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Author Topic: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?  (Read 1350 times)

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Änσnymσus

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  • I saw the recent thread on here about finding a wife and thought I'd ask for advice as well. 

    I'm a young man and a convert to the Faith. I'm unable to drive due to very poor eyesight and have issues with stress due to cruelty from my family over my conversion.(they aren't noticeable as I take a medication which is very helpfrul for stress) 
     
    I'm nearly done with university and will either attend law school or work as a paralegal after graduation(law school would net me a higher income if I can get a JD but that also involves a lot of debt)

    I've tried CatholicMatch but have pretty much given up on that. (I'd send messages to different types of people on there who at minimum accept the teachings of the Church- people who attend the Latin Mass and even Novus Ordo types- I broadly agree with the position of the Resistance but have no Resistance chapel in my area) At times I've gone to the FSSP but there are very few single women at the parish where I live(I don't endorse the Fraternity's pluralism but as I said, no other TLM where I am) When it comes to CatholicMatch, most girls simply don't respond to messages, and the ones that do don't want to talk to me for a number of reasons

    1. Most of the women my age say they aren't interested in someone who can't drive/is legally blind
    2. Older women who say I'm too young for them (Im in  my mid 20s but due to lack of responses I've reached out to women who are older, even women in their late 30s) 


    As I said, I'm a convert to the Faith ( my family is of a cultural background where arranged marriages are common and my parents constantly  tell me that I need to leave the Faith and return to the false religion I was brought up in if I want to get married. I have considered religious life seriously but that doesn't seem to be an option due to my eyesight and stress issue. 

    I've gone one a single date with one Trad girl (who I met on CatholicMatch) who ended up telling me that she didn't want a second date because "while we share very similar political and religious views, we don't have a lot in common"(her words) 

    I'm not in a rush to get married but this is disheartening. Am I stuck between staying single forever or marrying a non-Catholic? I'd appreciate any advice or thoughts. Part of me wonders if I should attend law school to make a higher income so I can have a better chance at marriage, but a priest i trust told me not to go for gold diggers and girls who are mainly concerned with money.

    Please say some prayers for me.

    Offline Giovanni Berto

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #1 on: January 07, 2026, 10:09:36 PM »
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  • Stress is everywhere these days. It seems to me that the only real serious problem you have is poor eyesight. Is it a degenerative thing? Will it get worse as you age? Even if you go completely blind, I don't think that it would prevent you from raising a family. It seems to me that your situation is no worse than every other Trad young man. 

    If you end up making good money, it will be easier to deal with the eyesight problem and also with the no driving issue. I mean, not necessarily gold diggers, but if women see that you are able to support a family and to spend money to lessen the burden of your (relatively small) issues, and have the virtues, they will be attracted to you as a potential husband.

    Plus, slightly older men will usually be more attractive to young women. In your 20s you better study and get the money flowing.

    Just my opinion.


    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #2 on: January 07, 2026, 10:11:22 PM »
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  • I'm not sure how to sugar coat this, and surely others will disagree, but I don't see the point of risking having children who inherit your blindness to a greater or lesser extent. That would make life harder on them and the whole family. Remaining single may help you to serve the Traditional Catholic community all the more with your lawyer skills.

    I always try to remember the CathInfo members in my prayers and at Mass, especially those who have asked for prayers.

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #3 on: January 07, 2026, 10:38:24 PM »
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  • Op it depends on a few things, ia your eyesight expected ti get worse? Is it inheritable? 

    If it's inheritable it can be an issue for many people, if it gets worse that can effect your work and ability to provide. Also from your background, if you a non-white it will be harder to find a white women as most won't race mix despite the jews best efforts with their propaganda.

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #4 on: January 07, 2026, 10:45:36 PM »
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  • Stress is everywhere these days. It seems to me that the only real serious problem you have is poor eyesight. Is it a degenerative thing? Will it get worse as you age? Even if you go completely blind, I don't think that it would prevent you from raising a family. It seems to me that your situation is no worse than every other Trad young man.

    If you end up making good money, it will be easier to deal with the eyesight problem and also with the no driving issue. I mean, not necessarily gold diggers, but if women see that you are able to support a family and to spend money to lessen the burden of your (relatively small) issues, and have the virtues, they will be attracted to you as a potential husband.

    Plus, slightly older men will usually be more attractive to young women. In your 20s you better study and get the money flowing.

    Just my opinion.
    My eyesight will not get worse and the viusal impairment I have was due to premature birth. It's not inheritable 


    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #5 on: January 07, 2026, 10:53:15 PM »
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  • I'm not sure how to sugar coat this, and surely others will disagree, but I don't see the point of risking having children who inherit your blindness to a greater or lesser extent. That would make life harder on them and the whole family. Remaining single may help you to serve the Traditional Catholic community all the more with your lawyer skills.

    I always try to remember the CathInfo members in my prayers and at Mass, especially those who have asked for prayers.
    My visual issue is not inheritable so I don't get your point here 

     

    Online LakeEnjoyer

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #6 on: Yesterday at 05:56:49 AM »
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  • First and foremost, don't marry a non-Catholic.

    My advice is to try, as much as possible within the constraints of your condition, is to try and network as much as you can. Most people traditionally met within social circles, either friendship or familial. Yes there are options online nowadays but I'm sure as you've seen it can be rather difficult. Do you have trad friends? There are quite a few "mover and shaker" types who know a lot of people and can get you to invited to places to meet and make friends with other trads as well as women. Even if you find a way (friend driving, public transport etc) to meet new people (men and women) only a few times a year, you're going to have a lot more success than being locked into the same place.

    It sounds very basic, but even just this can do a lot of help as well as also being able to generally meet more people which I think would also be helpful given your stated family circuмstances.

    Offline Everlast22

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #7 on: Yesterday at 06:06:20 AM »
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  • It's probably better to not get married based on the information you gave.

    My opinion. 

    You sound like a great guy, but temporally speaking, it's probably not a great idea. Maybe a serious priest would be the best person to ask. 



    Online LakeEnjoyer

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #8 on: Yesterday at 06:24:25 AM »
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  • First and foremost, don't marry a non-Catholic.

    My advice is to try, as much as possible within the constraints of your condition, is to try and network as much as you can. Most people traditionally met within social circles, either friendship or familial. Yes there are options online nowadays but I'm sure as you've seen it can be rather difficult. Do you have trad friends? There are quite a few "mover and shaker" types who know a lot of people and can get you to invited to places to meet and make friends with other trads as well as women. Even if you find a way (friend driving, public transport etc) to meet new people (men and women) only a few times a year, you're going to have a lot more success than being locked into the same place.

    It sounds very basic, but even just this can do a lot of help as well as also being able to generally meet more people which I think would also be helpful given your stated family circuмstances.

    Further to this, do you go on Pilgrimages or conferences? These are usually organised well in advance, well advertised and draw lots together who wouldn't normally meet. I know countless couples who met on a pilgrimage. I understand you can't drive, but with that notice surely you can figure out a way to attend? Not to mention the spiritual and other benefits of partaking in these things.

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 06:42:28 AM »
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  • Do not worry about finding a wife yet, first focus on establishing your career. Once your financially stable and have a reasonably secure job, then focus on finding a wife. Plus, you will be able to prove to the ladies that you are able to provide for a family despite your handicap. Also, focus on building up your Faith, Our Lord will help you find a good wife if He wills it for you. 

    Offline Everlast22

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #10 on: Yesterday at 06:55:35 AM »
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  • Do not worry about finding a wife yet, first focus on establishing your career. Once your financially stable and have a reasonably secure job, then focus on finding a wife. Plus, you will be able to prove to the ladies that you are able to provide for a family despite your handicap. Also, focus on building up your Faith, Our Lord will help you find a good wife if He wills it for you.
    Yes^ 

    It's not prudent to marry (young 24 and under) as a man in 2025, unless you come from wealth. (I didn't say it was bad/or a sin) Even wealthy young guys won't get the struggle and character an older 30 year old self made guy will..


    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #11 on: Yesterday at 07:22:15 AM »
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  • Yes^

    It's not prudent to marry (young 24 and under) as a man in 2025 2026, unless you come from wealth. (I didn't say it was bad/or a sin) Even wealthy young guys won't get the struggle and character an older 30 year old self made guy will..
    Fixed it for you. It's OK, I know you older guys lose track of time. ;)

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #12 on: Yesterday at 08:05:24 AM »
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  • Yes^

    It's not prudent to marry (young 24 and under) as a man in 2025, unless you come from wealth. (I didn't say it was bad/or a sin) Even wealthy young guys won't get the struggle and character an older 30 year old self made guy will..
    Yeah but the girls have ridiculous standards, the 30s career guy isn't 'appealing' if he looks old/average looking.

    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #13 on: Yesterday at 10:03:16 AM »
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  • Your legal blindness is not an impediment to marriage. 

    Don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. 

    You sound like you're doing fine. Don't be turned off by the craziness of the world and the mad people even on this forum.

    You just have to be ready for the long haul, and be prepared to travel far to meet someone. It is NOT going to happen soon. I have learned that the hard way. 

    You said you were from a background where there are arranged marriages. I'm guessing India. 

    I know that in India there are Catholic communities and even resistance communities. The priest there takes an active role in arranging connections. If that sounds like something you might be interested, just say so and I can find a way to communicate with you by DM to set you up in that regard.

    But if you want to go the western route, it's going to be harder. Get Masses said for this intention.

    Offline Giovanni Berto

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    Re: Can a man who has serious health issues find a wife in Tradition?
    « Reply #14 on: Yesterday at 11:02:24 AM »
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  • Your legal blindness is not an impediment to marriage.

    Don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise.

    You sound like you're doing fine. Don't be turned off by the craziness of the world and the mad people even on this forum.

    You just have to be ready for the long haul, and be prepared to travel far to meet someone. It is NOT going to happen soon. I have learned that the hard way.

    You said you were from a background where there are arranged marriages. I'm guessing India.

    I know that in India there are Catholic communities and even resistance communities. The priest there takes an active role in arranging connections. If that sounds like something you might be interested, just say so and I can find a way to communicate with you by DM to set you up in that regard.

    But if you want to go the western route, it's going to be harder. Get Masses said for this intention.

    To me it seems that he has Indian background but lives in the USA. Maybe he could find a wife from India. I don't know how conservative Indian Catholics are, but I have read news about resistance when Francis tried to mess with the Oriental Rites there.

    In general, I believe that Indian women might be a better match. Not just because Indians will get along better with Indians, but because they seem to have some virtues and values long forgotten by the Western world, like placing a high value on family bonds. Plus, even pagan Indian womem are far more modest than their Western counterparts.