Author Topic: Chrysostom on finding a wife... (Read 31082 times)

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #135 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:07:32 PM »

Excellent long post

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It’s not the only way we can release pent up aggression, we do plenty of actual fighting, arguing, battling, and ranting in real life. Masculine energy belongs in the public square.

As a man I want to quickly mention this, particularly what you said about female emotional abuse. For most men nowadays we don't have a public square except for anonymous internet forums, we literally run for risk of losing jobs and other things by speaking up with our real name or in public real life. And many of this is done by petty tyrant women who don't belong in positions of authority.

Also, when I was a child I had several female teachers (middle ages probably around menopause) who I felt were picking on me. They never acknowledged my efforts, they did not understand my emotional outbursts (i was a sensitive child), from my perspective it felt like they were out to get me, simply because I was a boy who used aggression and violence to get my way and not some passive cuck if I felt that someone wronged me. Yeah it's not good behaviour for boys to throw chairs and tables at teachers, but how else do you expect a child to 'beat' an adult? These teachers never once even tried to talk to me properly or explain things like a man should. Zero-tolerance nonsense is extremely unjust.

Boys to not sit still and behave like girls. Many refuse to accept this truth. If a child does not have proper parenting because the parents are always working or they feminist brainwashing then the child will grow up without a proper an deep understanding of the differences between men and women and has to resort to self learning on the internet. Most today do not understand these differences at a deep level, i still struggle somewhat with it, but many don't even try to learn. The long poster above clearly does understand, his post was articulate and charitable.

I can't articulate so well (especially on mobile) but I think he is intelligent enough to understand what I'm talking about in my first 2 paragraphs.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #136 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:10:30 PM »

Quote from: WorldsAway on Yesterday at 04:53:49 PM

Where are they hiding all the young, single, Feeneyite women?

There was one on this forum a few years ago, she got banned for something else. There were a few on twitter, they blocked my because I reposted Dimond content and because some twitter Dimondites were following me, as if it is a problem if they follow me

.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #137 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:24:56 PM »

I am the ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ remark poster. That long post just now was absolutely epic.
We need to have an annual, top 5 posts of cathinfo awards ceremony. Cos that would be in the top five for sure.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #138 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:34:23 PM »

I also wanted to quote what I thought were the best parts of that long post. At least the parts that struck me.

"when all the average young guy wants is the acknowledgement that “Yeah bro, you’re not crazy it’s really messed up. Here’s a beer and a burger, let’s see if there’s anything we can work on that will make things suck less.” "

"The world young men have inherited is on fire. Being aware of the problem, seeing little evidence that your forebears did anything to put out the flames, and suspecting you'll face all of it alone without the comfort of a wife and children to give your suffering greater meaning is depressing.
"

" It's like you declaring the job market is fine, having not applied for a job in 20 years, and certainly not having applied for a job since 2020. You are not qualified to comment on how bad things really are out there for young men, you do not have the authority to correct strange men in a public space, and you engaging in multiple internet arguments with men you don't know is unladylike, unbecoming of a Catholic woman, and embarrassing to your husband. If my wife behaved in this manner I would be mortified."

Indeed, it is the charitable responsibility of the male community to point out your errors loudly and repeatedly, and tell you to go to your husband with contrition, have him read your posting history, and submit to him curbing your poor behavior online."

One of the lines that I also thought was good, especially because I was trying to verbalize it was this one:

"You are on a website for Catholic Trads pushing feminist Overton Window narratives when the culture pendulum of men reasserting their masculinity is swinging back at your head."

This is so true that many boomers don't understand how much young men are actually more masculine than they fathers, and it is EXTREMELY annoying to be met with patronizing nonsense and denial about that, ESPECIALLY from a woman.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #139 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:43:06 PM »

To the long poster.

First you have some good points. Thank you.

But I think your interpretation of my intent is incorrect.

Nobody likes to be misrepresented.

And women especially do not like their family attacked, but that seems to be how you think people should behave. There is nothing I can do to change your mind.

Will I stop? I don't know. If someone made a poll about me getting off the forum and a majority wanted me to leave. I would leave.

May all have a blessed Lent.

Gray2023 · « **Reply #140 on:** **Yesterday** at 05:44:11 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 05:43:06 PM

To the long poster.

First you have some good points. Thank you.

But I think your interpretation of my intent is incorrect.

Nobody likes to be misrepresented.

And women especially do not like their family attacked, but that seems to be how you think people should behave. There is nothing I can do to change your mind.

Will I stop? I don't know. If someone made a poll about me getting off the forum and a majority wanted me to leave. I would leave.

May all have a blessed Lent.

Me, but you knew that.

Vinny · « **Reply #141 on:** **Yesterday** at 06:41:22 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 05:43:06 PM

To the long poster.

First you have some good points. Thank you.

But I think your interpretation of my intent is incorrect.

Nobody likes to be misrepresented.

And women especially do not like their family attacked, but that seems to be how you think people should behave. There is nothing I can do to change your mind.

Will I stop? I don't know. If someone made a poll about me getting off the forum and a majority wanted me to leave. I would leave.

May all have a blessed Lent.

Something men learn pretty early is that nobody gives a flying crap what your intent is when you screw up. It's best to own that you screwed up, regardless of your intent, assist in fixing the problem if requested, and then move on. Men are very forgiving when that happens. Mr Gray is probably a pretty decent guy. But through your unbridled public displays of incontinence, my impression of him isn't favorable and that's on you. And since your posting patterns are responsible for this, it's 100% in your control to fix. If Mr Gray feels attacked, have him DM me. I didn't realize I'd not checked the box.

Respect for your husband begins with you. If you don't signal with your actions and internet behavior that you respect him, why should anyone? Ask him to sit down, explain the problem, have him go through your posting history, and adjudicate the issue privately. But you'd rather have strangers on the internet resolve the situation through an internet poll. Do you not understand how weird that is? There are all kinds of speculative things I could say about what that indicates and none of them are good.

Have a blessed, repentant, and silent Lent

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #142 on:** **Yesterday** at 08:24:32 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 05:34:23 PM

This is so true that many boomers don't understand how much young men are actually more masculine than they fathers, and it is EXTREMELY annoying to be met with patronizing nonsense and denial about that, ESPECIALLY from a woman.

Yes it's very annoying/frustrating when your legitimate concerns simply get dismissed/waved away.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #143 on:** **Today** at 07:32:39 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 05:43:06 PM

To the long poster.

First you have some good points. Thank you.

But I think your interpretation of my intent is incorrect.

Nobody likes to be misrepresented.

And women especially do not like their family attacked, but that seems to be how you think people should behave. There is nothing I can do to change your mind.

Will I stop? I don't know. If someone made a poll about me getting off the forum and a majority wanted me to leave. I would leave.

May all have a blessed Lent.

ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ remark poster here.

Please pick up any catechism. Where you will learn about how "intent" is not good enough.

Our actions have OBJECTIVE value also.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #144 on:** **Today** at 08:25:41 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 05:43:06 PM

To the long poster.

First you have some good points. Thank you.

But I think your interpretation of my intent is incorrect.

The only person who knows your intent, is you.

We are criticizing you based on what you write and based on your actions.

Gray2023 · « **Reply #145 on:** **Today** at 11:13:58 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on Yesterday at 02:51:19 PM

I do not know how you could even consider it a possibility that I was using the humility of Our Blessed Mother to justify calling someone a quasi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ. I did not give any such indication.

I was merely making the point that between oneself and God, acknowledging the virtues one possesses as His gift is not pride. Of course, it is not humble to speak about one's virtues, especially in public. However, St. Francis de Sales teaches that in order to maintain one's reputation in a serious matter such as being unjustly accused of a grave sin, one may defend one's own intentions and explain their actions, and this can rightly be done by expressing that one was using a just anger in their speech.

That is not pride either, unless the anger was not just. It would be good for you to remember that the way men express things is quite different from women, and what may appear harsh or unjust to us (due to our giftedness when it comes to nurturing and compassion), it is not necessarily objectively harsh. I am not making a judgement on this particular thread, I am just sharing some concepts to keep in mind when you wish to properly interpret what men say. There are many things in Scripture that sound almost scandalizing to read if we women give in to irrational sensitivity, but it is the Word of God. For example: "Every woman that is a harlot, shall be trodden upon as dung in the way." (Ecclesiasticus 9:10)

You also did not give any context to why you were posting. Sometimes things just do not stand on their own.

A mother is very protective of her children. The comment was not directed to my children but it was directed at someone's child. A man who is not here to defend himself. When we talk about some one to point out faults we think they have, it is gossip, I think particularly detraction.

This is the post in question

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Re: Chrysostom on finding a wife...
« Reply #97 on: February 15, 2026, 12:02:55 PM »

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Quote from: Änσnymσus on February 14, 2026, 10:53:18 PM
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I have great empathy for single traditional Catholic men. My son is single at 36 and has not found a decent young lady to even consider. He accepts his lot as the will of God with hopes of finding a wife at some point. But it it were my son posting these rash, judgemental statements about traditional Catholic women, It would disturb me.

He almost certainly does think these things.

Or else is he is probably quasi ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ.

I am sorry if I misunderstood you, but I just wanted to set the record straight.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #146 on:** **Today** at 11:28:27 AM »

Quote from: Gray2023 on Today at 11:13:58 AM

You also did not give any context to why you were posting. Sometimes things just do not stand on their own.

A mother is very protective of her children. The comment was not directed to my children but it was directed at someone's child. A man who is not here to defend himself. When we talk about some one to point out faults we think they have, it is gossip, I think particularly detraction.

This is the post in question

He almost certainly does think these things.

Or else is he is probably quasi ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ.

I am sorry if I misunderstood you, but I just wanted to set the record straight.

Thank you for providing the previous comments (I did read it) and yes, I understand mothers are protective, but mothers often let this nurturing nature blind them. I could have given further context, but to me it was quite evident that all I wanted to share was something written by a saint. With a little bit of thinking it seems to me easy to understand the point I was making, I suppose I assume people think deeper than what happens in reality. In my observations, traditional catholics are always ready for a fight, to defend themselves, and assume that when someone comments on their post, that it is in opposition to them automatically. Not every conversation is a battle, and one does not need to be on edge like that all the time; it's not healthy. It is important to read things for what they are, not what you are looking for or expecting.

I also believe you don't realize that the man who made the quasi ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ remark was not falsely accusing someone else's adult child of anything, he was merely making the point that if a man were to think certain things, he would be a quasi ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ, which is a term to express a certain level of effeminacy. This is not detraction. The man who made the long post was essentially stating that your lack of ability to understand what people (especially men) mean to convey gets you into trouble, because you begin attacking a non existent fault in the other person.