Author Topic: Children fighting (Read 823 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** July 26, 2013, 09:29:18 AM »

The Catholic perspective is pretty clear that boys should not be engaged in fighting. Certainly that is what I was taught.

It didn't stop me of course. I got a black eye at 11 by taking on a bigger boy.

At 17 I bloodied a kid's nose who insulted my sister.

At 18 I hit a fellow in class hard enough that the blood was streaming on the floor into quite a puddle.

I received a lot of applause, and almost no punishment, for the last one.

I was lucky, because doing that was very foolish.

If I tried something like that today the injury inflicted might be very severe indeed, and I'd probably end in jail or prison.

I don't think boys need to fight. Sure, play fighting, wrestling, etc, that younger children engage in is one thing. Serious combat? No, not Catholic, Catholics are to engage in self-defense within fairly strict limits, not tempt people to anger, they are to restrain their tempers, etc.

ggreg · « **Reply #1 on:** July 26, 2013, 09:47:36 AM »

Get it out of your system while you are still young, that is what I think.

Healthy boys usually want to fight. Some of my best friends at school were people I had a punch up with. Nothing like a good punch up at 11 or 12 before you've learned to express your emotions and anxieties.

It does not mean you hate the person. I'd far rather a good honest punch in the face than constant bitching and moaning and back-biting and when the dust settles and the pecking order is establish at least some respect has been earned by both parties.

Young boys cannot do much damage with their fists, they simply don't have the weight behind them.

By the way, how do you think they picked Catholic knights for the crusades? You think studious peace-loving types just had a few sword fighting lessons with wooden swords and went off to chop some saracen's head off.

Imagine the balls and experience you need to go into battle at close quarters. Clearly, the crusades were made up of men who had experience in fist fighting at least and felt they had a decent chance of killing a few saracens before they were killed themselves.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #2 on:** July 26, 2013, 09:57:42 AM »

Years after the fistfight I had at 11 the boy I'd fought with still intensely disliked me, even though he'd won, and even though we had been good friends before.

If fist-fights are sinful then they can't be considered good or helpful things.

That really is the essential thing. Attempting to bruise or bloody someone else over taunts cannot be without sin, objectively speaking. Turning the other cheek has to mean something.

If I received praise for hitting the fellow I did it was because he was out of control and the teachers did not properly discipline him. Fortunately his father was a marine and so his family took no action. My bad example triggered a rash of fist fights at the school.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** July 26, 2013, 10:05:16 AM »

Another serious problem is when fights are between different races.

I know of a man my age who was pulled out of school in junior high because he took revenge against a negro who had been tormenting him.

Learning to "stick up for yourself" sounds speciously good until a boy runs into a gang of vicious little thugs and then finds himself blamed for retaliating as a member of a "privileged" race.

ggreg · « **Reply #4 on:** July 26, 2013, 10:30:18 AM »

That is why you kick their arse at 11 or 12 and don't wait until 15 or 16, ideally.

People won't bully you if you have beaten someone up or even just given a good showing in a fight and it is generally known that you'll stick up for yourself.

Bullies go for the weak and easy marks.

Besides, if you're smart, you get them after school when there are no witnesses and deny everything. Follow them home and jump them in an alley.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #5 on:** July 26, 2013, 04:11:50 PM »

Catholics aren't supposed to commit sins like getting into fights and "denying everything" - lying, etc.

I would have thought this would be obvious to Catholics.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** July 26, 2013, 10:56:01 PM »

Quote from: Guest

The Catholic perspective is pretty clear that boys should not be engaged in fighting. Certainly that is what I was taught.

It didn't stop me of course. I got a black eye at 11 by taking on a bigger boy.

At 17 I bloodied a kid's nose who insulted my sister.

At 18 I hit a fellow in class hard enough that the blood was streaming on the floor into quite a puddle.

I received a lot of applause, and almost no punishment, for the last one.

I was lucky, because doing that was very foolish.

If I tried something like that today the injury inflicted might be very severe indeed, and I'd probably end in jail or prison.

I don't think boys need to fight. Sure, play fighting, wrestling, etc, that younger children engage in is one thing. Serious combat? No, not Catholic, Catholics are to engage in self-defense within fairly strict limits, not tempt people to anger, they are to restrain their tempers, etc.

Some of these might be good material to mention in confession

Frances · « **Reply #7 on:** July 27, 2013, 12:41:08 AM »

In third grade, 1969, I smashed two boys' heads with a metal lunch box because they repeatedly put their hands where they didn't belong, and the teacher didn't defend me. I didn't plan it, I just reacted. I got a paddling from the principal (male), who didn't believe me. The teacher denied I'd complained. She was in her first year teaching and had no control over the class. I was also suspended three days in school and had to write the boys apology notes. I did it, but once the suspension was over, I found one boy transferred to another class and my seat moved. Word got out and nobody bothered me again. Nowadays, there'd be a lawsuit and I'd be in counseling. I've never confessed it because I'm not sorry. They got what was deserved. Not feminine? Maybe not, but the problem was solved. No permanent damage was done.

Author Topic: Children fighting (Read 823 times)

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