I find reminding her of #3 to be one of the most effective tactics for correcting an unruly wife.

St. Alphonsus addresses whether a husband should feed an adulterous wife…

...to the lions  ?

‘sdat you, Emile?

...to the lions  ?

I think he says he should feed her, though not excessively; excessive food is matter for lust.

my advice on good marriages from men who have had long successful marriages and whose children have married well and stayed married.

So not from celibate priests?

No, practically what do they know?

Parish priests counsel thousands of marriages of all different types; they confess mostly marrieds. They have training in moral theology, too.
Most married people have only seen one marriage up close and personal (and not even objectively, because they're within it): their own (and their parents' to a lesser degree).

Stupidest post of the week.  
So a reformed drunkard has no useful advice on the sinfulness of excessive drinking? 👌

I wouldn't go so far as to call it "stupid", but both of your points are well taken.

Having been married and divorced, I could tell any man who cares to listen, some things you might do --- and that I didn't do --- to secure the integrity of one's marriage, home, and family.  Had to learn the hard way.

One thing --- and this isn't necessarily a reference to adultery --- is do not ever let third parties into your home (physically or psychologically) to the extent that they end up running your lives.  There's a certain stripe of person who will do that if you let them --- they live for such an opportunity.  Once a man loses sovereignty of his own home, it's pretty much game over.  Mistake made that wouldn't be repeated, if there ever were a second time.  All I'm going to say about that.

How exactly does the husband lose sovereignty?

By getting married.

By getting married.

Facetiousness aside, there is a truth to this.