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Author Topic: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?  (Read 4241 times)

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Änσnymσus

  • Guest
Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #55 on: September 08, 2026, 05:26:25 PM »
Quote from: Justinian on September 08, 2026, 04:35:49 PM
The more I read of this thread, the more convinced I am that OP should end her engagement to this guy. 
Is she actually engaged to this guy?  If so and she breaks the engagement, in tradition that is an impediment to marry in the future.  Know your religion.
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Offline laststand

Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #56 on: September 08, 2026, 06:02:45 PM »
Quote from: Änσnymσus on September 08, 2026, 05:26:25 PM
Is she actually engaged to this guy?  If so and she breaks the engagement, in tradition that is an impediment to marry in the future.  Know your religion.
Do you have a source for this? I've never heard that before.

What I do know is that engagements used to be legally binding and you had to go through the bishop or some sort of proper channel to dissolve an engagement. And there were different penalties for who broke the engagement. If the man broke it, he had to pay financial compensations due to women not being employed. If the women broke it, they typically took a huge blow to their reputation and men would be gun shy about giving her a chance.

I will say there are way too many broken engagements in tradition and it is a reflection of the state of courtship and marriage in tradition. And because they are not public like marriages, we can't tally up the number of broken engagements so easily. It is probably more than we think.
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Offline Matthew

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Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #57 on: September 08, 2026, 06:02:51 PM »
I'm calling BS on this one. You're going to have to show proof that breaking off an ill-advised engagement (especially when new, clearer information is gained) is an impediment.

Heck, why even have an engagement? Might as well consider the engagement the marriage while we're at it. If an engagement is so permanent, irrevocable, etc.
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Offline Justinian

Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #58 on: September 08, 2026, 06:04:50 PM »
Quote from: Matthew on September 08, 2026, 06:02:51 PM
I'm calling BS on this one. You're going to have to show proof that breaking off an ill-advised engagement (especially when new, clearer information is gained) is an impediment.

Heck, why even have an engagement? Might as well consider the engagement the marriage while we're at it. If an engagement is so permanent, irrevocable, etc.
Exactly. No priest has ever told me that breaking an engagement is an impediment to future marriage. 
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Änσnymσus

  • Guest
Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #59 on: September 08, 2026, 06:05:40 PM »
Quote from: Änσnymσus on September 08, 2026, 05:26:25 PM
Is she actually engaged to this guy?  If so and she breaks the engagement, in tradition that is an impediment to marry in the future.  Know your religion.
Not sure what your religion is but if you'd like to learn about betrothal in the Catholic religion, this is a decent resource:

A commentary on the new Code of the canon law (all volumes) : Dom Charles Augustine Bachofen, O.S.B., D.D., 1872- : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
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