One forms his concept of God's paternity from HIS OWN EARTHLY FATHER. Ergo, not having a father causes one to be damaged goods in this area. It's hard -- no, impossible -- to properly form an idea of God's loving, tender paternity when you have never been loved, protected, guided, and lovingly chastised by a father -- who of course must also be present in your life.
I agree with what you say, and I am very aggressively involved in my son's life, both
in spite of, and
because of, the fact that his mother and I are not together. I have primary custody and he is basically with me all the time, and I homeschool him on top of that. (I am retired and of
extremely modest independent means, so I do not have to work.) Our society basically assumes that mothers run everything in the upbringing of their children, and fathers are relegated to second fiddle (or no role at all). At least as it relates to boys, this is the opposite of what right order should be, and I am thankful to have this role in my son's life. When you think of it, the phenomenon of "it's all about the momma" actually enables "stepfathers" --- my son's mother is invalidly "remarried" and, thankfully, her consort plays no real part in my son's life, nor would my son desire this.
However, what of circuмstances where the father is removed from his children's lives by death? My father's father died when he was 9 years old, from a respiratory illness aggravated by having to work in hazardous conditions to support his large family. There is clearly no moral fault here. And yes, my father did suffer from not having a father to shepherd him growing up. What boy wouldn't?
And yes, it is a sorry state of affairs when we have to rejoice that an unwed mother doesn't have an abortion, but that's just the way it is nowadays.