Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on August 14, 2024, 08:29:25 PM
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Or about anything having to do with religion when she’s speaking to me or visiting. She’s novus ordo and living in adultery but she has convinced herself that God wants her to be happy and not be alone. She’s one of those very “religious” ones who talk about God and religious things all the time.
I wonder if this would be bad, prideful and uncharitable, or if it would make her reconsider that she’s not in a good position. It really bothers me when she talks about God or anything to do with religion because it’s like listening to an unrepentant criminal, say, a murder, do the same. It’s the same thing in principle and nobody would stand for that.
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Or about anything having to do with religion when she’s speaking to me or visiting. She’s novus ordo and living in adultery but she has convinced herself that God wants her to be happy and not be alone. She’s one of those very “religious” ones who talk about God and religious things all the time.
I wonder if this would be bad, prideful and uncharitable, or if it would make her reconsider that she’s not in a good position. It really bothers me when she talks about God or anything to do with religion because it’s like listening to an unrepentant criminal, say, a murder, do the same. It’s the same thing in principle and nobody would stand for that.
I have found that unless someone specifically and earnestly asks for my opinion, it is generally best if not given (unless the person is under one's care and then one has a duty to say something).
I have often created worse scenarios and helped harden people's hearts against God and the Faith from saying a word of rebuke when the time was not right...
It took me years to learn that silence and praying for people is usually the best option unless someone asks a question or for advice...
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What sort of things is she talking about?
Couldn't you always put in a plug for truth? or does it just make you angry and sin yourself?
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If she's not talking rubbish to the children, then it is probably better to endure it.
If you are a woman, this is specially important, since the relationship between the husband's mother and the wife is always a delicate matter.
You could cause great damage if you decide to bring this up.
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Or about anything having to do with religion when she’s speaking to me or visiting. She’s novus ordo and living in adultery but she has convinced herself that God wants her to be happy and not be alone. She’s one of those very “religious” ones who talk about God and religious things all the time.
I wonder if this would be bad, prideful and uncharitable, or if it would make her reconsider that she’s not in a good position. It really bothers me when she talks about God or anything to do with religion because it’s like listening to an unrepentant criminal, say, a murder, do the same. It’s the same thing in principle and nobody would stand for that.
God wants her to be happy, that is to go to heaven. She can't go there unless she repents of her sin, which what God wants her to do. Unfortunately it seems that she believes in herself and not God. Fraternal correction can be quite tricky.
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What does your husband think?
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I would let your husband address it with his mom, at a time when no children are present. Then, after that's been done, if she brings it up, just stay silent for a few minutes and change the subject. If he doesn't want to address it with her, then I would still just change the subject if religion comes up. She'll get the idea. My MIL is Protestant, and so I can relate.
If she brings up topics in the presence of your children, I would use that as a chance for discussion later. It would be best, however, if she is an adulterous relationship, to avoid as much contact with her as possible, to avoid scandal to the children. There was another thread on here somewhere about that very issue. Don't know how comfortable your husband would be with that...
Good luck. You have my prayers.
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I am the husband, so it’s my wife’s mother. My wife doesn’t like it either of course.
The thing is that she almost always makes you agree with whatever she says by saying “right?” at the end because she has a dominating personality.
The things she says are not bad in themselves for the most part and would be fine if she weren’t in her current situation. But I just don’t know if keeping quiet would be human respect because for example she says stuff like “we always have to pray and trust in God, He always hears our prayers, right?” and things like that.
Well, no, praying in the state of mortal sin without any intention of leaving it, is not pleasing to God or in any way meritorious, so He won’t really “hear” your prayers in that case. How can I keep quiet and simply say Yes to that sort of thing? To me, doing so gives the impression that it doesn’t matter whether you’re in the state of grace or not, God will always favorably hear your prayers anyway.
I know this is of course what they make you think in the novus ordo because they don’t teach the truth there anymore, so I always wonder if these are opportunities to try and make her understand it’s not how she thinks it is.
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I have found that unless someone specifically and earnestly asks for my opinion, it is generally best if not given (unless the person is under one's care and then one has a duty to say something).
I have often created worse scenarios and helped harden people's hearts against God and the Faith from saying a word of rebuke when the time was not right...
It took me years to learn that silence and praying for people is usually the best option unless someone asks a question or for advice...
I’ve started to do that as well for a while now.
This isn’t something I’m looking for, she always has to say or send something unsolicited.
We've tried to explain things before but she doesn’t agree and isn’t interested in learning anything.
That’s fine, and thats why I don’t bring up things anymore. We’ve also asked her a couple of times not to take God’s name in vain when she’s talking to us because she does it ALL THE TIME but she still continues to do it. It’s like she doesn’t really care what we think.
I feel like if she doesn’t want to hear anything and doesn’t even respect what we ask her not to do with us, then I should be able to tell her I don’t want to hear anything having to do with God, Our Lady, or anything religious from her either.
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If she doesn’t care that she’s blaspheming, that says alot. Could you just invite her over less often and put boundaries?
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(https://i.imgur.com/5MFQOxv.png)
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Be sure you have a come to Jesus meeting with the children, IF, they are of reason. Your grandma has been conditioned to think she is ok in adultery. We know this is against God's law. Grandma does not think before she speaks. We know better. We may have grandma for a while, for a meal, but we can't have her for long, for we do not want to upset the apple cart, the family.
Mother-in-law i has been brain washed in new order to think adultery is not adultery but having a friend and happiness is with human and not of God first for consolation. We see this in Sun City, AZ. It is bad! We know the new order is in accepting of immoratlities of all kinds. So, it is really sad. My mother went through the same. when my dad died age 54, 5 years later she marries a divorcee, recommended by my non religious aunt. My mother of the new order asked the new order, no priest what could be done for her to have it her way. Priest and mom had it rigged.Mom and divorcee were to get their relationship blessed (marriage) by a minister protestant. She did, at my Aunts house and my brother joined with his girlfriend double ring, double scandal. Then pay up front a $1,000 for this divorcee for an annulment, through new order. Then my mom could not receive sacraments till the annulment came back, approved (of course). Then the reason was, he did not know divorce was wrong. (sure?!) Then she could go to confession and all would be in place, or look good.
So, my mom did not like me, but I told my other 8 siblings, oh, well. There is nothing catholic going on there. Really sad!!
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I’ve started to do that as well for a while now.
This isn’t something I’m looking for, she always has to say or send something unsolicited.
We've tried to explain things before but she doesn’t agree and isn’t interested in learning anything.
That’s fine, and thats why I don’t bring up things anymore. We’ve also asked her a couple of times not to take God’s name in vain when she’s talking to us because she does it ALL THE TIME but she still continues to do it. It’s like she doesn’t really care what we think.
I feel like if she doesn’t want to hear anything and doesn’t even respect what we ask her not to do with us, then I should be able to tell her I don’t want to hear anything having to do with God, Our Lady, or anything religious from her either.
If she doesn't listen to your requests not to blaspheme, then why would she listen to your requests not to hear anything about God, etc?
How often does the family interact with her? Is she invited over? Or does she stop by unannounced? Or does she have you all over her place on a regular basis?
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You are head of the household. I would be kind to her but quote what Jesus said about adultery.
Annulment was between couples who didn’t have sex or didn’t have children.
Your mother in law isn’t the only one. Many don’t know about adultery.
I just had the conversation with my father in regards to my sister’s adultery. People don’t understand. They think it’s normal to divorce and remarry.
I spoke with a woman about her Baptist daughter who is on her second divorce. First marriage no children involved. The second guy who is novus Ordo is big time creepy. I told her that she should concentrate on her child. She can’t date because it’s adultery.
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In the Bible, Jesus taught that adultery is wrongand that it can begin with lustful thoughts about people outside of marriage:
- Matthew 5:27–28: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart".
- Luke 16:18: "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery
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Many believe that it’s ok to look but not touch. Looking is bad too. Many people aren’t reading their bibles and they aren’t hearing it from the pulpits.
Look at television especially soap operas. Adultery. Tv, movies and even music. How many times did I sing “I want Jessie’s girl.” Yikes.
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I’ve started to do that as well for a while now.
This isn’t something I’m looking for, she always has to say or send something unsolicited.
We've tried to explain things before but she doesn’t agree and isn’t interested in learning anything.
That’s fine, and thats why I don’t bring up things anymore. We’ve also asked her a couple of times not to take God’s name in vain when she’s talking to us because she does it ALL THE TIME but she still continues to do it. It’s like she doesn’t really care what we think.
I feel like if she doesn’t want to hear anything and doesn’t even respect what we ask her not to do with us, then I should be able to tell her I don’t want to hear anything having to do with God, Our Lady, or anything religious from her either.
Talking to her about her adultery probably won't be worth it...but she takes God's name in vain constantly? That in my opinion is unacceptable, especially if you have children who might pick up what she says and do so themselves.
I would definition lay down the law about that... Tell her it is for the sake of the children. What she does in her own home is her concern but what she does in your home and in a way that affects your family is yours. If she doesn't respect your wishes, I would try to visit as little as possible. Children are like sponges. I have known little 3 or 4 year old children who constantly take a God's name in vain because they are around family members who do so...
Praying for you and your family...
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Talking to her about her adultery probably won't be worth it...but she takes God's name in vain constantly? That in my opinion is unacceptable, especially if you have children who might pick up what she says and do so themselves.
I would definition lay down the law about that... Tell her it is for the sake of the children. What she does in her own home is her concern but what she does in your home and in a way that affects your family is yours. If she doesn't respect your wishes, I would try to visit as little as possible. Children are like sponges. I have known little 3 or 4 year old children who constantly take a God's name in vain because they are around family members who do so...
Praying for you and your family...
Agreed. My questions upthread is an attempt to find out whether interactions can be limited/boundaries drawn.
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Jessie’s girl’s name is Jenny. Her number is 867-5309.
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I would think, given the circuмstances, limiting interaction is best. If that's how she treats you--an adult--what damage she could do to a trusting, believing child!
Sadly, we never allow our children over at their grandparents home unattended. Very rarely do they get to do something with Grandma unattended. They're not Catholic, we can't take that chance. Sounds like you're in the same boat.
Very sorry for your situation. If you don't take a respectful stand, who will show her the error of her ways?
To the husband: you'll have to be firm with your mother to protect your wife and children. It should not be your wife's place to correct your mother. It's hard enough being a daughter-in-law without doing that!
To the wife: Just throw away/delete her things without reading it. Block her email, if you have to. If she's not respecting boundaries, you have to address it yourself or have your husband address it.
Songbird's advice was very good.
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Growing up, I never heard my mother cuss. The last couple of years she has been taking the Lord’s name in vain too. Demonic possession? She talks about divorce many years. I remind her of her wedding vows for better or for worse.
I correct her almost every time she does it. One time she slipped and corrected herself. I thought it was a good start.
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Novus Ordo in some cases have caused divorces. These same divorced people hand out communion, lecturer, choir directors. The novus Ordo is so broken.
I was talking to my father about looking at other women is adultery He made a comment that it’s ok to look but not have sex with a woman. I told him that looking at another woman is adultery which is what Jesus said. He didn’t know.
There are many single men and women who marry or date people. That is adultery.
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I would think, given the circuмstances, limiting interaction is best. If that's how she treats you--an adult--what damage she could do to a trusting, believing child!
Sadly, we never allow our children over at their grandparents home unattended. Very rarely do they get to do something with Grandma unattended. They're not Catholic, we can't take that chance. Sounds like you're in the same boat.
Very sorry for your situation. If you don't take a respectful stand, who will show her the error of her ways?
To the husband: you'll have to be firm with your mother to protect your wife and children. It should not be your wife's place to correct your mother. It's hard enough being a daughter-in-law without doing that!
To the wife: Just throw away/delete her things without reading it. Block her email, if you have to. If she's not respecting boundaries, you have to address it yourself or have your husband address it.
Songbird's advice was very good.
If you followed along, it’s the wife’s mother not the husband’s.
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Sorry, I guess I thought they were both posting.
Regardless, the advice still applies. Although his wife should speak up to her mother, as well.
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Jessie’s girl’s name is Jenny. Her number is 867-5309.
:cowboy: Don't remember the last time I listened to that tune.
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Or about anything having to do with religion when she’s speaking to me or visiting. She’s novus ordo and living in adultery but she has convinced herself that God wants her to be happy and not be alone. She’s one of those very “religious” ones who talk about God and religious things all the time.
I wonder if this would be bad, prideful and uncharitable, or if it would make her reconsider that she’s not in a good position. It really bothers me when she talks about God or anything to do with religion because it’s like listening to an unrepentant criminal, say, a murder, do the same. It’s the same thing in principle and nobody would stand for that.
Your going about this the wrong way IMO.
Why should you be afraid or upset to talk about God with her? I'm not upset speaking to such people I'm more concerned how they'll react when I mention it and whether they can handle it, but I'd find ways to work it into the conversation, they'll distance themselves from me if they don't want to hear it, no need to shun them IMO... unless of course they are subverting your kids behind your back or other such things.
I'm reminded of Matthew 23:11-12... the greatest among us is the servant of the others... if you know more then you can help educate her... now there are perhaps certain boundaries depending on the situation.
If I were talking to an unrepentant criminal... I would say, yea your right, murder is evil, they did commit murder and your not as bad as them... but stealing is also part of the Ten Commandments too. You can learn something from these people too, you shouldn't write anyone off so to speak IMO.
Anyway, it's so difficult to give advice on such matters because I have only a very small portion of the whole story so take it with a grain of salt... There is also Our Lady untier of knots.
God Bless
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OP here. Sorry for not giving more info.
MIL lives far away, she hasn’t visited since last year, so all interactions with her are through the phone.
To be honest communication with her has gone down a lot recently.
I’ve been thinking more about the future because we do have a baby, should’ve clarified that.
Thank you all for all the advice!
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Cool. She lives far away.
Let’s all pray that your MIL and May our own relatives start following the real Jesus . May they believe and repent instead seeking pleasures and traps of Satan.
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OP here. Sorry for not giving more info.
MIL lives far away, she hasn’t visited since last year, so all interactions with her are through the phone.
To be honest communication with her has gone down a lot recently.
I’ve been thinking more about the future because we do have a baby, should’ve clarified that.
Thank you all for all the advice!
Good. It sounds like things are slowly resolving on their own.
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OP here. Sorry for not giving more info.
MIL lives far away, she hasn’t visited since last year, so all interactions with her are through the phone.
To be honest communication with her has gone down a lot recently.
I’ve been thinking more about the future because we do have a baby, should’ve clarified that.
Thank you all for all the advice!
:pray::pray::pray: