Author Topic: limits to charity (Read 2555 times)

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #5 on:** April 02, 2023, 03:35:23 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 02, 2023, 02:27:58 PM

I thank Thee, God, that I am not like the rest of men. I fast….etc, etc, etc. Be careful lest you fall due to pride.

Pride is the explanation until it isn't. We live in a vale of tears and part of that is having to watch other people ruin themselves body and soul even when we pray for them and try to help them. Then, the counsel is to be careful lest you fall due to despair. Despair mirrors pride because it happens after a person tries in vain to accomplish what only the Lord can accomplish. However despair is not pharisaical pride because the Pharisees weren't known to help or pray for others, only for themselves.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** April 02, 2023, 06:08:57 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 02, 2023, 02:46:07 PM

It's difficult to define where charity ends and enabling begins. Enabling helps no one and is detrimental to both parties. It wastes your time and it just re-enforces bad habits and practices in the recipient.
The devil will try to get you either way; you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
But why not start off slowly by refraining from doing things they are capable of doing themselves. Help or show them how to do it then leave them alone.
Those things they truly need help with are your acts of charity.
Leaving them to do for themselves may also be the greatest act of charity.

Thanks for this from the OP. I know this rationally and have told it to others, but I guess I still need to be reminded so that it stays with me when I'm not being very rational myself. Something to add to my supplications.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** April 02, 2023, 07:05:08 PM »

Maybe ask them to do something for you. Give those who act helpless the opportunity to reciprocate. Because they ask you to drive them to appointments, etc. doesn’t mean there isn’t something they can do for you. Do you need simple mending done? Maybe to sort out and organize your junk drawer? (Not that you CAN’T do it yourself, but would appreciate some assistance.) Relationships need to go two ways.
You need to strike a balance between mercy and justice. Pray and think it over, then set firm boundaries. (No, you won’t be available to spend all of every Sunday after Mass wining and dining them. You’ll still provide transportation to and from Mass, but then you have family time. Or you intend to spend next Sunday in prayer, or, “I have some personal business to attend to.” It says no better than, “MYOB!”)
If a person is truly toxic, separated yourself. Think, Abraham and Lot! Going in together sheep ranching was not working out. It’s time to go separate ways.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** April 02, 2023, 07:23:26 PM »

Ultimately, if your example is having no effect upon them, it may simply not be worth throwing pearls before the swine. Don't always be available to be used. A long time ago, I found that after a couple of times in which I simply could not help--or was just not willing to help out every single time--these very people were very quick to drop me like a hot potato. It did not phase me in the least and was helpful to me personally.

CathInfo.com

Author Topic: limits to charity (Read 2555 times)

Änσnymσus

Re: limits to charity

Änσnymσus

Re: limits to charity

Änσnymσus

Re: limits to charity

Änσnymσus

Re: limits to charity