Author Topic: 2012 Darwin Awards  (Read 1515 times)

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Änσnymσus

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2012 Darwin Awards
« on: January 20, 2013, 07:37:01 PM »
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  •                                 The 2012 Darwin Awards are out !



                                    The Darwin Awards honor the least evolved
    among us


                                    1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to
    fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California
    would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
    He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
    worked.

                                    And now, the Honorable mentions:

                                    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost
    a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around,
    submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting
    negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried
    the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

                                    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to
    clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
    vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

                                    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal
    bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was
    supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
    wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
    and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
    passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
    were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
    discovered for 3 days.

                                    5. An American teenager was in the
    hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
    train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
    he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving
    train before he was hit.

                                    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K,
    put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened
    the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
    register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from
    the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount
    of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and
    gives you money, is a crime committed?]

                                    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer
    pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
    liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
    block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
    back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
    liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
    videotape.

                                    8. As a female shopper exited a New York
    convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
    immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of
    the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They
    put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken
    out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
    replied, �Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
    from."

                                    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column
    reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5
    A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
    he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
    man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
    breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away.


                                    [*AND THE SPECIAL 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD
    WINNER]
                                    10. When a man attempted to siphon
    gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a
    hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
    to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
    sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
    gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank
    by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that
    it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
                                    In the interest of bettering mankind,
    please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of
    these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In
    that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

                                    Remember....
                                    They walk among us,

                                    they can reproduce, and
                                    they are permitted to vote!!!





    Änσnymσus

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #1 on: January 20, 2013, 08:55:16 PM »
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  • 2013 has to be the Russians who last week went down a ski slope in dombey in the Caucasus mountains and slid down a 1000 metre precipice.

    I have never seen anything dumber.


    Änσnymσus

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #2 on: January 20, 2013, 09:03:39 PM »
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  • Satan is the prince of this world.
    We should not be entertained by, or rejoice in the misfortunes or deaths of these souls, but pray for God's mercy on them, and on ourselves for finding amusement in their state of sinfulness and/or abject ignorance.
    Quote
    The Pharisee standing, prayed thus with himself: O God, I give thee thanks that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, as also is this publican. [12] I fast twice in a week: I give tithes of all that I possess. [13] And the publican, standing afar off, would not so much as lift up his eyes towards heaven; but struck his breast, saying: O God, be merciful to me a sinner. [14] I say to you, this man went down into his house justified rather than the other: because every one that exalteth himself, shall be humbled: and he that humbleth himself, shall be exalted.
     St. Luke 18: 11-14

    Änσnymσus

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #3 on: January 20, 2013, 09:18:36 PM »
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  • Quote from: Guest
       7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer
    pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
    liquor window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
    block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
    back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
    liquor window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
    videotape.


    I find this sad.

    Just think. The man was that desperate for booze, and thought the business would be dumb enough to use a glass storfront, when selling something in high demand like alcohol.

    Imagine that guy didn't have a very good day. He was desperate for alcohol, and he ended up with a head concussion. Whatever problem he was trying to run away from was still standing there, taunting him, laughing at him.

    So much suffering in this world.

    Änσnymσus

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #4 on: January 20, 2013, 09:35:59 PM »
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  • Because I'm a stickler for accuracy, I'd like to add that the Darwin awards website says nothing about 2012 Awards being chosen yet, so these are quite likely made up. I was suspicious as most of these would not qualify for a true "Darwin award".


    Änσnymσus

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #5 on: January 21, 2013, 07:16:52 AM »
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  • Quote from: Guest
    Satan is the prince of this world.
    We should not be entertained by, or rejoice in the misfortunes or deaths of these souls, but pray for God's mercy on them, and on ourselves for finding amusement in their state of sinfulness and/or abject ignorance.


    There is a lesson there though showing that without God front and center in their lives some people can be incredibly dumb.  These idiots who jump off roofs onto coffee tables and turn themselves into quadriplegics, to entertain their friends on Facebook, do show us the full effect of original sin, human vanity and irrationality.

    We should equally not gloat when Bernie Madoff is jailed.  But it would be remiss to not meditate on it.

    A sensible person can take these lessons and parse them into their own life and work out whether they are exposing themselves to danger with no proportionate upside.  So in the right spirit they are good lessons, in that we can learn from other people's mistakes.

    Offline Sigismund

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    2012 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #6 on: January 24, 2013, 08:30:35 PM »
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  • To get a Darwin award, the idiot in question has to die or lose the ability to reproduce by his or her stupid act.
    Stir up within Thy Church, we beseech Thee, O Lord, the Spirit with which blessed Josaphat, Thy Martyr and Bishop, was filled, when he laid down his life for his sheep: so that, through his intercession, we too may be moved and strengthen by the same Spir


     

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