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Author Topic: adultery  (Read 1418 times)

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Änσnymσus

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adultery
« on: April 01, 2015, 03:31:56 PM »
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  • What if a wife finds her husband multiple times cheating on her. What recourse does she have?

      What would have to be done?  


    Änσnymσus

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    adultery
    « Reply #1 on: April 01, 2015, 03:34:42 PM »
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  • Church teaching grants that adultery (and even more so, if repeatedly) constitute solid grounds for separation. You are not in obligation to continue living with that person.


    Änσnymσus

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    adultery
    « Reply #2 on: April 01, 2015, 03:42:34 PM »
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  • I would separate.  No relations with husband.  I would have yourself checked for in STD's.  Pray heavily for his sorrow!!  He is in mortal sin and he will find what he is doing tasteless.  He is in a position of despair, next to ѕυιcιdє.  The devil works in this fashion.  Like a snake,lures, bites and the victim is hypnotized.   The devil wants despair to ѕυιcιdє to have a soul in hell with him.

    So, separate, keep your self  very busy, no looking for someone else or you to will be in adultry.  Beg the whole cohort of heaven and purgatory  to intercede for his rebirth/awakening.

    If you have love for him, I would think you do, if there is any conversation, take the Holy Ghost with you and give him truth, that no one loves you like you do, no one knows him like you do.

    IF he should come back, HE must be tested for STD's before he is to have you back. That is a must!  Many prayers!!

    Offline Cantarella

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    adultery
    « Reply #3 on: April 01, 2015, 04:09:03 PM »
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    Some people say remarry . its not your fault you are being forced to live alone


    Excuse me, what do you mean? you cannot re-marry in the Catholic Church.

    Adultery constitutes grounds for separation and she is no longer obliged to live with her husband nor have marital relations with him; but that does not mean she can re-marry nor get a divorce. They can live separate lives. He will still be her husband before God even is she does not live with him until one of them dies.
    If anyone says that true and natural water is not necessary for baptism and thus twists into some metaphor the words of our Lord Jesus Christ" Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Spirit" (Jn 3:5) let him be anathema.

    Änσnymσus

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    adultery
    « Reply #4 on: April 01, 2015, 04:19:57 PM »
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    Church teaching grants that adultery (and even more so, if repeatedly) constitute solid grounds for separation. You are not in obligation to continue living with that person.


    Whoa, hold on there. Don't move out, or kick your husband out, based on this comment without more detail.  It's not that simple!
     
    1) Traditionally, the rare instance where a couple may separate is with the permission of a Bishop, which follows
    2)  intensive counsel to rehabilitate the marriage with a priest.

    A Bishop approved separation happens under dire circuмstances such as violence, or scandal in front of the children.  Marriage is too critical for the Church to permit this to happen commonly.  Unfortunately, adultery is not uncommon for Catholics, so there would be a LOT of separations if that was the only criteria.

    First - pray and fast.  Constantly have the picture of Christ carrying the cross, it will strengthen you to carry yours, which is very heavy under these circuмstances.  Also, find solace in the arms of Our Mother of Sorrows.
    Second - see a priest.  Take his counsel.  "Do whatever he tells you."
    Third - do not show anger or coldness toward your husband. There is a great victory in being dignified.  Don't ever give into the temptation of screaming and histrionics which is mostly an exhibition of self indulgence because we are hurt.  Act like a grand dame at ALL TIMES, civilized, calm, composed. How would Mary behave?  Then behave accordingly. Schedule your discussions so you have time to compose your thoughts and can express them quietly to him.  You could even write your thoughts down to give to him.  Catholics are dignified, and we bear our crosses with joy and acceptance.  Always avoid the drama, which won't help a bit and will alienate him further, giving him justification in his current state of mind.  

    (quick note:  medical test to ensure no communicable disease if there is a return to marital relations, but your priest will help you with this)

    He must determine why he's a serial adulterer, sabotaging the holy sacrament of marriage and his family.   You must help him to the best of your ability, which may be limited by his cooperation or other factors. In the end, your priest will guide you.  Make sure he's traditional.  






    Offline Matthew

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    adultery
    « Reply #5 on: April 01, 2015, 04:29:51 PM »
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  • Quote from: Cantarella
    Quote from: Guest
    Some people say remarry . its not your fault you are being forced to live alone


    Excuse me, what do you mean? you cannot re-marry in the Catholic Church.

    Adultery constitutes grounds for separation and she is no longer obliged to live with her husband nor have marital relations with him; but that does not mean she can re-marry nor get a divorce. They can live separate lives. He will still be her husband before God even is she does not live with him until one of them dies.


    This must be kept in mind.

    This is not Cantarella's (or anyone else's) opinion. It is Catholic doctrine.

    Also note the other post (which follows Cantarella's) -- namely, you need to see a priest. Don't just take matters (especially a grave action like separation) into your own hands.
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    Offline Capt McQuigg

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    adultery
    « Reply #6 on: April 01, 2015, 07:26:38 PM »
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  • Quote from: Guest
    Quote
    Church teaching grants that adultery (and even more so, if repeatedly) constitute solid grounds for separation. You are not in obligation to continue living with that person.


    Whoa, hold on there. Don't move out, or kick your husband out, based on this comment without more detail.  It's not that simple!
     
    1) Traditionally, the rare instance where a couple may separate is with the permission of a Bishop, which follows
    2)  intensive counsel to rehabilitate the marriage with a priest.

    A Bishop approved separation happens under dire circuмstances such as violence, or scandal in front of the children.  Marriage is too critical for the Church to permit this to happen commonly.  Unfortunately, adultery is not uncommon for Catholics, so there would be a LOT of separations if that was the only criteria.

    First - pray and fast.  Constantly have the picture of Christ carrying the cross, it will strengthen you to carry yours, which is very heavy under these circuмstances.  Also, find solace in the arms of Our Mother of Sorrows.
    Second - see a priest.  Take his counsel.  "Do whatever he tells you."
    Third - do not show anger or coldness toward your husband. There is a great victory in being dignified.  Don't ever give into the temptation of screaming and histrionics which is mostly an exhibition of self indulgence because we are hurt.  Act like a grand dame at ALL TIMES, civilized, calm, composed. How would Mary behave?  Then behave accordingly. Schedule your discussions so you have time to compose your thoughts and can express them quietly to him.  You could even write your thoughts down to give to him.  Catholics are dignified, and we bear our crosses with joy and acceptance.  Always avoid the drama, which won't help a bit and will alienate him further, giving him justification in his current state of mind.  

    (quick note:  medical test to ensure no communicable disease if there is a return to marital relations, but your priest will help you with this)

    He must determine why he's a serial adulterer, sabotaging the holy sacrament of marriage and his family.   You must help him to the best of your ability, which may be limited by his cooperation or other factors. In the end, your priest will guide you.  Make sure he's traditional.  






    Excellent post!

    Änσnymσus

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    adultery
    « Reply #7 on: April 01, 2015, 08:27:47 PM »
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  • Quote from: Guest
    What if a wife finds her husband multiple times cheating on her. What recourse does she have?

      What would have to be done?  

    In order to survive the shock and anguish, it is wise to calmly and politely avoid any discussion, small talk, or anything not directly related to the care of the children.  Cheaters very often manage to fake quitting adultery after getting caught, because they are not truly sorry, because they have justified their behavior, because they don't want to pay alimony and child support, because their intellects have become very dark due to habitual mortal sins.

    Once in a great while couples recover from this tragedy.  Many people find the lying and betrayal to be worse than even the loss of a child.  The Church is merciful about separating in such cases.  

    There are numerous electronic surveillance services available to get the facts.  No idea if they are considered moral or what exactly they are, but they are of great help to people whose spouses try to convince them that they are crazy, or unfit mothers.  If this has happened different times over the years, the cheater has gotten very cunning at covering his tracks.  There may need to be proof if the husband denies this to clergy or friends and family.  Ask a good priest.

    It's a terrible cross.  If at all possible, talk to a priest who is not soft on adultery, one who understands the intense damage this does to families.  Don't let anyone blame you.  All marriages have problems, but the issues do not justify such a betrayal of sacred vows.