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Author Topic: Chrysostom on finding a wife...  (Read 33813 times)

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Re: Chrysostom on finding a wife...
« Reply #165 on: Yesterday at 12:48:35 PM »
But you can ask for clarification and not make rash judgments or make assumptions.  You can give the poster the benefit of doubt.

It is the charitable thing to do. 

The only reason to assume the worst intention is to cause a scene and humiliate people.  It is done to make someone less credible.  “


You, earlier in this thread:


Well at least i am not a coward.  Since we don't know who you are we don't know your intelligence level.  And I bet there are women smarter than you?” You called a man a coward because he was posting anonymously. You then attempted to cast aspersions upon his intelligence. You did this to cause a scene, put him on the defensive, and make him less credible. Was that charitable or giving him the benefit of the doubt? It was observably not asking for clarification, just a cheap rhetorical attack. If you use rhetoric, know it will be thrown back at you. And you don’t get to complain about it because you chose the ground and method of engagement.

Frankly I just don't care anymore.  If you are offended good, if you are not good.  “

You are back on this thread pivoting, "clarifying," and attempting to retake the moral high ground because you can't stand the thought of not having the last word. This indicates you do care. And it would follow that you're either delusional or posturing to deceive. Furthermore, is it charitable and humble to come back to a thread and say "If you are offended good?" Obviously not.

In fact if you decide it is your job to assume authority over me, I am going to assume that I struck a nerve and planted a good seed.  If I cause another post like the long one above I am going to take it as a compliment.  That post was filled with so many rash adjustments and attacks at my husband and myself it was appalling.  The fact that people joined in with middle school like behavior is laughable.  Being a women is not about being a door mat.”


None of us wants your husband’s job, ie authority over you. If you’re this annoying and domineering on the internet with strangers, men will logically assume your husband is asleep at the wheel or lacking the character to manage the ship. In his conspicuous absence and clear abdication of his role of keeping you firmly in your proper sphere, real men found his authority rotting in the gutter and picked it up, reluctantly and distastefully I might add. It brings me no joy to berate a middle-aged woman on the internet. I’d rather be teaching my 4 year old to read. 



Go ahead do your worst  but the saddest thing is that when people see wrong being done they don't defend they just let it happen.”

"Alas and alack where is my white knight in shining big boy pants who will defend me against all these strange men I chose to continue engaging with on the internet?"

Hint: Lady, it's your husband is supposed to be that knight. Where is he? What happened to him? He's the only man who is covenantally obligated to defend you. In his continued absence we assume he's either still unaware of your continued engagement, or aware but 1) unable to curb your behavior, 2) too conflict averse to engage and defend you, or 3) he agrees with us and has decided not to defend you but just let it happen.



Lucky for me I have a real group of friends that are good Catholics, both male and female, who find it funny that my persona on here is such and constantly encourage me to leave.  Why I don't leave, that is in God's hands?  I came on here by accident and I will leave at some point because I choose to (or I am ordered to by my authorities) or I have broke the rules and Matthew kicks me off.”


Why aren’t you hanging out IRL with those good Catholic friends who are so far superior to the mean, barbaric strangers you’ve chosen to engage with online? They find it funny that your online persona is different from how you are IRL? How so? By funny, do you mean they find it strange? They’re your real friends, and truly Good Catholics, and you’ve chosen to ignore their constant encouragement to leave this forum? But you’d settle for an anonymous internet poll to decide the issue? Logical conclusion: you lack sufficient trust and respect for your friends AND your husband. OOF.


Have you considered God sent your friends to tell you it was a bad idea for you to continue womanposting in male spacesAnd that when you ignored the Good Catholics, God in His unknowable workings, rumbled around in his tool chest and came up with a miserable sinner like me, but with sufficient masculinity and intellect, to hoist you on your own petard? Mysterious ways.


How did you accidentally come on this forum for Trad Catholics? You mashed away at your keyboard, randomly hit the right keys to make an account and then posted over 3600 times in a period of 3 years like the world’s unlikeliest monkey on a type-writer? In the time I’ve lurked here I can’t recall seeing you post any of your own thoughts that were particularly edifying or valuable. But I can recall quite a few threads where you took adversarial stances against men based on how you subjectively feel. And then often you devolve a thread into “What about meeeeeee?” Look how far afield you are from the original purpose of the thread.

If you have made it this far.  I wasn't going to make a response unless the thread was  pushed to the top by someone else.  It was, so I wrote.  Prayers for all.


Thank you for your opinion.


Some people understand what I write, some don't.  I am ok with that.”


We are understanding WHAT you wrote. We are using learned pattern recognition from past experiences and our best judgment to piece together WHY you wrote it. You keep expecting strange men online to immediately and correctly intuit your precise intentions (WHY) from what your are plainly saying (WHAT). Since your observable WHAT is not aligning with your alleged WHY, men are pointing it out and you don’t like it. Stop holding online strangers to a higher standard than you hold yourself.


https://www.cathinfo.com/anonymous-posts-allowed/the-tears-of-a-traditional-catholic-mother/


On pattern recognition: I wasn’t on CathInfo years ago when you wrote the letter in the above linked thread. But guys with halfway-decent pattern recognition and exposure to your posting habits, content, and writing style can easily identify you as the author even before you claimed it as your own.


https://www.cathinfo.com/members-only/luther-in-hell/30/


You are so quick to assign motivations to others like Maria but demand special considerations for yourself.


Quoting you from the Luther Thread:
True, because I was ill equipped when responding the first time.

And I am probably still ill equipped,  but I have a hard time with misunderstandings.
WorldsAway brought up St. Francis Xavier and the Japanese to make the point that we should speak Truth always.  So we should tell a non-believer, who has lost a loved one that they are damned.  Truth hurts, right?  But is that really the prudent thing to do?  If we know the person is lost, then can't we just say we are sorry for their loss?  

The other point I was trying to make is that in the 16th century it was clear where Catholicism was and who was the head.  Is it clear now?  If people start asking questions, we point to old books and we don't point to Rome, is that easy to explain?  If someone goes to the internet to find the Truth, how will they know which group to follow (SSPX, Resistance, CMRI, SSPV, etc). 

This is why Reletivism is such a problem for this day and age.  It is sending so many to hell daily.  Doesn't that break your heart?  It does mine.  But nobody really wants to hear my opinions.  (Sorry just a melancholic moment.)”



Men are not trying to be mean when they point out you are ill-suited to public discourse. We are correctly identifying, through pattern recognition, that you are ill-equipped; you misunderstand, you are overly emotional, you make things about you rather than what is being discussed.


Christianity is difficult. Period. Jesus spoke the Truth while He was HERE ON EARTH and MOST of His disciples abandoned Him at some point! Being truly Christian and living out the Gospel has been and will continue to be difficult. Maybe not “Eaten by wild beasts in the arena” levels of physical persecution, but there has been a steady stream of human beings headed to hell throughout history, not just now. Compartmentalize and move on. Or at the least quit wailing, moaning, and performatively emoting about it in public. Men already know without you covering it again for the umpteenth time.


https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/origin-of-marylike-standards-of-modesty/


Getting into it again with Maria and Tom on the other thread linked above.


And where are these men?  The priests place signs in their chapels, but how many actually address the issue with a woman?  The fathers don't want to push back on the wife and daughters desire to fit in.  So maybe the men need the graces to get into fights with other men to get their women to cover up?

Is that the answer? Should we go around and humiliate people?

Some will say yes and some will say no.  It will work for some and send others to hell. 

Maybe we need to be better equipped to do what needs to be done in the moment and let the Holy Ghost guide us.  Accept to hear the Holy Ghost, we need to conquer self.

Women should cover up and show joy,  so that other women will want what they have.  Men should be extra complimentary to the women who are dressed well and open doors for her, and such  so other women want the attention.  I don't know, these are just random suggestions.”





These men are operating quietly, because drawing attention to how they enforce good behavior in their own homes could bring down legal trouble. What are fathers supposed to do when they attempt to enforce modesty of dress and other behaviors in a family in ιnѕυrrєcтισn? Deliver a stern lecture? And if a wife or daughter persists in her rebellion? Kick them out? Physically discipline them? Ask their priest to refuse them communion until the husband gives the affirmative that his household is back in order? Say hello to accusations of emotional and/or physical abuse, cult participation, etc. Police/CPS visits, arrest, jail time, confiscation of assets, home, and children through divorce court.


Lest you think I’m exaggerating: A buddy of mine discovered his wife was cheating on him. When he attempted to hold her to account she called the cops, accused him of sɛҳuąƖ assault and battery, and tied him up for over a year in the legal system. She tried to ruin his career, take away their daughter, and get him thrown in prison. Through the grace of God, a year of prayer from our whole group of friends, and his own heroic perseverance he eventually won full custody of his daughter, all assets, is supposed to get child support from this vicious bimbo, and even got the family cat. The only thing lacking from this scenario was his ex didn’t go to prison as she deserved. Few men achieve any positive outcome in this scenario, and even fewer win a resounding victory. I’ve encouraged him to write a short book on the experience as a how-to manual for other men facing similar circuмstances.


It’s evident you habitually side with women on the internet. Weighing the probability, you would’ve heard her version of events and sided with her attempt to destroy my friend. This is predictable female solidarity. Men have noticed and are learning to side with other men by default because that’s a terrain feature of the culture war.


Masculine men are needed to get into fights with other men to get their women to curb their poor behavior on the internet too. You advocate for positive reinforcement. There’s a place for that, but the flip side of that is negative consequences for immodesty, poor behavior, heresy, etc. Hence why the Catholic Church had the Inquisition for hundreds of years, and excommunication as a disciplinary and spiritual correction for error. Shame can be an act of charity when exercised medicinally.


Men are the natural enforcers of society, and can see what was allowed historically and model their behavior to match it. And yes, I do check with my priest occasionally to confirm I’m within the confines of the authority delegated to me as a man, husband, and father.


Over the next few years you will increasingly see men take back ground in public spaces, in churches, and within their families. And it will involve force. And you will probably gasp and gibber incoherently about it on the internet. And men will ignore you and carry on as they should.


That might be true, but your manner in delivering the message is off putting.  I know you are not making things up, but as you can see this is a very emotional issue and will take time for people to adjust to.  Pray and be patient.  We, as a society, have fallen so far away from modesty, that it is going to take time to get back on the correct page.

This is only a forum.  We can't tell how others are dressing.  I think all the women here try to dress as modestly as possible, but some of us know that new people are watching and if they see such hostility over the topic they will quit before they even begin.”



Your manner of delivering messages is off putting to both men and women, as can be observed on a number of threads. When I was new to lurking on CathInfo, observing your advocacy for fairness to obvious infiltrators and doctrinal polluters like Boru and Justinian had me wondering if the forum was worth my time. Getting back to the “correct page” will require strong men pushing the window of acceptable behavior over a long, sustained period of time. You standing off the side nagging about the technique we’re using to push is unproductive at best, and some men will interpret it as attempted sabotage.


The things people do for fashion can be so strange.

The immodesty issue probably was one of many reasons why the French Revolution happened.”



You are ignorant of history. And no, I won’t explain enlightenment revolutionary ideals, Fɾҽҽmαsσɳɾყ, etc to you. Go read a book or ask an AI “As a seasoned historian, summarize in bullet points the factors contributing to the French Revolution. Keep things concise and explain in terms suitable for an IQ of 95.” Don’t mention immodesty and don’t coerce the AI into changing it’s answer into something more agreeable to your pre-conceived notion. In fact, feel free to use that style of prompt to summarize things you struggle to understand. If I don’t feel like struggling through dense material above my IQ level, I find AI quite useful in translating and summarizing things to my level. Instant sparknotes.


https://www.cathinfo.com/fighting-errors-in-the-modern-world/is-ballet-immoral/105/


You responding to Anthony going after Justinian on ballet, immodesty of dress, etc
It is not your job to do this.

She is learning like the rest of us 

None of us have a full understanding of the Crisis and none of us know if we have picked the side most pleasing to God.
God will judge us on our charity or lack there of.  Going up to a stranger on a forum and slapping them with words is not charitable.  You can make corrections without making it so personal  I would advise you learn how to do that”



Anthony is a man. It is precisely his job to guard the gates of Traditional Catholicism. Productive Gatekeeping to keep out modernist pretend-Trads who don’t belong. And it is also the responsibility of men to rebuke you when you attempt to play the role of Tarpeia, opening gates and such. I’ll remind you again: you called a man a coward for remaining anonymous. You made that pretty personal. That’s displaying a remarkable inability to adhere to the standards you set for others. With this in mind, do not expect to be taken seriously by anyone as long as you maintain this pattern. You may not remember your inconsistencies from thread to thread, but Pepperidge Farms remembers.


What exercises can they do to keep thin?  The daily chores don't cut it anymore because of the modern machinery available.


Dearest husband, today while you were working our appliances trussed me up in the basement so I couldn’t do the dishes by hand, or wash the clothes by hand, or knead bread dough. I’ve never felt so helpless and incapable of coming up with a way to exercise. Skynet has taken over. Also, while you’re shooting the dishwasher and the printer, please lobotomize my computer with the 12 gauge because I can’t stop womanposting all over the internet.”


Now back to the original thread:
I actually really have no idea which particular thing you want to correct in me.  I am not going to reread the whole thread to figure it out.  So if you will be kind enough to spell it out i would appreciate it.  If you just keep wanting to be vague, i can't stop you.


This is why long posting is useful. Maybe it’s an IQ thing. Maybe it’s a woman thing. Maybe it’s that you post too much and can’t remember what was said in which conversation thread. Regardless, I’m glad you said this, because now you can’t complain that I brought the receipts.


On avoiding Responsibility, I’ll paraphrase you:


I can’t utilize household chores to exercise because I have too many modern appliances.”


Going up to someone on the internet and slapping them with words is not charitable, but I recently called a man a coward for posting anonymously.”


Some people don’t understand me when I write and that’s okay, but I’ll complain when men address WHAT I’m saying without reading my mind regarding WHY I’m saying it.”


I accidentally made an account on CathInfo and then chose to post over 3600 times despite being ‘ill-equipped’ and having ‘a hard time with misunderstandings.’


You evade responsibility for the choices you make. And you’re either too obtuse to recognize it or too proud to admit this fault. It’s not like you ever apologized for calling that man a coward. Clearly it didn’t bother him that much, but those are still fighting words that if you’d said it in person nobody here would have batted an eye if he’d punched your husband in the face.


To bring things back to the original post:
5. God created woman to be a "helper." But what kind of help did He mean? He divided our life into two parts: public and privateTo the man, He gave the business of the marketplace, the courts of justice, the defense of the city, and the labor of the field. To the woman, He gave the management of the household, the nurturing of children, and the creation of a refuge for her husband.
Neither should despise the work of the other. For a man can spend all day in the marketplace, but if he returns to a house that is in disorder and a wife who is contentious, his labor is in vain. And a woman can manage a home perfectly, but if the husband does not provide, the home cannot stand. God made us to need one another, so that through our mutual need, we might be bound together in love.
6. Therefore, when you are choosing a wife, do not ask the matchmakers about her money. Ask instead: "Is she modestDoes she know how to remain at home? Is she a woman of prayer? Does she treat her servants with kindness? Is she disciplined in her speech?" If she has these things, she is richer than any woman with a mountain of gold.


How does your participation on CathInfo contribute to your assigned sphere?
You have demonstrated for everyone here you are not disciplined in your speech. And based on your lack of modesty here, by which I mean in the older sense of the word modesty, ie your lack of propriety and comportment among strange men as it reflects on your husband, we can make other educated guesses regarding whether you ‘know how remain at home’.


You say you’ve gotten rid of your timidity. Interpretation: You’ve gotten comfortable confronting people online. Why do you see it as a positive thing that you’ve become more masculine and less feminine as a result of your online activity? Having to take on more masculine behavior to navigate the internet indicates that on some level you understand you’re operating in a masculine sphere and thus don’t belong there anyway. But you cannot become a man, you cannot force yourself to be suitable for public engagement in the marketplace, in the courts, on the city walls, or in the field. You simply do not have what it takes to participate in the mosh pit of the masculine public sphere.


You might contest this, but just like my daughter who is protesting that she is indeed almost done with her ham and grilled cheese sammich, I can see that she’s only taken 3 bites of one half and the other half is completely untouched. You are visibly engaging in this online behavior. Men can observe the contents of your plate, ie the evidence in your posts that you are manifestly unsuited for the public sphere. Men have told you to stop. Your friends have encouraged you to leave this forum. Are you waiting for an apparition of the Blessed Mother to give you further specifics? What more do you need?


Specific enough for you?

Offline Gray2023

  • Supporter
Re: Chrysostom on finding a wife...
« Reply #166 on: Yesterday at 03:53:31 PM »
I am clarifying my intentions and giving some of my opinions.  Do what you want with them.


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It all depends on the priest.  I have yet to hear my priest say exactly what a wife or a husband should do, from the pulpit.  You know what he does say?  Each and every person is responsible for their own salvation.  I agree with him.  You can't change anyone. All you can do is do what you are suppose to do.  And most people do not have the inside scoop to tell you what that is.  You have to know yourself.  A melancholic person needs to be less scrupulous.  A sanguine person needs to be more prudent.  A choleric person needs to soften a bit.  A phlegmatic needs to take charge more.  You get the idea.”


This is not helpful. It contains nothing that the average young Catholic man struggling in today’s apocalyptic wasteland of a dating market doesn’t already know. There's no practical, applicable, implementable advice to be found. It comes across as emoting at best, and Not-All-Women-Are-Like-That gaslighting at worst. The majority of priests have been out of the dating market for so long that they are unaware of the issues affecting Millennials and GenZ. And since they’ve been relatively insulated from the absolutely insufferable state of modern single women, they’re unaware of how cancerous, feminist attitudes have been absorbed by young Catholic women simply by cultural osmosis.

Young men don’t get the idea. In fact, they’ll immediately dismiss this post for what it is: Excuses. You probably think that because you’re a mom to young men that you know what it’s like to be a young man facing the tough reality of how much things suck right now. It’s not your fault, but you’re not equipped to empathize in this area.


It might not be helpful for you, but it may be helpful for others.  It was an opinion. It is their right to dismiss it.  I have no problem with that.  



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I am very sorry you feel that way.  Most people are more annoying on the internet, than in real life.”


If you’re going to issue an apology, don’t make it a non-apology dodging any accountability on your part. The Boomer-tier advice from your first post, tl;dr “Bootstrap yourself!” is literally a meme amongst young men. It’s like calling down to a man trapped in a muddy pit, “Just scramble up the sides harder!” despite seeing evidence of muddy clawmarks from many previously unsuccessful attempts to get out already. Useless advice IS annoying. It isn’t just that people are more annoying on the internet, it’s that they’ll issue “fightin’ words” that would get them punched in face if said in person. Bad habit.


Calling me annoying was a personal attack.  It did not need to be done.  Everyone gets the trope pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  This was said at  me many times at the beginning of my journey on CathInfo.

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Is a certain group taught this?  It sounds more like R&R style, than others.  I think CMRI falls into this trap, too.  All the priests I know, send me back to my husband.  That is how it should be, the only exception is probably physical abuse.  The harder thing to navigate is emotional abuse on both sides.

Just more of my annoying thoughts.



So what kind of abuse is it when a woman withholds the marital act from her husband? Would that be considered physical abuse or emotional abuse?  Nagging?  Physical or emotional?


Are we just too weak of a society to accept the mortal sins that are directed at us, to turn the other cheek, per se?  Is that what God wants for people to just endure the circuмstances they are in?

How should this be applied to family, society, countries?



These would be great questions to ask your husband, rather than faceless internet strangers. It is after all in his job description to deal with your annoying thoughts and questions. Does he know you spend this much time on the internet asking other men to do his job for him?


The main reason I ask questions in a public space is to see all the different answers.  I do ask my husband these questions as well.  Is it wrong to ask a lot of questions?  In fact I was told to ask more questions, instead of saying my opinions directly.  I did that. Now I am being told to not ask questions.

I will not answer questions about my husband.  You can figure out who he is and ask him yourself.



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Real men know how to practice virtue properly.  Please explain the virtue of rash judgment to me.


Do you even know if the poster has a husband?”


Real women know that provoking men on the internet and demanding explanations on anything and everything isn’t practicing feminine virtue. You clearly aren’t a paragon of virtue like St Joan of Arc, St Catherine of Siena, or St Hildegard. Nobody appointed you St Mommy of the Internet.


I never claimed to be.  Here is the quote from an anonymous person "Real men speak the truth and aren't afraid of a manipulative woman online whose husband clearly gives her too much liberty." that I was replying to.  I have no idea the gender or anything about them.  I wasn't provoking the person.  I was defending myself from a guerrilla remark.


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How do you tell the difference between Holy Anger and rash judgement?  It would be best to not fall into pride and assume you have Holy Anger.”


Dearest husband, I am correcting strange men online again and they are telling me my advice is bad, I’m annoying, and now there’s a question of whether their anger towards me is righteous or rash. Is it possible I’m the problem? Please read this thread for me and see if I’m missing anything. I wouldn’t want to cause men to sin in anger in response to my posts, especially as I can’t control their responses, but I can control what and how much I post.”



I would still like this defined.  I also must note that there is no gender associated with the anonymous poster.  If they are not going to be honest and say their gender. Why am I required to figure it out?

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And cconquering yourself is the answer.

Ai generated

In Catholic tradition, conquering the self—or self-mastery—is
the essential, daily struggle to overcome selfish tendencies, passions, and sin, allowing for greater love of God and neighbor. It involves mortification, prayer, and utilizing the Sacraments to align one's will with God, often described as the "grandest triumph" and the foundation of holiness.
Key Aspects of Self-Conquest in Catholicism

  • Definition: It is the redirection of disordered passions and willful ego toward the service of God and others.
  • Purpose: The goal is to cultivate virtue (specifically temperance and fortitude) to achieve freedom from sin and to grow in charity.
  • Mortification: Fasting and small, daily acts of self-denial are crucial for training the will and subordinating physical appetites to reason.
  • Spiritual Life: Saints like Ignatius of Loyola and Francis Borgia emphasized that true holiness requires overcoming oneself, as prayer alone is not enough.
  • The Role of Grace: While requiring human effort, true self-conquest is ultimately achieved by cooperating with divine grace, particularly through the Eucharist and confession.
Practical Approaches
  • Focus on the "Little Way": Accepting daily annoyances, or "little crosses," strengthens the soul.
  • Targeting Faults: Identifying and working on one's "predominant fault" is more effective than vague self-improvement.
  • Habit Formation: Consistently practicing patience and humility to turn virtuous actions into habits.“


Once again, it isn’t your job to issue any kind of spiritual direction to men, unless you carried them in your womb and your husband isn’t around to perform that function. Your disordered passion is a pathological need to advise or challenge strange men online. When you’re told your advice is useless and annoying, your willful ego keeps trying to get in the last word. Consistently practicing patience and humility to turn virtuous actions into habits sounds like a great idea for you to implement. Cultivate virtue, specifically temperance by exercising restraint when you feel the need to post about men’s issues, correct what men say, or otherwise opine in ignorance. You have posted a whole thread on practicing humility, but are manifestly incapable of internalizing any of it.



I am posting useful information about conquering self that benefits all of us.  If you take it personally, then that is on you.

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Heck it isn’t my job to issue you direction on this platform, but in the absence of your husband or a priest, consider my spiritual authority on loan. My credentials: I’m a married father of two and my wife doesn’t go posting amok on the internet. You’re welcome. I also coach young men in a variety of areas When they ask for it.


I am not sure why you think that you are allowed to loan me your authority.  This is a public space and we are allowed to express our opinions. 



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Taking your own advice regarding self-mastery is a good start: Stop giving into the temptation to correct strange men online. Check your ego that keeps telling you that you know best how to issue spiritual direction to young men struggling to navigate the perfect storm of a job market so bad even veteran software engineers go a year unemployed, unprecedented in-your-face fraud, record high housing costs, rampant inflation, a poisoned food supply, the knowledge that previous generations lied about “go to college, get a job, get married, have two kids, retire, and everything will just be fine, and now the prospect that you’ll face all that crap ALONE. And when they dare discuss how screwed up everything is online you come out of the woodwork gaslighting and virtue signaling when all the average young guy wants is the acknowledgement that “Yeah bro, you’re not crazy it’s really messed up. Here’s a beer and a burger, let’s see if there’s anything we can work on that will make things suck less.”


Enough already.  You have no idea what other people think and then to attack with such a foul idea.  I don't know who you are, but you need to learn not to say everything you think.”

Agreed. People should watch what they say on the internet. And you have no idea what young men think, you don’t know this person, and you need to learn to not say everything you think.


You are correct on this, but all of us need to do that.


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Are you afraid God won't provide a good spouse for you?”

Average man looks at this as an attempted ‘Gotcha’ question. Anonymous answered quite well so I’ll include it below:
*Yes, God has not promised these things, He has only promised salvation to those who correspond with His will/grace. I have great confidence that God will provide me the graces I ask for in-order to save my soul. But I have no guarantee that I am to be married. It's more an issue of impatience. As we get older we tend to become more aware of our own aging, the skin is not as bright and glowly as before, it starts to sag, become dull and lines form. There is also an issue with temptations, is is very hard for young people to deal with sins of the flesh, some more than others. Yet despite St Paul saying it better to marry than to burn (in hell), there is almost no recourse to marriage due to the economy, housing ponzi and feminism. For a person to marry the stars have to align, and perhaps they will do so in the future for me, but for now I must suffer and hope.*
The world young men have inherited is on fire. Being aware of the problem, seeing little evidence that your forebears did anything to put out the flames, and suspecting you'll face all of it alone without the comfort of a wife and children to give your suffering greater meaning is depressing.

Your response below:
I know suffering is hard, but maybe knowing that it is not in vain, will help you persevere in the challenges God gives you.  Prayers for you.

Lately I have been thinking about men's more natural ability toward discipline.  Many men seem to get very focused on ideas and become experts.  I don't know if it is just me, but it seems that women don't possess such laser like focus.  Sometimes I am jealous, (not in an evil way), I just wish that skill set came more naturally to me.”

It was a serious question not a gotcha question.  I am not responsible for you bias.


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You failed to get him with the gotcha and then unload a double-barreled dose of virtuous condescension. But it’s not surprising that a woman who has developed a masculine habit of internet confrontation wishes she could have another masculine trait rather than finding contentment in her natural femininity.


The only masculine trait I want is to be less emotional, but life is what it is.  I have great empathy for men.  Their job is hard and I wouldn't want to be a man.
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It’s genuinely a good thing that you recognize there are differences between male and female patterns of behavior, natural inclinations, etc. I mean that without sarcasm. Men would appreciate it if you would recognize your natural deficiency in relating to the male pattern of thought, how men take advice and motivation, etc and Be Silent. Likewise understand that young men have encountered decades of bad advice and outright emotional abuse from mothers, teachers and now female bosses. Even if you had genuine nuggets of Trad Wisdom, young men aren’t going to listen to you, strange Catholic Karen of the internet.


I would like the same care.  But again this is all happening where we don't even know the gender of most of the people speaking.


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Calling someone's son a quaisi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ is not a truth.You really need to unlearn that behavior. That is a rash judgment.


And if you are going to call it Holy Anger you are probably wrong  because just like humility if you say you have it, then it is guaranteed you don't.”


You are neither a mod, nor this man’s mother so it’s not your place to tone police him. You really need to unlearn that behavior. For better or for worse, something men do is make snap calls when they hear information. As a verified dude under 40, with a fairly large sample size of male acquaintances, here’s some Male Culture Lore: When I, a man with skin in the game, hear of an unmarried 36 year old man via his mom posting online about him giving up on trying and relying on hope alone of finding a wife, I make several snap judgments based on other single 30 year old bachelors I’ve met at Trad chapels. Typically scrawny or doughy, socially awkward, with limp handshakes, poor eye contact, chewing with their mouth open, mouth breathing, essentially the byproducts of poor parenting. Very fixable given the right attention.



I will try.  But let me ask you something. If someone said something to your wife about one of your children that was negative and she came crying to you about it, how would you handle it? Serious question.  


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First, those parents failed to set their son(s) up for success. The dating market 16 years ago was paradise compared to now. Heck in my case the dating market 6-7 years ago was a cakewalk. Second, giving up and going passive is gαy. That’s how guys talk, it’s how we think. We don’t mean he’s an actual sodomite. We mean “That’s pitiable and gross bro. Go make something happen. Stop being gαy,” ie quasi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ, ie removing himself from the gene-pool through inaction. Now, in addition to trying to snap that type of man out of his funk, I usually invite him over for beers and coaching. Hopefully within the next year or so we’ll have built the infrastructure necessary for the “Spiritual Retreat and Men’s Improvement Camp” I envision hosting. Moving on.


I do wish you well on your endeavor to help young men.  :pray::pray::pray:


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Anonymous is on the right track below:
No it's behavior you cant understand.
Because you are a woman and have a limited intelligence.
Proof why women should not really be on the internet at all, or at least with tight control from the men in their lives.


Your response:
Well at least i am not a coward.  Since we don't know who you are we don't know your intelligence level.  And I bet there are women smarter than you?”


Again this is guerilla warfare.  If they make a rash judgement, then I can defend myself.  The person made a remark on my intelligence, so I remarked back.


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Maybe Anon was intending insult and maybe not, but what he said isn’t wrong. You HAVE demonstrated you don’t understand male behavior and communication. The fact that I’m writing out this long explanation is a testament that I hope you have the mental bandwidth to achieve some understanding after receiving more detail. You are a woman, a mom to mostly boys if I recall correctly, and yet you still don’t understand fundamental male behavior and communication despite having a front row seat to the show. White women in the US have an average IQ of 97. The writing pattern we can observe in your posts, what you choose to engage on, and how you struggle to understand concepts patiently explained by men in other long threads, generally indicates you’re probably around that average, which is fine. If you had your IQ tested as a kid in school maybe you know what your IQ is.


But the point is that both sexes do not understand each other.  Again no reason to discuss my intelligence level, except to make people think less of me and more of you.



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Anonymity does not equal cowardice. We’re all sitting behind the relative anonymity of a keyboard. But the fact that you jumped to cowardice, and attacking this probable ZoomerAnon, both his courage and intelligence, and pointing out the obvious that there are women smarter than him is entirely irrelevant. Even if he was a crave, blithering idiot, it wouldn’t change the fact that he's correctly identified that you don’t understand male behavior, despite being married and having sons, you are a woman, and you’ve demonstrated limited intelligence, not to mention high emotionality, and you are fundamentally incapable of communicating effectively with young men, angry or otherwise.

It's frustrating enough for young men to communicate across an IQ gap, but the real pain I hear from younger guys is them explaining the evidence of their own eyes only to be met by the insistence of older Trads that "I'm not like that, my daughter isn't like that, I know a girl at our chapel who isn't like that, so you are wrong and it can't be that bad out there." It's like you declaring the job market is fine, having not applied for a job in 20 years, and certainly not having applied for a job since 2020. You are not qualified to comment on how bad things really are out there for young men, you do not have the authority to correct strange men in a public space, and you engaging in multiple internet arguments with men you don't know is unladylike, unbecoming of a Catholic woman, and embarrassing to your husband. If my wife behaved in this manner I would be mortified.


I know you won't believe it but I do understand.   I agreed with most of this part of the post, until you said I don't have the authority to correct young men, you are right I don't have that authority, but I was giving an opinion.  Nobody has to do anything I say.  If you distort this into "I want authority", then you are not being fair either and misrepresenting me.  And then to make me feel even worse you passively criticize my husband.  I do not have patience with that.


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I guess it is the only way they can release all that pent up aggression (not necessarily a negative comment, men need to fight, argue, battle, rant, etc, sometimes).  I just wish they would go do it in the men's only part.  If they are going to rant at women, they have to expect that we might not agree with maybe their more barbaric ways. It doesn't mean we aren't intelligent. It just means that are feminine ways might prefer a more harmonious approach, but as some of the men seem to constantly say, if you can't handle the way men are, then get off the internet.

It’s not the only way we can release pent up aggression, we do plenty of actual fighting, arguing, battling, and ranting in real life. Masculine energy belongs in the public square. You wishing men would bottle themselves up in the Men’s Only section so you don’t get confronted on your obvious inversion of reality is just that; an inversion of the natural order. If you want things peaceful and polite and feminine, go post in the Knitting Circle. So yes, if you cannot handle public discourse with men, don’t engage. You say "barbaric ways." We say direct, effective, and logical. The only man who has a personal duty to look after your harmony is your husband.


Fine.  But no one is requesting or requiring you to do anything.  You can be direct, effective, and logical because you are a man.  I can seek harmony and joy and goodness, because I am a women.  We can share the space on CathInfo.  Sometimes women might cross a line.  Sometimes men might.  This is a free space for all of us to communicate.

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"Are you using this to justify the statement of calling someone's son a quasi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ?

I agree that men have the right to be angry at a world stacked against them, but if they slip into name calling and rash judgments of others that they don't even know then they taint what might have been just.  Holy Anger does not allow for some one to do whatever they want.  It was not prudent to name call.

And as for the bold part that is an acknowledgement that you make between God and yourself not something you broadcast on the internet."

'Hey! The bleeping building is on fire! Form a bucket line!” “Watch your language young man!” “Lady, if you’re not going to grab a bucket, kindly shut the bleep up while the men handle this.'
It isn’t prudent on your part to take upon yourself the duty of correcting any man in public who is not your son.


And in shared spaces it was polite for men to mind their language.  I will reserve the right to defend those who are not here to defend themselves.  You can take it or leave it.  I will not change on this point.

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Is cathInfo a battlefield? The title doesn't imply that.

Should men fight women the same way they fight men?  No

Women do not react the same because they are not men.

You can't in some posts tell women to be more feminine and then in other posts tell them to man up or get out.

This is my point.


You're a woman so situational awareness is not your strong suit, but seriously lady did you just wander into the culture war and start taking shots without understanding the terrain? You are on a website for Catholic Trads pushing feminist Overton Window narratives when the culture pendulum of men reasserting their masculinity is swinging back at your head. You’ve put on a masculine mantle and gone into combat. Don’t expect men to put down their rhetorical warhammer in favor of a pool noodle before smiting you on the head.


Smite all you want.  At the end of the day they are just words.  But again I will defend myself and I will defend the people who are not here to do it for themselves.
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Can you imagine St Joan of Arc calling a timeout at Orleans? “Pleez Eeeeenglish to use ze wooden sword! Ze steel ees very hurtful.”


:laugh1: Sometimes I have a sense of humor.


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The “Be more feminine option” means ceasing your pattern of correcting men on the internet. In your case either getting off the internet altogether, or having a Husband Captcha where every time you want to run your mouth your husband has to click around on various power tools authenticating that you have his permission to post and he assumes responsibility for your public behavior. If you insist on engaging in combat, a masculine space, then don’t expect special treatment, ie Man Up.

Your actions online display a pattern of behavior that reflects poorly on your husband’s ability to curb your rebellious, feminist instincts. That’s another snap judgment men make when they encounter your combative posts. I’m going to underline that again: Being a contentious Karen on the internet damages your husband’s reputation amongst his peers. Just like how parents are judged for being unable to control their kids’ behavior in a grocery store, men will judge your husband for his apparent lack of control and weakness. And continuing to engage in behavior that reflects poorly on your husband indicates that you do not sufficiently respect him to discipline yourself.

And that brings us full circle. Men are under no obligation to treat you with any respect or deference in public, particularly in light of how you preach virtues of humility, patience, etc that you clearly demonstrate you do not possess. Indeed, it is the charitable responsibility of the male community to point out your errors loudly and repeatedly, and tell you to go to your husband with contrition, have him read your posting history, and submit to him curbing your poor behavior online.



I will not discuss my husband with you.  

The only thing I wonder about is how come you wrote such a long post.  It sounds like you have been watching my post history for a long time, yet you just started CathInfo on September 28, 2025 and your only two posts are to put me in my place.  I will address the other post as well.



Offline Gray2023

  • Supporter
Re: Chrysostom on finding a wife...
« Reply #167 on: Yesterday at 07:47:07 PM »
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But you can ask for clarification and not make rash judgments or make assumptions.  You can give the poster the benefit of doubt.

It is the charitable thing to do.

The only reason to assume the worst intention is to cause a scene and humiliate people.  It is done to make someone less credible.  “


You, earlier in this thread:


Well at least i am not a coward.  Since we don't know who you are we don't know your intelligence level.  And I bet there are women smarter than you?” You called a man a coward because he was posting anonymously. You then attempted to cast aspersions upon his intelligence. You did this to cause a scene, put him on the defensive, and make him less credible. Was that charitable or giving him the benefit of the doubt? It was observably not asking for clarification, just a cheap rhetorical attack. If you use rhetoric, know it will be thrown back at you. And you don’t get to complain about it because you chose the ground and method of engagement.


As I said in the last post I reserve the right to defend myself.  Usually someone has made a personal remark against me because they did not like the general opinion I posted.


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Frankly I just don't care anymore.  If you are offended good, if you are not good.  “

You are back on this thread pivoting, "clarifying," and attempting to retake the moral high ground because you can't stand the thought of not having the last word. This indicates you do care. And it would follow that you're either delusional or posturing to deceive. Furthermore, is it charitable and humble to come back to a thread and say "If you are offended good?" Obviously not.



You got me.  I do care.  I care that people who cannot defend themselves are called names. (i.e. quasi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ and how you talked about my husband.) Being offended means it made you think.  That is what is good about people having discussions and sharing opinions.
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In fact if you decide it is your job to assume authority over me, I am going to assume that I struck a nerve and planted a good seed.  If I cause another post like the long one above I am going to take it as a compliment.  That post was filled with so many rash adjustments and attacks at my husband and myself it was appalling.  The fact that people joined in with middle school like behavior is laughable.  Being a women is not about being a door mat.”


None of us wants your husband’s job, ie authority over you. If you’re this annoying and domineering on the internet with strangers, men will logically assume your husband is asleep at the wheel or lacking the character to manage the ship. In his conspicuous absence and clear abdication of his role of keeping you firmly in your proper sphere, real men found his authority rotting in the gutter and picked it up, reluctantly and distastefully I might add. It brings me no joy to berate a middle-aged woman on the internet. I’d rather be teaching my 4 year old to read.


Good, then don't assume his authority.  You have no right to it.


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Go ahead do your worst  but the saddest thing is that when people see wrong being done they don't defend they just let it happen.”

"Alas and alack where is my white knight in shining big boy pants who will defend me against all these strange men I chose to continue engaging with on the internet?"

Hint: Lady, it's your husband is supposed to be that knight. Where is he? What happened to him? He's the only man who is covenantally obligated to defend you. In his continued absence we assume he's either still unaware of your continued engagement, or aware but 1) unable to curb your behavior, 2) too conflict averse to engage and defend you, or 3) he agrees with us and has decided not to defend you but just let it happen.


Stop the vitriol. My husband is my knight.  Again I am looking at this from a point of defending those who can't defend themselves, which started this whole thread. "Remember the quasi-ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ comment." Think of it this way.  I would rather you guys remark at me, than to have you make remarks at a son who is not present.  I would rather you have a real target, than a windmill.  (No I am not trying to virtue signal, I literally would do anything for anyone.)


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Lucky for me I have a real group of friends that are good Catholics, both male and female, who find it funny that my persona on here is such and constantly encourage me to leave.  Why I don't leave, that is in God's hands?  I came on here by accident and I will leave at some point because I choose to (or I am ordered to by my authorities) or I have broke the rules and Matthew kicks me off.”


Why aren’t you hanging out IRL with those good Catholic friends who are so far superior to the mean, barbaric strangers you’ve chosen to engage with online? They find it funny that your online persona is different from how you are IRL? How so? By funny, do you mean they find it strange? They’re your real friends, and truly Good Catholics, and you’ve chosen to ignore their constant encouragement to leave this forum? But you’d settle for an anonymous internet poll to decide the issue? Logical conclusion: you lack sufficient trust and respect for your friends AND your husband. OOF.


Because logistically that doesn't work.  Most of the friends drive an hour to church and then some.  They are busy with their lives.  I do this in my free time.  Please stop making rash judgements, you know nothing about my personal life.  I am a melancholic by nature and I love having deep discussions.  I can't get my fill with friends.  I consider the men who negatively remark at me "Barbarians", but I have many friends on here as well and would rather be forced off than leave these friends behind.



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Have you considered God sent your friends to tell you it was a bad idea for you to continue womanposting in male spaces? And that when you ignored the Good Catholics, God in His unknowable workings, rumbled around in his tool chest and came up with a miserable sinner like me, but with sufficient masculinity and intellect, to hoist you on your own petard? Mysterious ways.

Is this really a male space?  In 2026?


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How did you accidentally come on this forum for Trad Catholics? You mashed away at your keyboard, randomly hit the right keys to make an account and then posted over 3600 times in a period of 3 years like the world’s unlikeliest monkey on a type-writer? In the time I’ve lurked here I can’t recall seeing you post any of your own thoughts that were particularly edifying or valuable. But I can recall quite a few threads where you took adversarial stances against men based on how you subjectively feel. And then often you devolve a thread into “What about meeeeeee?” Look how far afield you are from the original purpose of the thread.



I wrote a letter.  It accidentally got posted here (my friend did it and she apologized later).  People started tearing apart (that is how it felt to me, now knowing these people better I understand their points better) the person who wrote it.  I joined to defend myself.


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If you have made it this far.  I wasn't going to make a response unless the thread was  pushed to the top by someone else.  It was, so I wrote.  Prayers for all.


Thank you for your opinion.


Some people understand what I write, some don't.  I am ok with that.”


We are understanding WHAT you wrote. We are using learned pattern recognition from past experiences and our best judgment to piece together WHY you wrote it. You keep expecting strange men online to immediately and correctly intuit your precise intentions (WHY) from what your are plainly saying (WHAT). Since your observable WHAT is not aligning with your alleged WHY, men are pointing it out and you don’t like it. Stop holding online strangers to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

Oh. You found it.  I wrote the letter because I don't believe that the men understand how detrimental it is to the women to lose their community over and over because the opinion on the Crisis keeps changing and people keep choosing different sides and women have to recreate their network all over again.  Women make friends and need these friends to survive yet the men want us to all go to our own corners.  It is hard.  The men don't want to hear us.  But some of the women have to pick up the pieces and explain to their children why they can't have their friends anymore. They have to tell their daughters which type of Catholic she can marry. I have seen overly controlling husbands lose their families.  I have seen women make very bad choices and break up their families. I have seen countless children lose the Faith. I have been watching on the sideline for 20+ years.  


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https://www.cathinfo.com/anonymous-posts-allowed/the-tears-of-a-traditional-catholic-mother/


On pattern recognition: I wasn’t on CathInfo years ago when you wrote the letter in the above linked thread. But guys with halfway-decent pattern recognition and exposure to your posting habits, content, and writing style can easily identify you as the author even before you claimed it as your own.


https://www.cathinfo.com/members-only/luther-in-hell/30/


You are so quick to assign motivations to others like Maria but demand special considerations for yourself.

Who cast the first stone?  I am sorry. I am not going to just be hit with a bunch of stones.  I do not demand special consideration.  But here is the thing that really upsets me.  You expect me to cater to your manhood.  You expect me to act like a man in a man space.  But I expect the same consideration from you to recognize that I am a woman and that I will speak as a women and that I will not change that.  Ignore me if you have to keep your peace, but do not expect me to chuck my emotions and become a man.


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Quoting you from the Luther Thread:
True, because I was ill equipped when responding the first time.

And I am probably still ill equipped,  but I have a hard time with misunderstandings.
WorldsAway brought up St. Francis Xavier and the Japanese to make the point that we should speak Truth always.  So we should tell a non-believer, who has lost a loved one that they are damned.  Truth hurts, right?  But is that really the prudent thing to do?  If we know the person is lost, then can't we just say we are sorry for their loss? 

The other point I was trying to make is that in the 16th century it was clear where Catholicism was and who was the head.  Is it clear now?  If people start asking questions, we point to old books and we don't point to Rome, is that easy to explain?  If someone goes to the internet to find the Truth, how will they know which group to follow (SSPX, Resistance, CMRI, SSPV, etc).

This is why Reletivism is such a problem for this day and age.  It is sending so many to hell daily.  Doesn't that break your heart?  It does mine.  But nobody really wants to hear my opinions.  (Sorry just a melancholic moment.)”



Men are not trying to be mean when they point out you are ill-suited to public discourse. We are correctly identifying, through pattern recognition, that you are ill-equipped; you misunderstand, you are overly emotional, you make things about you rather than what is being discussed.

I see it as this. Men speak in ideologies.  Women speak in practical application to individual people.  That is why not just me but a lot of women make it personal by using our real lives as examples to understand concepts better.

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Christianity is difficult. Period. Jesus spoke the Truth while He was HERE ON EARTH and MOST of His disciples abandoned Him at some point! Being truly Christian and living out the Gospel has been and will continue to be difficult. Maybe not “Eaten by wild beasts in the arena” levels of physical persecution, but there has been a steady stream of human beings headed to hell throughout history, not just now. Compartmentalize and move on. Or at the least quit wailing, moaning, and performatively emoting about it in public. Men already know without you covering it again for the umpteenth time.

I will keep covering the subject until you understand.  The societal and mental stress and strain on society is just as bad for the women as it is for the men, but it looks different.  If you can't see it, then pray about it and reread some of my posts with a gentle tone instead of the Karen one that has been assigned to me.


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https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/origin-of-marylike-standards-of-modesty/


Getting into it again with Maria and Tom on the other thread linked above.


And where are these men?  The priests place signs in their chapels, but how many actually address the issue with a woman?  The fathers don't want to push back on the wife and daughters desire to fit in.  So maybe the men need the graces to get into fights with other men to get their women to cover up?

Is that the answer? Should we go around and humiliate people?

Some will say yes and some will say no.  It will work for some and send others to hell.

Maybe we need to be better equipped to do what needs to be done in the moment and let the Holy Ghost guide us.  Accept to hear the Holy Ghost, we need to conquer self.

Women should cover up and show joy,  so that other women will want what they have.  Men should be extra complimentary to the women who are dressed well and open doors for her, and such  so other women want the attention.  I don't know, these are just random suggestions.”





These men are operating quietly, because drawing attention to how they enforce good behavior in their own homes could bring down legal trouble. What are fathers supposed to do when they attempt to enforce modesty of dress and other behaviors in a family in ιnѕυrrєcтισn? Deliver a stern lecture? And if a wife or daughter persists in her rebellion? Kick them out? Physically discipline them? Ask their priest to refuse them communion until the husband gives the affirmative that his household is back in order? Say hello to accusations of emotional and/or physical abuse, cult participation, etc. Police/CPS visits, arrest, jail time, confiscation of assets, home, and children through divorce court.


Lest you think I’m exaggerating: A buddy of mine discovered his wife was cheating on him. When he attempted to hold her to account she called the cops, accused him of sɛҳuąƖ assault and battery, and tied him up for over a year in the legal system. She tried to ruin his career, take away their daughter, and get him thrown in prison. Through the grace of God, a year of prayer from our whole group of friends, and his own heroic perseverance he eventually won full custody of his daughter, all assets, is supposed to get child support from this vicious bimbo, and even got the family cat. The only thing lacking from this scenario was his ex didn’t go to prison as she deserved. Few men achieve any positive outcome in this scenario, and even fewer win a resounding victory. I’ve encouraged him to write a short book on the experience as a how-to manual for other men facing similar circuмstances.


It’s evident you habitually side with women on the internet. Weighing the probability, you would’ve heard her version of events and sided with her attempt to destroy my friend. This is predictable female solidarity. Men have noticed and are learning to side with other men by default because that’s a terrain feature of the culture war.


Masculine men are needed to get into fights with other men to get their women to curb their poor behavior on the internet too. You advocate for positive reinforcement. There’s a place for that, but the flip side of that is negative consequences for immodesty, poor behavior, heresy, etc. Hence why the Catholic Church had the Inquisition for hundreds of years, and excommunication as a disciplinary and spiritual correction for error. Shame can be an act of charity when exercised medicinally.


Men are the natural enforcers of society, and can see what was allowed historically and model their behavior to match it. And yes, I do check with my priest occasionally to confirm I’m within the confines of the authority delegated to me as a man, husband, and father.


Over the next few years you will increasingly see men take back ground in public spaces, in churches, and within their families. And it will involve force. And you will probably gasp and gibber incoherently about it on the internet. And men will ignore you and carry on as they should.

First of all I do know you are not exaggerating. I have seen lots of awful situations also.

I do understand that men need to take back public spaces, but I am tired of hearing the talk and no action.  Women should have punishments for crimes against their children and mocking the marriage contract.  I have been deceived by two women in the last two years because I am a sympathetic listener.  They have broken up their families and it is awful.  The funny thing is that both the husbands and wives still consider me their friend, but we have all gone our separate ways, because those marriages did not fight to be Catholic first and became worldly.  Living a sinful life starts with the abandoning of the Sacraments.  So please, know that I do understand.  It is very hard for women to lose friends.



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That might be true, but your manner in delivering the message is off putting.  I know you are not making things up, but as you can see this is a very emotional issue and will take time for people to adjust to.  Pray and be patient.  We, as a society, have fallen so far away from modesty, that it is going to take time to get back on the correct page.

This is only a forum.  We can't tell how others are dressing.  I think all the women here try to dress as modestly as possible, but some of us know that new people are watching and if they see such hostility over the topic they will quit before they even begin.”



Your manner of delivering messages is off putting to both men and women, as can be observed on a number of threads. When I was new to lurking on CathInfo, observing your advocacy for fairness to obvious infiltrators and doctrinal polluters like Boru and Justinian had me wondering if the forum was worth my time. Getting back to the “correct page” will require strong men pushing the window of acceptable behavior over a long, sustained period of time. You standing off the side nagging about the technique we’re using to push is unproductive at best, and some men will interpret it as attempted sabotage.

I try to look at both sides.  They were new.  I don't just automatically assume the worst in people no matter how much I agree or disagree with them.

You can ignore the women to make your point, but you need us to agree with you.  We will be the ones that you will be asking to enforce it in the families at home while the men are on the battlefield (temporal and spiritual).  




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The things people do for fashion can be so strange.

The immodesty issue probably was one of many reasons why the French Revolution happened.”



You are ignorant of history. And no, I won’t explain enlightenment revolutionary ideals, Fɾҽҽmαsσɳɾყ, etc to you. Go read a book or ask an AI “As a seasoned historian, summarize in bullet points the factors contributing to the French Revolution. Keep things concise and explain in terms suitable for an IQ of 95.” Don’t mention immodesty and don’t coerce the AI into changing it’s answer into something more agreeable to your pre-conceived notion. In fact, feel free to use that style of prompt to summarize things you struggle to understand. If I don’t feel like struggling through dense material above my IQ level, I find AI quite useful in translating and summarizing things to my level. Instant sparknotes.



I am not speaking about the political reasons for the French Revolution, but about how God may have partially used it as a punishment against immodesty.  I am a women and I look at the world from a totally different direction.



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https://www.cathinfo.com/fighting-errors-in-the-modern-world/is-ballet-immoral/105/


You responding to Anthony going after Justinian on ballet, immodesty of dress, etc
It is not your job to do this.

She is learning like the rest of us

None of us have a full understanding of the Crisis and none of us know if we have picked the side most pleasing to God.
God will judge us on our charity or lack there of.  Going up to a stranger on a forum and slapping them with words is not charitable.  You can make corrections without making it so personal  I would advise you learn how to do that”



Anthony is a man. It is precisely his job to guard the gates of Traditional Catholicism. Productive Gatekeeping to keep out modernist pretend-Trads who don’t belong. And it is also the responsibility of men to rebuke you when you attempt to play the role of Tarpeia, opening gates and such. I’ll remind you again: you called a man a coward for remaining anonymous. You made that pretty personal. That’s displaying a remarkable inability to adhere to the standards you set for others. With this in mind, do not expect to be taken seriously by anyone as long as you maintain this pattern. You may not remember your inconsistencies from thread to thread, but Pepperidge Farms remembers.

I called a anonymous poster a coward after I was called many other things.  I feel like you are saying it is good for the men to name call, but bad for the women.  I do not like double standards.   



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What exercises can they do to keep thin?  The daily chores don't cut it anymore because of the modern machinery available.


Dearest husband, today while you were working our appliances trussed me up in the basement so I couldn’t do the dishes by hand, or wash the clothes by hand, or knead bread dough. I’ve never felt so helpless and incapable of coming up with a way to exercise. Skynet has taken over. Also, while you’re shooting the dishwasher and the printer, please lobotomize my computer with the 12 gauge because I can’t stop womanposting all over the internet.”

Again just asking the questions others might be afraid to ask.  I don't blame them (just look at your response.)

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Now back to the original thread:
I actually really have no idea which particular thing you want to correct in me.  I am not going to reread the whole thread to figure it out.  So if you will be kind enough to spell it out i would appreciate it.  If you just keep wanting to be vague, i can't stop you.


This is why long posting is useful. Maybe it’s an IQ thing. Maybe it’s a woman thing. Maybe it’s that you post too much and can’t remember what was said in which conversation thread. Regardless, I’m glad you said this, because now you can’t complain that I brought the receipts.


On avoiding Responsibility, I’ll paraphrase you:


I can’t utilize household chores to exercise because I have too many modern appliances.”


Going up to someone on the internet and slapping them with words is not charitable, but I recently called a man a coward for posting anonymously.”


Some people don’t understand me when I write and that’s okay, but I’ll complain when men address WHAT I’m saying without reading my mind regarding WHY I’m saying it.”


I accidentally made an account on CathInfo and then chose to post over 3600 times despite being ‘ill-equipped’ and having ‘a hard time with misunderstandings.’


You evade responsibility for the choices you make. And you’re either too obtuse to recognize it or too proud to admit this fault. It’s not like you ever apologized for calling that man a coward. Clearly it didn’t bother him that much, but those are still fighting words that if you’d said it in person nobody here would have batted an eye if he’d punched your husband in the face.



To bring things back to the original post:
5. God created woman to be a "helper." But what kind of help did He mean? He divided our life into two parts: public and private. To the man, He gave the business of the marketplace, the courts of justice, the defense of the city, and the labor of the field. To the woman, He gave the management of the household, the nurturing of children, and the creation of a refuge for her husband.
Neither should despise the work of the other. For a man can spend all day in the marketplace, but if he returns to a house that is in disorder and a wife who is contentious, his labor is in vain. And a woman can manage a home perfectly, but if the husband does not provide, the home cannot stand. God made us to need one another, so that through our mutual need, we might be bound together in love.
6. Therefore, when you are choosing a wife, do not ask the matchmakers about her money. Ask instead: "Is she modest? Does she know how to remain at home? Is she a woman of prayer? Does she treat her servants with kindness? Is she disciplined in her speech?" If she has these things, she is richer than any woman with a mountain of gold.


How does your participation on CathInfo contribute to your assigned sphere?
You have demonstrated for everyone here you are not disciplined in your speech. And based on your lack of modesty here, by which I mean in the older sense of the word modesty, ie your lack of propriety and comportment among strange men as it reflects on your husband, we can make other educated guesses regarding whether you ‘know how remain at home’.


You say you’ve gotten rid of your timidity. Interpretation: You’ve gotten comfortable confronting people online. Why do you see it as a positive thing that you’ve become more masculine and less feminine as a result of your online activity? Having to take on more masculine behavior to navigate the internet indicates that on some level you understand you’re operating in a masculine sphere and thus don’t belong there anyway. But you cannot become a man, you cannot force yourself to be suitable for public engagement in the marketplace, in the courts, on the city walls, or in the field. You simply do not have what it takes to participate in the mosh pit of the masculine public sphere.


You might contest this, but just like my daughter who is protesting that she is indeed almost done with her ham and grilled cheese sammich, I can see that she’s only taken 3 bites of one half and the other half is completely untouched. You are visibly engaging in this online behavior. Men can observe the contents of your plate, ie the evidence in your posts that you are manifestly unsuited for the public sphere. Men have told you to stop. Your friends have encouraged you to leave this forum. Are you waiting for an apparition of the Blessed Mother to give you further specifics? What more do you need?


Specific enough for you?

I do admit it was very generous of you spending so much time on this.  I don't agree with your perspective. Maybe my comments helped you see it from my point of view just a little. Remember these are just words on a screen by people across many countries.  It is not real life.  It is just people discussing how they see the world.


Maybe 5 men and 2 women on here have told me to stop.  My friends tell me to stop because they do not understand why I would still talk to people who are constantly trying to pick fights, who are obstinate in their own opinion, and project their own emotions on to it.  We all do this.

I really mean prayers for all.  I am really sorry to the person I called a coward.  I will not use that word anymore.  I don't plan to leave though.  I am sorry if you are unhappy about that.