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Anonymous

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Do you have many good friends?
« on: February 19, 2019, 11:19:11 AM »
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  • I have been friendly to so many people in my adult life, yet I currently have no friends IRL. All I have are some acquaintances, most of whom are a generation older than me. Some have moved away, others left my chapel or group and cut off from me, and others actually turned on me, betrayed me, or became my actual enemy. People say you have to be a friend to make a friend, but that doesn't always work. I've invested in countless friendships and they always end for some reason beyond my control. It's sad and kind of depressing.

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #1 on: February 19, 2019, 11:40:20 AM »
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  • Maybe others will have more practical advice, but first, from a spiritual standpoint, it could be that God is trying to teach you that He is your only true Friend, and wants to draw you closer to Him.  Our Lord once said to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque when she had no human consolation:  "Am I not sufficient for thee?"

    Nevertheless, have you prayed to ask for a good friend here on earth?  You could try that, and maybe also try praying to know if there is anything you need to do differently which might help you find & retain a good friend.  


    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #2 on: February 19, 2019, 12:08:50 PM »
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  • Although I share mutual friendships with acquaintances, I have zero friends - and am quite happy.

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #3 on: February 19, 2019, 01:16:44 PM »
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  • Maybe others will have more practical advice, but first, from a spiritual standpoint, it could be that God is trying to teach you that He is your only true Friend, and wants to draw you closer to Him.  Our Lord once said to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque when she had no human consolation: "Am I not sufficient for thee?"

    Nevertheless, have you prayed to ask for a good friend here on earth?  You could try that, and maybe also try praying to know if there is anything you need to do differently which might help you find & retain a good friend.  
    I actually thought of that already, and I do feel closer to Our Lord as a result. Still, I think it's sad on a human level that all my friends in the same state of life (childbearing years) always move on for some reason. It's especially sad that good people, God's own, hopefully future saints, can't socialize or share company with each other in this life. And it's not just myself I feel sorry for. Perhaps I can grow spiritually from it, but what about my children? They will want companionship, and I fear they will befriend worldlings and noncatholics out of desperation in the future. So many good traditional Catholic families have come and gone.

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #4 on: February 19, 2019, 03:26:14 PM »
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  • I can share my experience with you that is similar. As a young adult and teenager I always had a lot of "friends", aquaintances and "good friends" I put it on quotes because as you can imagine modern society friendship is based, mostly, on the if your good to me I m good to you principle and they just portrayed themselves as friends as long as I was with them doing the same sinful things with them (drinking, partying, etc). My "friends" and I were the typical fools who only laugh, mock and talk nonsense. Then by the grace of God I converted and started to depart from my friends and my wicked ways and repented since then I never made a true friend, it brings you closer to God and helps you to meditate on him ( "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." Psalm 1:1-2). Bishop Williamson mention once on a sermon something very accurate, if your a Catholic you can live with your atheistic family every day and night of your early days but they dont understand you but if you fly to the other side of the planet and find a complete different individual who is a Catholic like you, in a good day of talk and chat or less you get someone who relates to every single thing you say. But I must admit aswell that it is very lonely and sometimes depressing not to have someone to talk and share a word. King Solomon left us this saying of great wisdom "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).


    Offline Miseremini

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #5 on: February 19, 2019, 03:41:40 PM »
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  • People will come in and out of your life constantly.  Take the good experiences and learn from the bad.
    Because of all this tech crap the art of real personal communication has been lost so it is much more difficult to form lasting friendships in this day and age.
    Set your standards and goals and stick to them .......you never know what tomorrow will bring or if
    there will be a tomorrow.
    Stay on the path you've set and only associate with those on the same path.
    Then pray, hope and don't worry.
    "Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered: and them that hate Him flee from before His Holy Face"  Psalm 67:2[/b]


    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #6 on: February 19, 2019, 03:56:29 PM »
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  • I've read that over the last few decades, thanks to a number of causes(but I'd reckon the internet is a HUGE one), people's sense of belonging and also their average number of close friends have dropped significantly. Your problem is not uncommon, there's actually a loneliness epidemic in the West now. Compound that with the fact that so much of modern socialisation is degenerate and out of bounds for Trad Catholics, it's not a surprise you have this issue. 

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #7 on: February 19, 2019, 04:47:04 PM »
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  • I can say "been there, done it."  Our family was in an independent traditional parish.  It was very nice.  After 10 years, had good people, but the priest died and I found out there was 5 different sets of people.  They split! To Pius X, CMRI, another independent, back to the Indult and some went home.  When we left to find anther traditional, we had to, we were called traitors.  Lost all of those people except a few.

    You go on and others will come in time.  And yes, Christ IS your Best Friend!  Read Matthew 24 and Chapter 12 of Daniel.  The bible says you can expect these tribulations. Whenever something like this, comes your way, ask yourself what you have learned.  Our Lady, also, went through tribulations and sorrows and in the City of God, She lets you know by "instructions" what is learned.


    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #8 on: February 19, 2019, 05:12:09 PM »
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  • Yes, I've have two guy-friends, who are now sedevacantist, for over 7 years, with whom I communicate weekly.

    Offline Geremia

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #9 on: February 19, 2019, 05:14:33 PM »
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  • Our Lord once said to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque when she had no human consolation: "Am I not sufficient for thee?"
    That is not to say friendships in this vale of tears shouldn't be sought. St. Thomas Aquinas highly praises good friendships, even saying that the relationship between a husband and wife is the highest form of friendship.
    St. Isidore e-book library: https://isidore.co/calibre

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #10 on: February 19, 2019, 07:04:28 PM »
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  • That is not to say friendships in this vale of tears shouldn't be sought. St. Thomas Aquinas highly praises good friendships, even saying that the relationship between a husband and wife is the highest form of friendship.
    I know; that's why in my very next sentence, I recommended praying to find a good friend, etc...  


    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #11 on: February 19, 2019, 07:05:54 PM »
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  • ... Perhaps I can grow spiritually from it, but what about my children? They will want companionship, and I fear they will befriend worldlings and noncatholics out of desperation in the future. So many good traditional Catholic families have come and gone.
    Are you currently married, with children? 

    Offline Geremia

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #12 on: February 20, 2019, 12:41:30 PM »
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  • what about my children? They will want companionship, and I fear they will befriend worldlings and noncatholics out of desperation in the future. So many good traditional Catholic families have come and gone.
    Pray they enter religious life and cloister themselves from the world.
    St. Isidore e-book library: https://isidore.co/calibre

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #13 on: February 20, 2019, 01:54:39 PM »
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  • I have one good friend who lives 1,000 miles from me.  We communicate mainly by phone and text.  If we're so blessed, we see each other about a week of each year.  There are no traditional Catholics in my every day life.  I'm not married and have no children.  Aside from work, where I have a few casual friends, "religious" Protestants with whom I share at least moral standards, I'm on my own.  Yes, I've tried to convert them, but really, it doesn't sound appealing to stay home alone, and the majority of them are the only church-goers in their families. 

    Anonymous

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    Re: Do you have many good friends?
    « Reply #14 on: February 20, 2019, 02:44:25 PM »
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  • My only good friend and confidant moved far away several years ago, and I have only my immediate family to call friends. Of course, I can't really share many deep feelings with them, so I have only my prayer life and Our Lady and the saints to confide in and empty my heart and worries to. Actually, it was probably much for the best that my friend moved, since she wasn't Catholic and was a very poor Protestant, and not the kind of friend who lifts one onward towards heaven, rather one who pulls in the other direction. I think I'm better off.

     

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