I was once a dandy who liked old films and I am not ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ. So that doesn't make you a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ. But you are not just a dandy who likes old films, but a dandy who likes old films who wrote a post asking for advice about your love of the male form. Because of that, it might behoove one to be more careful. That isn't Rita Hayworth you have in your icon.
I think you really have tapped into the root of your problem by admitting you are a dandy, and that problem may be narcissism rather than ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity. Narcissism and self-love may BECOME ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity. It seems to me there is something inherently narcissistic about physically admiring a member of the same sex, in a way that borders on attraction -- or is that too Freudian?
I don't know. I have nothing ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ about me -- being honest to a fault, I would admit if I did, as I think this site knows -- but I am a strange case. I am not a natural-born dandy because I am not naturally handsome. I had a nose job at 19, and that is what caused me to be vain. It completely changed my appearance and kind of gave me a split personality. I went from being meek and painfully shy to being like the incarnation of Narcissus. It was so bad I would sometimes stare at myself in the glass case at the frozen-foods section and become completely mesmerized. What makes it worse is that I was fascinated by my own brain as well and thought I was a genius, so I had a double vanity which bordered on the Satanic.
The ironic thing is that, now that I have been ( hopefully ) healed of this malady, I realize that even with the nose job I am quite plain. My great "beauty" was all in my head.
So my advice to you is to work on the dandy business. I have de-dandified myself. I used to dress like a fop with the silky shirt and the buttons undone and the bangs -- I kind of tried to be like the actor Alain Delon, or the singer Bryan Ferry.
http://katnip.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/alain-delon.jpgI'm an American who tried to be Eurotrash. But as I became Catholic, I became so ashamed of this attitude, and especially of having changed my God-given face, that I lost almost all pleasure in looking at myself. I realized that God is the only star and that I am in His shadow. To doll yourself up seems ridiculous once you know this.
Some advice I can give you is to wear your hair in a way you think is unflattering. It may actually BE flattering, but what is important is that in your own imagination it robs you of your attractiveness. I think my best look is the David Bowie mullet. I am one of the few who can pull off a mullet and not look trashy -- in my mind, it makes me look like Michael the Archangel. It's like I was born for that haircut. So I work against it and deny it to myself. Instead of my magic mullet, I try to keep my hair short and slick it back, which emphasizes my weak chin and makes me look like a mouse or even a rat. I feel cruddy and ugly. That may not sound pleasant, but it keeps me out of harm's way. Even if someone flirts with me, I just think, "What's wrong with you, can't you see I'm ugly and look like a rat?"
Also, wear clothes that embarrass you. Like I'll wear the same outfit for a week straight or thereabouts until it gets all wrinkly and I look like a bum. All these things help.
Foppishness is nothing to take lightly, my man. It can lead you into labyrinths of evil you never knew existed. God hates pride, and those who are prideful are at the mercy of the devil -- a character not known for his mercy. But take heart, because the Catholic tradition has a long history of reformed playboys and dandies, from St. Augustine to St. Francis to St. Ignatius. Those are some of the heaviest of heavy hitters, and all of them are reformed dandies.
I hope this helps. But I have to go to bed now because I'm getting silly and chuckling to myself about the word "dandies."