This argument will go nowhere because it is trying to "make a right' decision within a corrupted system. The government takes so much of our money to fund the oligarchs and support war and moral depravity around the world that most of us don't have the personal cash flow ( that should be ours to give)to support works of charity outside of our basic Church" tithe" or allottment- Of course, it's by design. ( count me in on the paranoid part)
So ,since we are within the evil system, we have to decide how to engage it if at all. I think pulling ourselves "up by our bootstraps" may be a proper mindset, but not realistic in the current circuмstances for most people. Yet- we are supposed to tread the narrow road between acceptability and sin as we 'limit children" due to the sickness of society and the economy. Taking any government supplementation may not be a pleasant way ,but it might be a necessary way to go, at least temporarily) since our money is funnelled through these programs. The economy does not favor christian male employment, and or success in the system, especially with single income families. The the only way to possibly break free is to have your own business or become an independent contractor of some sort, and there is big risk in that, especially with a large family. The Amish have it right in the economic sense. They opt out of the system and take care of each other- we don't.