Hi all, I'm new here.
I need advise about separation from "bed and board." When spouses still live together but are in a way "separated."
My wife and I go to the SSPX and have been married for a few years, no children. We've been to two different SSPX priests for marriage counseling before, each time I asked for it. Each time it was brief with a few admonitions, but no follow up or going in depth. I felt we needed ongoing counseling (ie more than once) but had a hard time getting the priest to reschedule or follow up with how we were doing.
So I sought the advise of a secular counselor on my own, trying to be as fair as possible about our marriage. The counselor recommended we divorce. Since then we have not gotten over our main problems. Since we got married there is almost no conjugal life. She rarely talks about children or building a future family together, but I have over and over. We have minor fights (like about a bill, or spilled milk or something) and most of the time she refuses to talk or argue it through. She shuts down. There are other serious issues.
I love her very much and keep hope, but for my own sanity and spiritual life I think I may need to separate from her in some way. It would not work right now to live in different places.
Does anybody know the guidelines for separating from "bed and board"? Do I need my pastor's permission? I'm finding nothing about how to go about this, but this seems like a better solution than complete separation or worse divorce. Any feedback would be much appreciated.