I've known this man for a while, and even though we were long distance, we spent time together when we had days off, I've visited his family and he had visited mine. He wasn't a practice Catholic before we met, but he started to go to traditional Mass. But he doesn't have much spiritual life other than going to Mass. We're engaged and I believed it was the right thing to do for me to fly into his home country and live with his parents while preparing for marriage. We have arranged with a priest as well but we're far from the priest so it's difficult to arrange meetings.
Well, things started to go kind of crazy.
First of all, his parents started to show hostilities and nick picked every little thing (not just about me, they've been doing that to him his entire life). This was a known issue but they were not doing that when I visited the last time. Now we're being constantly harassed and requested to both move out in a couple weeks, which force me to go back to my family due to obvious reason of the Catholic teaching against cohabitation before marriage. It certainly didn't help when he's actually the one complaining and cussing about his parents all day to me and his other family member, and getting stressed out, but he refused to mention that to his parents because "it is their house". His mother actually mocks at him for remaining chaste before marriage implying I'm taking advantage of him.
And then naturally we spend more time together now. I started to feel that he is treating me without any consideration with all kinds of excuses but also blame me for the consequences, and make me not feel like treated as a human being but more of an annoyance or accessory, and taking care of my basic needs (he pays his parents for my housing, food, getting around) was a favour that I need to be grateful for (he says to me that he's being too nice to me for carrying my bags and no other man in the world does that), then also things happen he gets frustrated, then he applogises, and then he continues again over and over again. He never got physically violent. Are not beating a woman and doing some basic things for woman like carrying her bags etc. really deserve to be some big selling point or that's just normal human being??? Am I actually losing my mind?
And there was one day we're going out and he needs to stop by the company for a meeting first, which would take an hour or two. He wanted me to wait for him in the car in the parking lot during the meeting. I asked if he could drop me off at a nearby coffee shop to wait for him, which he agreed to initially until he found out we were running late because, well, he didn't have it planned out right and got up late. And then he started yelling at me about importance of his job and he's going to be late because of it etc. on our way to the coffee shop. And yes he was late, so he told his family and kept scolding me that I made him late for work because I wanted to go to the coffee shop. And that "normally" people could just wait for him in the car or drive his car around but I couldn't because I don't have a driver's license (I never had to drive before). He called me a snowflake that couldn't do little sacrifice for him though he did everything for me. And that he did the same for his ex but at the end it didn't work because she wasn't appreciative, which totally sounds like a threat to me.
I don't know what's going on anymore. My spiritual life is suffering because I couldn't find peace to pray and read. I don't know if those things are normal things that every couple needs to deal with. I'm going back to my family soon and I don't even know if I should go back to get married anymore. Should people voluntarily pick up the crosses knowing the crosses that'll be coming from their spouses?
Your problem is that you're a flake, not so much a snowflake but, rather, a flake, like 95% of women who are 18 years old up to near retirement years.
Topic: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage? (Read 4250 times)