Read an Interview with Matthew, the owner of CathInfo

Author Topic: Civilly Divorced Woman  (Read 524 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Anonymous

  • Guest
Civilly Divorced Woman
« on: April 11, 2016, 02:41:43 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I have a friend from my chapel who is civilly divorced.  A little over a year ago, her husband, who was raised traditional Catholic, deserted her and their child, and left the faith.  A civil divorce soon followed.  While she is understandably upset, she accepts that she is still married, and cannot remarry.

    My question is, on a social level, how should she present herself?  For example, when meeting new people, does she say that she is married?  Does she refer to her husband as her "ex"?  Does she still wear the wedding ring?  Should she continue using his last name, or revert to her maiden name?

    I doubt the Church has any explicit teachings about this, as it is more social question, but any guidance you can give is appreciated.

    Offline Matthew

    • Mod
    • *****
    • Posts: 21646
    • Reputation: +19105/-102
    • Gender: Male
    Civilly Divorced Woman
    « Reply #1 on: April 11, 2016, 03:16:46 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: Guest
    I have a friend from my chapel who is civilly divorced.  A little over a year ago, her husband, who was raised traditional Catholic, deserted her and their child, and left the faith.  A civil divorce soon followed.  While she is understandably upset, she accepts that she is still married, and cannot remarry.

    My question is, on a social level, how should she present herself?  For example, when meeting new people, does she say that she is married?  Does she refer to her husband as her "ex"?  Does she still wear the wedding ring?  Should she continue using his last name, or revert to her maiden name?

    I doubt the Church has any explicit teachings about this, as it is more social question, but any guidance you can give is appreciated.


    I am just guessing here, so I submit to whatever teaching the Church teaches about this issue.

    I would suggest she introduce herself as married, wear the ring, and keep her new last name.

    Going back to her maiden name, ditching the ring, or calling herself "single" would just invite the attention of any eligible bachelors who find her interesting and/or attractive. And justly so.

    The ring represents she belongs to someone. Which is true -- that is why she can't get married again. She's not being punished in some way by the Church. The Church says she can't get married again only because she is already married. That is the long and short of it.

    When someone says, "Where's your husband? I could use a golf partner." That's when you go into the details about her husband's whereabouts.

    I don't think most people would be confused though. They will get the picture soon enough. It's not like divorce is unheard of.
    Start your Amazon.com session by clicking this link, and my family and I get a commission on your purchase!


    Anonymous

    • Guest
    Civilly Divorced Woman
    « Reply #2 on: April 11, 2016, 03:19:00 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I did not reveal my divorce even to my children.  Under the guidance of a priest, I maintain socially that I am a married woman.  I have kept the name, still refer to my husband, and keep our wedding photos displayed in the home. His clothing still hangs in my closet next to mine.  I get painfully lonely at times but I do accept that I am married and must remain chaste.  

    He, unfortunately, is taking a new "wife".  And likewise he turned away from the Faith when he broke his vows.

    EDIT:  When I get asked where he is by those who aren't intimately acquainted with my situation I tell them that he lives elsewhere.

    Offline poche

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 13841
    • Reputation: +501/-1073
    • Gender: Male
    Civilly Divorced Woman
    « Reply #3 on: April 15, 2016, 12:22:41 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Quote from: Guest
    I have a friend from my chapel who is civilly divorced.  A little over a year ago, her husband, who was raised traditional Catholic, deserted her and their child, and left the faith.  A civil divorce soon followed.  While she is understandably upset, she accepts that she is still married, and cannot remarry.

    My question is, on a social level, how should she present herself?  For example, when meeting new people, does she say that she is married?  Does she refer to her husband as her "ex"?  Does she still wear the wedding ring?  Should she continue using his last name, or revert to her maiden name?

    I doubt the Church has any explicit teachings about this, as it is more social question, but any guidance you can give is appreciated.


    The Church doesn't have explicit teachings on every detail of our lives. As long as she is not putting herself out as available to be married then whatever she feels is most prudential would probably be best.

     

    Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16