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Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 04:45:02 AM

Title: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 04:45:02 AM
I just made a general confession to a visiting priest who was kind enough to hear me because I was concerned that I almost certainly have made bad confessions in the past due to carelessness in the past to the regular parish priest and was worried that many things I confessed in the past weren't absolved. The visiting priest was very kind and understanding. 

I know that if you accidentally forget something in confession, the confession is still valid and you should confess what you remember the next time but, having scrupulosity and this being a general confession, I was still a bit nervous during confession and ended up only realizing later that I unintentionally misarticulated a few things:

For example, thinking back, I think I committed certain a sin only once but the way I worded it implied it happened more than once (as I couldn't remember with certainty) and I think in one instance the priest may not have entirely understood precisely what I was confessing though I tried to elaborate as best as I could and, likewise, in other instances he may not have understood what I meant but didn't ask for further elaboration. 

In any case, I still had proper intention of confessing everything that I could remember and firm purpose of amendment. Did I still make a good confession? The priest whom I made the general confession to basically told me not to worry about confessing any past sins and just focus on the future, echoing what the regular parish priest has told me previously. Ideally, I would like to rectify these issues in my next confession since I want to make absolutely sure I did it properly so as not to commit a sacrilege by omitting anything and receiving Holy Communion unworthily but, I understand why the priests are telling me not worry about confessing any past sins going forward due to the scrupulosity. Still, I struggle with intrusive thoughts such as this.

I'm just curious if anyone could provide me with some further insight or perhaps some material that could help me with scrupulosity. Thanks.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 05:49:34 AM
Even though this is a recently published book, it should prove to be very helpful.

https://loretopubs.org/ebook-scruples-and-sainthood-overcoming-scrupulosity-with-the-help-of-the-saints.html (https://loretopubs.org/ebook-scruples-and-sainthood-overcoming-scrupulosity-with-the-help-of-the-saints.html)
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Matthew on June 21, 2021, 08:21:46 AM
You mentioned your "parish priest" -- if you are attending an Indult or even worse a Novus Ordo parish, you need to read up more on the Crisis in the Church.

With the Crisis in the Church, the state of the Church today, you should ONLY be attending Mass at some kind of "lifeboat" chapel, nothing accepted by Rome. Rome is modernist and could be argued to be schismatic -- they went into schism from the true Faith at Vatican II. It's basically a new religion. You can't have anything to do with that new religion.

The Catholic Faith, practiced by the Saints through the ages up till Vatican 2, and the new Conciliar Religion that was born at Vatican II, are irreconcilable. They blend together, or are compatible with each other, about as well as God and the devil.

Any priests who are "OK" with that new religion are inherently compromised, and will give you horrible advice, tainted sermons, etc.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Ladislaus on June 21, 2021, 09:35:18 AM
Assuming this was a valid priest, unless you INTENTIONALLY hid or distorted something, the Confession was valid.  Just try to rectify the situation at your next Confession.  "Father, during my last Confession, I made a general.  I said that .... but what I really meant to get across was ....  I didn't misstate this intentionally."

Not a big deal.  I've done this regularly, where I forgot something and then added it in the next Confession.  Unless you FULLY DELIBERATELY intended to obscure something.  Now, that's where the issue of scrupulosity really rears its ugly head.  You start to question yourself whether it was "deliberate" where any movement of the mind, any idle thought that pops into your head, gets conflated with an act of the will.

If you're genuinely scrupulous, the advice of my own Confessor at seminary would apply.  He instantly cured me of scruples by basically commanding me to not confess anything as mortal sin unless I could basically swear to God that it WAS in fact a mortal sin.  I believe the system of "probabilism" serves the scrupulous very well (though it would be a huge mistake to allow the lax to apply it, IMO).  St. Alphonsus taught a probabilistic system, but then modified it a little bit later (after taking some criticism) into more of a semi-probabilist opinion.  But what's ironic is that probabilism is probable, so it's not generally forbidden to use the system :-)
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 10:09:34 AM
Some general comments:

1) Unlike a particular (ie., regular) confession, it is not necessary to confess all your sins in a general confession, if you have already confessed them before.  Some people use a general confession just to confess a handful of their most humiliating or most serious lifetime sins;

2) General confessions and retreats are not for the scrupulous.  They are great for normal souls, but for the scrupulous are like picking scabs.  

3) “God reads crooked minds straight.”  You did your part.  
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 05:40:18 PM
You mentioned your "parish priest" -- if you are attending an Indult or even worse a Novus Ordo parish, you need to read up more on the Crisis in the Church.

With the Crisis in the Church, the state of the Church today, you should ONLY be attending Mass at some kind of "lifeboat" chapel, nothing accepted by Rome. Rome is modernist and could be argued to be schismatic -- they went into schism from the true Faith at Vatican II. It's basically a new religion. You can't have anything to do with that new religion.

The Catholic Faith, practiced by the Saints through the ages up till Vatican 2, and the new Conciliar Religion that was born at Vatican II, are irreconcilable. They blend together, or are compatible with each other, about as well as God and the devil.

Any priests who are "OK" with that new religion are inherently compromised, and will give you horrible advice, tainted sermons, etc.
I guess I misarticulated myself yet again; this is at an SSPX chapel with a regular priest who sometimes is filled in for others when he's not available. I don't attend the Novus Ordo.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 05:44:15 PM
I guess I misarticulated myself yet again; this is at an SSPX chapel with a regular priest who sometimes is filled in for others when he's not available. I don't attend the Novus Ordo.
And by "regular" I mean that he is the one that is usually there. He was validly ordained traditionally.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 05:53:03 PM
Assuming this was a valid priest, unless you INTENTIONALLY hid or distorted something, the Confession was valid.  Just try to rectify the situation at your next Confession.  "Father, during my last Confession, I made a general.  I said that .... but what I really meant to get across was ....  I didn't misstate this intentionally."

Not a big deal.  I've done this regularly, where I forgot something and then added it in the next Confession.  Unless you FULLY DELIBERATELY intended to obscure something.  Now, that's where the issue of scrupulosity really rears its ugly head.  You start to question yourself whether it was "deliberate" where any movement of the mind, any idle thought that pops into your head, gets conflated with an act of the will.

If you're genuinely scrupulous, the advice of my own Confessor at seminary would apply.  He instantly cured me of scruples by basically commanding me to not confess anything as mortal sin unless I could basically swear to God that it WAS in fact a mortal sin.  I believe the system of "probabilism" serves the scrupulous very well (though it would be a huge mistake to allow the lax to apply it, IMO).  St. Alphonsus taught a probabilistic system, but then modified it a little bit later (after taking some criticism) into more of a semi-probabilist opinion.  But what's ironic is that probabilism is probable, so it's not generally forbidden to use the system :-)
I didn't deliberately or intentionally try to distort anything but, as you mentioned, I often do question myself and second-guess if I did. I went in with the full intention of being 100% honest. I would like to rectify the situation by making clarifications during my next confession but, the priest who I made the general confession to and the one whom I usually confessed to have both told me not to focus on past sins because of the scrupulosity. If I were seeing the priest who I made the general confession to again, I'm certain he would be understanding and let me clarify for my peace of mind but, the usual confessor who I will most likely be seeing at my next confession tends to be very strict and, at times, gets irritable when I when I try to confess something that I remember from the past or try to clarify something from my past confession so, even though I would like to, I expect him to get irritated and not allow me to do so.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 06:26:24 PM
...the priest who I made the general confession to and the one whom I usually confessed to have both told me not to focus on past sins because of the scrupulosity. If I were seeing the priest who I made the general confession to again, I'm certain he would be understanding and let me clarify for my peace of mind...
The problem with scruples is that it won't give you peace of mind, at least not for long. Trust and OBEY your usual confessor. Don't rehash these things. It is the only way to get over scruples. I know from personal experience.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: SimpleMan on June 21, 2021, 06:28:23 PM
Assuming this was a valid priest, unless you INTENTIONALLY hid or distorted something, the Confession was valid.  Just try to rectify the situation at your next Confession.  "Father, during my last Confession, I made a general.  I said that .... but what I really meant to get across was ....  I didn't misstate this intentionally."

Not a big deal.  I've done this regularly, where I forgot something and then added it in the next Confession.  Unless you FULLY DELIBERATELY intended to obscure something.  Now, that's where the issue of scrupulosity really rears its ugly head.  You start to question yourself whether it was "deliberate" where any movement of the mind, any idle thought that pops into your head, gets conflated with an act of the will.

If you're genuinely scrupulous, the advice of my own Confessor at seminary would apply.  He instantly cured me of scruples by basically commanding me to not confess anything as mortal sin unless I could basically swear to God that it WAS in fact a mortal sin.  I believe the system of "probabilism" serves the scrupulous very well (though it would be a huge mistake to allow the lax to apply it, IMO).  St. Alphonsus taught a probabilistic system, but then modified it a little bit later (after taking some criticism) into more of a semi-probabilist opinion.  But what's ironic is that probabilism is probable, so it's not generally forbidden to use the system :-)
This is absolutely sterling advice.

I can well foresee that scrupulosity could be the "occupational hazard" of trying to live by traditional Catholic moral teachings, especially for young people (and it would usually be young men, due to their powerful urge to violate the Sixth and Ninth Commandments, something that is hard-coded into the human nature of the male uninformed by Divine Grace).

I noted this recently in another thread, but in their misdirected zeal to reclaim and re-appropriate the Catholic Faith whole and entire (as they see it), sometimes "conservative Novus Ordo" people get it wrong and go totally off the deep end.  They are the kind who, if you even so much as appear to question anything about Vatican II or the Novus Ordo Mass --- because they've been taught that everything connected to V2/NOM fell straight from heaven by the positive will of the Holy Ghost (they would say "Spirit") --- they will look at you like you've just slapped them.  (We call them "Catholic holy rollers" in our home.)  One of them recently said online, that any fully deliberate violation of any one of the Ten Commandments is a "grave" sin, therefore mortal if committed with sufficient reflection and full consent of the will.  Not that this is ever to be condoned, but such things as small "white" lies, pilfering more condiments from a restaurant bar than you're entitled to, and snippy remarks made to others out of exasperation, simply do not rise to the level of mortal sin.  People such as this are headed for an emotional and psychological plane crash, out of drawing false conclusions that they do not have the catechetical training, and possibly not even the intellectual acuмen, to avoid.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 06:31:59 PM
the usual confessor who I will most likely be seeing at my next confession tends to be very strict and, at times, gets irritable when I when I try to confess something that I remember from the past or try to clarify something from my past confession so, even though I would like to, I expect him to get irritated and not allow me to do so.
He's being a good Priest. If you listen to him you will remember him fondly for helping you. If you don't listen to him you will drive yourself and everyone else nuts.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 06:48:36 PM
How about this example.  I did a sin of talking negatively about 2 priests, one of whom I made my confession to, I confessed that I had bad mouthed a priest a few times..  Do I need give the details or just saying that is enough.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 08:31:53 PM
How about this example.  I did a sin of talking negatively about 2 priests, one of whom I made my confession to, I confessed that I had bad mouthed a priest a few times..  Do I need give the details or just saying that is enough.
Sounds plenty good enough. And also a prime example of scrupulosity; you just can't let it go. See above about never having peace of mind.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Ladislaus on June 21, 2021, 09:32:15 PM
I didn't deliberately or intentionally try to distort anything but, as you mentioned, I often do question myself and second-guess if I did. I went in with the full intention of being 100% honest. I would like to rectify the situation by making clarifications during my next confession but, the priest who I made the general confession to and the one whom I usually confessed to have both told me not to focus on past sins because of the scrupulosity. If I were seeing the priest who I made the general confession to again, I'm certain he would be understanding and let me clarify for my peace of mind but, the usual confessor who I will most likely be seeing at my next confession tends to be very strict and, at times, gets irritable when I when I try to confess something that I remember from the past or try to clarify something from my past confession so, even though I would like to, I expect him to get irritated and not allow me to do so.

I would listen to your priest then.  Obedience to your priest confessor takes precedence over your scruples.  He's probably getting irritable with your retracing the past because you do it often as a result of scrupulosity.  To help you get past your scrupulosity, you need to let go.  God will not blame you for not "clarifying" a sin if you do so on the orders of your Confessor.

"About 5 confessions ago, I said this ... but what I really meant to say was this."
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Ladislaus on June 21, 2021, 09:36:52 PM
How about this example.  I did a sin of talking negatively about 2 priests, one of whom I made my confession to, I confessed that I had bad mouthed a priest a few times..  Do I need give the details or just saying that is enough.

Nope, that's plenty.  Kind of sin and number are all that are required.  Unless there are particular circuмstances which change the nature of the sin, they are superfluous.

So, with this example, if your "bad-mouthing" involved calumny or detraction, then that would be detraction and calumny.  But if it's something short of that, such as "boy he gives lousy sermons" or "that priest has a bad temper" or "I really don't like him." ... which is typically what is meant by bad-mouthing rather than "this priest is having an affair with a female parishioner".

Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 09:57:40 PM
Confession is not meant to be torture but the application of mercy to us. If you're second guessing and your confessor told you not to do so let it go. You are supposed to be at peace after confession.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 10:52:55 PM

Quote
it is not necessary to confess all your sins in a general confession, if you have already confessed them before. 
See above.  You've confessed your sins already.  Maybe you forgot some details.  Then you did a general confession, which covers all your past.  You don’t need to confess them a third time.  Listen to your confessors and concentrate on pleasing God now. The past is over. 
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 21, 2021, 11:09:10 PM
(https://i.redd.it/2uj5e9zt54uy.jpg)
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 22, 2021, 10:49:34 AM
This book would be of help to you OP. (I wasn't able to find an e-copy)
https://www.traditionalcatholicpublishing.com/confession-made-easy.html
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 22, 2021, 10:54:50 AM
This book would be of help to you OP. (I wasn't able to find an e-copy)
https://www.traditionalcatholicpublishing.com/confession-made-easy.html
If money is really tight for you, reply and I will figure out a way to pay for it anonymously.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 23, 2021, 01:03:29 AM
Nope, that's plenty.  Kind of sin and number are all that are required.  Unless there are particular circuмstances which change the nature of the sin, they are superfluous.

So, with this example, if your "bad-mouthing" involved calumny or detraction, then that would be detraction and calumny.  But if it's something short of that, such as "boy he gives lousy sermons" or "that priest has a bad temper" or "I really don't like him." ... which is typically what is meant by bad-mouthing rather than "this priest is having an affair with a female parishioner".
The person I was talking to said he didn't trust the priest and I told him I felt the same way, that I didn't trust the priest at a certain level and that if I had to confess certain types of things I would go find a different priest.  Not like I was just randomly speculating I have my reasons for feeling that way, and I actually have gone to other priests to do more general confessions.  While I didn't explicitly mean it in such a way as that I the priest would break his seal, but thinking back that's pretty much how the conversation went down.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: SimpleMan on June 23, 2021, 11:57:42 AM
This book would be of help to you OP. (I wasn't able to find an e-copy)
https://www.traditionalcatholicpublishing.com/confession-made-easy.html
Fructuosus Hockenmaier.  Now I know what I'm going to name my next son, should I ever have one :jester:  (Don't laugh --- my wife could die, I could win the lottery, I'm not dead yet, and I could meet some sweet young traditional Catholic lass and have the mega-family that should be every Catholic man's ideal.  Age ain't nothing but a number.)

But seriously.  This book has a 1910 imprimatur.  Modern Newchurch Catholics (after a fashion) wouldn't know the difference between mortal and venial sin if it bit them on the butt.  I haven't read the book, never heard of it, but given the date of the imprimatur, I have to think large portions of it would fly right over their heads.  They have some vague notion of "grave" sin, which term is so misused that it has come, to some of a more serious bent, to mean any sin at all. 

I'd say just to find a traditional confessor, let him take you by the hand (metaphorically speaking), and go from there.  Stick with one confessor if you can.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: SimpleMan on June 23, 2021, 11:58:57 AM
(https://i.redd.it/2uj5e9zt54uy.jpg)
What the... ???

What does this have to do with the discussion?

I'm reminded here of the scene from Mrs Doubtfire where the Robin Williams character was showing a bit of skin on his hairy leg, and the bus driver said that's what I like, a woman who looks the way God made her.  Thirty years ago in Poland (can't speak for nowadays), you would have gotten quite an eyeful of such hirsuteness at the town market.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 23, 2021, 12:11:47 PM
Fructuosus Hockenmaier.  Now I know what I'm going to name my next son, should I ever have one :jester:  (Don't laugh --- my wife could die, I could win the lottery, I'm not dead yet, and I could meet some sweet young traditional Catholic lass and have the mega-family that should be every Catholic man's ideal.  Age ain't nothing but a number.)

But seriously.  This book has a 1910 imprimatur.  Modern Newchurch Catholics (after a fashion) wouldn't know the difference between mortal and venial sin if it bit them on the butt.  I haven't read the book, never heard of it, but given the date of the imprimatur, I have to think large portions of it would fly right over their heads.  They have some vague notion of "grave" sin, which term is so misused that it has come, to some of a more serious bent, to mean any sin at all.  

I'd say just to find a traditional confessor, let him take you by the hand (metaphorically speaking), and go from there.  Stick with one confessor if you can.
It's a good book, written in a very accessible style. I often dip into it randomly before confession. It's a mystery to me why someone hasn't posted a pdf of it online. I'm not an expert, but any copyright should be expired by now.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 23, 2021, 12:19:00 PM
What the... ???

What does this have to do with the discussion?

I'm reminded here of the scene from Mrs Doubtfire where the Robin Williams character was showing a bit of skin on his hairy leg, and the bus driver said that's what I like, a woman who looks the way God made her.  Thirty years ago in Poland (can't speak for nowadays), you would have gotten quite an eyeful of such hirsuteness at the town market.
I'm pretty sure the poster (not me) meant to put that picture in this thread:
https://www.cathinfo.com/teen-catholic-hangout/warning-about-gender-neutral-toy/msg754264/#msg754264
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: SimpleMan on June 23, 2021, 08:57:16 PM
It's a good book, written in a very accessible style. I often dip into it randomly before confession. It's a mystery to me why someone hasn't posted a pdf of it online. I'm not an expert, but any copyright should be expired by now.
Okay, that's fine, sin is a perennial, right and wrong never changes.  I'll take a look at it, if I can find a PDF or similar.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 09:16:31 AM
It's a good book, written in a very accessible style. I often dip into it randomly before confession. It's a mystery to me why someone hasn't posted a pdf of it online. I'm not an expert, but any copyright should be expired by now.
I think one should consider the intent of the author, he wrote the book to help save souls not to earn money.  If he could have given it away for free at the time I'm sure he would have.  
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 11:02:51 AM
I think one should consider the intent of the author, he wrote the book to help save souls not to earn money.  If he could have given it away for free at the time I'm sure he would have.  
:confused:
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 11:36:30 AM
I think one should consider the intent of the author, he wrote the book to help save souls not to earn money.  If he could have given it away for free at the time I'm sure he would have.  
I think I understand what you are getting at; Fr. Hockenmeier wouldn't object to it being distributed for free.
I did a bit of research and the first and second editions are out of copyright protection, so anyone could post a copy online without legal repercussions.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 12:05:36 PM
:

1) Unlike a particular (ie., regular) confession, it is not necessary to confess all your sins in a general confession, if you have already confessed them before.  Some people use a general confession just to confess a handful of their most humiliating or most serious lifetime sins;


This is not correct.  The first general confession must be for sins committed since attaining the age of reason or since baptism.  Any general confessions after that should begin with sins committed since the previous general confession.
You cannot just "pick and choose" during a general confession.  Otherwise, this is simply a normal confession where you are confessing some past sins.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 12:09:58 PM
This is not correct.  The first general confession must be for sins committed since attaining the age of reason or since baptism.  Any general confessions after that should begin with sins committed since the previous general confession.
You cannot just "pick and choose" during a general confession.  Otherwise, this is simply a normal confession where you are confessing some past sins.
You are not obligated to confess a sin that has already been confessed and absolved. Though with general confessions it is recommended to confess all the sins but if you committed a sin that you don't wish to discuss and its already been absolved in the past you don't have to confess it.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 24, 2021, 04:08:47 PM
You are not obligated to confess a sin that has already been confessed and absolved. Though with general confessions it is recommended to confess all the sins but if you committed a sin that you don't wish to discuss and its already been absolved in the past you don't have to confess it.
You are if you are performing a general confession.  You need to review what a general confession is.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 25, 2021, 03:52:54 PM
(OP here) Thanks for the helpful responses.

I guess, for me, the question boils down to: if I have the desire to confess everything possible at my next confession but, my confessor is telling me not to confess any past sins (even if I may have forgotten to confess them previously) other than those from the previous week or, anyway, curtails what I wish to confess, does that still count as omitting things from the confession? I would think that it wouldn't, considering the circuмstances but, I basically want to avoid unworthily receiving Holy Communion, thereby, committing a sacrilege.

Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 25, 2021, 04:16:58 PM
 I would think that it wouldn't, considering the circuмstances but, I basically want to avoid unworthily receiving Holy Communion, thereby, committing a sacrilege.
You're correct. Make obeying your confessor an act of trust in God. 
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 04, 2021, 01:06:01 PM
So, with this example, if your "bad-mouthing" involved calumny or detraction, then that would be detraction and calumny.  But if it's something short of that, such as "boy he gives lousy sermons" or "that priest has a bad temper" or "I really don't like him." ... which is typically what is meant by bad-mouthing rather than "this priest is having an affair with a female parishioner".

So just to clarify this; if you encounter a priest who had, for a lack of a better term, a "bad bedside manner" in that he was, for example, inexplicably or unnecessarily rude or condescending, would expressing frustration over something like that by saying "I don't really like that particular priest; I found him to be uncompassionate and uncharitable" on the basis of his personality be considered bad-mouthing or a sin of any sort?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Ladislaus on July 04, 2021, 02:48:34 PM
So just to clarify this; if you encounter a priest who had, for a lack of a better term, a "bad bedside manner" in that he was, for example, inexplicably or unnecessarily rude or condescending, would expressing frustration over something like that by saying "I don't really like that particular priest; I found him to be uncompassionate and uncharitable" on the basis of his personality be considered bad-mouthing or a sin of any sort?

I think it depends on whether you had good reason for speaking that way.  I think it maybe be possible to "criticize" a priest in order to alert others to issues they might expect from him.  If the motivation was just idle gossip or a desire to vent, then I would think it to be a venial sin.

We've had similar discussions about this type of thing in a different context.  If I ran into a priest who came across as effeminate and giving of a "pedophile" vibe, I think that it would not only be permitted but even required to sound the alarm.  I think that too many pedophiles got away with their crimes precisely under cover of scruples regarding not saying anything bad about a priest.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 05, 2021, 03:12:04 PM
I think it depends on whether you had good reason for speaking that way.  I think it maybe be possible to "criticize" a priest in order to alert others to issues they might expect from him.  If the motivation was just idle gossip or a desire to vent, then I would think it to be a venial sin.

We've had similar discussions about this type of thing in a different context.  If I ran into a priest who came across as effeminate and giving of a "pedophile" vibe, I think that it would not only be permitted but even required to sound the alarm.  I think that too many pedophiles got away with their crimes precisely under cover of scruples regarding not saying anything bad about a priest.
What I mean is, is it a sin to criticize a priest if he is particularly cruel and lacking charity and doesn't seem to care about his penitents?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 05, 2021, 05:24:27 PM
"I don't really like that particular priest; I found him to be uncompassionate and uncharitable" on the basis of his personality be considered bad-mouthing or a sin of any sort?
It sounds like you are just expressing your opinion, I don't see it as sinful unless your are intentionally going around bringing up the subject in order to damage his reputation. 
He may be treating you like he is because he thinks it's necessary, because of your scruples, to do so. Ask around, discreetly, to see if anyone else is having the same experience.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 06, 2021, 08:04:25 PM
It sounds like you are just expressing your opinion, I don't see it as sinful unless your are intentionally going around bringing up the subject in order to damage his reputation.  
He may be treating you like he is because he thinks it's necessary, because of your scruples, to do so. Ask around, discreetly, to see if anyone else is having the same experience.
Yeah, I'm not actively trying to besmirch him or damage his reputation or anything like that. I genuinely just felt like he was unnecessarily flippant and had a very uncompassionate demeanor. This is a different priest who I've only gone to confession with once before. The other person who went with me to Mass most recently said he acted the same way to them in the confessional so, I don't think it's simply because of the scrupulosity.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 10, 2021, 07:17:40 PM
Is it a sin to use pseudonyms on social media? For instance, on my actual social media account I (a man, fyi) use my birth name rather than my current legal name and a lot of people know me by that the former rather than the latter. I was wondering if this is this a sin that would fall under bearing false witness that I should confess? I mean it's technically my real, birth name and the one which I would like to change back to but, just not my current legal name that was changed when I was a child.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 10, 2021, 07:39:54 PM
Is it a sin to use pseudonyms on social media?  
Maurice Pinay.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 12, 2021, 04:52:08 PM
Here's a question that I hadn't considered until my last confession this past Sunday that I'm seeking a bit of clarification on.

If someone with scrupulosity is genuinely concerned that they remembered that there was a major past sin which they had not previously confessed and they felt the need to go to confess it elsewhere in order to make sure they had done their part to truly complete the act of reconciliation with God but have been advised by their confessor to refrain from doing so or making general confessions but they do it anyway out of genuine concern is that a major sin?

Despite my confessor's directions to not do this, sometimes my scrupulosity has gotten the best of me to the point where I have gone to different priests to either confess certain past sins that I have forgotten or do general confessions. So far, I've made a total of four general confessions; three of which were after my confessor advised me to not confess any past sins. Each time, I had been concerned that the previous one had been flawed in some way due to having misremembered or forgotten something for the fear of possibly not having had true contrition or a firm purpose of amendment. On one occasion, I also went elsewhere to confess a few that I had forgotten or previously misremembered in addition to any sins committed since my previous confession or ones that I was unsure about.

I've always read (though this is obviously directed at people who don't suffer with scrupulosity) that if you do forget a past sin you should confess it the next time you go to confession to complete the act of reconciliation. So that is a driving force behind the desire to confess past sins regardless despite my confessor saying to do otherwise. The issue, as I see it, not so much of not trusting God or the priests but, rather my own faults and mistakes in trying to make the confessions. I'm basically second-guessing whether or not I had true contrition and a firm purpose of amendment or if I misspoke and altered the meaning of what I was trying to confess so that the priest might have misunderstood what I wished to say without giving too much unnecessary information or otherwise.

For some background as to understanding why I'm dealing with scrupulosity, I know a good deal about basic, ontological theology and the tenants and history of the Catholic faith, moral theology was never something I really indulged in and, quite frankly, neglected. I'm actually quite new to the SSPX and going to the Traditional Latin Mass as I had been a "home aloner" for quite a while. I'm certainly no expert in moral theology and I'm still becoming accustomed to attending the Mass as, prior to this, my only experience was attending the Novus Ordo when I was a child. As you would expect, I was poorly catechized in my CCD classes which were taught by average, suburban mothers of children also making their first communion. I didn't even really understand the Trinity or what the Eucharist meant when I made my first communion in the Novus Ordo. I actually had to do my own research years later when I started taking religion seriously in order to actually start to understand what the Catholic faith really was.

Regarding the priests that I've talked to on the matter:

1. My confessor has told me to avoid any past sins, even ones that have not been confessed before. I can't recall if he's explicitly mentioned general confessions but I assumed that would be included anyway. I've really tried to adhere to his directions but it's very difficult.

2. The second priest who I talked to on this matter that heard my third general confession was very patient and understanding. He told me that it might be a good idea to go to a retreat because they will teach you how to make a general confession there. So he didn't outright forbid me from ever making one again.

3. The third priest who address this matter with me was actually the one who heard my second general confession which I ended up rushing through because he wasn't very patient or understanding. Following my third general confession, mentioned above, I had remembered that I forgot a few things or misremembered them and wanted to rectify the situation so, the following week, considering that it was only a few things which I needed to confess that I had forgotten the previous week in addition any sins committed since that point, I went back to this priest (who I've only met twice keep in mind) and he had zero patience and, quite honestly, made me feel intimidated by grilling me with questions implying that I was wasting his time so, as a result of that, I may have, out of panic, accidentally lied or was less than honest about. That could just be me second-guessing myself but, considering that if I genuinely had done so that would have been a sacrilege I didn't want to take any chances on receiving communion after that confession out of fear of committing yet another possible sacrilege. Anyway, to get to the point he basically told me "no more general confessions!" As a result of this last interaction, and feeling like I couldn't explain myself to my regular confessor, I decided to see if I could reach out to a different priest to would be willing to hear a fourth general confession.

4. I was lucky enough to find one who like the second priest that I previously mentioned was very willing to hear my general confession, was very very patient, kind and willing to help me along if I was stumbling, lost my place in my notes, or was naming of things that weren't actually sins. I mentioned to him that I was concerned that I had disobeyed my confessor "and other priests" (referencing the third priest above). He just told me to tell my confessor next time I go to confession that I made a general confession with him but didn't elaborate any further. I assume this is to make satisfaction of some sort since he did give me absolution. This makes me think that I should probably also explain the other times with the that I've not heeded his advice. Would that be necessary, optional, or just superfluous?

Now, since my confessor has at times gotten frustrated with me while however still being kind about it, as he knows that I struggle with anxiety, I'm concerned that because of all that I mentioned above regarding having disobeyed his directions on not confessing any past sins and going out of my way to make several general confessions, this might cause him to lose his temper with me, despite my sorrow, and might not give me a chance to explain what happened or possibly kick me out of the confessional and bar me from absolution thereby (hypothetically) making my situation worse than it was before. How likely do you think that would be?

I found a PDF file called "The Ten Commandments" for the Scrupulous" which, addressing this issue, advising scrupulous people to obey their confessors when they tell them to not repeat general confessions but, also says, "It’s most certainly not a sin to choose not to follow his directives, but it’s counterproductive and not at all helpful." So, considering that, it sounds like it wouldn't be, on the surface, a huge deal but, again, this is a rather unique situation.

I'd also like to clarify that my main concern for feeling such a need to make so many general confessions in order to do it "just right" is:

Firstly, my desire to not commit any sacrileges by making any bad confessions or receive Holy Communion unworthily. Secondly, my fear of dying in a state of mortal sin and, thirdly, my fear of what is happening in the world, how it is looking like it will begin to get far more draconian, with further lockdowns due to the "variants" (which would prevent interstate travel and therefore my ability to go to confession and attend Mass) as well as the possibility of major catastrophes happening such as the power grid going down (which is looking like a strong possibility if you've been following the stuff with the pre-planned cyberattacks), the door-to-door vaccine coercion, the talk of "covid isolation centers" for those who do not want to take the vaccine, the beginning stages of what looks like a secret police force, and the likelihood of martial law being declared if governments start to begin liquidating political and religious dissenters NKVD-style in these isolation centers and then telling everybody they died from covid. I know this may sound extreme or paranoid but, I'm sure a lot of people felt that things like that could never happen in Russia before the Bolshevik Revolution due to normalcy bias. Basically, I'm very concerned that with all the stuff going on in the world many of us could be facing martyrdom and, considering that these things really aren't out of the realm of possibility as it looks like we enter the last days, I would like to make sure I've made the best confession I could possibly ever give.

So, in summary I guess my question is, considering all of the above, how should I go about informing my Confessor that I made a general confession so as to fulfill what I was told to do by the last priest to heard my general confession? How would you recommend that I go about explaining the situation to my confessor as clearly and concisely as possible without having to be as thorough and detailed as I am in this post so as not to take up any unnecessary time from him time to hear others' confessions?

If someone could give me an outline of what I should say, I would greatly appreciate it because I feel like I'm going to be tongue-tied. Thanks.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 12, 2021, 05:50:32 PM
Here's a question that I hadn't considered until my last confession this past Sunday that I'm seeking a bit of clarification on.

If someone with scrupulosity is genuinely concerned that they remembered that there was a major past sin which they had not previously confessed and they felt the need to go to confess it elsewhere in order to make sure they had done their part to truly complete the act of reconciliation with God but have been advised by their confessor to refrain from doing so or making general confessions but they do it anyway out of genuine concern is that a major sin?

Despite my confessor's directions to not do this, sometimes my scrupulosity has gotten the best of me to the point where I have gone to different priests to either confess certain past sins that I have forgotten or do general confessions. So far, I've made a total of four general confessions; three of which were after my confessor advised me to not confess any past sins. Each time, I had been concerned that the previous one had been flawed in some way due to having misremembered or forgotten something for the fear of possibly not having had true contrition or a firm purpose of amendment. On one occasion, I also went elsewhere to confess a few that I had forgotten or previously misremembered in addition to any sins committed since my previous confession or ones that I was unsure about.

I've always read (though this is obviously directed at people who don't suffer with scrupulosity) that if you do forget a past sin you should confess it the next time you go to confession to complete the act of reconciliation. So that is a driving force behind the desire to confess past sins regardless despite my confessor saying to do otherwise. The issue, as I see it, not so much of not trusting God or the priests but, rather my own faults and mistakes in trying to make the confessions. I'm basically second-guessing whether or not I had true contrition and a firm purpose of amendment or if I misspoke and altered the meaning of what I was trying to confess so that the priest might have misunderstood what I wished to say without giving too much unnecessary information or otherwise.

For some background as to understanding why I'm dealing with scrupulosity, I know a good deal about basic, ontological theology and the tenants and history of the Catholic faith, moral theology was never something I really indulged in and, quite frankly, neglected. I'm actually quite new to the SSPX and going to the Traditional Latin Mass as I had been a "home aloner" for quite a while. I'm certainly no expert in moral theology and I'm still becoming accustomed to attending the Mass as, prior to this, my only experience was attending the Novus Ordo when I was a child. As you would expect, I was poorly catechized in my CCD classes which were taught by average, suburban mothers of children also making their first communion. I didn't even really understand the Trinity or what the Eucharist meant when I made my first communion in the Novus Ordo. I actually had to do my own research years later when I started taking religion seriously in order to actually start to understand what the Catholic faith really was.

Regarding the priests that I've talked to on the matter:

1. My confessor has told me to avoid any past sins, even ones that have not been confessed before. I can't recall if he's explicitly mentioned general confessions but I assumed that would be included anyway. I've really tried to adhere to his directions but it's very difficult.

2. The second priest who I talked to on this matter that heard my third general confession was very patient and understanding. He told me that it might be a good idea to go to a retreat because they will teach you how to make a general confession there. So he didn't outright forbid me from ever making one again.

3. The third priest who address this matter with me was actually the one who heard my second general confession which I ended up rushing through because he wasn't very patient or understanding. Following my third general confession, mentioned above, I had remembered that I forgot a few things or misremembered them and wanted to rectify the situation so, the following week, considering that it was only a few things which I needed to confess that I had forgotten the previous week in addition any sins committed since that point, I went back to this priest (who I've only met twice keep in mind) and he had zero patience and, quite honestly, made me feel intimidated by grilling me with questions implying that I was wasting his time so, as a result of that, I may have, out of panic, accidentally lied or was less than honest about. That could just be me second-guessing myself but, considering that if I genuinely had done so that would have been a sacrilege I didn't want to take any chances on receiving communion after that confession out of fear of committing yet another possible sacrilege. Anyway, to get to the point he basically told me "no more general confessions!" As a result of this last interaction, and feeling like I couldn't explain myself to my regular confessor, I decided to see if I could reach out to a different priest to would be willing to hear a fourth general confession.

4. I was lucky enough to find one who like the second priest that I previously mentioned was very willing to hear my general confession, was very very patient, kind and willing to help me along if I was stumbling, lost my place in my notes, or was naming of things that weren't actually sins. I mentioned to him that I was concerned that I had disobeyed my confessor "and other priests" (referencing the third priest above). He just told me to tell my confessor next time I go to confession that I made a general confession with him but didn't elaborate any further. I assume this is to make satisfaction of some sort since he did give me absolution. This makes me think that I should probably also explain the other times with the that I've not heeded his advice. Would that be necessary, optional, or just superfluous?

Now, since my confessor has at times gotten frustrated with me while however still being kind about it, as he knows that I struggle with anxiety, I'm concerned that because of all that I mentioned above regarding having disobeyed his directions on not confessing any past sins and going out of my way to make several general confessions, this might cause him to lose his temper with me, despite my sorrow, and might not give me a chance to explain what happened or possibly kick me out of the confessional and bar me from absolution thereby (hypothetically) making my situation worse than it was before. How likely do you think that would be?

I found a PDF file called "The Ten Commandments" for the Scrupulous" which, addressing this issue, advising scrupulous people to obey their confessors when they tell them to not repeat general confessions but, also says, "It’s most certainly not a sin to choose not to follow his directives, but it’s counterproductive and not at all helpful." So, considering that, it sounds like it wouldn't be, on the surface, a huge deal but, again, this is a rather unique situation.

I'd also like to clarify that my main concern for feeling such a need to make so many general confessions in order to do it "just right" is:

Firstly, my desire to not commit any sacrileges by making any bad confessions or receive Holy Communion unworthily. Secondly, my fear of dying in a state of mortal sin and, thirdly, my fear of what is happening in the world, how it is looking like it will begin to get far more draconian, with further lσcкdσωns due to the "variants" (which would prevent interstate travel and therefore my ability to go to confession and attend Mass) as well as the possibility of major catastrophes happening such as the power grid going down (which is looking like a strong possibility if you've been following the stuff with the pre-planned cyberattacks), the door-to-door vaccine coercion, the talk of "CÖVÌD isolation centers" for those who do not want to take the vaccine, the beginning stages of what looks like a secret police force, and the likelihood of martial law being declared if governments start to begin liquidating political and religious dissenters NKVD-style in these isolation centers and then telling everybody they died from CÖVÌD. I know this may sound extreme or paranoid but, I'm sure a lot of people felt that things like that could never happen in Russia before the Bolshevik ʀɛʋօʟutιօn due to normalcy bias. Basically, I'm very concerned that with all the stuff going on in the world many of us could be facing martyrdom and, considering that these things really aren't out of the realm of possibility as it looks like we enter the last days, I would like to make sure I've made the best confession I could possibly ever give.

So, in summary I guess my question is, considering all of the above, how should I go about informing my Confessor that I made a general confession so as to fulfill what I was told to do by the last priest to heard my general confession? How would you recommend that I go about explaining the situation to my confessor as clearly and concisely as possible without having to be as thorough and detailed as I am in this post so as not to take up any unnecessary time from him time to hear others' confessions?

If someone could give me an outline of what I should say, I would greatly appreciate it because I feel like I'm going to be tongue-tied. Thanks.
Print out what you wrote above and give it to him. When he tells you not to confess past sins actually obey him, otherwise this will never end and you will not advance in the spiritual life. :pray:
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: bodeens on July 12, 2021, 06:27:59 PM
nvm lol
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 06:05:17 PM
Print out what you wrote above and give it to him. When he tells you not to confess past sins actually obey him, otherwise this will never end and you will not advance in the spiritual life. :pray:
He won't have time to read it all. He only has 30 minutes to hear confessions and then leaves immediately after Mass. I'm just asking if anyone can help me figure out how to articulate this in a concise way that doesn't drone on and on. Say, for instance, you were in my situation. How would you confess this thoroughly yet also quickly?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 06:07:40 PM
My concern is that if I don't confess past sins then it's like omitting them and I still have them on my soul. I've always heard that if you forget something, confess it the next time you go to confession, that's all I've been trying to do. My concern is not making a good confession and, consequently, and receiving Holy Communion unworthily.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 06:25:13 PM
Also, is the fact that I went to additional confessors and didn't obey the directives given by my regular Confessor considered a sin in and of itself? 

In the "Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous" PDF file, it doesn't seem to give a concrete answer as it implies one thing but then says another:

"#7. You shall obey your confessor when he tells you never to repeat a general confession of sins already confessed to him or another confessor.

... The entire scenario is made more complicated by the second component of this commandment: when penitents try to get around the rule by seeing additional confessors. It’s at least less than honest to seek out another confessor to engage in the repetitive behavior. It might even be a form of deceitful enterprise.

... The consistent directive of the great saints throughout the ages ... has been to follow God’s spiritual counsel in all things. When you choose a path that isn’t supported by his strong and guiding hand, you take a step backward in your own spiritual growth and development.

It’s most certainly not a sin to choose not to follow his directives, but it’s counterproductive and not at all helpful."

So was my last general confession even valid? The priest did absolved me and just told me to until my regular confessor this Sunday that I made a general confession last Sunday. I feel like I'm not really getting any answers when I asked anyone or that no one seems to really know.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 07:24:20 PM
My concern is that if I don't confess past sins then it's like omitting them and I still have them on my soul. I've always heard that if you forget something, confess it the next time you go to confession, that's all I've been trying to do. My concern is not making a good confession and, consequently, and receiving Holy Communion unworthily.
I'm in the same boat as you actually. It's also why I haven't gotten confirmed yet. If I'm forced to get confirmed or something I guess I'll just receive once per year since that's required I guess? I'm worried I'm going to end up becoming a home-aloner because I am afraid of confirmation. At the end of the day I don't trust my own mind enough to make valid confessions. That's not to say I don't trust in God's mercy (I 100% believe if He can forgive anything) but moreso that I'm not going to be able to ever make a truly valid confession. It's not that I don't desire the Eucharist but instead can't ever be trusted to make a good confession. I worry about the validity of my confessions more than anything else. I guess I'm a bit different than you in a sense because I've concealed this "problem", although I'm not even convinced I am being scrupulous... I can't know the interior content of other confessor's minds and I'm not going to ask for a "RAM dump" of their brain during confession so I can only safely assume that I am much like everyone else here and just few talk about it. I am probably just that much worse of a person than everyone else and that is the safe assumption to make, rather than my confessions are valid and I can approach Our Lord. I honestly am starting to think the entire idea of "scrupulosity" is a meme.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 07:33:02 PM
Also, is the fact that I went to additional confessors and didn't obey the directives given by my regular Confessor considered a sin in and of itself?

In the "Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous" PDF file, it doesn't seem to give a concrete answer as it implies one thing but then says another:

"#7. You shall obey your confessor when he tells you never to repeat a general confession of sins already confessed to him or another confessor.

... The entire scenario is made more complicated by the second component of this commandment: when penitents try to get around the rule by seeing additional confessors. It’s at least less than honest to seek out another confessor to engage in the repetitive behavior. It might even be a form of deceitful enterprise.

... The consistent directive of the great saints throughout the ages ... has been to follow God’s spiritual counsel in all things. When you choose a path that isn’t supported by his strong and guiding hand, you take a step backward in your own spiritual growth and development.

It’s most certainly not a sin to choose not to follow his directives, but it’s counterproductive and not at all helpful."

So was my last general confession even valid? The priest did absolved me and just told me to until my regular confessor this Sunday that I made a general confession last Sunday. I feel like I'm not really getting any answers when I asked anyone or that no one seems to really know.
Take a deep breath, relax. (I'm serious). God wants your salvation more than you do. It helps me to relax if I try to remember that I am really confessing to Jesus. I often pray "Lord help me to make a good confession, speak through Thy Priest help me to hear, love, and obey Thee."  
I'm not sure why, but for some reason, St. Gabriel Possenti helps me greatly if I pray to him before confession. You might try praying to him or some other Saint that you are drawn to.

Just tell the Priest that you are really struggling with scruples, have made multiple general confessions even when directed not to (that's enough detail, the Priest will ask you questions if he needs more info).

Trust the Lord. If you pray what is recommended above, you'll be amazed (in a good way) at what you'll hear.
Will pray for you, please remember me at Mass.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 07:49:57 PM
At the end of the day I don't trust my own mind enough to make valid confessions.
That's what causes scruples, trusting yourself. We have to take a leap of Faith and actually trust God. And we also must learn that it is His work in us that really matters. You must let go and trust.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 08:28:00 PM
That's what causes scruples, trusting yourself. We have to take a leap of Faith and actually trust God. And we also must learn that it is His work in us that really matters. You must let go and trust.
Thanks for your response. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet so this means a lot. It would seem as though if I don't make a valid confession that's on me, not God, right? It all boils down to this: If I don't have a reliable mind I can't ever make a valid confession. That's not to say I am despairing. Maybe I'm not getting what you are saying.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 10:35:02 PM
Thanks for your response. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet so this means a lot. It would seem as though if I don't make a valid confession that's on me, not God, right? It all boils down to this: If I don't have a reliable mind I can't ever make a valid confession. That's not to say I am despairing. Maybe I'm not getting what you are saying.
I'm not clear on what you mean by a reliable mind. Are you concerned that you're forgetting sins? Or are you having trouble identifying what may have been a sin? 
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 17, 2021, 10:58:44 PM
I'm not clear on what you mean by a reliable mind. Are you concerned that you're forgetting sins? Or are you having trouble identifying what may have been a sin?
The former. At some times I think I'll remember a sin, forget to write it down and remember it later. This is only one formulation or species of this, but the point is... I am concerned that I am intentionally pushing sins out of my mind. Whether that confession is invalidated or not by this is not necessarily the problem at hand even. I try to write down all sins on paper and keep this for later but I'm not always in a position in which I can just whip out the notepad. I also think I potentially conceal sins from myself. Even doing a nightly examination of conscious I doubt I am doing this well enough. Ever since I converted and was made aware of the concept of mortal sin etc about a year and a half ago I am just in constant torture and I have to avoid confirmation and the Eucharist until I am clear. I know my priest will probably tell me something like the original poster so I intentionally avoid conversations with the priest or anyone else just so people figure I'm the quiet type that just takes my family to Mass and goes home.
Thanks so much again for responding. You have no clue how much you are helping me. Thank God for getting me on this forum so I could have this conversation.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 12:38:29 AM
We are indeed called to be perfect, but we cannot make ourselves perfect by our own efforts. We are creatures, human beings, that all deal with the effects of original sin. God expects us to do what we can. He does not expect the impossible.

Torture is a good word to describe scruples; all the nagging doubts: what if I forgot this sin...what if I'm  hiding this sin... what if I'm not contrite...what if I didn't relate some detail when I confessed and misled the Priest...what if I should have known this was a sin...what if I made a bad confession and have to confess that now...
It's like being trapped in a hall of mirrors; you see yourself (ie. your sins, faults, imperfections) everywhere you look. The problem is that they are all distorted images. That is why confessors often have to set a date and order scrupulous penitents to not confess anything from before that time. (ie. "I'm going to give you the absolution, you have a clean slate, in the future don't confess anything from before right now.") If they don't the penitent will be stuck in that state and will, eventually, despair.

At first glance scruples seem horrible, and they are, but like all evils that God permits can be used for great good. Scrupulosity, used rightly, can engender humility (it's a great reminder of how weak we are), confidence in God (that's the only way through), and love of God (when we realize that he permitted it for our good).
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: jvk on July 18, 2021, 05:55:46 AM
I'm going to talk to you like I talk to one of my children.  It seems to me that you never had a good formation for Confession as a child, and now you're dealing with this as an adult.  

There are 5 things needed to make a good confession.

1.  Know your sins
2.  Be sorry for your sins.
3.  Make up your mind not to sin again
4.  Tell your sins to the priest
5.  Do the Penance the priest gives you.

That's it.  Make a good examination of conscience.  NOT over and over.  ONE good honest one.  

Then, ask for the graces to have a true sorrow for your sins.  This does NOT mean tears coursing down your cheeks every Confession!  The simple desire to have true sorrow--sorry because we've offended God--I repeat, the desire is enough.

Have a firm purpose of amendment.  Not an "Oh, well, I'll just confess it so I can go to Holy Communion, but after confession I'll go ahead and keep stealing those candy bars (or whatever)!"

Tell your sins--Now.  If you forget any...absolutely any...they are forgiven.  The important thing is to confess ALL mortal sins.  I think this is where you're getting hung up.  If you have honestly forgotten one in confession, it's still forgiven.  If you remember it later, it's ok to still go to Holy Communion--it's been forgiven, but you HAVE to confess that you forgot one at your next Confession.  But you didn't just make a bad confession!  If you have the honest will to confess all mortal sins, then Our Lord sees that.  He knows your true intent was to confess.  Since you're worried that you're pushing them out of your head, then you probably are NOT.  

And of course, do your penance.

If you fulfill all those, you've just made a good Confession.  

I think that your problem is you tend to over think things.  Remember, in order to be a mortal sin, it has to fulfill 3 conditions.  1.  Serious matter   2.  Full consent
3.  Done willingly (deliberate consent)

Serious matter--killing a man vs punching someone?  Extorting thousands of dollars vs pennies of interest on a savings account?  

You see? 

My main advice to you would be to try to be more child-like.  Children are so simple and innocent; you've got to stop this!  Of course the devil doesn't want you to go to Holy Communion and tries to trick you into thinking you've made a bad confession.

As someone else said, you must TRUST.  Pray for that grace!

I would highly reccommend the book written by Mother Mary Loyola.  It's titled "My First Confession" and is written for 8-10 year olds.  It explains the purpose of Confession and tells you how to make a good one.  It's excellent; I enjoy reading it every time I teach my children!  Very quick read; you might want to look into it.  

Good luck!  My prayers are with you.  And go to Holy Communion today!  If you're afraid you've made an unworthy confession, you probably just made a good one.  That devil is very very sneaky.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on July 18, 2021, 06:26:40 AM
Quote
If I don't have a reliable mind I can't ever make a valid confession.
Excellent advice from jvk.

Especially to be like a child.

You are too too much in your mind. Remember the devil traps us through our mind. But Jesus comes close to us if we be like children. It is a problem of our age.

And they brought to him young children, that he might touch them. And the disciples rebuked them that brought them. [14] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=48&ch=10&l=14-#x) Whom when Jesus saw, he was much displeased, and saith to them: Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God.

As a good child, trust and obey your Father, the one who stands in lieu of God for you to receive the graces you need.

Confess, Communicate, and be Confirmed. You need all the graces you can get. You especially need the gifts of the Holy Ghost.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 08:49:43 AM
If you remember it later, it's ok to still go to Holy Communion--it's been forgiven, but you HAVE to confess that you forgot one at your next Confession.  
Thank you for your post, it was very helpful. Thanks to everyone else as well. It is very much appreciated. 

However, I have a question in relation to the above. I understand that if you accidentally forgot something in confession, then you should confess it the next time but, my concern is with remembering past mortal sins, whether relatively recently (say a few months ago) or in the distant past. These are mortal sins and I feel compelled to confess them but, my confessor tells me not to confess anything from the past. This is what really is upsetting my scruples. I feel like since, when I try to confess anything from the past and the priest basically shuts me down and says "nothing from the past!" I'm therefore omitting mortal sins (albeit not intentionally; in fact, I strongly desire to confess them). I just want to confess everything I can remember so as to complete the process of reconciliation with God.

I feel like because I'm unable to confess them, they are still with me and I'm not fully absolved or, perhaps, out of trying to be obedient to the confessor and not trying hard enough to explain the situational context, I'm therefore making a sacrilege or something along those lines. 
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 10:09:40 AM
I literally just remembered something now that has me extremely concerned. When I made my last General confession a week ago, the priest told me to say "one rosary" that day as a penance. By "one rosary," I assumed he meant five decades of the Joyful Mysteries (since it was Sunday). It just occurred to me that he might have meant the 15 decades and now I'm concerned that I didn't do my penance properly after making that general confession.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 10:20:42 AM
I literally just remembered something now that has me extremely concerned. 
Don't worry about this thing. Being confused or mistaken about your penance would not invalidate your confession. Just pray a whole 15 decade rosary as soon as you can and mention the confusion about the penance to your priest if it still bothers you.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 12:43:32 PM

Thank you for your post, it was very helpful. Thanks to everyone else as well. It is very much appreciated.

However, I have a question in relation to the above. I understand that if you accidentally forgot something in confession, then you should confess it the next time but, my concern is with remembering past mortal sins, whether relatively recently (say a few months ago) or in the distant past. These are mortal sins and I feel compelled to confess them but, my confessor tells me not to confess anything from the past. This is what really is upsetting my scruples. I feel like since, when I try to confess anything from the past and the priest basically shuts me down and says "nothing from the past!" I'm therefore omitting mortal sins (albeit not intentionally; in fact, I strongly desire to confess them). I just want to confess everything I can remember so as to complete the process of reconciliation with God.

I feel like because I'm unable to confess them, they are still with me and I'm not fully absolved or, perhaps, out of trying to be obedient to the confessor and not trying hard enough to explain the situational context, I'm therefore making a sacrilege or something along those lines.

This post is, again, exactly why I came here for help and not a priest. My priest telling me that I can't confess anything from the past was going to eat me alive. Even posting in this thread made me feel alien, I felt like I was cheaply dodging a cross by asking for help. What's done is done and I really appreciate everyone helping me. Please pray for me and all others in this thread, God bless you all.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: jvk on July 18, 2021, 04:12:37 PM


However, I have a question in relation to the above. I understand that if you accidentally forgot something in confession, then you should confess it the next time but, my concern is with remembering past mortal sins, whether relatively recently (say a few months ago) or in the distant past. These are mortal sins and I feel compelled to confess them but, my confessor tells me not to confess anything from the past. This is what really is upsetting my scruples. I feel like since, when I try to confess anything from the past and the priest basically shuts me down and says "nothing from the past!" I'm therefore omitting mortal sins (albeit not intentionally; in fact, I strongly desire to confess them). I just want to confess everything I can remember so as to complete the process of reconciliation with God
I'm assuming with your worries you've made a General Confession.  I actually had this problem myself.  When I told the priest about it, he asked if I'd made a good general confession.  When I said "yes", he then told me, "Then it was forgiven.  Do not worry about it further."  So now when I wonder, I remember that advice.  I think that your confessor is trying to help you stay focused on now because dwelling on past sins -- especially those of purity -- can actually lead to new sins.  
Follow his advice!
I was also thinking you might try reading "Peace of Soul" by ???? , and "Introduction to the Devout Life" by St Francis de Sales.  Excellent books.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 04:32:52 PM
OP here, the same one who had the issue with the multiple general confessions.

I just got out of Mass moments ago. The confession went I was able to confess basically everything that I wanted to without interruption. I ask me if I could confess three mortal sins that I had remembered that I felt compelled to confess and the priest said no so I continued onward. After confessing that I had made a general confession this previous Sunday and explained further details oh, he basically told me that he will absolve me but, if I continue to not obey his directives it would probably be best if I go to a different church / chapel which really stung. This Chapel is the only one that is within a reasonable distance that I can travel to weekly. The other two chapels I've gone to I've had to travel, in one instance over 100 miles and the priest there was in my opinion very uncompassionate and I said I would never go back to that one again. The other place where I made my last general confession is over 300 miles away but the priest there was extremely nice, compassionate and understanding. One of the things I was concerned about was perhaps being kicked out of the chapel but, at least he gave me another chance. I'm going to try to stick to his directives even if I find it personally difficult and as if my mind is in a constant war with itself. Could any of you offer any thoughts for advice on this matter?

Additionally, another thing that I was concerned about was after receiving Holy Communion today, I kept the Eucharist in my mouth while praying upon returning to my pew. While I was praying, naturally, I had to build up with saliva and some seem to have dripped from the side of my mouth which caused a numbing sensation. I ended up having it down with the cuff of my sleeve. When I got out to the car, I noticed I had some pieces of white on my cuff indicating that some of the Eucharist ended up on my shirt. This caused me to immediately panic and, not knowing what to do in the situation, I tried to lick off as much of the remnants of it as I could. I'm worried that this could be a sacrilege or if I did something wrong in this regard. What should I do? Should I do something with the shirt? Would washing it while it might possibly still have the remains of the body and blood of Christ on it be sinful? What is the proper protocol for this?

Once again, thanks for your help everyone and I look forward to any thoughts, advice, or help you could offer. God bless you all.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 04:42:17 PM
Another thing that has been haunting my mind: when I made my general confession last Sunday. I was wearing a jacket since it was rainy and chilly that morning but by the time I was able to go to the confessional which in that particular chapel consists of two closets--one for the penitent the other for the priest--it was already around 11 am and the summer heat started making an appearance. I didn't take my jacket off and while I was in the confessional it was getting extremely hot and was sweating profusely. I also hadn't eaten that morning and I started feeling kind of nauseous. 

By the time that I completed the general confession and it was time to make my Act of Contrition, I was feeling like I was almost going to pass out. I was able to say the Act of Contrition but I felt like I was just rattling it off out of memory rather than being able to actually focus on what I was saying while being sincere and heartfelt one due to feeling as if I was about to pass out due to both, the stress, my high blood pressure, and the sweltering heat. I certainly was contrite and I meant what I said but, because I was feeling like I was going to pass out and not focusing intently on the prayer, I was concerned about the validity of my last general confession. Was that truly sufficient?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 05:00:41 PM


Additionally, another thing that I was concerned about was after receiving Holy Communion today, I kept the Eucharist in my mouth while praying upon returning to my pew. While I was praying, naturally, I had to build up with saliva and some seem to have dripped from the side of my mouth which caused a numbing sensation. I ended up having it down with the cuff of my sleeve. When I got out to the car, I noticed I had some pieces of white on my cuff indicating that some of the Eucharist ended up on my shirt. This caused me to immediately panic and, not knowing what to do in the situation, I tried to lick off as much of the remnants of it as I could. I'm worried that this could be a sacrilege or if I did something wrong in this regard. What should I do? Should I do something with the shirt? Would washing it while it might possibly still have the remains of the body and blood of Christ on it be sinful? What is the proper protocol for this?

Once again, thanks for your help everyone and I look forward to any thoughts, advice, or help you could offer. God bless you all.
Lick off any visible specs of the Host. Get a clean bucket, put the shirt in it, fill with warm water, let it soak to dissolve any particles, dump the water outside not down the drain. You did not do it intentionally so don't worry about it.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 05:12:35 PM
 I'm going to try to stick to his directives even if I find it personally difficult and as if my mind is in a constant war with itself. Could any of you offer any thoughts for advice on this matter?
That's the proper attitude. It may be difficult and take some time but stick with it. :pray:
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 06:26:07 PM
Lick off any visible specs of the Host. Get a clean bucket, put the shirt in it, fill with warm water, let it soak to dissolve any particles, dump the water outside not down the drain. You did not do it intentionally so don't worry about it.
Thank you very much for the help. That is a relief. How long would you recommend that I soak it for before dumping the water outside? Should I try to scrub down the area where it was (without soap obviously)? I'm also trying to think of the most respectful place I could dump the water. Would under a tree be good? Once that is done, is it ok to throw the shirt in the washing machine and then the dryer?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 07:27:03 PM
I had went out to dinner and had an alcoholic beverage about an hour after Mass. I just got home and placed the shirt in a bucket of warm water but before that I licked off any possible residue from the Eucharist but then I realized that, considering how you're supposed to fast at least 3 hours before receiving Holy Communion, if I accidentally committed a sacrilege by licking off the remainder after having had dinner and a drink shortly before placing it in the bucket of warm water. What should I do?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 07:33:44 PM
Thank you very much for the help. That is a relief. How long would you recommend that I soak it for before dumping the water outside? Should I try to scrub down the area where it was (without soap obviously)? I'm also trying to think of the most respectful place I could dump the water. Would under a tree be good? Once that is done, is it ok to throw the shirt in the washing machine and then the dryer?
Licking it off was done to prevent a sacrilege, no fasting required even for a layman.
I'd leave it soak overnight, if there are any particles that will dissolve them. Agitating the shirt in the water a bit would be good. Wring it out then wash as normal. Under a tree is fine, the main thing is not to pour it into a sewer.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 08:21:57 PM
Licking it off was done to prevent a sacrilege, no fasting required even for a layman.
I'd leave it soak overnight, if there are any particles that will dissolve them. Agitating the shirt in the water a bit would be good. Wring it out then wash as normal. Under a tree is fine, the main thing is not to pour it into a sewer.
Thanks again.
I'm also glad that this thread has served to help another anonymous individual who is going through a nearly identical situation as to what I am going through.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 08:25:36 PM
Another thing that has been haunting my mind: when I made my general confession last Sunday. I was wearing a jacket since it was rainy and chilly that morning but by the time I was able to go to the confessional which in that particular chapel consists of two closets--one for the penitent the other for the priest--it was already around 11 am and the summer heat started making an appearance. I didn't take my jacket off and while I was in the confessional it was getting extremely hot and was sweating profusely. I also hadn't eaten that morning and I started feeling kind of nauseous.

By the time that I completed the general confession and it was time to make my Act of Contrition, I was feeling like I was almost going to pass out. I was able to say the Act of Contrition but I felt like I was just rattling it off out of memory rather than being able to actually focus on what I was saying while being sincere and heartfelt one due to feeling as if I was about to pass out due to both, the stress, my high blood pressure, and the sweltering heat. I certainly was contrite and I meant what I said but, because I was feeling like I was going to pass out and not focusing intently on the prayer, I was concerned about the validity of my last general confession. Was that truly sufficient?
If anyone could give me some input on this particular issue, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 08:33:38 PM
 I certainly was contrite and I meant what I said but, because I was feeling like I was going to pass out and not focusing intently on the prayer, I was concerned about the validity of my last general confession. Was that truly sufficient?
Yes, you were sorry for your sins and did what you could in the moment.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on July 18, 2021, 08:56:44 PM
...... he basically told me that he will absolve me but, if I continue to not obey his directives it would probably be best if I go to a different.....

I'm going to try to stick to his directives even if I find it personally difficult and as if my mind is in a constant war with itself. Could any of you offer any thoughts for advice on this matter.

it seems you have been greatly blessed in your confessor. 

The underlined brought to mind St Paul, who also found himself in the situation of being in constant war with himself, so you are in good company.

[15] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=15-#x) For that which I work, I understand not. For I do not that good which I will; but the evil which I hate, that I do. 
[15] "I do not that good which I will": The apostle here describes the disorderly motions of passion and concupiscence; which oftentimes in us get the start of reason: and by means of which even good men suffer in the inferior appetite what their will abhors: and are much hindered in the accomplishment of the desires of their spirit and mind. But these evil motions, (though they are called the law of sin, because they come from original sin, and violently tempt and incline to sin,) as long as the will does not consent to them, are not sins, because they are not voluntary.
[16] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=16-#x) If then I do that which I will not, I consent to the law, that it is good. [17] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=17-#x)Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. [18] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=18-#x) For I know that there dwelleth not in me, that is to say, in my flesh, that which is good. For to will, is present with me; but to accomplish that which is good, I find not. [19] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=19-#x) For the good which I will, I do not; but the evil which I will not, that I do. [20] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=20-#x) Now if I do that which I will not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 
[21] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=21-#x) I find then a law, that when I have a will to do good, evil is present with me. [22] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=22-#x) For I am delighted with the law of God, according to the inward man: [23] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=23-#x) But I see another law in my members, fighting against the law of my mind, and captivating me in the law of sin, that is in my members. [24] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=24-#x)Unhappy man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? [25] (http://www.drbo.org/cgi-bin/d?b=drb&bk=52&ch=7&l=25-#x) The grace of God, by Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with the mind serve the law of God; but with the flesh, the law of sin.
Romans 7
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 09:14:44 PM
By the time that I completed the general confession and it was time to make my Act of Contrition, I was feeling like I was almost going to pass out. I was able to say the Act of Contrition but I felt like I was just rattling it off out of memory rather than being able to actually focus on what I was saying while being sincere and heartfelt one due to feeling as if I was about to pass out due to both, the stress, my high blood pressure, and the sweltering heat. I certainly was contrite and I meant what I said but, because I was feeling like I was going to pass out and not focusing intently on the prayer, I was concerned about the validity of my last general confession. Was that truly sufficient?

The underlined section is perfect contrition.    You made an act of perfect contrition.  You are letting your feelings replace your faith which faith is an act of the will.
We all have feelings like you describe but recognise that if we let them dominate our thoughts/actions/intentions resulting in confusion and lack of trust - then it is a bad fruit and comes from the devil.   When you start to doubt yourself, close your eyes and silently offer your suffering to God in perfect trust and peace.  Do it every time and you will be indulging in true meditation.  Show outwardly your trust in God by trusting and obeying your Confessor.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 18, 2021, 11:13:24 PM
Another question: I might have already asked this or something akin to a previously but, in the context of my recent confession today. 

When the priest said, and I'm paraphrasing here to the best of my memory, "well, if you're not going to follow my directives I don't want that on me so next time it happens I'll ask you to go to a different church"; that really stung. I wasn't intentionally trying to disobey him or do anything wrong. Basically, I got the impression that he would have preferred if I went elsewhere since, evidently, he thinks I'm a nuisance who's taking up too much of his time and that of other people seeking confession who are already better catechized and regimented when it comes to confession than I am. 

Ironically, in the confessional he made the classic comparison of the confessor as a doctor and the penitent as a patient. What immediately sprung to mind while he was saying this was that "yes, but sometimes we go to another doctor for a second opinion" (I didn't actually say this but, it was what I was thinking). Lately, he's seemed rather cold and I get the impression he views me as a nuisance or a burden. While I understand where he's coming from, I'm relatively new to the traditional scene so I'm hardly an expert on moral theology. There are a lot of unique situations that occur in our modern world which it's not easy to find answers to as to whether or not they're sins which is why I bring up things that I'm confused about in the confessional. 

Out of the 7 total SSPX priests that I've confessed to since I began attending, only 2 of them had this irritable--and what I feel to be rather presumptuous and uncharitable--attitude and treated me as if I was a nuisance for wanting to make a good confession. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive but, I think it is a fair assessment considering how I've been snapped at and also based on the body language. Look, I'm not expecting to be treated with kid gloves or with special treatment but, I do suffer from several diagnosed severe anxiety and stress disorders due to a lot of psychological trauma that I've endured since I was a kid. These can often make social interaction and especially self-advocacy difficult, especially in a solemn and serious place like church where I obviously do not wish to be irreverent or disrespectful. 

To draw a comparison: of how the 2 priests who I think, based on my own personal experiences with them, have shown a lack of charity, patience and compassion likely due to their own personal temperaments acted in comparison to the 5 other priests who I think handled the situation with charity, patience, compassion, and a willingness to understand my situation when it came to the issue of confessing things that I wasn't sure where sins:

1. The two priests would audibly make their frustration known by sighing, snapping at me and saying things like "*Sigh* do you have any real sins to confess?" Overall making me feel like I was wasting their time and to hurry up and get out of the confessional to make room for people who have "real" problems in comparison to mine which they seem to perceive as meaningless. They just seem to chalk it up to scrupulosity and don't seem to consider that, despite having scrupulosity, I may actually have a legitimate mortal sin that I need to confess. Instead, these two priests would both essentially say, despite me not being done with my confession, okay, we're done here. They didn't seem to realize nor would they allow me to explain that I had stuff which I knew were mortal sins in my list that I hadn't gotten to yet.

2. Meanwhile the priest the who heard my general confession was extremely kind, patient, and understanding. If I said something that wasn't a sin but, was unsure about, he just chuckled and said "Oh, that's not a sin. Don't worry about it." Same thing with the others.

The difference in the temperament was more than obvious to me.

Confession can be nerve wracking so you'd think they would want to make it as welcoming of an experience as possible but, honestly I think the two priests in question are just burnt out.

So, given that context, I'm wondering if I need to confess criticizing my confessor next week. I don't think I said anything insulting, slanderous, or libelous about him to others whom I've spoken to about this issue but I have expressed frustration and confoundment. But, I would say sadness and disappointment is more of an accurate description of my feelings and what I've said to others seeking counsel on the matter. Is this something I'm going to need to confess? It will certainly make the whole situation much more difficult and would probably finally seal the deal in him not wanting me to return to the chapel.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 19, 2021, 12:54:32 AM
It is painful and upsetting when a Priest is harsh and impatient, especially during confession when we are so vulnerable.
For several years I was able to go to confession every week. I was often the first or second person in line and the Priest always seemed so harsh and grumpy. What I found over time though was that if I were fourth or fifth in line he was really pleasant. I think the poor guy just needed to warm up a bit and then he was OK.

Remember the prayer posted earlier?
Quote
Lord help me to make a good confession, speak through Thy Priest help me to hear, love, and obey Thee.

Over time I began to understand more clearly and deeply that we really are confessing to Jesus and that if I prayed and listened I would hear what I needed no matter how the Priest acted. I went back to being first in line.

Also, as you learn and grow, your confessions will become more clear and succinct, less forced and more natural. It takes time, prayer, study. and Grace but it really is worth it.

As far as criticizing Priests, nothing that you have described seems sinful (or at least not mortal). Detach as much as you are able from the raw emotions involved and do your best to seek what God is trying to teach you.

Not to overburden you with devotions, but praying 7 Hail Marys in honor of our Lady's sorrows everyday will bring you some very helpful Graces.

The Seven Sorrows or Dolors of Mary are listed below and a key to understanding them, and thus consoling her, is to recognise that the more she loved Jesus (and she loved Him perfectly) the more intensely sorrow filled her Immaculate Heart. Her martyrdom lasted 33 years, for St. Simeon revealed to her in excruciating detail what lay ahead for her dearest son, our Lord Jesus Christ. As such, all her joys became inexorably coloured with sorrow. And she endured these pains perfectly, with patience, humility and obedience, offering them to Almighty God for the salvation of poor sinners.

1) The Prophecy of Simeon
2) The Flight Into Egypt
3) The Loss of the Child Jesus in the Temple
4) Mary Meets Jesus on the Way to Calvary
5) Jesus Dies on the Cross
6) Mary Receives Jesus
7) Jesus is Placed in the Tomb

Graces and promises attached to the practice of the devotion in honour of the Blessed Virgin Mary Sorrowing:
According to St. Alphonsus de Liguori (The Glories of Mary) it was revealed to Saint Elizabeth that at the request of Our Lady, Our Lord promised four principal graces to those devoted to Her Sorrows:
1) That those who before death invoke the divine Mother in the name of Her Sorrows will obtain true repentance of all their sins;
2) That He will protect all who have this devotion in their tribulations, and will protect them especially at the hour of death;
3) That He will impress on their minds the remembrance of His Passion;
4) That He will place such devout servants in Mother Mary’s hands to do with them as She wishes and to obtain for them all the graces She desires.

In addition to these four graces there are also seven promises attached to the practice of daily praying seven Hail Marys while meditating on Our Lady’s Tears and Sorrows. These seven promises were revealed to St. Bridget of Sweden:

1) “I will grant peace to their families.”
2) “They will be enlightened about the divine Mysteries.”
3) “I will console them in their pains and I will accompany them in their work.”
4) “I will give them as much as they ask for as long as it does not oppose the adorable will of My divine Son or the sanctification of their souls.”
5) “I will defend them in their spiritual battles with the infernal enemy and I will protect them at every instant of their lives.”
6) “I will visibly help them at the moment of their death — they will see the face of their Mother.”
7) “I have obtained this grace from My divine Son, that those who propagate this devotion to My tears and sorrows will be taken directly from this earthly life to eternal happiness, since all their sins will be forgiven and My Son will be their eternal consolation and joy.”
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on July 19, 2021, 01:04:14 AM
To tell you the truth, you seem totally preoccupied with self. 

The priest may counsel you but he is essentially your confessor not your therapist. 
If you want strokes you will have to go a different route.
Get yourself some charitable work to do.
Stop comparing / analyzing your priest.
Thank God you have a priest to confess to. Many of us do not.
Give him some leeway and a break.
Obey him or you will never get out of this bind.

The saints were generally happy to be treated badly, not that I think you have been, so they could suffer for Christ.

Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 19, 2021, 02:24:00 AM
To tell you the truth, you seem totally preoccupied with self.
Well, yeah. That's unfortunately part of my condition. Once again, I'm not making excuses for it or demanding special treatment but, it's not something that's easily overcome. Some patience is necessary. I'm not asking for him "to be my therapist," I'm simply asking for him to hear my confession and give me spiritual guidance. I didn't feel as if I was receiving any and consequently went elsewhere. I don't know how you expect spiritual growth to occur if you're not even allowed to inquire about things that you're seeking answers to. You're acting as if I'm supposed to automatically be some sort of expert in moral theology, and know how to do everything perfectly right off the bat, implying that I'm being "ungrateful" which is a complete mischaracterization and is itself uncharitable. As I've explained, I'm relatively new to this and am trying to learn to the best of my ability. 

It takes a lot of time and effort to be able to overcome intense self-doubt. It's not something you can just "get over" overnight unless you're so blessed has to be healed through miraculous means. If you've never struggled with obsessive compulsive disorder or scrupulosity (which is a subset of OCD) it might seem inconsequential to you (as this disorder is often the butt of jokes and made to seem "funny") but, as anyone who has dealt with this can tell you, it is nothing short of psychological torture. As the other Anonymous poster who is dealing with a similar situation to that of mine has said, I have no doubt in the power of God to forgive all sins. What I doubt is myself and my ability to make good confessions. It doesn't help when you're in a state of perpetual uncertainty.

Two other people who attend the same chapel have told me that they struggle with similar issues also due to anxiety. One of which said that they've done the same thing--going elsewhere for confessions--because they feel intimidated and as if they're an annoyance to the priest in the confessional for simply trying to make a good confession to the best of their ability so clearly this isn't an isolated incident if others are reporting the same thing.

I have absolutely no malice towards my confessor. I'm just frustrated as I don't think he understands my situation and is making presumptions about it. What I do have is disappointment and confoundment. I've already said I intend on keeping his directives despite how stressful it may be. I'm just trying to learn and I don't think there's any reason to shame, patronize, or condescend to anyone for that, especially someone who is new to all of this.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on July 19, 2021, 06:25:41 AM
I regret that I have expressed myself so harshly. This is how your posting complaints about your confessor appeared to me, but I should have said what I sincerely perceive with more kindness. I tend to be abrupt but not unsympathetic or judgmental.

Apart from that that, I do not ever use ridicule as you may think - “ it may seem inconsequential to you, butt of jokes etc.” - that is not my style, You acknowledge that being preoccupied with self is “unfortunately part of my condition”.

May I humbly suggest that this priest is specially chosen for you, because he seems to be hard on you?
God knows your needs. Be careful not to hang on to your condition. Be prepared to give it up. This may seem like a hard saying but God wants you healed.  

I had better not say any more but I promise I will pray for you in your struggle.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 24, 2021, 10:48:33 AM
I regret that I have expressed myself so harshly. This is how your posting complaints about your confessor appeared to me, but I should have said what I sincerely perceive with more kindness. I tend to be abrupt but not unsympathetic or judgmental.

Apart from that that, I do not ever use ridicule as you may think - “ it may seem inconsequential to you, butt of jokes etc.” - that is not my style, You acknowledge that being preoccupied with self is “unfortunately part of my condition”.

May I humbly suggest that this priest is specially chosen for you, because he seems to be hard on you?
God knows your needs. Be careful not to hang on to your condition. Be prepared to give it up. This may seem like a hard saying but God wants you healed.  

I had better not say any more but I promise I will pray for you in your struggle.
Thank you very much, friend. I appreciate it.
Given the current situation of the world, I'm just concerned that I'm going to die out of a state of grace and without the sacraments. I try my best but, I frequently fail and I feel like I will never be good enough to attain heaven and that that I'm beyond redemption. Of course, I don't believe this is on God's part, rather I feel as if that I'm insufficient enough to accommodate what God wants from me even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. I'm very concerned that they're going to start a new lockdown in September and consequently make it harder for us to receive the sacraments.
 
Additionally, this would possibly include labeling those of us who do not want to take the vaccine as being "threats to general health" and having us interned in isolation centers. They very may well decide to declare a state of emergency and suspend the Constitution. I greatly fear that I'm going to die in mortal sin because I'm a failure and that I haven't been able to make true peace with God, valid contrition, and to be able to amend my life. I'm constantly second-guessing myself and wondering if even the slightest thing I did was in mortal sin. I wish I had the confidence that most people you seem to have but, I am absolutely angry at myself that I cannot attain what the Saints have done. I feel as if many of the priests whom I've spoken with—though obviously not all—simply don't understand my concern about all of this and are simply just presumptuously writing me off as being paranoid or something. 

As I've said before, I'm sure a lot of people with a normalcy bias thought that this kind of stuff could never happen in Russia but, the Bolshevik Revolution occurred and the NKVD went around killing political dissidents. Sadly, I'm not able to speak with my confessor on a regular basis and I feel like I'm bothering him and being a nuisance based on his attitude. I'm certainly not trying to insult him or detract from his office but, I feel as if he's judging me harshly and doesn't quite understand where I'm coming from. Sadly, a lot of people—including other men—simply just dismiss men's psychological health problems and tell them that they're just "weak" and need to "man up," as if this is just some sort of simple thing that can be accomplished very quickly. Unfortunately, this kind of attitude leads a lot of men to commit ѕυιcιdє because they feel as if they have no one on their side. I would never do so, myself, but I can feel the empathy towards those who would. The statistics show that men overwhelmingly are treated with less compassion than women are. I'm the first to admit that I'm not perfect but, this isn't something that I can simply just change overnight. I'm simply terrified of not being able to die in a state of grace because we are probably a new worst situation mankind has ever had to deal with at the present time. I'm not actively trying to sin or anything but I often fall into temptation and I hate myself for it. I'm just looking for some spiritual guidance on things because I don't feel I have the competence to know what to do. 
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on July 25, 2021, 03:21:01 AM
Thank you for your humble and heartfelt reply. If you like, I could respond to some of your thoughts on a private message. If you do no wish to I respect that.
You are in our prayers as we pray the Rosary now.

Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2021, 10:36:30 AM
The past few weeks have gone well in confession. I wrote a letter to my priest explaining my concerns about the world and what is driving my scrupulosity and he has been very kind and understanding. But, this past weekend I wasn't able to complete my confession. The priest was very patient about it though and didn't get angry or anything but, he said I was naming off too many things that weren't sins and that it had already been 10 minutes so he had to cut it short. Despite his assurances, I always feel like if I'm unable to confess everything, even with the priest being the one to cut it short, that it's still like omitting and that I'm committing a sacrilege and that if I died I would go to hell or at least spend a long time in purgatory, possibly was no one even praying for me depending on how things play out. Obviously, I want to be able to confess everything so I'm not in constant fear of possibly dying in the state of mortal sin, or even venial sin for that matter. 

When I asked the priest after Mass just to clarify if I wasn't omitting anything since I wasn't able to confess everything because he cut it short due to time constraints and if all of the sins that I haven't confessed for that reason have still been forgiven (I would assume in a similar way to when a priest would give a general absolution during emergency) he basically said yes but also added that he "would take it upon [himself]" or something like that. Since he was busy I didn't want to keep him any longer but I was very confused as to what he meant by this. 

Does that mean that somehow my sins gets transferred to him or if he made a mistake in not letting me confess that makes us both culpable for it (since I know priests are responsible for how they lead and direct their congregation)? If it's the latter, that doesn't seem very reassuring. I know Christ told his Apostles, and by proxy their successors, whoever's sins you shall forgive shall be forgiven but, I get paralyzed in fear of doing or believing in something incorrect or sinful as opposed to getting closer to Christ and attaining sanctification and I feel like it's taking a toll on my mental health, through my own faults and shortcomings.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 12, 2021, 03:59:57 PM
The past few weeks have gone well in confession. I wrote a letter to my priest explaining my concerns about the world and what is driving my scrupulosity and he has been very kind and understanding. But, this past weekend I wasn't able to complete my confession. The priest was very patient about it though and didn't get angry or anything but, he said I was naming off too many things that weren't sins and that it had already been 10 minutes so he had to cut it short. Despite his assurances, I always feel like if I'm unable to confess everything, even with the priest being the one to cut it short, that it's still like omitting and that I'm committing a sacrilege and that if I died I would go to hell or at least spend a long time in purgatory, possibly was no one even praying for me depending on how things play out. Obviously, I want to be able to confess everything so I'm not in constant fear of possibly dying in the state of mortal sin, or even venial sin for that matter.

When I asked the priest after Mass just to clarify if I wasn't omitting anything since I wasn't able to confess everything because he cut it short due to time constraints and if all of the sins that I haven't confessed for that reason have still been forgiven (I would assume in a similar way to when a priest would give a general absolution during emergency) he basically said yes but also added that he "would take it upon [himself]" or something like that. Since he was busy I didn't want to keep him any longer but I was very confused as to what he meant by this.

Does that mean that somehow my sins gets transferred to him or if he made a mistake in not letting me confess that makes us both culpable for it (since I know priests are responsible for how they lead and direct their congregation)? If it's the latter, that doesn't seem very reassuring. I know Christ told his Apostles, and by proxy their successors, whoever's sins you shall forgive shall be forgiven but, I get paralyzed in fear of doing or believing in something incorrect or sinful as opposed to getting closer to Christ and attaining sanctification and I feel like it's taking a toll on my mental health, through my own faults and shortcomings.
Glad to hear that things are going better for you. It sounds like you have found a good Priest.
The Priest used his authority and took the responsibility on himself.  You did what you could by trying to make a good complete confession so, if you had died, any mortal sins that you did not get to confess would not be held against you.
I think it would help to spend what time you can give to reading and meditating specifically on the love of God. It will draw you closer to Christ and help to calm your mind and make it easier for you to distinguish between mortal sins, venial sins, and faults.
Is there a particular Saint who's writings you find helpful?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 02:25:46 AM
Please pray for me. I need the courage to probe my conscious without ruining my mental state. I feel like I'm losing it.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Miser Peccator on August 15, 2021, 03:29:46 AM
Please pray for me. I need the courage to probe my conscious without ruining my mental state. I feel like I'm losing it.
I'll pray for you if you pray for me!  I feel the same way.
May Our Lady of Victories help you to gently probe your conscience together and give you true contrition.
May you be reconciled to Our Lord through an act of perfect contrition and the Sacrament of Penance.
May you have to grace of performing whatever penance is just.
May you grow in true love and gratitude for Our Lord and His gift of sacrifice and mercy.
and then,
May Jesus give you His Peace and the grace of final perseverance!
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 09:46:22 AM
Glad to hear that things are going better for you. It sounds like you have found a good Priest.
The Priest used his authority and took the responsibility on himself.  You did what you could by trying to make a good complete confession so, if you had died, any mortal sins that you did not get to confess would not be held against you.
I think it would help to spend what time you can give to reading and meditating specifically on the love of God. It will draw you closer to Christ and help to calm your mind and make it easier for you to distinguish between mortal sins, venial sins, and faults.
Is there a particular Saint who's writings you find helpful?
Thanks for the response. I think I understand it better now but, should I confess the sins that I wasn't able to confess last week today? Or have those already been absolved and is that unnecessary? My priest basically says to not confess any past sins and just focus on the ones from the previous week. There's a few things I need to confess from this week that are essentially the same things I wasn't able to confess last week. Should I confess those and also mention that these are also some of the things I needed to confess last week? Another issue is that I tend to be a bit long-winded in my confessions because I'm trying to be concise and provide specific context since that's what I have read is necessary in certain instances. I'd like to be as thorough in my confession as possible, as is necessary, but not take up too much time simultaneously. I'm not sure if I'm even capable of doing it that.

Also, I'm very worried about my ability to attend Mass in the future considering that I've been hearing Biden might try to ban interstate travel and the chapel I attend is in a different state so I'm very worried that I might not be able to receive the sacraments, especially considering that the CDC has docuмents about camps for the unvaccinated. The media is really trying to paint the so-called "Delta variant" as the fault of the unvaccinated when it's clearly only affecting those who have taken the vaccine. I have a family member who works for the public school system and they might try to force him to get the vaccine and I think he's trying to rationalize getting it despite being given lots of evidence that it's dangerous. I've been telling him to hold the line and not submit to getting it and seek a religious exemption but, I just read an article saying that 99% of religious exemptions will fail because Francis accepts the vaccine so, evidently, if you try to opt out on the basis that you're a Catholic they'll tell you that doesn't matter because the Pope supports it. I'm wondering if I could ask the priest if he could provide some kind of written form of religious exemption for my family member who needs it for work and for me and other family members considering that places are already talking about banning people from supermarkets or if that will even matter. I was considering asking the priest, since for all I know I might not be able to see him again, if I could just confess a few past sins that have really been weighing on my mind that I had previously forgotten the confess. I know he tells me not to focus on past sins but, this is really upsetting me that I might be technically omitting things, although not intentionally. I know he says to trust him on this but I can't even trust my own judgment at this point.

Also please pray for me that I'm able to make a good confession today despite my anxiety and that I will be able to avoid the near occasion of sin in the future. I'll be honest, I've been a full-blown alcoholic for years and I've only been attending SSPX Chapel for close to a year now. I tried to quit drinking, in fact I gave up alcohol completely for Lent, but I find it very difficult to give up drinking completely despite it causing me health risks. Since I found out about the whole agenda behind the vaccines and all the things going on in the world today making it look like we're going to be going through the last days and it coming persecution, it has really caused me to tremendously despair, give up hope and pushed me deeper and deeper into alcoholism in order to quell my anxiety and self-medicate. I know that isn't the right solution but, it's basically the only thing that I have found that provides me any sort of solace. Unfortunately, I really don't have much of a will to live any longer (though I'm definitely *not* suicidal or deliberately trying to harm myself) and seeking any sort of rehabilitation or mental health treatment isn't really much of an option considering that they're likely going to be pushing the vax on people. I've had one doctor who I no longer trust urge me to get the vaccine. I have a feeling that by my next appointment that this doctor might "red-flag" me and falsely say that I'm "a danger to myself or others" simply because I won't get the vaccine so I'm going to try to sever ties with this doctor before that occurs. Unfortunately, I don't know where else to turn medically since I think most of these doctors are going to be doing the same thing unless I can actually find a doctor who doesn't care about whether or not I have the vaccine. I wish I could quit drinking cold turkey but I don't think that's physically possible at this point. I try to drink responsibly but I usually end up drinking too much. I'm really going to try to do better after I go to confession today but I'm living in such existential dread I don't know what to do. It's not that I don't trust in God it's that I'm just fearful for the future and this not knowing is eating me up inside and, to top it off, I don't even know if I can trust my own judgment anymore as to whether or not I'm committing sins. I'm just so overwhelmed with everything I don't know what to do.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 10:25:55 AM
As far as confessing past sins: pray for help to make a good confession, do the best that you can, and trust the Priest's judgement. If the Priest says not to confess the past then be at peace with that judgement. God will not hold those sins against you.
As far as the situation in the world: it's enough to make all of us want to drink ;).
Something that I've had to remind myself of when I start to get overwhelmed by the evil is that it too will pass. Evil seems so powerful but in reality it is temporary. God has seen fit to allow these people with their demonic agenda to rule for a bit, but they can do absolutely nothing unless He allows it. Which tells us that our only concern should be to do His will. We have to lovingly accept whatever sufferings (and joys) He sends, do our best to do fulfill the duties He has given us. Trust Him, He will provide.
I find help and consolation prayerfully reading writings by St. Francis DeSales, I encourage you to give it a try. 
https://www.ecatholic2000.com/desales/log.shtml
 
I'm headed out to Mass now. I will pray for you, please pray for me.   
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 11:06:13 AM
I'll pray for you if you pray for me!  I feel the same way.
May Our Lady of Victories help you to gently probe your conscience together and give you true contrition.
May you be reconciled to Our Lord through an act of perfect contrition and the Sacrament of Penance.
May you have to grace of performing whatever penance is just.
May you grow in true love and gratitude for Our Lord and His gift of sacrifice and mercy.
and then,
May Jesus give you His Peace and the grace of final perseverance!
Thank you so much, I will be praying for you too!
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 11:43:30 AM
As far as confessing past sins: pray for help to make a good confession, do the best that you can, and trust the Priest's judgement. If the Priest says not to confess the past then be at peace with that judgement. God will not hold those sins against you.
As far as the situation in the world: it's enough to make all of us want to drink ;).
Something that I've had to remind myself of when I start to get overwhelmed by the evil is that it too will pass. Evil seems so powerful but in reality it is temporary. God has seen fit to allow these people with their demonic agenda to rule for a bit, but they can do absolutely nothing unless He allows it. Which tells us that our only concern should be to do His will. We have to lovingly accept whatever sufferings (and joys) He sends, do our best to do fulfill the duties He has given us. Trust Him, He will provide.
I find help and consolation prayerfully reading writings by St. Francis DeSales, I encourage you to give it a try.  
https://www.ecatholic2000.com/desales/log.shtml
 
I'm headed out to Mass now. I will pray for you, please pray for me.  
Thank you. I will read what you recommended and I will keep you in my prayers today at Mass.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Angelus on August 15, 2021, 02:38:42 PM
I'm really going to try to do better after I go to confession today but I'm living in such existential dread I don't know what to do. It's not that I don't trust in God it's that I'm just fearful for the future and this not knowing is eating me up inside and, to top it off, I don't even know if I can trust my own judgment anymore as to whether or not I'm committing sins. I'm just so overwhelmed with everything I don't know what to do.
Can I ask you a few rhetorical questions?
1. How much time do you spend praying every day? How many minutes of vocal prayer? Which prayers? How many decades of the Rosary daily? How many minutes of mental prayer?
2. How much time do you spend reading the Bible, Catechism or books written by Catholic saints each day?
3. Do you attend daily mass? If so, how many days on average? Do you receive communion when you attend?
4. Have you done the Monfortian Marian Consecration? Are you enrolled in the Brown Scapular? 
No need to answer me. I ask these things because, after dealing with a lot of anxiety myself, I gained much comfort from implementing and increasing gradually those things listed. If you are not doing all of those things yet, don't worry, just try to add a little more week after week. Schedule the time to do it. Force yourself like you force yourself go get up in the morning and go to work.
Our Lady and Our Lord love you and you need to know that even if you fall from time to time (especially out of bad habits), if you are of good will, meaning you truly want to follow the Lord's commandments, even imperfect contrition is enough for absolution of mortal sins when using the Sacrament of Confession. Focus on eliminating mortal sins first. And realize that, if you are contrite, venial sins are absolved by something as simple as assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Take care and don't despair.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 05:59:25 PM
Can I ask you a few rhetorical questions?
1. How much time do you spend praying every day? How many minutes of vocal prayer? Which prayers? How many decades of the Rosary daily? How many minutes of mental prayer?
2. How much time do you spend reading the Bible, Catechism or books written by Catholic saints each day?
3. Do you attend daily mass? If so, how many days on average? Do you receive communion when you attend?
4. Have you done the Monfortian Marian Consecration? Are you enrolled in the Brown Scapular?
No need to answer me. I ask these things because, after dealing with a lot of anxiety myself, I gained much comfort from implementing and increasing gradually those things listed. If you are not doing all of those things yet, don't worry, just try to add a little more week after week. Schedule the time to do it. Force yourself like you force yourself go get up in the morning and go to work.
Our Lady and Our Lord love you and you need to know that even if you fall from time to time (especially out of bad habits), if you are of good will, meaning you truly want to follow the Lord's commandments, even imperfect contrition is enough for absolution of mortal sins when using the Sacrament of Confession. Focus on eliminating mortal sins first. And realize that, if you are contrite, venial sins are absolved by something as simple as assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Take care and don't despair.
1. I try to pray in the morning after I wake up and right before I go to bed. About 5 minutes or so each time. Usually they are prayers in my own words as well as other prayers, such as the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and Oh My Jesus. I strive to say at least one decade of the Rosary as my priest said I should say at least one decade each morning although, admittedly, I often neglect this but I'm trying to do better. As for mental prayer, I often will make acts of contrition if I slip up as well as the prayer that goes "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
2. I really should do more devotional reading more frequently. I have read a lot of the Bible but, I feel as if I've neglected doing so as much as possible. I'm going to look into catechisms and works by Catholic saints. I would appreciate it if you could recommend some, especially if they're already online which would be a lot easier for me than purchasing them due to monetary constraints.

3. The chapel where I attended Mass only offers it on Sundays and certain holy days of obligation. If I could go to daily confession and daily mass I absolutely would so but, at the moment it doesn't appear to be an option.

4. I have a brown scapular that's been blessed but I don't think I've actually been enrolled. How would I go about doing that? I haven't heard of the Monfortian Marian consecration before, though.

Thank you for your Insight. I was actually asked to assist at a High Mass at one point as the Cross Bearer but I'm very shy, kind of get stage fright, and don't want to mess up and embarrass myself which they understand. If there are other ways that can absolve one of venial sins, I would be grateful to know of them. I remember hearing once that holy water can absolve you of venial sins but, I'm not sure if there is a ritual to go about doing it that specifically will absolve venial sins.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 06:16:37 PM
Today Mass went very well, by the way. I talked to my priest and asked him if he could clarify what he meant by saying that he takes it upon himself and to paraphrase what he said to the best of my memory, he said that priests are trained to basically cut people with conditions like scrupulosity / OCD and so if I wasn't able to confess everything I wanted, including past sins, they've already been absolved which put my mind at ease about that at least.

However, after receiving Holy Communion while praying in the pew, I'm not sure but I think a very small speck of it might have fallen from my lips on the ground. I don't know if it was actually part of the Eucharist with certainty but got very nervous about that happening and figured I would mention it next week to the priest in confession. Obviously, even if it was a piece of residue from it, it wasn't intentional and I tried my best to make sure something like that didn't happen.

After Mass was over, I was talking to a friend who also attended the chapel and I was asked a question and I don't know if I technically lied or not. I was asked if I owned a particular item. I stopped and thought a minute, hesitating, and said no. Basically, I wasn't sure if the question was directed at me individually or collectively towards my family members who were also present. A family member does own the item in question but, I personally don't and I clarified that later on after worrying that I might have lied. I felt particularly bad because it happened inside the chapel and so shortly after going to confession and receiving Holy Communion and shortly after what happened in the previous paragraph.

Additionally, my priest said that as part of my penance, he wants me to try to read a catechism or find something (I think he said that something online was also a suitable alternative but, don't remember with certainty) as to what constitutes mortal and venial sins. I told him I had found a website a while back that which tried to explain the difference but, I found it confusing because there were some of the same sins listed in both categories. I think he wants me to do this by the end of today so, as of posting this, I have a remaining six hours. If anyone could recommend something that fits this criteria, I would be very appreciative. Thank you.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 15, 2021, 07:08:50 PM
This may be of some help:
https://archive.org/details/SinAndItsConsequences/page/n7/mode/2up

P.S. Thank you for praying for me today.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Angelus on August 15, 2021, 08:51:51 PM
1. I try to pray in the morning after I wake up and right before I go to bed. About 5 minutes or so each time. Usually they are prayers in my own words as well as other prayers, such as the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and Oh My Jesus. I strive to say at least one decade of the Rosary as my priest said I should say at least one decade each morning although, admittedly, I often neglect this but I'm trying to do better. As for mental prayer, I often will make acts of contrition if I slip up as well as the prayer that goes "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
2. I really should do more devotional reading more frequently. I have read a lot of the Bible but, I feel as if I've neglected doing so as much as possible. I'm going to look into catechisms and works by Catholic saints. I would appreciate it if you could recommend some, especially if they're already online which would be a lot easier for me than purchasing them due to monetary constraints.

3. The chapel where I attended Mass only offers it on Sundays and certain holy days of obligation. If I could go to daily confession and daily mass I absolutely would so but, at the moment it doesn't appear to be an option.

4. I have a brown scapular that's been blessed but I don't think I've actually been enrolled. How would I go about doing that? I haven't heard of the Monfortian Marian consecration before, though.

Thank you for your Insight. I was actually asked to assist at a High Mass at one point as the Cross Bearer but I'm very shy, kind of get stage fright, and don't want to mess up and embarrass myself which they understand. If there are other ways that can absolve one of venial sins, I would be grateful to know of them. I remember hearing once that holy water can absolve you of venial sins but, I'm not sure if there is a ritual to go about doing it that specifically will absolve venial sins.

1. Well, regarding prayer, just try to spend a little more time each day. Build up over time. For example, with vocal prayer (Rosary) try to get to at least 5 decades per day, preferably with your family, if possible. Eventually, try to say a full 15 decade Rosary every day. It might take months or years to get there. Mental prayer can just be "talking to Jesus and Mary." Tell them how stupid you have been (as we all have been) and ask for their guidance. Believe that they really are there and that they hear you.

2. Maybe you should start with the Catechism of Pius X or Baltimore Catechism. I get the feeling that you are just beginning to understand the Catholic faith. Those are available online for free.

3. Ok. Go to mass as often as possible. I would go to any Tridentine Mass offered by a priest that has been validly ordained. I would not care if independent, Resistance, SSPX, FSSP, ICKSP, Diocesan. If a valid priest says the Tridentine mass, the Eucharist is valid and the mass should be the same.

4. Ask the priest at your chapel to enroll you in the Brown Scapular. Make sure to read about your responsibilities and the promises associated with it. For the Consecration, buy this book (https://angeluspress.org/collections/vendors?q=Fr.%20Helmuts%20Libietis) and follow the instructions.

When I said "assist" at Mass, I meant "attend" mass like any lay person would. You do not need to be an altar server to receive absolution of venial sins. Just attending with the proper dispositions is enough.

Remember, for YOU to be guilty of mortal sin requires three elements: 1) the act must be a SERIOUS sin as defined by the Church, 2) YOU must KNOW it is a serious sin at the time that you commit it, 3) YOU must INTENTIONALLY choose to commit the sin. If you understand what these three requirements mean, I think you will find that many of the sins you are committing are actually venial. You don't sound like the kind of person who doesn't care about offending God, which is the hallmark of a mortally sinful person. For a typical Catholic, KNOWINGLY and INTENTIONALLY committing a mortal sin should be very rare. Remember, habitual sins are not necessarily mortal if you are trying to avoid them, but you find it hard to stop the bad behavior immediately. So don't beat yourself up if you keep committing that habitual sin for a while. But over time, you should gain more control over those bad habit as more grace comes to you.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Angelus on August 15, 2021, 09:35:44 PM
Today Mass went very well, by the way. I talked to my priest and asked him if he could clarify what he meant by saying that he takes it upon himself and to paraphrase what he said to the best of my memory, he said that priests are trained to basically cut people with conditions like scrupulosity / OCD and so if I wasn't able to confess everything I wanted, including past sins, they've already been absolved which put my mind at ease about that at least.

However, after receiving Holy Communion while praying in the pew, I'm not sure but I think a very small speck of it might have fallen from my lips on the ground. I don't know if it was actually part of the Eucharist with certainty but got very nervous about that happening and figured I would mention it next week to the priest in confession. Obviously, even if it was a piece of residue from it, it wasn't intentional and I tried my best to make sure something like that didn't happen.

After Mass was over, I was talking to a friend who also attended the chapel and I was asked a question and I don't know if I technically lied or not. I was asked if I owned a particular item. I stopped and thought a minute, hesitating, and said no. Basically, I wasn't sure if the question was directed at me individually or collectively towards my family members who were also present. A family member does own the item in question but, I personally don't and I clarified that later on after worrying that I might have lied. I felt particularly bad because it happened inside the chapel and so shortly after going to confession and receiving Holy Communion and shortly after what happened in the previous paragraph.

Additionally, my priest said that as part of my penance, he wants me to try to read a catechism or find something (I think he said that something online was also a suitable alternative but, don't remember with certainty) as to what constitutes mortal and venial sins. I told him I had found a website a while back that which tried to explain the difference but, I found it confusing because there were some of the same sins listed in both categories. I think he wants me to do this by the end of today so, as of posting this, I have a remaining six hours. If anyone could recommend something that fits this criteria, I would be very appreciative. Thank you.

Having a speck of the Eucharist falling from your mouth ACCIDENTALLY is not a sin. You cannot be culpable for an act that you did not intend to commit. Even mentioning this in confession is unnecessary.

Unintentionally saying something that COULD BE interpreted as a falsehood is not a sin. If you were not intending to lie at the time that you said the words, you cannot be culpable for the act.

Please understand that Jesus wants you to be with Him in heaven. He is not a nitpicker, trying to exclude you from Paradise for making a small mistake or doing something accidentally. Use this guide to discriminate between mortal and venial sins:

https://www.prayinglatin.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Examination-of-Conscience-for-Adults.pdf
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 16, 2021, 12:50:17 AM
This may be of some help:
https://archive.org/details/SinAndItsConsequences/page/n7/mode/2up

P.S. Thank you for praying for me today.
Thank you all for praying for me too. I am praying for you all.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 08:20:26 PM
I am at a point where I don't think I have or ever can be in a state of grace. There's just no reason to believe any confession I've ever made or will make unless God is completely in control of me during it is valid. I will keep going to confession multiple times a week but will not seek confirmation or Eucharist, this way I'm not guilty of sacrilege. Even though this is obviously not ideal since you should receive Holy Communion at least once a year but sacrilege is a much worse circle in Hell than the alternative. This doesn't seem to be despair because of how it is formulated, but the problem I'm seeing is that I can't have an honest confession at some point if I refuse to receive the Eucharist at least once a year, so then the bad confessions start stacking up. I'm worried this, rather than the aforementioned, will lead me to despair. Anyone else have this issue or a similar one and how to approach it?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 08:56:08 PM
I am at a point where I don't think I have or ever can be in a state of grace. There's just no reason to believe any confession I've ever made or will make unless God is completely in control of me during it is valid. I will keep going to confession multiple times a week but will not seek confirmation or Eucharist, this way I'm not guilty of sacrilege. Even though this is obviously not ideal since you should receive Holy Communion at least once a year but sacrilege is a much worse circle in Hell than the alternative. This doesn't seem to be despair because of how it is formulated, but the problem I'm seeing is that I can't have an honest confession at some point if I refuse to receive the Eucharist at least once a year, so then the bad confessions start stacking up. I'm worried this, rather than the aforementioned, will lead me to despair. Anyone else have this issue or a similar one and how to approach it?
Please do not stay away from Holy Communion. I understand, as much as another person can, how difficult this is for you, but you must abandon yourself to God. Ask your confessor about receiving communion and go when he tells you. Don't be afraid to talk to Jesus the way you are talking to me. Strange as it may sound these difficulties indicate that He is calling you to a special intimacy by requiring a profound humility and complete abandonment to Him.
Tell yourself, tell Him, I'm not quitting not now not ever no matter what.

It sounds corny but if it helps listen to things like this to help give you the right attitude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC6sMFbL288
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 10:28:00 PM
Please do not stay away from Holy Communion. I understand, as much as another person can, how difficult this is for you, but you must abandon yourself to God. Ask your confessor about receiving communion and go when he tells you. Don't be afraid to talk to Jesus the way you are talking to me. Strange as it may sound these difficulties indicate that He is calling you to a special intimacy by requiring a profound humility and complete abandonment to Him.
Tell yourself, tell Him, I'm not quitting not now not ever no matter what.

It sounds corny but if it helps listen to things like this to help give you the right attitude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC6sMFbL288
Your point about abandonment seems sound but I'm not Baptized as a Catholic (need a conditional Baptism) and I'm not confirmed so Eucharist is out of reach until at least next year. If receiving with an unclean conscious that doesn't seem like the greatest idea, even if you have a valid point. I think at the very least I will have to wait until those two conditions are met so there are some degrees of "guarantee" and I am not just throwing myself straight into Hell not knowing if I am validly Baptized or not. Doubting my ability to discern anything God is telling me seems safe, perhaps this is an error that prevents progress but it doesn't seem like it will lead me directly into Hell on its own. Believing personal revelation just seems like a slippery slope. Not making progress seems better than slipping into a more dangerous error.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 10:34:49 PM
Your point about abandonment seems sound but I'm not Baptized as a Catholic (need a conditional Baptism) and I'm not confirmed so Eucharist is out of reach until at least next year. If receiving with an unclean conscious that doesn't seem like the greatest idea, even if you have a valid point. I think at the very least I will have to wait until those two conditions are met so there are some degrees of "guarantee" and I am not just throwing myself straight into Hell not knowing if I am validly Baptized or not. Doubting my ability to discern anything God is telling me seems safe, perhaps this is an error that prevents progress but it doesn't seem like it will lead me directly into Hell on its own. Believing personal revelation just seems like a slippery slope. Not making progress seems better than slipping into a more dangerous error.
Have you addressed these things with your confessor? What did he advise you in regards to Baptism?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 11:25:06 PM
Have you addressed these things with your confessor? What did he advise you in regards to Baptism?


On the former point I don't want to establish myself as potentially scrupulous, I want my confessions treated the same as anyone elses. I am a bit afraid to on the latter point. I know that some of the priests at my chapel will ask me about bod if I seem scrupulous on the matter and then I might get the boot and be refused absolution etc. I'm trying to find a chapel that would be safe to ask for a conditional Baptism at where it will be a "no questions asked" affair.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 11:34:11 PM

On the former point I don't want to establish myself as potentially scrupulous, I want my confessions treated the same as anyone elses. I am a bit afraid to on the latter point. I know that some of the priests at my chapel will ask me about bod if I seem scrupulous on the matter and then I might get the boot and be refused absolution etc. I'm trying to find a chapel that would be safe to ask for a conditional Baptism at where it will be a "no questions asked" affair.
Are you the OP of this thread or someone else?

Quote
On the former point I don't want to establish myself as potentially scrupulous, I want my confessions treated the same as anyone elses.

If you are not going to be open and honest with your confessor you will not get anywhere.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 27, 2021, 11:40:49 PM
Are you the OP of this thread or someone else?

If you are not going to be open and honest with your confessor you will not get anywhere.
I am not the OP, but OP did have a problem with confessors because they could tell he was scrupulous. If you were going to SGG and asked for a conditional Baptism with Cekada you'd probably get refused, why is it unreasonable to be afraid of getting cut off from Sacraments?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Nadir on August 27, 2021, 11:55:10 PM
If you are not baptised then you cannot receive the Sacrament of Penance (Confession).

You must have received the Sacrament of Baptism in order to receive the Sacraments of Penance or the Eucharist. You do not have to be Confirmed to receive the Sacraments of Penance or the Eucharist. 

You should be sorting this out with your priest, rather than here where you can be confused with the OP.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 28, 2021, 12:21:33 AM
I am not the OP, but OP did have a problem with confessors because they could tell he was scrupulous. If you were going to SGG and asked for a conditional Baptism with Cekada you'd probably get refused, why is it unreasonable to be afraid of getting cut off from Sacraments?
The advice given earlier was based on previous experience with the OP and thinking that I was addressing that person. You are a different person with different problems consequently the advice needed may be different. One size does not fit all.
Scrupulosity is a real problem, trying to hide that from your confessor is a mistake. You are probably not fooling him in the least but there is little that he or anyone else can do if you are not willing to be honest. It's probably difficult for you to recognize it but you appear to be trying to manipulate the Priest and even God himself because you are afraid. I recommend spending as much time as you are able before the Blessed Sacrament. He will help you to have courage.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 29, 2021, 09:20:36 PM
https://archive.org/details/TheWayOfInteriorPeace/page/n17/mode/2up
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 11:44:15 AM
OP here, just a few questions before I go to confession and attend Mass today.

Last Sunday, before Mass started and after I did my penance, I noticed that the pew in front of me was moved a bit forward which made it harder to use the kneeler which had been occurring frequently in previous weeks so I moved it back a bit but, then realized that it might cause the same issue for the people in front. I don't think I did it to be selfish or spiteful--though that thought crossed my mind--so I moved both that pew and my pew forward as well to correct it.

Additionally, after that, when the collection was going around, I asked a family member for another dollar--suddenly I thought I might have done this to appear more righteous by contributing more than I usually do so I gave the dollar back to him so he could contribute it himself.

I was also dealing with several intrusive thoughts prior to Holy Communion, I'm not sure if I consented to them but I did pray for for them to leave my mind then said several acts of contrition before receiving. I really hope I didn't receive unworthily because of the aforementioned reasons.

Any advice on this would be helpful.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 11:50:51 AM
OP here, just a few questions before I go to confession and attend Mass today.

Last Sunday, before Mass started and after I did my penance, I noticed that the pew in front of me was moved a bit forward which made it harder to use the kneeler which had been occurring frequently in previous weeks so I moved it back a bit but, then realized that it might cause the same issue for the people in front. I don't think I did it to be selfish or spiteful--though that thought crossed my mind--so I moved both that pew and my pew forward as well to correct it.

Additionally, after that, when the collection was going around, I asked a family member for another dollar--suddenly I thought I might have done this to appear more righteous by contributing more than I usually do so I gave the dollar back to him so he could contribute it himself.

I was also dealing with several intrusive thoughts prior to Holy Communion, I'm not sure if I consented to them but I did pray for for them to leave my mind then said several acts of contrition before receiving. I really hope I didn't receive unworthily because of the aforementioned reasons.

Any advice on this would be helpful.
Your so scruplus!.
GAH my sins are so horrific if this is the stuff you lot are worried about .
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 12:19:52 PM
OP again. Another thing that I've been racking my brain about is: is it necessary that I make a public abjuration of any past heresies or other theological errors I've publicly spoken in the past since I've privately corrected and abjured any perceived erroneous beliefs in my own mind and heart, in the sacrament of confession, as well as to those closest to me but, not on in a public forum. At least least for some of them, I'm not exactly sure if they actually are anathema or just theoretical speculations and therefore technically permissible but, regardless, I will continue to refrain from speaking about certain complex subjects that are beyond my limited scope of knowledge in the future. Is this something I should confess or is the private abjuration of any past heretical beliefs in the sacrament of confession sufficient?
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Matthew on September 05, 2021, 12:55:01 PM
Quote
You're so scrupulous!.
GAH my sins are so horrific if this is the stuff you lot are worried about .

I agree!

The only thing OP left out was: "I stepped on a cross-shaped crack on the way to Mass today. Am I damned?"

I will say though: he seems to have a high opinion of himself. His (buried?) pride suggests to him that these (tiny) sins -- sins which he might very well realize are extremely tiny imperfections -- are the worst thing he needs to worry about in his spiritual life. There are probably other, graver issues in his spiritual life, which the devil is HAPPY to distract him from, by casting his attention on irrelevant minutiae like how he moves the pews during Mass.

Often times a scrupulous person is straining out a gnat, while swallowing a camel in some other department. Classic.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 01:17:26 PM
I agree!

The only thing OP left out was: "I stepped on a cross-shaped crack on the way to Mass today. Am I damned?"

I will say though: he seems to have a high opinion of himself. His (buried?) pride suggests to him that these (tiny) sins -- sins which he might very well realize are extremely tiny imperfections -- are the worst thing he needs to worry about in his spiritual life. There are probably other, graver issues in his spiritual life, which the devil is HAPPY to distract him from, by casting his attention on irrelevant minutiae like how he moves the pews during Mass.

Often times a scrupulous person is straining out a gnat, while swallowing a camel in some other department. Classic.
Believe me, I'm fully recognize that I'm an imperfect sinner and am aware of all my objectively grave sins which I struggle with and that I write down when I slip up. I never fail to leave those out during confession. The things that I named are not are not the worst things I need to worry about but, I worry about them because I don't want to omit anything and make a bad confession.

With regards to the pews, it not moving them per se but rather doing so possibly being uncharitable towards those in front of me right after penance and before Communion, likewise the second issue is about self-righteousness, and the third, I worried that I consented to bad intrusive thoughts before receiving Communion. Again, it's about not wanting to omit anything.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 04:33:30 PM
OP here, just a few questions before I go to confession and attend Mass today.

Last Sunday, before Mass started and after I did my penance, I noticed that the pew in front of me was moved a bit forward which made it harder to use the kneeler which had been occurring frequently in previous weeks so I moved it back a bit but, then realized that it might cause the same issue for the people in front. I don't think I did it to be selfish or spiteful--though that thought crossed my mind--so I moved both that pew and my pew forward as well to correct it.

Additionally, after that, when the collection was going around, I asked a family member for another dollar--suddenly I thought I might have done this to appear more righteous by contributing more than I usually do so I gave the dollar back to him so he could contribute it himself.

I was also dealing with several intrusive thoughts prior to Holy Communion, I'm not sure if I consented to them but I did pray for for them to leave my mind then said several acts of contrition before receiving. I really hope I didn't receive unworthily because of the aforementioned reasons.

Any advice on this would be helpful.

Quote
Believe me, I'm fully recognize that I'm an imperfect sinner and am aware of all my objectively grave sins which I struggle with and that I write down when I slip up. I never fail to leave those out during confession. The things that I named are not are not the worst things I need to worry about but, I worry about them because I don't want to omit anything and make a bad confession.

With regards to the pews, it not moving them per se but rather doing so possibly being uncharitable towards those in front of me right after penance and before Communion, likewise the second issue is about self-righteousness, and the third, I worried that I consented to bad intrusive thoughts before receiving Communion. Again, it's about not wanting to omit anything.
You're doing OK O.P. The fact that you are so uncertain about the matters that you listed means that you did not commit a mortal sin.
I know that you are bothered by these anxieties. Something that I have found helpful is to thank God for these troubles (especially when you do not feel like it and do not understand how they could be for the good). When these thoughts come just pray something like: "thank you for allowing this, Father,  because I know that it is for the best". Simple trust and confidence will take you to God more quickly and perfectly than anything else.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 04:35:32 PM
OP again. Another thing that I've been racking my brain about is: is it necessary that I make a public abjuration of any past heresies or other theological errors I've publicly spoken in the past since I've privately corrected and abjured any perceived erroneous beliefs in my own mind and heart, in the sacrament of confession, as well as to those closest to me but, not on in a public forum.
What you have done is, in most cases, sufficient. A formal public adjuration might be called for if you are a widely known public figure or cleric who has clearly taught heresy. I would consult you confessor and abide by his judgement in the matter.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 05, 2021, 04:38:49 PM
https://archive.org/details/wayofinteriorpea00lehe/page/n5/mode/2up

This was posted above. After an initial reading it appears to be really good and worth the time.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 15, 2021, 07:15:19 AM
The former. At some times I think I'll remember a sin, forget to write it down and remember it later. This is only one formulation or species of this, but the point is... I am concerned that I am intentionally pushing sins out of my mind. Whether that confession is invalidated or not by this is not necessarily the problem at hand even. I try to write down all sins on paper and keep this for later but I'm not always in a position in which I can just whip out the notepad. I also think I potentially conceal sins from myself. Even doing a nightly examination of conscious I doubt I am doing this well enough. Ever since I converted and was made aware of the concept of mortal sin etc about a year and a half ago I am just in constant torture and I have to avoid confirmation and the Eucharist until I am clear. I know my priest will probably tell me something like the original poster so I intentionally avoid conversations with the priest or anyone else just so people figure I'm the quiet type that just takes my family to Mass and goes home.
Thanks so much again for responding. You have no clue how much you are helping me. Thank God for getting me on this forum so I could have this conversation.
This poster here. I'm overcoming scrupulosity with God's grace He has given me. Thank you everyone who interceded for me and posted moral manuals and gave advice. I am making real spiritual progress: it took a serious and complete abandonment to Jesus. Really meaning the words and thinking about them nightly before my examination - "I believe, I adore, I trust, I love thee" was a huge component in overcoming this. Never give up.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 15, 2021, 01:48:14 PM
This poster here. I'm overcoming scrupulosity with God's grace He has given me. Thank you everyone who interceded for me and posted moral manuals and gave advice. I am making real spiritual progress: it took a serious and complete abandonment to Jesus. Really meaning the words and thinking about them nightly before my examination - "I believe, I adore, I trust, I love thee" was a huge component in overcoming this. Never give up.
Thank you for sharing this. It is an example and an encouragement for us all.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 22, 2021, 07:06:27 PM
Need prayers badly. I keep having problems with repetitive blasphemous thoughts and they are getting sneakier and will add themselves into my normal thinking or if something nerves me I start having attacks. For example, I will be thinking of a person and I will imagine them saying "___ damn" or something horrible. Please pray for me to have a tender conscious. Sometimes I can't even tell if I consent to things or not and I don't want to start despairing.
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 22, 2021, 07:12:45 PM
:pray::incense:
Title: Re: Confession and scrupulosity
Post by: Ladislaus on November 22, 2021, 08:51:33 PM
Need prayers badly. I keep having problems with repetitive blasphemous thoughts and they are getting sneakier and will add themselves into my normal thinking or if something nerves me I start having attacks. For example, I will be thinking of a person and I will imagine them saying "___ damn" or something horrible. Please pray for me to have a tender conscious. Sometimes I can't even tell if I consent to things or not and I don't want to start despairing.

Is this OP?  This is a perfect example about how your scrupulosity causes you to obsess over these thoughts.  In rehashing them you are re-subjecting yourself to the temptation.  It’s actually your scrupulosity causing the thoughts to become more persistent.  Most of the stuff you mention are not even worthy matter for confession much less grave sin.  People asking why some spend fifteen minutes in the confessional can see the answer right here.

Scrupulosity is rooted in pride.

Your priest needs to order you to stop confessing anything that you could not swear before God to be a mortal sin, and you need to humbly submit.