OP here.
The family in question, by all appearances, is very pious. I assume their diet is good, most of what they eat they source themselves. They have a small farm.
I used the term BPD just because it's the most convenient way to indicate a collection of behaviors-- regardless of the veracity of BPD clinically speaking.
To the poster who asked about just telling her the truth, I do think this is necessary. It isn't my place though, I think we need to bring it to her husband. I'm not sure how receptive he will be, he has his own issues (many of which I think are caused by his wife's behavior). Do pray for this family.