You’re going to anticipate the birth of the baby, not the method by which it was conceived! Unless you’re going to say the baby doesn’t have a soul? If a woman was raped but decided to keep the baby and raise it, would you refuse to attend the shower? How do you really know the circuмstances under which a baby was conceived unless you were there? A married couple could engage in impure acts in the process and not say anything. None of this is the baby’s fault. He’ll be born with the same Original Sin as anyone else, not more if under sinful circuмstances, not less if his parents were very holy.
I do think it’s in poor taste for a couple to announce the details of the baby’s conception, but again, it’s the couple’s sin, not the coming arrival. I once went to a shower for which the baby was not present. It was an arranged adoption where the birth mother, the pregnant woman, was not present by choice due to her particular circuмstances which the adopting couple did not reveal. The gifts were mainly for the baby, not the adoptive couple. Without the baby, who would give a couple in their late thirties gifts of onsies, bottles, diapers, a diaper bag, crib sheets, receiving blankets, bibs, tiny clothes, a home knit bunting and matching booties, a carriage-stroller, rattles, crib mobile, a cuddly stuffed lamb, powder, baby wash, baby tub…
Go, and celebrate a new soul soon to arrive in this world!