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Author Topic: Burial Clothes  (Read 2005 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Burial Clothes
« on: February 17, 2015, 12:53:03 PM »
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  • I realize a man can wear a suit and that's perfectly fine.  Most men have them and it's not a difficult choice.

    But what about a woman?  When my mother died, I was tasked with finding something in her closet to put her body in. All she had were some dresses she'd worn to work.  Then there was the other aspect of underclothing and how awful that was to even consider such a thing.  The funeral home asked to me to include that.  :sad:

    It gets me thinking though.  I only have a few skirts and sweaters that I wear to church.  I don't necessarily think those are "nice enough" for burial.  

    But what should a woman be clothed in then?
    What were people buried in in the past?  Robes?  Their wedding dress?  Their fanciest clothes?  Their street clothes, because that's all they had?

    It matters also if there is going to be a viewing.  I don't want one myself.  But at the same time, I don't know what standard protocol is for that in a Catholic funeral.




    Offline MaterDominici

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #1 on: February 17, 2015, 01:07:36 PM »
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  • I'm sure whatever you would wear to a wedding would be suitable.
    Perhaps not all of your Sunday clothes are that nice, but most women have a few "special occasion" dresses.
    My grandmother often bought a new dress for each of her grandchildren's weddings, so by the time she passed away, there were plenty to choose from.
    "I think that Catholicism, that's as sane as people can get."  - Jordan Peterson


    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #2 on: February 17, 2015, 04:04:16 PM »
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  • I would think it mainly only matters for an open-casket viewing.  If no one is going to see the body, anything that covers ought to be fine.  And from what I've seen, usually the bottom of the body is not exposed even in a viewing.  Most caskets have a split lid, and you only see the upper body during the viewing.  You could ask the undertaker to be sure.  In fact, you could ask the undertaker what is appropriate in general.  I think the idea of a special occasion dress is a good one.  But if none are available, really I think any clothes that are dignified, high neckline, etc. should be fine.  Sunday best, dresses worn for work, a nice sweater or blouse - any of those sound good enough to me.  

    Reading over your post, if you are wondering this for your own future funeral, and you don't want open-casket viewing, then I really don't see why it matters at all; anything in your wardrobe should be fine.  

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #3 on: February 17, 2015, 04:44:41 PM »
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  • You might be surprised but a lot of older people have a zipperred garment bag in their closet with EVERYTHING necessary to be buried in.  Who knows how we will appear at the last judgement. I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #4 on: February 17, 2015, 05:29:30 PM »
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  • Quote from: Guest
    You might be surprised but a lot of older people have a zipperred garment bag in their closet with EVERYTHING necessary to be buried in.  Who knows how we will appear at the last judgement. I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.


    I never thought of it that way.  I take it you mean the General Judgment, not the Particular Judgment?  [Given that the Particular Judgment would have already happened already before the viewing, and only your soul is there, not the body.]  As you say, who knows how we will appear then?  I guess I was just thinking that for most of human history, I don't know how much embalming and/or open-casket viewing was done, and so many people were poor.  And clothing, especially before the Industrial Revolution, probably had some value (given that fabric and the sewing was made by hand) - look at how they cast lots for Our Lord's garment because it was valuable, and they buried Him naked, except for the Shroud.  I've heard of other people being buried in shrouds.   So I would think maybe people weren't buried in their best, except for maybe the wealthy.  

    I just googled and found this:

    Quote
    The Early Christian Church also strongly encouraged the use of winding-sheets, except for monarchs and bishops, and their use was general until at least the Renaissance - clothes were very expensive, and they had the advantage that a good set of clothes was not lost to the family.[2] Orthodox Christians still use a burial shroud, usually decorated with a cross and the Trisagion. The special shroud that is used during the Orthodox Holy Week services is called an Epitaphios. Some Catholics also use the burial shroud particularly the Eastern Catholics and traditionalist Roman Catholics.


    Nevertheless, I don't disagree with your sentiment, that as long as you can wear the best, why not do so?  (Given the relative inexpensiveness of clothing today.)  And I do think it's an excellent idea for older people to have what they want to wear on the ready (and all their affairs in order).  That way it saves their loved ones having to figure it out too.  So, given what you said, by all means, have something that you consider very nice ready.  


    Offline poche

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #5 on: February 17, 2015, 11:00:27 PM »
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  • I think the main thing we should be worried about are the virtues we will wear on the alst day when we are judged.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #6 on: February 18, 2015, 08:22:30 AM »
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  • I think MaterDominici's advice is good.  Whatever you would wear as a guest at a wedding would be appropriate to be buried in.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #7 on: February 18, 2015, 08:27:15 AM »
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    Who knows how we will appear at the last judgement. I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.


    What a strange sentiment.  The Lord will judge the state of your soul, not the state of your garments.  As long as what you are wearing isn't sinful, it won't factor into your judgment.

    Should men be buried in white tie, top hat, and tails?  A woman in an evening gown?  Technically these is the most formal clothing in the western world today.


    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #8 on: February 18, 2015, 09:48:26 AM »
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    Who knows how we will appear at the last judgement. I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.


    What a strange sentiment.  The Lord will judge the state of your soul, not the state of your garments.  As long as what you are wearing isn't sinful, it won't factor into your judgment.



    Really?  If He is only judging our soul, then why is our body going to be present (at the last judgement) and why is our body going to heaven or hell?  Our clothes worn during life may be the deciding factor where we spend eternity.  If your wardrobe contained only mini skirts, pants and low cut tops that is probably how you will appear at the last judgement.  Be careful what is in your closet for your relatives to decide what to put on you.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #9 on: February 18, 2015, 09:53:41 AM »
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    Should men be buried in white tie, top hat, and tails?  A woman in an evening gown?  Technically these is the most formal clothing in the western world today.


    Where in the western world (or anywhere)are these  worn today by more than 1% of men?????

    Also Mater mentions "clothes you wore to a wedding".  When we bury our mothers who are not necessarily traditional,  even these may not be acceptable.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #10 on: February 18, 2015, 11:31:17 AM »
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  • Quote from: poche
    I think the main thing we should be worried about are the virtues we will wear on the alst day when we are judged.


    Quote from: Guest
    Quote from: Guest
    Who knows how we will appear at the last judgement. I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.


    What a strange sentiment.  The Lord will judge the state of your soul, not the state of your garments.  As long as what you are wearing isn't sinful, it won't factor into your judgment.


    These 2 comments echo my own thoughts.  And "Our clothes worn during life may be the deciding factor where we spend eternity" ties in with the comment about practicing virtues.  Regarding the last statement, "As long as what you are wearing isn't sinful" - this applies to what you chose to wear during life, rather than in the casket.  It's not like a dead person even has any control over what she wears to her burial, except in the case of someone such as the OP mentioned, who packs up a garment bag for her own funeral. And even then, any number of things could happen such that she doesn't end up in that either (e.g. the house burns down).  As said earlier in the thread, we have no idea how we'll be dressed at the General Judgment at all.  Whatever clothes we were buried in will be rotted long since.  When God resurrects our bodies, who knows what we'll be wearing.  As poche said, we'll be judged on our virtues, not the clothes we were buried in.  

    And regarding this, another thought comes to my mind.  

    Quote
    I only have a few skirts and sweaters that I wear to church. I don't necessarily think those are "nice enough" for burial.

    Quote
    I prefer better than "good enough" when I stand in body before my Lord.


    If the same person said these 2 comments, I think it strange that they are more concerned about what they will be wearing in their coffin, an outfit that possibly no one will ever see except the undertaker.  There is no teaching of the Church that when Our Lord resurrects our bodies for the General Judgment, He will also bring back the clothes we were buried in.  Plus as I said, even if you plan your burial outfit, as a dead person you do not have 100% control over what you'll wear in the coffin. But what we do know is that we have 100% control over what we wear to Mass, where we "stand in body before [Our] Lord."  Personally, I think it's more important to dress your best for Sunday Mass.  And if a woman has good, appropriate Sunday-best outfits to "stand in body before [Our] Lord" at Sunday Mass, why wouldn't that be "good enough" to stand before Him at the General Judgment, on the off-chance that we might be wearing the same thing we were buried in?  


    Offline moneil

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #11 on: February 18, 2015, 12:23:44 PM »
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  • As I’ve mentioned in a couple of other threads I have some background in the funeral business and will probable eventually study to become a funeral director as a post retirement from cows occupation.

    The typical standard is one’s “Sunday best”, though MaterDominici’s suggestion of what one would wear to a wedding (or a funeral, for that matter) is appropriate.  I hadn’t thought of someone having a “zipperred garment bag in their closet with EVERYTHING necessary to be buried in”, but planning ahead is always good and many elderly in their final years may not get out much and might not have something “fancy” in their current wardrobe.  A thought is that nice things can often be found at a thrift shop inexpensively.  While not that common in the smaller rural funeral homes I’m more familiar with, larger firms often have burial clothes for both men and women in their selection room.

    I really don’t think how one is dressed for their burial has much to do with their judgment but our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost (1 Corinthians 6:19) and are to be treated with respect and dignity, even after death.  A friend of mine at the local funeral home said that even if a family asks for direct cremation with no services they still bath and lay out the remains, set the features, comb the hair, etc., and they will ask the family to bring clothing to dress the body in.  A while back I read an article about the military mortuary at Dover Air Force base in Delaware, where fallen soldiers are taken to be returned to their families.  It said that even when the remains are so badly damaged as to be unpresentable, or even undressable, after the body is bathed, embalmed, and placed in the casket, a full dress uniform is laid out on top of it.

    Another thought for planning, it is traditional for the deceased to be laid out with a rosary in their hands, typically the one they used in life.  Sometimes though this rosary may be a family heirloom or a very nice one that would appropriately be passed on to someone.  Funeral homes that handle very many Catholic services will have rosaries available for this.

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #12 on: February 18, 2015, 02:38:17 PM »
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  • Quote from: moneil
    [complete post just above] ...


    A very good post!


    Quote from: moneil
    Another thought for planning, it is traditional for the deceased to be laid out with a rosary in their hands, typically the one they used in life.  Sometimes though this rosary may be a family heirloom or a very nice one that would appropriately be passed on to someone.


    Some funeral directors will allow you to place the personal Rosary in the hands for the viewing, and then before closing the casket, replace it with another one to be buried, so that the family can keep the personal one for sentimental or heirloom purposes.  

    Änσnymσus

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    Burial Clothes
    « Reply #13 on: February 18, 2015, 03:49:30 PM »
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  • Are any 3rd Order members here thinking of being buried in the order's habit? I have read they are permitted this, but do they really do that anymore?