The 2012 Darwin Awards are out !



                                The Darwin Awards honor the least evolved
among us


                                1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to
fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California
would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.

                                And now, the Honorable mentions:

                                2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost
a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around,
submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting
negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried
the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

                                3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to
clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

                                4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal
bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.

                                5. An American teenager was in the
hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
train before he was hit.

                                6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K,
put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened
the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from
the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount
of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and
gives you money, is a crime committed?]

                                7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer
pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.

                                8. As a female shopper exited a New York
convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of
the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They
put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken
out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, �Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

                                9. The Ann Arbor News crime column
reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5
A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away.


                                [*AND THE SPECIAL 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD
WINNER]
                                10. When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a
hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank
by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that
it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
                                In the interest of bettering mankind,
please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of
these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In
that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

                                Remember....
                                They walk among us,

                                they can reproduce, and
                                they are permitted to vote!!!

Satan is the prince of this world.
We should not be entertained by, or rejoice in the misfortunes or deaths of these souls, but pray for God's mercy on them, and on ourselves for finding amusement in their state of sinfulness and/or abject ignorance.

The Pharisee standing, prayed thus with himself: O God, I give thee thanks that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, as also is this publican. [12] I fast twice in a week: I give tithes of all that I possess. [13] And the publican, standing afar off, would not so much as lift up his eyes towards heaven; but struck his breast, saying: O God, be merciful to me a sinner. [14] I say to you, this man went down into his house justified rather than the other: because every one that exalteth himself, shall be humbled: and he that humbleth himself, shall be exalted.

 St. Luke 18: 11-14

Because I'm a stickler for accuracy, I'd like to add that the Darwin awards website says nothing about 2012 Awards being chosen yet, so these are quite likely made up. I was suspicious as most of these would not qualify for a true "Darwin award".

To get a Darwin award, the idiot in question has to die or lose the ability to reproduce by his or her stupid act.