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Author Topic: Choosing Godparents  (Read 451 times)

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Anonymous

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Choosing Godparents
« on: April 10, 2019, 10:30:50 PM »
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  • Very hard to do when you don't have (m)any friends, your chapel is super tiny, one/both spouse's family is remote and/or estranged, or one/both spouse's family is non-Catholic or novus ordo. It's even harder when multiple of these things are true.

    Then there's the question of what godparents must do. One rather scrupulous individual basically thinks she has to be literally ready to take the child in today and raise him (materially and spiritually) Catholic, or else she can't accept to be godmother for anyone, even serious Catholics. Similarly, some believe that God will judge them as strictly as He will judge the parent, despite the fact that the parent obviously has much more latitude and opportunity to build up or destroy the child spiritually. A godparent, even in the best of cases, has minimal input on the child's life, how he will be disciplined and raised, etc. How many hours per month does the average godparent get with his godchild?

    My thought is that if being a godparent were that serious of a burden, with no merit or upside for offering the service to our fellow Catholics, then no one would be godparent. Everyone would refuse. Why would you want all the burden of a parent, without all the benefits (too many to list here) of having a child of your own?

    Then there's the question of how close you should be to your godparent. Some prefer family, others won't or can't go with family, and so they choose friends or fellow parishioners instead. (I know a novus ordo woman who chose a sodomite freemason for the godfather of one of her children. The child, now grown, is no longer Catholic.) But those parishioners often move away. They might leave the chapel, the whole group, or even the Catholic Faith. Young men and women are very unstable, and particularly vulnerable to this tendency. It's like navigating a mine field.

    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #1 on: April 11, 2019, 12:40:51 AM »
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  • Do you have the problem of finding a godparent for your child?


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    My thought is that if being a godparent were that serious of a burden, with no merit or upside for offering the service to our fellow Catholics, then no one would be godparent. Everyone would refuse. Why would you want all the burden of a parent, without all the benefits (too many to list here) of having a child of your own?
    I have never heard anyone express such thoughts. Why would you think  such a privilege to be a burden? And why would you expect to get "benefits" from having a godchild? And why would see having a godchild as a sort o substitute (as you have expressed) of "having a child of your own". Do you not know that every child (whether your own or someone else's) is a gift from God? 


    Anonymous

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #2 on: April 11, 2019, 06:49:26 AM »
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  • All 3 of the OP's scenarios are true in our case.  It gets trickier to find good godparents every time we have a child.  However, I've learned that God ALWAYS provides, and so I've stopped stressing out about it so much.  Pray about it certainly!  

    Offline mcollier

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #3 on: April 11, 2019, 12:43:18 PM »
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  • My wife and I ran into the same scenario a couple of months ago. I will pray for the OP that he will find suitable godparents. 

    It would be helpful for someone with more experience and wisdom re: this subject to offer some guidance on this. God willing my wife and I will be faced with this decision many more times in the future. I realize more and more how important it is to be prepared in advance (if possible) with suitable options. 

    Anonymous

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #4 on: April 11, 2019, 10:28:14 PM »
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  • It feels as though the demand for godparents is somewhat larger than the supply of those willing and able to be godparents.

    Whether it's true or not, the perceived merit, honor, and benefit of being a godparent is currently outweighed by many trad Catholics by an over-scrupulous consideration of the responsibilities of a godparent. Ideally these two would balance out, like supply and demand in a capitalist society. Prices rise or fall until supply and demand are about equal.


    Offline Pax Vobis

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #5 on: April 15, 2019, 09:56:47 AM »
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  • This is an abuse of the anonymous forum.

    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #6 on: April 15, 2019, 01:17:00 PM »
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  • I guess in the past I've had the opposite problem, people asking me to be godmother in situations where I had to decline.  Non-Catholic parents, a woman who was having her baby baptized to continue living rent-free with her shack-up baby daddy in a home owned by her parents.  The old folks lived out of state and were unaware he was living there!  In another situation, a Catholic relative in an non-Catholic marriage to a Muslim man wanted me to be godmother to please her parents, my aunt and uncle.  The uncle happened to be MY godfather.  It was already determined to raise the baby boy Muslim to please HIS parents in Indonesia.  Another cousin I turned down because there was zero chance of the child being raised in any religion.  Again, to keep the grandparents and great grandparents happy.  I had to turn down my one sibling for three babies because my brother and his wife live as if God doesn't exist.  My brother made the specific stipulation that I was NOT to teach him anything about the Church or "religious stuff," IOW, he wanted me to conspire with them against Christ to keep OUR parents satisfied!  So, I'm nobody's godmother.  The babies are all young adults now, leading irreligious a few, outright wicked lives.  
    I've had traditional Catholics tell me I should have consented and it's probably my fault they live as they do!  There's no common sense.  Since when does committing sacrilege, or assisting another to do so result in graces?

    Anonymous

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #7 on: April 15, 2019, 01:26:16 PM »
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  • This is an abuse of the anonymous forum.
    No it's not. It's about a personal matter. What are you the self appointed police of the anon forum?


    Offline Maria Regina

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #8 on: April 15, 2019, 01:29:57 PM »
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  • I guess in the past I've had the opposite problem, people asking me to be godmother in situations where I had to decline.  Non-Catholic parents, a woman who was having her baby baptized to continue living rent-free with her shack-up baby daddy in a home owned by her parents.  The old folks lived out of state and were unaware he was living there!  In another situation, a Catholic relative in an non-Catholic marriage to a Muslim man wanted me to be godmother to please her parents, my aunt and uncle.  The uncle happened to be MY godfather.  It was already determined to raise the baby boy Muslim to please HIS parents in Indonesia.  Another cousin I turned down because there was zero chance of the child being raised in any religion.  Again, to keep the grandparents and great grandparents happy.  I had to turn down my one sibling for three babies because my brother and his wife live as if God doesn't exist.  My brother made the specific stipulation that I was NOT to teach him anything about the Church or "religious stuff," IOW, he wanted me to conspire with them against Christ to keep OUR parents satisfied!  So, I'm nobody's godmother.  The babies are all young adults now, leading irreligious a few, outright wicked lives.  
    I've had traditional Catholics tell me I should have consented and it's probably my fault they live as they do!  There's no common sense.  Since when does committing sacrilege, or assisting another to do so result in graces?
    You chose correctly. We must choose to do the will of God, not that of our apostate relatives.
    Lord have mercy.

    Anonymous

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #9 on: April 15, 2019, 06:36:00 PM »
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  • I am reminded of a strange twist of fate many years ago when my sister declined to ask me to be a godparent to her child.  She is the godparent of all three of my kids.  Anyway her explanation was that my lifestyle really didn't represent good Catholic values (I was annulled). Ok, I accepted that.  She chose her brother in law.  Fast forward 15 years--he's a homosexual openly "married" to a man living in Hawaii.  BTW, he still practices the "Catholic" faith.  LOL.   ::)

    Anonymous

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    Re: Choosing Godparents
    « Reply #10 on: April 15, 2019, 11:20:24 PM »
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  • I spoke to the godmother of my grown child for the first time in several years a few days ago.  She has given up Catholicism all together due to the pedo crisis and the bishop's and pope's refusal to really do anything serious about it.  


     

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