I remember the days of 1 baby- it was a hard time! There is nobody to entertain them except for you.

I have a 7 month old right now, but I can usually cook and do chores without too much issue because the older kids will take care of her.

One thing that I did (and still do) is put a high chair in the kitchen and give them snacks or kitchen gadgets to play with. I’ll also let them stack cans of food or bang on some pots or pans. Back in the 1 and 2 baby days I’d purposely let them make a mess of something in the kitchen just so I could have time to cook or do dishes! Making messes is very entertaining for them and I found it worth the trade off.

I also push babies around in an umbrella stroller around the house. They don’t tolerate it long but it does gain me 5 minutes or so.

I have a very hard time listening to my baby cry. We are wired to respond to them. I have done some sleep training at bedtime/night time but won’t let them cry during the day. My house was always a mess during those early years because of it. My husband didn’t care about a messy house so I just went with it. 🤷‍♀️ He was more concerned with the happiness and emotional health of mom and baby as long as he had clean clothes to wear to work.

I get up at 5:30 am in general to give me time to get dressed, pray my morning prayers and get mentally,  physically, and spiritually ready to face each day.

This is another thing I’ve really struggled with…how am I supposed to get up early if I can’t go to sleep early? It’s been impossible to establish a routine and get her to sleep at the same time each day. Every day is different and there’s always something going on. Right now it’s teething. 

If she DOES go to sleep early, she’ll wake up at least once or even twice during the night, sometimes even more, so I can’t get that many hours in a row of good sleep. 

If she goes to sleep early, there’s always messes to pick up, washing etc. so I can’t just go to sleep at the same time she does, unless I leave things a mess.

I don’t know if I’m just supposed to suck it up and force myself to get up early everyday even if I haven’t slept enough, even if it means going around like a zombie the whole time. 

This is another thing I’ve really struggled with…how am I supposed to get up early if I can’t go to sleep early? It’s been impossible to establish a routine and get her to sleep at the same time each day. Every day is different and there’s always something going on. Right now it’s teething.

If she DOES go to sleep early, she’ll wake up at least once or even twice during the night, sometimes even more, so I can’t get that many hours in a row of good sleep.

If she goes to sleep early, there’s always messes to pick uEp, washing etc. so I can’t just go to sleep at the same time she does, unless I leave things a mess.

I don’t know if I’m just supposed to suck it up and force myself to get up early everyday even if I haven’t slept enough, even if it means going around like a zombie the whole time.

Throw it all out the window and do what is best for you and your baby's health.  No stress, my dear! If you and baby need sleep, then sleep or rest. Dirt is always there :-)

Mine is almost 19 months old. I'm a first-time mom as well and it was alot to handle. I had no help (no grandparents, babysitters) except for my husband who also works from home. He can hold her sometimes while he programs or watch her while he's taking a break. Some things I use to entertain her. She likes being on the countertop and plays with bottles. They really entertain her so I can do my kitchen stuff while keeping an eye on her. She watches educational videos on my phone and is pretty engaged. She plays with the walker, "busy board", anything that rattles or clinks, etc. A busyboard is something you can make yourself as well. You just take some plyboard and put random stuff on it like a switch, doorbell, gears, buttons, etc. 

 I used to do the carrier thing but my baby is way too heavy and i don't actually get much done. We have a playpen but she cries because she's by herself. It works better if someone is around her, so a playpen nearby while you're working. You might also want multiple playpens. And the stroller thing is good. When I was outside working in the garden, I would put her in the wagon or stroller. My daughter is starting to walk so it'll be easier when spring comes and she could maybe help me outdoors or in the kitchen. Also, there's a toddler step stool that you can get when she's older. 

As for crying it out, I tried when she was younger but it was hard on me and my husband didn't like it. I only had to use it a few times when I had no choice. She's in her own room now (she sleeps in her playpen on a twin mattress) so I get wayyy more sleep. She'll cry in the middle of night but she'll go back to sleep. Before, I would go to her room and nurse her to sleep again, and then sneak away quietly. For naps, I still nurse her to sleep, and it's pretty smooth. I also nurse her whenever she wants comfort. 

I also bought her this. I like it cause you can suction on some surfaces. Suction toys are great cause they can't throw them around. 

OP again…

Another issue I am facing now is that, like I said, she’s super clingy right now and almost always wants me to play with her, she’s almost always grabbing my legs and this really gets in the way of trying to do anything that isn’t kitchen or cooking related because I can’t just strap her to the high chair and give her food, she’s barely eating food right now as it is so it wouldn’t work.

How do you all deal with this? It’s either waste time playing with her and not do anything for the moment, or leave her in the playpen with a video but I really don’t like her looking at screens. Sometimes she tires of the video and starts crying so it doesn’t always work either.

How did women in olden days got things done with a toddler following you around if they had no modern stuff to help distract them and if they had no other family members to help?

I think that this is normal for around that age when you only have one child.  I remember that with our first it was hard to get anything done with him around.  He always had to be right there with me whenever I did anything and it would get me SO frustrated at times. 

I found that including him in what I was doing helped a bit.  If I was doing dishes I offered up one side of the sink for him to play in.  If I was folding laundry I gave him the socks to play with while I folded the rest.  If I was sweeping I gave him his own little broom.

Once our second son was old enough to play with our first son, then suddenly the older son didn't care as much to follow me around everywhere.  He did want to make sure he knew where I was and all 3 of them still like to be within a room or two of me when they play but in general I don't have to have them hugging my legs and right up there with me all the time.

Our 22 month old still does Luke to me right with me a lot of the time but sometimes he will also be entertained by his older brothers instead.  (We have a sunroom right off of the kitchen which we turned into a play room.)  

I was thinking of you and this thread yesterday when I hardly ws able to get anything done because our youngest was being super clingy.   At one point he fell asleep on me and I managed to successfully put him off on the couch and run off to do dishes finally right before dinner. (He just stopped taking regular naps.) 😅



Long story short...  Hang in there!  It will hopefully get better soon but there will always be days when you aren't able to get much done. ☺️🙏

How did women in olden days got things done with a toddler following you around if they had no modern stuff to help distract them and if they had no other family members to help?

A classic is to leave one (or one per room) cabinet down low that's filled with things that can't break. Pots & pans, cooking spoons, etc. In the living room it might have an old remote, a empty milk jug, an empty cookie tin, etc. Toys are alright, but it seems they're more entertained by random things than by toys designed to entertain them. I used to keep a little container in my bathroom full of random things that were not normally available to explore. I can't even remember what most of them were, but I'd set baby and the "treasure chest" on the floor and then could grab a quick shower. Worst case, baby would lose interest and come stand next to the shower complaining, but not screaming or even crying since I'm clearly right there. Just make sure to baby-proof the room first.