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Author Topic: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?  (Read 4959 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
« on: November 25, 2023, 01:21:58 PM »
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    • I have been invited to the wedding of a secular friend. He is not religious and was previously married in a secular ceremony. That marriage lasted a couple years and ended in divorce. I was invited to his new wedding and I'm wondering if this would be permissible to attend. My gut says "no" but I couldn't get a straight answer from my priest. 
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    Offline FarmerWife

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #1 on: November 25, 2023, 01:27:00 PM »
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    • I personally wouldn't.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #2 on: November 25, 2023, 01:50:00 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 25, 2023, 01:21:58 PM
    I have been invited to the wedding of a secular friend. He is not religious and was previously married in a secular ceremony. That marriage lasted a couple years and ended in divorce. I was invited to his new wedding and I'm wondering if this would be permissible to attend. My gut says "no" but I couldn't get a straight answer from my priest.
    I'm interested in what he said. Would I be correct in guessing that he gave you points to weigh in order to make a decision but you are looking for a straight yes or no?
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    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #3 on: November 25, 2023, 01:57:18 PM »
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    • Go with your gut! It is not a marriage.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #4 on: November 25, 2023, 02:11:08 PM »
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    • by attending you would be giving tacit approval to adultery. If one were invited to a sodomite wedding
    I'm sure there would be no hesitation to decline. 
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    Offline 2Vermont

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #5 on: November 25, 2023, 02:13:00 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 25, 2023, 01:21:58 PM
    I have been invited to the wedding of a secular friend. He is not religious and was previously married in a secular ceremony. That marriage lasted a couple years and ended in divorce. I was invited to his new wedding and I'm wondering if this would be permissible to attend. My gut says "no" but I couldn't get a straight answer from my priest.
    I tend to think there is more to know about your "not religious" friend and his previous "secular" marriage.  That might be why your priest's response was more involved. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #6 on: November 25, 2023, 02:16:14 PM »
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    • Quote from: 2Vermont on November 25, 2023, 02:13:00 PM
    I tend to think there is more to know about your "not religious" friend and his previous "secular" marriage.  That might be why your priest's response was more involved.

    For instance, it's hardly implausible to suppose the man's "first" wife was actually on her second or third marriage, making their union invalid. There's more to be considered, I agree. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #7 on: November 25, 2023, 02:49:24 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 25, 2023, 01:21:58 PM
    My gut says "no" but I couldn't get a straight answer from my priest.
    Was it that the priest gave a long explanation covering all the ways that your friend's previous marriage wasn't canonically valid? If your friend was baptized and raised Catholic, his previous secular marriage was a serious lapse, and he'd be repeating that with the new woman. If your friend was raised in some non-Christian sect, then it was just a natural marriage, not a sin. 

    To keep it simple, Catholics should avoid being present at any ceremony that plays make-believe about marriage. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #8 on: November 25, 2023, 03:49:11 PM »
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    • The friend is and has always been non religious. He celebrates giving gifts at Christmas but that is the closest thing.  The priest basically told me if me not attending with cause him to shut out any idea of the faith than it might be an option to attend. 

    As an above poster said, I'd automatically decline a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ "marriage" so I think I'm just going to go with my gut and not attend this event.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #9 on: November 25, 2023, 04:02:17 PM »
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    • You shouldn’t condone divorce even if by pagans.  Don’t go. 
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    Online Ladislaus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #10 on: November 25, 2023, 04:14:36 PM »
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    • Without evidence to the contrary, the individual's first marriage should be presumed valid, thus making this one a farce.  As such, you can't really show up because attendance at such an event is to tacitly approve of it and "celebrate" it, and in a sense witness it.  That's why weddings are public events, so they can be publicly witnessed.  If a wedding were in a Catholic setting and you knew of reasons why the marriage would not be valid, you'd be required to come forward with the information.
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    Online Ladislaus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #11 on: November 25, 2023, 04:18:49 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 25, 2023, 03:49:11 PM
    The friend is and has always been non religious. He celebrates giving gifts at Christmas but that is the closest thing.  The priest basically told me if me not attending with cause him to shut out any idea of the faith than it might be an option to attend.

    Is this a Trad priest?  That's incredibly weak.  If anything, telling him why you can't attend might plant a seed in his brain about the faith ... especially if (and IMO there's a 90% chance) this one goes south and he's divorcing again in a few years.  Alternatively, if in your judgment, this would do no good, or might cause harm, you could always come up with some alternative excuse (using mental reservation).  But one can't condone his living in sin and give the impression you consider that a marriage.  This sounds like the priest's codeword for giving in to human respect ... which rarely wins converts.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #12 on: November 25, 2023, 05:03:32 PM »
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    • https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/are-people-married-in-non-catholic-ceremonies-really-married/msg859528/?PHPSESSID=k10fm978nc9p7s924c6q3qps64#msg859528

    According to the chart here, 2 non catholics in civil marriage are valid. Though I suppose the question becomes is divorce valid for them?
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    Offline HeavyHanded

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #13 on: November 26, 2023, 03:45:22 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 25, 2023, 05:03:32 PM
    https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/are-people-married-in-non-catholic-ceremonies-really-married/msg859528/?PHPSESSID=k10fm978nc9p7s924c6q3qps64#msg859528

    According to the chart here, 2 non catholics in civil marriage are valid. Though I suppose the question becomes is divorce valid for them?
    No, divorce is never valid, because divorce is fake.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Attending Secular Marriage of Divorced and Remarried?
    « Reply #14 on: November 26, 2023, 04:19:08 AM »
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    • Quote from: HeavyHanded on November 26, 2023, 03:45:22 AM
    No, divorce is never valid, because divorce is fake.
    So even valid secular marriages can't be split by the state?
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