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OP here-- am a man, by the way. Got looped into this problem because some male friends of mine keep receiving antagonistic messages from the woman at odd hours of the night.

As far as the woman telling the truth, she is not. Whether this is because her perception of reality is profoundly distorted but sincere, or because she is genuinely delusional, or even just plain wicked, is quite difficult to tell.

The problem is not merely that she is not telling the truth, but that she enflames serious drama with untruths. If she were just some casual teller of tales for the sake of entertainment or jocoseness, there would be no issue. She makes claims about how other people are treating her, and her family, which are demonstrably false and then accelerates in demanding justice when people do not admit to the lies.

The family has attended our church off and on for a few years. Any time they are "off" it is because of some drama like I've described. Then eventually they come back, things seem ok for a bit, then the drama re-asserts itself.

If there has been a proper investigation of her claims and *if* in fact her statements against others are really untrue, then the clearest and most obvious indication of what is going on is that *these things did really happen to her at some previous point* and she is re-living the trauma of that, and superimposing the trauma from the past onto persons in the present.   

This is very common in victims of abuse or persons with ptsd:   they conflate past events with present and a kind of time-overlap or "time-warp" (not really, but in the mind of the person re-living the trauma it feels like a real time-warp is occurring) occurs.


That is, her behavior is the outgrowth of some trauma, either past or present, and should be approached as such.   

adden. - Even with a clinical "diagnosis" of BPD, it has become commonly understood that these "diagnoses" are, again, ultimately manifestations of untreated trauma,  The trauma manifests itself differently in different people, hence the variety of mental health labels. 

Once again, we are assuming the thing that needs to be proved.

Some person on the internet  -- *claims* -- that a woman at her church has BPD.  The OP has essentially made herself himself a guru, a doctor, and a self-styled expert throwing down the gauntlet that another woman at her church "has" BPD.

Meanwhile, from the description, the woman in question at the church has acted apparently erratically -- which is a sign of trauma -- and has made accusations that others have possibly violated her. 

In justice, it is at least important to consider that the woman's claims might be true, an to investigate.    In justice, it is important to consider that the woman's behavior *might* be consistent with someone who has been violated or traumatized, and give the woman every possible benefit of every possible doubt.  In justice, it is important that the woman's claims be properly and officially investigated.

NOT to go on the internet and "give her (a) non-expert label" and start a thread with people then speculating as to woman's status as head case.

OP here. I appreciate your discretion. For the record, the reason we've got to the point where we are right now is that there were some claims made that we were pretty sure were false, and recommended just letting go of, but it was insisted  (by the belligerent party) that these claims be trial-lawyered. After trial lawyering the claims we became increasingly disturbed with *just* how false they were, and began to wonder what was really going on-- how and why someone would be so adamant about something that was so plainly false. 

Also for the record, I never used the word violated, which has certain connotations. The offenses claimed are nowhere near that dramatic, not even in the same ballpark or sport, even though they're being pursued with an energy and vigor that would suggest otherwise.

As to the BPD thing, you're reading too much into it. This is a person who has a very unstable pattern of relationships with other people, who sabotages relationships as soon as they seem to be going well, who asserts victimization with great regularity, who does not accept attempts at diplomacy, who exaggerates to the point of just telling untruths, and all with chronic consistency. These behaviors conveniently fall under the heading of BPD, and it's a lot easier to refer to them that way than to constantly list all of the behaviors in play. 

But the point isn't to be diagnostic, it's just to try to communicate the kind of behaviors we're dealing with to seek advice from other people's experiences for how to best manage the situation. 

More likely something demonic. Don't try to pin her terrible character and wicked tricks on a construct from a Jєωιѕн pseudo science.

While I agree that psychoanalysis is a Jєωιѕн pseudoscience, not all of psychiatry and psychology are pseudoscientific.