I spent time with a family last week.
I always thought the husband was a off and  passive aggressive. I regret going over there now, but I wanted to be polite and accept the invitation.

I see something is not right about the wife too. They have a large family and she really does not mother them to a reasonable standard of care. There is neglect from her and emotional abuse by the father which the wife enables. He is one of those that deserves the title of a religious nut. She seems to be on another planet.

Here oldest two moved out this summer and she no longer has the help she had. The husband  got an apartment for the two teenage girls.

She left the church they were attending before because they wouldn't help pay their mortgage after a health crisis with one of their children. Their former pastor still sends one of his adult daughters over every two weeks to help out.  

 Some things I saw were distressing with the baby, especially that he is sick, allowing children that were too young to carry him do so, and the older girl blurted out how many times the 3 year old had dropped him, which she was quickly reprimanded for. This baby already has had 3 surgeries and a stroke. When the two year old was attempting to carry him (baby was slipping out of his arms) I went to grab the baby (almost has big as he was) and told the 2 yo to sit down before holding him. The wife was like no he is fine.  

I thought something was off a few weeks ago when we went shopping together. When her 11 year old had to run and get something, instead of her taking the baby, she asked me to hold him. She was not doing anything she could not do with a baby but I sort of rationalized it that maybe she was tired.

They are both psychologically off and seem to feed some off the other. He is passive aggressive and extremely critical of her but she seems to have checked out and somewhat dependent at weird times.

 He is employed, they get food stamps, medical through the state, the kids have food and shelter. Her husband is one of those that is nice to the world, while doing weird stuff at home, so unless people can see through it, he is going to look like a saint to others while he scapegoats her.

Do I just keep my distance or try to do something?
 
~ Tiffany

Maybe you should look in the mirror instead of spending a seemingly unusual amount of time engaged in playing pseudo psychologist and gossiping about other people.

Don't go back, unless you can relax with them.
And don't go in with ready made labels about what you find is strange behaviour.
The children are fed and sheltered, they have two parents, a mother and a father. And they help to look after each other.
Maybe she needs to be spaced out and maybe he's having a hard time right now.

But do go back if you genuinely like these people. Definitely not just to be polite.

Before you report them to CPS, you should know that many of the kids taken into foster care are abused either in the facilities or in the foster homes they are sent to. Its an ugly fact that angers people when it is brought up, but it is true.

The foster care agencies DO NOT want educated, SAFE families to care for the kids they bring into their system.  They actively discourage intelligent people who might question their corrupt-to-the-core scam.  They like unmarried women with boyfriends.  Guess what the boyfriends do.

I have at the very least 100 hours of training for foster care.  I have been to numerous adoption parties, where the available children are brought to the zoo for prospective families to meet.  But they were not families looking, they were male couples, junkies, obvious perverts even coming up to me and asking if my own child was available.

It is all evil beyond belief.  Please do not interfere with this family, even if they are not particularly good parents or nice people.  Almost every single poor kid in the system gets raped, put on psychotropic drugs and damaged much worse than his real parent  would have done.  We were promised children several times.  One was a toddler on Clonipin (so she would go to sleep) and several other adult meds, being separated from her sister.  

Check out the number of children killed in foster care-watch the YouTube videos with the photos and descriptions, but not a night and not if you are alone.   Toddlers especially are savaged by the monsters chosen by social workers to be foster parents.  

Large numbers of mothers have lost their kids because they tried to get help with an abusive husband.  This is well-docuмented.  

Look at the huge number of missing children.  That's the foster care system.

I have never mentioned reporting them to CPS or butting into their marriage. I have spoken out against CPS a number of times on this board. That is unfair to say I am trying to play save the day/swoop in or that I would sic CPS on a family.  She invited me over, I didn't go busy body into her life, in fact I've purposely kept my distance as I could tell her husband was off.  I called her once in a while to say a quick hello. If you read my first post, I acknowledged the children have food and medical care. There were disturbing things I saw though, especially related to the sick infant.
When the 14 year old was going though the I hate mom stage this summer, the father signed a lease for the oldest girls.  So no they are not just under one roof helping one another. I've warned her myself about CPS, if they found out the 14 yo and 17 yo are living there they would intervene.  

Thank you for the rosary suggestion, I will do that.

Cup half full:  you care enough to ask for advice, and to consult a priest about your concerns.  Also, by bringing it to attention, now we are obligated by charity to pray for the family too.  God's Will be done.
Thank you Tiffany.

Yes it really was upsetting, thank you for acknowledging that and I'm sorry you have seen the same.

For the poster who thought I was meddling in their marriage, that is very far from the truth. (What is it about this board that people make up stuff? I posted about a natural remedy for female problems and that meant I was a feminist who marriage and child bearing! I posted about this family and I'm an evil meddler out to destroy this family.) If anything it's just the opposite, and like I said before I kept my distance. We met through a mutual friend and we met to exchange yarn. A couple of times after that we met to go shopping together, and that is when the woe is me my husband doesn't like me but he doesn't beat me talk came in. One I think it's inappropriate to discuss that in front of children and secondly most people who are abused their naturally sense of modesty will try to cover it.  I don't know the reason, but she wants others to be aware that things are not good from her view but she is staying. I know from experience there are many woman like to whine about their terrible husbands all week, then all weekend are out having fun with him, and I've learned again to keep my distance and not engage in that and have had to limit contact with women who do that.

My view of him is what I've seen him actually do and say, not just what she has said. He is a religious nut, every conversation he will turn to be centered around him looking superior or important  in some way - or throwing names that someone highly respected interacted with him,  he makes snide condescending remarks, and the next minute he is is praying or  quoting moral quote. He made such a big deal about him feeding the baby and going without his dinner.... seriously it's not just a man who watched the game not noticing the 100 things that needed to be done or who doesn't live up to his wife's expectations of taking out the trash.

I did go visit her in the hospital, and I did "meddle" then. Their infant was going to spend a month in the NICU and her  husband wanted her to drive 45 min each day to go see the baby instead of getting a room at the RMH. He is nuts, it's all about him, but I spoke with him and he then "decided" that RMH would be a good idea. She had trouble just getting from the RMH floor to the NICU, there is no way she would have made it for a 45 min r/t drive each day.

As far as help with housework, something is off about that too. People will offer and she will decline but then last minute she doesn't ask but tells people to help (not ask), then  gripes that people did not help or there are 1000 conditions on it.  I've seen this twice now, and she most recently did it with me too and the recent dinner invite. Her making out others to be wrong because they did not cancel their life to help last minute seems off to me, especially when it was offered before. It seems more than not knowing etiquette.

I don't know about dangerous, but I think they could get really clingy, really fast. In these situations something always goes wrong and then the good Samaritan gets the blame or stuck holding the bag.