Author Topic: Playmates for kids (Read 4325 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** July 29, 2014, 01:40:55 PM »

My wife and I homeschool, so finding playmates / friends for our children (preschool / kindergarten age) is a challenge.

The parish we attend has very few families with small children... and we're not especially sociable to begin with. And while I'm thankful our kids have each other, I realize that forming friendships is very important at their age. But playing with neighborhood kids is out of the question - all of our careful parenting goes out the window if our kids are playing with some local youngster whose parents let him watch whatever he wants on TV and the internet... I should know. Every bad influence on me in my childhood and teenage years came from other kids at school or around the neighborhood.

Does anyone know of any Catholic homeschooling networks or groups that arrange or encourage "playdates" (how I hate that term) for children?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Frances · « **Reply #1 on:** July 29, 2014, 02:27:33 PM »

:dancing-banana:
Why not use CI? Start by giving your general location. I don't have children, but many on this forum do! Do remember, just because a family goes to a Latin Mass doesn't mean they are TV/internet/worldly free! Your best option may be to prray for more children. Preschoolers do not need to be "socialised" by their peers. That is a myth of modern psychology.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #2 on:** July 29, 2014, 04:00:23 PM »

Well, just a thought. There are home schoolers that may not be catholic, but they meet at public playgrounds. You may find some there. As they get older, maybe pen pals or such. Maybe an ad, but I don't know how you would word it. You might find a family but you may have to drive to them.

"Traditional Catholic home schoolers, looking for others like us for communication."

Pray about it, ask your priest and just keep trying.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** July 29, 2014, 04:02:39 PM »

Perhaps you could pray for more children?

TKGS · « **Reply #4 on:** July 29, 2014, 04:11:37 PM »

You said, "kids". This implies more than one. The kids can and should be playmates to each other.

We live in a rural area. Until a family had a new house built on a wooded property next to us, we had no children anywhere near us. The only "interaction" my children ever got outside the home with other "kids" was pretty much on Sunday after Mass and even there, there were not a lot of children. They learned to play with each other and quietly alone.

One of the lessons of the Catechism is that your own family make up that group of neighbors that the second of the two great commandments commands us to love as ourselves.

I'm not saying that having a few "play dates" for the kids with other homeschooling should be avoided, but there need be no "challenge" you need to undertake. If opportunities arise, have at it. If you find people with whose children your children can play on occasion, that's great. But your children will not grow up to be another Boo Radley from the movie, To Kill a Mockingbird, if they don't play with other kids.

Nadir · « **Reply #5 on:** July 29, 2014, 04:57:04 PM »

Quote from: Guest

And while I'm thankful our kids have each other, I realize that forming friendships is very important at their age.

At pre-school/kindergarten age? Children need to be relating to their parents and siblings in a healthy way. Nothing else is necessary. Of course more is better when it comes to brothers and sisters. But numbers will hopefully increase.

I think you are being too premature by conforming to the worldly stance that family is inhibiting. So relax and enjoy this time. It won't last long and they'll be gone.

Quote

"playdates" (how I hate that term) for children?

I hate that term too. Sounds horrible and false. Children don't need these special entertainments. They should learn to live with what they have. Beware of raising expectations of being entertained.

Sometimes when children lack real friends, they can create their own with their imaginations.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** July 29, 2014, 05:07:14 PM »

Thank you all for your very sound and Catholic advice.

On reflection, I think I have indeed been unduly influenced by modern mores of "socialization."

Actually, my wife is pregnant with our third child, so perhaps God is answering this prayer of mine before I even uttered a word.

Thank you all again and God Bless you.

Matthew · « **Reply #7 on:** July 29, 2014, 05:34:00 PM »

I think the need for friends outside the home gets stronger in the teen years.

At some point, kids WILL wonder what's outside the walls of the house and many WILL want to go exploring. Some might even rebel, depending on their temperament and what the environment is like at home.

Some kids seem to truly NEED friends and socialization, while others seem to get by just fine. It's a question of temperaments.

There are all kinds in the world, don't forget that. To give just one example: some guys would prefer playing football to reading/studying a book on the Python programming language. Others would prefer reading a book about a programming language to playing football with a group.

No, really. I'm serious. I fall into the latter category myself! And there are others like me.

So even if your kids are more shy, etc. don't think that all kids are that way, or that all kids can be that way.

"People" are my favorite subject, and I've done a LOT of reading, observing and thinking about this topic.

I think the key is to make sure children are slowly taught how to deal with the big bad world. Not to throw them in the deep end at age 5 -- that would be disastrous. But as they get older, you trust them more and more, give them more thorough explanations as to WHY we do this and that, etc.

"Because I said so." shouldn't be uttered to a child over the age of 6 -- Unless you want your kids to rebel at the earliest opportunity.

Authoritativeness, passion/zeal, mockery, sarcasm, etc. won't be enough to convince your kids of the virtue of modesty (for example) once they hit a certain age. Eventually they have to adopt your beliefs for themselves. You have to respect them enough to give them a decent explanation.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** July 29, 2014, 06:19:09 PM »

I agree with the comment above

Cantarella · « **Reply #9 on:** July 29, 2014, 06:20:35 PM »

Congratulations on your wife's pregnancy.

This is a Catholic homeschooling forum:

http://4real.thenetsmith.com/

Perhaps you may find some people in your area.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #10 on:** July 30, 2014, 08:47:56 AM »

I had the same worries when my oldest kids were little since we homeschool too. At that time we just moved out to the country and didn't know anyone. We eventually found a homeschool group that met for arts and crafts and other activities.

But looking back, if there are a couple brothers and sisters to start they don't necessarily need outside friends. I find they are happiest when we get down and play with them once in a while. You could put them in some kind of lessons for an outing once a week such as swimming or a children's choir. That way they can indirectly interact with other kids in a busy, controlled environment where they won't be too easily influenced.

Congrats!

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #11 on:** July 31, 2014, 01:30:47 AM »

We have also found that outside classes is an busy environment work really well. The kids have learned to deal with other kids outside the family and how to set a good example, plus how to introduce themselves and conduct themselves around their peers in such a way that represents. Catholicism well.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #12 on:** July 31, 2014, 12:43:23 PM »

We home schooled our children. They are now age 40, 38, 32 and 28. Being mom, I kept them busy, us busy. We did what we wanted to do with museums and outings and such. If the kids wanted music lessons, we had one just around the corner for string instruments and our city had other hobbies and such. My kids cooked the dinners and dessert and played with the children in the neighborhood. I had people say, "What about their social?" Well, it was the least of my thoughts. I knew that they were being formed catholic and I knew the world was not so great and being formed catholic was essential!

My highest suggestion is to be very informed/watchful when they get maybe past 10 of their companions. And when they venture out to work, just who they are around. Drugs is a huge problem and now ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖs are not just adults, they are children preying on children.

My children were actually happy to be at home away from the bullies and those children who are bullies and such.

Our son is looking for a good traditional lady and he is age 38. A truck driver for Swift and we have had many talks on this subject. I told him that of course we want his happiness, but that is heaven #1. If God desires for him to have a lady, he will see that it happens. And if not, he is to continue his prayers, daily rosaries.

One daughter went drugs and came out alive. She does not want God at this point. It is very sorrowful. She is ever in our prayers and she knows it. She knows that she sins much and at age 18 she took on the name Mary Magdelene knowing why she took her name. After age 18, Elizabeth's free will is still where it is, without God and her daughter our grand daughter of age 10 we pray very much for and this gal wants God and she knows how to pray the rosary. We baptized her and we never stop praying and we speak up for the laws of God.

Katie is 32, married to a traditional young man and have one daughter. So far so good.

Then Jeanette who married as a catholic but very lukewarm. She married a man not catholic and has 2 boys. Jeanette stopped going to Mass and sacraments and we cried. Then I reminded Jeanette that when she married it was said and promised that the children would be raised catholic. She did bring the oldest son for more sacraments and she comes with him to mass. Now she has the 7 year old and we hope and pray that she slowly continues and pray that one day her husband will convert.

That is where we are. Children to have a free will and we do our best to form them and you do just that! Children may fight the issues with you from time to time about where they are going and with who and such. They do make mistakes and they will grow up to know that they had it very good with good parents and they can only point the finger at themselves and they know that it is the Precious Blood that is the remedy that makes us New!

Enjoy your children!

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** July 31, 2014, 01:34:24 PM »

Thank you for your advice.

God bless you and your family.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #14 on:** July 31, 2014, 03:04:13 PM »

Quote from: Guest

We home schooled our children. They are now age 40, 38, 32 and 28. Being mom, I kept them busy, us busy. We did what we wanted to do with museums and outings and such. If the kids wanted music lessons, we had one just around the corner for string instruments and our city had other hobbies and such. My kids cooked the dinners and dessert and played with the children in the neighborhood. I had people say, "What about their social?" Well, it was the least of my thoughts. I knew that they were being formed catholic and I knew the world was not so great and being formed catholic was essential!

My highest suggestion is to be very informed/watchful when they get maybe past 10 of their companions. And when they venture out to work, just who they are around. Drugs is a huge problem and now ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖs are not just adults, they are children preying on children.

My children were actually happy to be at home away from the bullies and those children who are bullies and such.

Our son is looking for a good traditional lady and he is age 38. A truck driver for Swift and we have had many talks on this subject. I told him that of course we want his happiness, but that is heaven #1. If God desires for him to have a lady, he will see that it happens. And if not, he is to continue his prayers, daily rosaries.

One daughter went drugs and came out alive. She does not want God at this point. It is very sorrowful. She is ever in our prayers and she knows it. She knows that she sins much and at age 18 she took on the name Mary Magdelene knowing why she took her name. After age 18, Elizabeth's free will is still where it is, without God and her daughter our grand daughter of age 10 we pray very much for and this gal wants God and she knows how to pray the rosary. We baptized her and we never stop praying and we speak up for the laws of God.

Katie is 32, married to a traditional young man and have one daughter. So far so good.

Then Jeanette who married as a catholic but very lukewarm. She married a man not catholic and has 2 boys. Jeanette stopped going to Mass and sacraments and we cried. Then I reminded Jeanette that when she married it was said and promised that the children would be raised catholic. She did bring the oldest son for more sacraments and she comes with him to mass. Now she has the 7 year old and we hope and pray that she slowly continues and pray that one day her husband will convert.

That is where we are. Children to have a free will and we do our best to form them and you do just that! Children may fight the issues with you from time to time about where they are going and with who and such. They do make mistakes and they will grow up to know that they had it very good with good parents and they can only point the finger at themselves and they know that it is the Precious Blood that is the remedy that makes us New!

Enjoy your children!

Now that your children are grown, would you say that it was better, in the long run, to shelter them by home schooling and monitoring their friends, etc, or did it cause them to rebel when they were finally 'set free'?

I have a few friends who insist that sheltering will cause rebellion. One put her home schooled children back in school for socialization and in order to slowly introduce them to the world to prevent rebellion later on. They are allowed to watch T.V and keep in touch with the modern world while practicing their faith; kind of a balance.

Personally, I think we have to shelter the kids to the best of our ability to form them completely before we send them out to the wolves. We have to teach them to turn away from the modern world since we can't have both God and the world. As Sister Lucy says, "From now on we have to choose..."

My friend cautions me that my children will probably rebel later on which makes me more determined to prove her wrong!

Author Topic: Playmates for kids (Read 4325 times)

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