury to himself, no need to punish. He just punished himself.
Be careful what you punish and how. In general, moral offenses, like direct defiance, saying bad words he knows you disapprove, hurting others or pets or property on purpose or out of selfishness, warrant a swift smack or two. But if you give the child “the look” and he self corrects, nod or smile, show your approval. He will learn self-control, self-denial, and to delay gratification.
Never punish a child for mere childishness or hapless faults, but do hold him responsible in a matter of fact manner. Example: He accidentally spills milk. Have him assist you in wiping it up. Don’t get angry. If he spills it on purpose, that’s another matter. He gets two smacks AND helps clean it up. If he repeats it on purpose, demote him to a sippy cup or baby bottle.
Also, if the child doesn’t know a non serious behavior is bad, don’t punish him with corporal punishment. Teach him what to do instead. Example, if he grabs items from others, take his hand, remove the item, and it back and show him what to do. Use your hand to point, not touch, and say, “Please?” The person hands the item over, or, the person shakes his head and says, “Not now” or “No! Not for children, or, “No! Ouch!” I forgot it’s something dangerous like a knife. Often, very young children are not ready to understand sharing without constant, direct adult supervision. If this is the case, take the item, put it away out of sight and reach, say, “Not yet,” or nothing at all. Immediately involve the children in more appropriate activities. Do not punish a young child who acts up for reasons like being overtired, being sick, being frightened. If justly angry, you’ll need to be more of a teacher than an enforcer.
A child must be gently taught from about six months, disciplined non-corporally until he shows self-will, and corporally after that.
In my family, this was the policy. We got smacked by hand on the bottom or palms according to our age, age 2 gets two smacks, age 6 gets six, etc. Our parents used a leather strap, (Dad) or a three sizes of wooden spoons (Mom). Very occasionally, some item need to be substituted, but usually my parents reverted to hands. Once, Mom whipped my bottom with a fresh willow switch. We were hiking in the woods in Connecticut and I shoved my sister into the brook because she called me a rude name. We were never hit in anger or in random places like the face or back, front, legs, feet, etc. Spankings were stopped at the onset of puberty. Corporal punishment then consisted of exercises as in boot camp and manual chores beyond those normally assigned to us. Our parents tried to make them related to the offense. Example, I once used my pogo stick all over the front lawn. You can probably guess the punishment! I had to pay for the flat of sod and carry home, rolled up in a bag tied to my bicycle. It took two afternoons until dark to fill in the holes. I never pogoed in forbidden places again. For more serious offenses, we might get exercises plus two days confined to quarters, (grounded) or a day in the brig (bedroom, no toys, games, limited books) on bread and water. I never got that one, but my sister did. Her offense involved the police and serious moral matters. Our priest was involved at Dad’s requirement. Action was taken to remove her from the evil influencers, at substantial cost, time, and inconvenience to my parents, but there was no repeat.
Topic: Do you use corporal punishment for the terrible twos (Read 294 times)