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Author Topic: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?  (Read 4358 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2026, 08:28:07 AM »
A lot of trads have this big hesitation with dating apps that I don't really understand, they're not ideal but it's the same as Matthew said about driving a car, there's not really much options. But if you really don't want to use them, use that one matchmaking thread and that social media thing MaterDominici started. I can almost guarantee you'll get a suitor.

Here you can also filter by traditional Catholics: Discord catholic dating servers and Duolicious.

If you're older there's Facebook groups. In the States there's even Facebook Dating but I don't know if you can filter there.
Well and then the classic Catholic ones like CatholicMatch. There's quite a few.

Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2026, 08:30:32 AM »
It's not the first time I met guys that have some traditional beliefs from Catholics (mostly something basic like being politically conservative and not being ultra gαy) but don't want the whole package. There was a guy that came to our SSPX chapel that everybody helped him with catechism but he was only going there to find a "tradwife" and stopped going learning that the real trad wife is not going to sleep with him until marriage.
Right -- but he moved on. Which is to be expected (for someone who doesn't really care about morality).

OP says her man can provide which means he can get other women. So why is he marrying her when there are (many other) women who will give him what he wants now and in the future?  


Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2026, 08:31:40 AM »
A lot of trads have this big hesitation with dating apps that I don't really understand, they're not ideal but it's the same as Matthew said about driving a car, there's not really much options. But if you really don't want to use them, use that one matchmaking thread and that social media thing MaterDominici started. I can almost guarantee you'll get a suitor.

Here you can also filter by traditional Catholics: Discord catholic dating servers and Duolicious.

If you're older there's Facebook groups. In the States there's even Facebook Dating but I don't know if you can filter there.
There is a difference between
- the young woman advertising herself online and young men reaching out to her first with passive "input" from her parents.
- The father advertising his daughter online and the young men reaching out to the father\male guardian first.

If I was a father, I would never allow a daughter under my roof the first option but I would be okay with the second option. The duty of the father is to assist their daughter to find a husband. It is not her job to scour the four corners of the earth like some intrepid explorer of uncharted territory. That's a modern idea and dating websites (Catholic or not) encourage this which is why Trads are correct in having reservations about them.

And these same distinctions can be made offline too. A father going up to a young man he knows and asking him "Would you like to court my daughter?" As opposed to a young man going up to a woman and asking her out and then addressing the father. Huge difference.

Änσnymσus

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Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2026, 08:32:21 AM »
Why do you even want to be with this guy? He's not Catholic and you don't seem to like him all that much. 
This.  
Definitely don't marry him. 

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Re: Am I being a snowflake, or am I entering an abusive marriage?
« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2026, 08:35:18 AM »
Remember, to a large degree, you're not just marrying the person, you're marrying the family. Yes, I know that's not 100% accurate (my wife's family is Novus Ordo on one side, and non-religious on the other) but don't forget where your spouse-to-be came from. They were RAISED by those parents, with the values, culture, and habits those 2 parents have. If there is too much of a mis-match, it's not going to work.

I was going to make the same comment. 
(i.e. you're marrying the family.)