Author Topic: Difficulty in Obeying Husband (Read 13130 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** July 29, 2013, 11:05:27 AM »

This is a question for married women only:

Have any of you had serious difficulty in obeying your husband due to doubts about his ability to love and care for you and how did you overcome it?

Another scenario is not letting him lead because of past indiscretions or poor judgments on his part?

I'm hoping to hear from ladies who have successfully worked past this issue and find joy in being obedient even when it seems less than ideal.

God bless.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #1 on:** July 29, 2013, 11:29:30 AM »

This is yet more evidence that we need a women's subforum with access granted solely by Mrs. Moderator, MaterDominici.

Only those who are female and have registered as such should be allowed to contribute to conversations of such a sensitive nature unless one of the contributors is a priest.

Tiffany · « **Reply #2 on:** July 29, 2013, 11:39:35 AM »

It's an internet forum, how are they to know anyone's identity unless they require something like a $1 paypal donation from a verified address? If it shouldn't be posted publicly then it shouldn't be posted on a forum, even a "private" one.

Napoli · « **Reply #3 on:** July 29, 2013, 01:20:24 PM »

Women's subforum? Have the feminists invaded? Modernists?

:confused1:

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #4 on:** July 29, 2013, 02:25:00 PM »

Napoli, there are many times on CI when issues come up that really belong in the realm of older women teaching and encouraging the younger women. The idea of a separate subforum which could be restricted to moderators, priests (if there are any on here) and the female members of the forum has nothing at all to do with feminism or modernism. It would be a worthwhile safeguard against sharing topics which can only rightly be understood by women with men who are total strangers and not ordained to priestly ministry. Likewise, sensitive topics which could be occasions of sin to men could be discussed in relative confidentiality.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #5 on:** July 29, 2013, 02:34:42 PM »

The trick is to make him think that you are obeying him when in truth he is doing what you want. You need not be rash or dominant in any way, but sweet and gentle.

Be INDIRECT in your approach and gain his heart and his life-time devotion! Be truly feminine, but not servile.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** July 29, 2013, 02:51:04 PM »

I've had to turn to the priest before on speakerphone. I try to lay the blame on myself when possible, and not throw personal barbs, but I let the situation be known without embarrassing my husband. While my husband's usually angry at first, he's very obedient of our priest, and the priest really doesn't have to say much to right the wrong-headed thinking. In fact, the priest usually just says "I'll pray for [situation] and your whole family," and suggests we do a rosary. (My husband is a blessing, but he has a temper and shouldn't make important decisions when in that state of mind.)

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:05:19 PM »

Quote from: Guest

The trick is to make him think that you are obeying him when in truth he is doing what you want. You need not be rash or dominant in any way, but sweet and gentle.

Be INDIRECT in your approach and gain his heart and his life-time devotion! Be truly feminine, but not servile.

That seems pretty manipulative to me. And dishonest.

Also, aren't wives suppose to serve their husbands.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:19:37 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
The trick is to make him think that you are obeying him when in truth he is doing what you want. You need not be rash or dominant in any way, but sweet and gentle.

Be INDIRECT in your approach and gain his heart and his life-time devotion! Be truly feminine, but not servile.

That seems pretty manipulative to me. And dishonest.

Also, aren't wives suppose to serve their husbands.

Maybe. Can you share your successes with serving your husband?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #9 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:28:45 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Napoli, there are many times on CI when issues come up that really belong in the realm of older women teaching and encouraging the younger women. The idea of a separate subforum which could be restricted to moderators, priests (if there are any on here) and the female members of the forum has nothing at all to do with feminism or modernism.

I just want to point out that the two concrete suggestions so far (and I believe both have come from women) are (1) manipulate your husband and (2) gang up on him with your priest.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #10 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:32:27 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
The trick is to make him think that you are obeying him when in truth he is doing what you want. You need not be rash or dominant in any way, but sweet and gentle.

Be INDIRECT in your approach and gain his heart and his life-time devotion! Be truly feminine, but not servile.

That seems pretty manipulative to me. And dishonest.

Also, aren't wives suppose to serve their husbands.

We are helpmates of our husbands but not slaves. We serve them but not as objects or maids.

What if our husbands wants us to commit sins and err against Our Lord? Are we to obey them then, even at the cost of the salvation of our immortal souls? I don't think so.

I'm the one that wrote about being truly feminine but not "servile", by the way.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #11 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:36:03 PM »

Quote from: Guest

What if our husbands wants us to commit sins and err against Our Lord? Are we to obey them then, even at the cost of the salvation of our immortal souls? I don't think so.

Who condoned that on this thread? That's a strawman.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #12 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:38:39 PM »

This is why St. Paul says women are to be silent in church.

Listen you feminist leaning women who don't know any better:

Obviously if there are VALID reasons that you CANNOT reasonably obey your husband, then you are not bound in obedience. That is something for which you consult a priest. (and these days you have to be careful because a lot of priests will tell women what they want to hear) Not a board where secret feminist "trads" are lurking.

As for "having difficulty" obeying husband, that seems pretty vague. Is it an actual specific issue or is it rather you don't believe he should be your boss?

If it's the latter you have a problem of wishing to usurp authority.

And yes, you women can't run from us here and pontificate without us men setting you straight. Wouldn't you love that special privilege!

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:39:35 PM »

I also don't think that my advice is manipulative even if it sounded that way. This is just how men are. It is reality. Men do not respond to the same way of women and women are foolish if they pretend to deal with men with the same logic that they would with other women. We understand and appreciate an honest conversation. Men in their nature, become competitive every time they feel threatened or we try to blame them. Men don't deal with guilt like women do.

Chances are that if you try to point out to your husband his past mistakes in hope for him to change his mind and not make the same mistakes, he will become instantaneously defensive and stubborn.

I insist, is better to use INDIRECT ways. This is ancient female wisdom in dealing with men.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #14 on:** July 29, 2013, 03:43:41 PM »

I wonder if it's typical for women in these chapels to work together to undermine their husbands' authority, as we see being instigated in this thread?

Author Topic: Difficulty in Obeying Husband (Read 13130 times)

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus

Änσnymσus